No One Gets it

Destiny

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Right after my encounter with the pretty-eyed stranger, I headed straight for my new locker.

I walked down the halls, watching my mind replay the same thing over and over as if I were watching a movie. In the few minutes that I spent, standing in front of him, it felt as though he was reaching out, yet all I did was stand there.

Then again, I could be overthinking which I tend to do a lot. If that's the case, my mind sure is outdoing itself.

I shake myself back to reality and open my locker.

How can someone I barely know, take up this much space in my mind?

Once again, I pull myself out of my thoughts, this time, with the help of the loud bang that came from closing my locker shut.

I smile and repeat the process, opening my locker then closing it again.

Yup.

Just practicing for the year.

Nailed it.

Saffron met me where she said she would, then we walked down the halls, in search for tomorrow's classes, just to be sure we wouldn't get lost.

After, we walked towards my car and made our way to the café to pick up some cookies before we headed straight to Psychic, to see Mrs. Knight.

"What's wrong with you?" Saffron teased.

Staying calm, I took a deep breath before I began my rant. "I just don't understand why he pointed fingers. We both weren't looking and we both made the same stupid mistake. Ugh, how childish."

Actually, I guess it was pretty childish of me to make my stupid come back.

Whatever, it was good.

And he listened.

"Destiny, what the hell? We were separated for five minutes. Who's he? "she questioned, befuddled.

"Yeah, and five minutes felt like an eternity," I fired back. "But you know what?" I question with a flash of memory. "There was something about him I couldn't quite figure out. It was there. But at the same time, it wasn't. I could just say I'm overthinking everything but I know I'd just be reassuring myself."

It's like I understood what I didn't know.

"You mean like a spark?" Saffron chimed, clapping her hands together and adjusting her body to face mine.

Keeping my eyes on the road, I explain.

"No, no! Not at all. I just— I feel like I know him. But I've never seen him in my life, that's for sure."

I can read his emotions. I know what he feels. I don't know what he went through, but I know he went through something.

"It's crazy, I know."

"Yeah, I don't like this story. You're creeping me out." She faces front and continues. "Let's just wait for Mrs. knight to tell me all about your guys' first encounter."

"Oh gosh no," I plead. "You can get her to retell the story, but as always, I will not be not listening. I brought my journal with me."

I came prepared.

Since I was a little girl I enjoyed the feeling of expressing every thought and emotion, every bad or good day, onto paper. There'd be no one to judge what I feel. Just me, my pen, and my paper.

"Don't you always?" She laughed.

• • • • • •

Sean

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After leaving the food with my dad and enough hope that he'd actually eat it, I shut the door and head straight for Julianna's room.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

"Come in!"

Kiara must've left because Julianna was on her bed occupied on her phone.

"Hey, Jules. I'm going over to Nonna's to make sure she's well and eating. I brought dad some food, make sure he eats it okay?"

"What? No! Ask Kordell to do that, I'm coming with you."

Fuck, how could I forget? She loves Nonna. Of course, she'd wanna come.

"Alright, you ask him. He's in the game room with the guys. I'll get the car ready, just meet me out front in five."

She shot up from her bed, threw on some sweats and keeping her tank top on, she slipped into her go-to Nike slides, topping everything off with a messy bun.

"Alright let's go, " she said proudly, passing by me.

We make our way into the hall and just as I thought we were going to walk down together, she turns the other way.

"Where are you going, stupid? Game room's that way," I point, telling her in a duh tone.

She gave me an annoyed look and told me she wanted to let dad know first, explaining in a tone clearly stating that I should have known.

"Alright, I'll meet you in the car," I re-announce.

"You already said that," she calls out, not looking back.

"Fuck off, Jules," I scold as she strolls away, giggling.

• • • • • •

Short POV from Julianna

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I don't know if he was listening but after saying my quick goodbye's to dad, I made my way down to the game room where Sean said Kordell would be.

"Kordell," I announce, before walking into the game room.

"Julianna," River calls out. "It's been a while. Nice to see you."

Oh, right.

The guys were here. Just like Sean said they'd be. It's been a while. The last time I saw them, they were picking at my hair, messing with my toys. They were like the extra brothers I never asked for but never knew I wanted.

Now we're here, in the same room.

"Are you just going to stand there?" Kordell asks, not even looking at me, too busy playing video games.

"Nice to see you all," I whisper, loud enough for them to hear me.

"We could say the same," River replies with a smirk on his face.

They grew up to be really fine. Much more intimidating than when we were just kids.

All eyes were on me.

Oh god, my outfit.

I felt my face start to heat up when thankfully, to my discomfort, Kordell told everyone to fuck off and stop staring.

Thanks, bro.

"What is it, Jules?"

"Sean and I are going over to Nonna's, we'll be quick but you gotta make sure dad eats his food, okay?"

"Sean's leaving? And he didn't think to tell us? Well, now I'm all butt hurt," Seth sarcastically pouts, clearly imitating Sean. "Hey, I was kidding," he hollers, dodging the pillow Jason threw his way, probably thrown as a way to defend my other brother.

The boys laugh.

They haven't changed one bit.

"Alright, tell Nonna I say hey."

And with that, I quickly make my way out of the game room, and out front to meet Sean.

• • • • • •

Sean

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"Nonna!" Julianna greets, letting herself fall into Nonna's open arms, leaving me enough time to take a good look at her.

She looked better than the last time I came to check up on her. Her hair was pulled into a tight low bun and it was obvious that she's been eating again, taking care of herself.

"How are you, Nonna? You holding up well?" I question sincerely, embracing her in one arm, holding food in the other. "We brought you your favourite."

Other than myself, Nonna seemed to be the most affected by mom's death.

I saw the look in her eyes, and I recognized it all too well. Just like me, she was fighting her own battle. Just like me, she had more to get over than the rest of us. I don't know why yet, but something tells me she knows that I feel the same way.

This feeling of grief and sadness, mixed with selfishness and guilt is not something I can easily get away from. I know what it feels to be sucked into the darkest corner of your mind, thinking you belong there.

I won't let Nonna feel that way.

We've never openly said anything to each other, but I know we both blame ourselves. And that's why, ever since mom's death, I never stopped coming here. I needed to make sure she ate and treated herself well.

And to be honest, I needed someone to know and understand how I felt too. Nonna was the closest thing I got to that, and even though I don't know why yet, I know she needs someone exactly the way I do.

"Don't worry, honey. I'm eating," she assures, taking the food from my hand. "How's your father?" she asks, motioning for us to come in, shutting the door behind her.

I take a seat and Julianna takes one next to me, Nonna in front.

"We can't get him to eat, he misses her." Julianna sighs softly.

Fuck me. This isn't good for her. It's only making the process of her coping worse.

"Jules, can you wait in the kitchen?"

She was about to fight me on this but something flashed in her eyes, and she refrained. Nodding, she got up and slowly made her way to the kitchen.

Silence took over the living room but it wasn't awkward with Nonna. It was an understanding silence between the both of us.

Damn it, Nonna.

Open up.

I need to hear that I'm not alone.

Suddenly, Nonna breaks the silence by clearing her throat.

"It wasn't your fault Sean," she whispers, sounding as if she was on the verge of crying.

"Nonna, no matter how many times people tell me that, it won't matter. No one was there that night. No one saw how she looked into my eyes, almost begging me to stay. No one gets it," I whispered the last part.

"Just tell me what happened, Sean. I don't know what you mean. No one does. I know you're probably tired of hearing the others, but I will never stop. It is not your fault. It never was. Your mother, she—

I shoot my head up, hearing the hesitation in my grandmother's voice.

Was she going to open up?

"She wouldn't have wanted you to feel this way."

Damn it, Nonna.

Why won't you open up?

Why can't I?

"We should get going," I say in a soft tone.

She looks up at me and I could see that something was eating her alive.

She wanted to tell me something, but if she couldn't find it in herself to do so, I'll understand. Hell, I understood more than I wish I did. Giving her one final hug, I got up and made my way to the kitchen to find Julianna standing right by the door frame.

She was listening.

"You blame yourself?"

• • • • • •

Thanks for reading!