To love or not?

TAY'S POV

OMG. I feel so bad, I'm starting to get attracted to my best friend, Dixie. She's got a boyfriend! Why the fuck do I like her?! and my heart belongs to someone else right? I don't know. I like them both but I have to choose. Oh god, today's the first day after I admitted to myself that I like her. Ahh. How am I meant to act normal??! I already told her I felt a smol amount of attraction to her but I'm pretty sure she thinks of that as a joke.

Ok, first mistake: I told her I'm losing feelings for Lee and she asked who I like then? and before I opened my mouth she said " If it's me, I'll attack you everyday" I'm not afraid of the attacking, she's too sweet for that. Does she really not want me to like her?? Welp, can't control my feelings can I?

It's now the end of class and we're leaving and my first instinct is to jump in the puddle. God, why do I act like a 5 year old? Dixie tries to pull me away and I give in. Some time later she puts her hand on my back and..... and I love it. I keep leaning back into her soft touch. Fuck, she looks SOOO cutee ijdijfjsjd. Second mistake: she caught me looking at her and I looked away internal screaming. No way she thinks everything is fine. We were walking to HASS and it was extremely awkward. Our arms kept bumping and our hands touched and that sent electric shocks through me. (cue electric love). Heh, I have it bad don't I?

All of this makes me feel guilty even though me and Lee aren't dating and even if he actually likes me( I'm an overthinker and I keep doubting this) I don't want to hurt him but I also don't want to lie to him either if I end up completely lose feelings for Lee :/.

She caught me staring at her again! I'm pretty sure I've made it super obvious that somethings up but then again, she never asked..... mmmm I love it when her body grinds against me. Her big, brown puppy eyes make me melt gosh she has no business being that damn adorable. Don't get me started on her smile EEEE. SO. MUCH. CUTENESS. sighs. hmm.. im gonna faint. OMG OMG AHHH! SHE SO CUTE I was standing so close to her and when she started to freak out it the most adorable thing ever.

Dixie's POV

Tay's been acting so strange lately, I mean it could be her trying to feel better but it's just strange. I'm just worried I guess. I've kina told her this but I'm really attracted to her, she's just so... likeable, I get why Lee loves her so much. She's a catch for sure. no, bad Dixie, you have a boyfriend you can't fantasie about your friend! . Tay's so insecure and always doubting herself but she doesn't realise the power she has over people. Those people love her, they'd be lost without her, she's an angel with a light to guide them home. Those people include.. me.

Today she kept passing notes to me in class, dunno why but eh.

Ok something's definitely up with Tay, the whole day she's been acting so shy unlike her normal manner and she keeps looking at me and gets quiet when we're close. I-I don't her to have the wrong idea, I mean yeah I might like her but I have a... boyfriend, I don't think I could betray him like that even if she makes me feel so much happier. That's what she said once "If someone loves you they'd want you to be happy even if it means they're not with you." And I agree, lately James is getting a little possessive and he knows I'm pansexual and he hates how I spend more time with Tay than him.

I'm not gonna lie to myself, I like her hugs. Tay always wants a hug and I'm not a touchy person but today I let her and god it feels good. She's so small and warm and cuddly-. No, no no no no no. I can't be having feelings for her... can I? It's fine I have time tomorrow to figure it all out. hehe and get more hugs ARGH ./////.