Chapter Fifty-One

After, an all things considered, pleasant exchange during the morning you had some breakfast consisting mainly of fruits you've scavenged and headed back towards civilization. The girls, deciding they'd rather not deal with this hangover fell asleep while hugging each other and so it fell to you to take them back.

Holding them in your hands you flew over most of the country before arriving back at the familiar sight of your old flat. Vanishing you try to move as gently and as fast as possible to the door before fiddling around with it for about ten minutes. Turns out it's rather difficult to open a lock without any arms.

Luckily the door opens seemingly on its own and on the other side you see a familiar face.

Sam sizes you up after hearing your pathetic attempts at entering and lets out a little chuckle. "That's so typical. You got two girls spooning, neither with you."

"Just shut up and let me in!"

"Okay okay, no need to get violent."

Turning sideways you carefully maneuver inside so you don't bump Cauliflas or Kales head into anything and help them onto the couch where Kale continues to be the big spoon and holds her sister close. So cute.

"You're up unusually early." You comment as you slowly tear yourself away from the scene.

"Yeah well... Turns out once I don't have to stay up all night to study I can actually get rested pretty easily."

"How were the kids?"

"Oh they got knocked out pretty early. I let them use your bed."

"You didn't let them play anything... too inappropriate I hope."

"Nah. Played Tekken almost the entire night.

I saw them and decided to join." Sam then cracks his knuckles. "They tried so hard to beat me it was amusing!"

"You... could've let them win you know."

"Nah. Gotta show them a real mans world!

But to give credit where it's due they almost made me get serious! Quick learners. Good sports too. Where did you get three kids anyway?"

"I adop- err... saved! Two of them from the borg. The little one, Lyn is my err... daughter."

Sam looks up from his morning cup of quadruple espresso and raises an eyebrow at you. "Look it's not what it looks like! I mind melded with their hivemind and they... used that plus some of my DNA to make her."

"You knocked up a damn hivemind..." *siiiiip*

"Nice!"

"It's odd... I know. But I've grown attached to them. They are good kids."

"Uh-huh. So uh... When are you planning on leaving?"

"Why? Are we in the way? Don't tell me! You got someone coming over? Who's the unlucky girl?"

"Very funny Mr Kissless-Virgin. At least I lost my card a while ago."

"Yeah. To a hooker."

"Yes. And? Anyway... that's not why I'm asking."

"Then?"

"Could you errr... Could I come along? Kinda interested in Spess."

You look over at him and start questioning his judgment. "You sure about that? I mean I'm not against the idea buuut... Piss off the wrong guy there and you'll likely be a stain on the floor soon after."

"Yeah yeah-"

"No. I'm serious. Do not under ANY circumstances pick a fight with anyone.

And ESPECIALLY not the boss man itself! You'd do well if you remembered that."

"Purple cat-person, right?" You nod. "Gotcha."

After making sure to explain things to Sam you waited for everybody to wake up.

Meanwhile you had a little chat with your old friend.

"So... it won't be an issue if you just disappear for a while?"

"Nah. Don't got a job yet. And don't want to either. I just became a free man. I want to enjoy it a bit first."

"Cool." You turn your attention back to the TV just as the news pop on. In it you see a familiar figure who seems to have made his way back to Earth. "Shit... Cabba."

"You know him?"

"Yeah. Worked together a few times. Since when did he become a public figure like that?"

"The media got wind of the President regularly meeting with xenos. They had no choice but to show him to the world. Strange... You'd think after Frost people would have an issue with aliens..."

"Probably because he looks relatively human."

"Relatively? If I didn't know they are giant monkeys I wouldn't believe they are aliens."

"Trust me after a while you start noticing the differences. What's annoying is that they don't. Because us puny humans don't wander the stars yet."

"Makes sense."

Just as you are done with that you hear the door to your old room opening and three sleepy children walk out, rubbing their eyes.

"Good morning!" You greet them.

"Mornin'... YAAAAWN!"

"What's wrong? Not sleeping well?"

"We stayed up with... that person."

Sam grins. "It was exhausting."

"Yeah he does have that effect. Come, sit down! I'll make you some hot cocoa."

After serving the kids some hot drinks the girls wake up as well, having smelled the sugary goodness. And once everybody had their fills you had them all get prepped for the travel. The only question was... how?

It could be easy to give Cabba a call but... fuck that guy. Vados might be available but much like with the Supreme Kai you don't want to impose much on them. So you decide to try something potentially futile and dumb.

Extending your hands and throwing out the devils horns you start making circular motions with your hand in an attempt to create a portal leading to Champas.

But try as you might you can't do it, the distance is simply too great. Sam doesn't know what to make of this.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm concentrating so shut up! But it's not working."

"Why not try going for your planet?" Caulifla asks you.

"His wha-"

That... is not a bad idea actually. Changing destinations slightly you attempt to lock onto the tiny planet which is supposed to be "yours" and lo and behold the portal opens.

"Huh... it worked."

Motioning to the wormhole you ask everybody to pass on through. They all oblige, except Sam who is VERY reluctant. "Go on."

"I don't know man! This is not a Transporter, right? It doesn't rip me to atoms, right?"

"No. It's a fold in space with a hole punctured through. I use it often so come on!" With a pat on the back you shove him through and as he passes over the event horizon he screams incoherently.

Stepping through you spot your friend kneeling on the ground, covering his head and screaming incoherently much to the confusion of everyone present. Looking around you see the guys from Universe 9 gathering around to look at the man making a ruckus. "Oh hey guys! I see you moved in already!"

"Indeed." Hyssop answers. "Lady Vados was kind enough to inform us."

Hearing new voices Sam finally looks up and spots the truly alien looking guys.

Standing up he nervously cleans himself before throwing himself before Hop and kneeling down in front of her. "Oh almighty god! I bow before your greatness! Please don't smite your humble servant!"

While Hop does NOT know how to handle this, the others are having quite a great time as they giggle quietly. Looks like Sam didn't get it after all.

You try your best to suppress your laughter, you really do. But this is just too much.

With your barely contained laughter turning into a full on mad cackle you approach the poor fool and tap him on the shoulder.

"You can worship her all you like. I won't judge. But that's the wrong cat."

He looks up in confusion. "Wha-"

"And grovel less next time. It makes us look bad. Just a bow will suffice."

Not sure how to react to that Sam just stares at you in dumb confusion while Sorrel begins to tease her friend. "Hop got an admirer~!"

"Grrrrrr! Shut up!"

"So that's not the... purple cat person?"

"No. And just to be clear you're looking for a fat catman. Not a catgirl."

"Oh..." He looks up at Hop and nervously wiggles his fingers at her as he's unable to wave properly from the embarrassment.

"H-hey! I'm uh..."

"He's Sam. An Earthling like me."

The crowd starts to whistle and let out many impressed sounding "Oooooh"s. You are quick to correct them. "No, he's not as buff as I am.

In fact he's the weakest person on this planet right now."

"Aaaaah...."

"So please be nice with him. He's fragile."

Then you turn over to Sam. "And Sam... These are Hyssop, Hop and Sorrel. Those behind are Hyssops wife and son. As you can see they are aliens." You stop there. He doesn't need that extra information about them being from another universe. It'll be hard enough to process as is.

"H-Hey! It's really nice to meet'cha!"

"Greetings. Make sure you feel at home.

Any friend of Eric is a friend of ours." Hyssop shakes his hand.

"Wow! I'm making first contact with an alien!"

*ahem* You cough.

"S-Sorry. Second contact! But I'm glad my dumb friend made a good first impression!"

"We are deeply indebted to him. He saved us from certain doom."

"What?"

As the big ice man continues to exchange pleasantries with the little human Sorrel and Hop approach you. "Hey hey! We got you a present!" The excited bunny starts dragging you away. "Come come!"

They lead you a bit away from the crowd and you get to see the planet for yourself. It is lush and green, much like Champas own but with actual green plants as opposed to the ones with that blueish hue. Just from a quick look it's obvious that it's a very fertile land. Thanks Vados.

But that's not the gift, oh no. You spot something that stands out and it becomes immediately obvious what they did. "TA-DA!

We built you a house!" Sorrel says with pride.

And what a house it is. A rather sizable log house which could make any mountain man shed manly tears of joy just by looking at it.

Stepping inside you see that the place has been fully fitted with everything necessary. A fully functional bathroom and a kitchen, bedrooms both for you and the Tuffles, the latter one equipped with bunkbeds and an impressive living room. And to top it all off a fresh wood smell permeated the entire thing.

"This is... incredible!"

"You better appreciate it." Hop responds.

"I chipped a nail cutting the logs."

Walking inside you try to take it all in when you suddenly feel something. A new, unknown presence can be felt approaching your planet slowly. "Do... you guys expect any visitors?"

"No!"

Rushing out you look up at the sky to spot a small dot making its way to you. Once close enough the figure becomes visible but their appearance is obscured by some sort of a robe. They land in front of you as a crowd gathers around you and you get to see that... they are actually rather tiny. They barely even reach up to your kneecaps.

They raise a hand and speak in a voice that used to be feminine but clearly the years have taken a toll on her vocal cords. "Please... lower your hands... I come in peace!"

You consider accepting the request of this old lady but something bugs you about her and her sudden appearance. "Okay, obviously this is important for you if your willing to land next to The God Of Destruction's planet, but why my and not him? And just how did you get here for that matter? I was under the impression this place isn't the most accessible."

"Worry not... I will explain everything and it'll all make sense soon enough. But for now... let's just say that... it's not wise to ask anything from a destroyer which isn't... destroying things." She then pulls her cowl back to reveal a sort of fish person.

Quite unlike the guy from Universe 9 who looked like the creature from the black lagoon and more like an actual cross between a fish and a person but heavily leaning towards fish.

And your guess was correct as even through her alien physiology her age is showing.

Her skin though covered in scales is saggy and her soft underside is adorned by layers upon layers of wrinkles. Her eyes are sunken and carry large bags under them.

As her webbed hands are lowered you see them shake violently. "I... come from Planet Kanassa... and my planet is in grave danger...

I've come... to request your aid... mighty warrior."

She looks out of breath and heaving greatly, must be another effect of her advanced age.

And at least that does make some sense. You wouldn't ask Champa with something like that either.

This whole thing seems... suspicious to you.

"Okay I kinda get why you need me now.

Still doesn't explain how you knew about me, me being here or my affiliation with Champa!"

"Like I said... It'll all make sense soon.

My people bear a great gift. And with it we knew about our incoming doom... and our salvation." She takes a deep breath. "You see, us Kanassans we... we... WE CAN SEE DA FUUUUTURE!" *ahem* "Sorry... Don't know where that came from."

Ah. Now you understand... even less.

"We foresaw the destruction of our planet. But also who could... save it. You. I saw where I'd find you in the future, how I could get to you and how to avoid the detection of the Gods.

For it's predetermined that I'd seek you out."

"Okay. Let's say I believe that. Doesn't that mean I don't really have a choice in the matter? You know what I'll say anyway."

"It doesn't work like that... Those privy to the future are often... liable to altering it Or worse yet, bring it to fruition when they want nothing more than to avoid it."

You nod. That does seem to fit with what you've seen in movies. And so far the universe seems to have more in common with fiction rather than logic and reason. "Okay... Who are we talking about? Some big tyrant?"

You crack your knuckles. "Didn't realize it's Tuesday already."

"Not... quite."

"Hmmm?"

"The man threatening Kanassa is called... Rime. You should be... acquainted with him."

"What? I've never heard of the guy. Who is he?"

"The father of the one named Frost..."

Hearing that name causes something to... snap in you. Your bloodpressure skyrockets and you feel the veins in your eyes struggling from not exploding. "Frost... Frost? FROST?! FROOOOOOOOOOST!"

The elderly alien reels back in utter shock of your angry explosion. She can't help but remain silent until you regain enough composure to listen to her once more.

*ahem*

"Yes... Captain Rime... He is the leader of the notorious pangalactic pirates... They call themselves Absolute Zero... And unless stopped they'll surely wreak havoc on my dear, dear Kanassa... Please hero! You are the only hope of my people! Avenge them like you did your own planet! And slay Rime!"

"Where?! WHEN?!"

"E-Erm... At Kanassa like I said. And as soon as possible. We don't have much time! So? What do you say? Please! You must help!"

"Why didn't you just hire Hit? Pretty sure the guy is leagues better than I am." You ask the fish person.

"Hiring the greatest assassin in the universe would be too costly for us. And the vision specified you. Not him..."

Nodding in acknowledgement you turn towards the girls. "Caulifla! Kale! How do you feel about kicking space pirate butts?"

"Heh... Now you're speaking my language!"

"I-I'll also help!"

Turning back to the old lady you crack a smile.

"You heard them! We'll take it! I'll rip that guys head off for you!"

The old ladys expression turns grim for a moment. "Far be it from me to complain...

But the visions specified you alone. Bringing along those girls could have terrible consequences... I'd highly recommend leaving them behind buuuut... it's your decision."

"Sorry. I'm not superstitious! The girls come.

That is final. Take it or leave it."

She bows as much as her old back lets her.

"I did not wish to impose. If this is your decision then I'll honor it. You won't hear me complain any longer. Now... Shall we leave?"

"Yes. I assume you have a ship."

"Y-Yes. I have one of course! We'll reach Kanassa in an hour with it!"

"Good!" You turn to the Universe 9 folk and your kids. "Keep an eye on Sam while I'm gone. And if he does anything just tap him on the head. That should give him a light enough concussion. Or just spray some water in his eyes."

"HEY!"

After that you left the orbit of your planet and even the area around Champas domain where even space has air. Like through a bubble you burst out with an aura of Ki holding a pocket atmosphere around you. But the ladys ship is nowhere to be seen.

"Sooo.... where is it?"

"Here." She extends her hands and with some strange energies manages to conjure a transport that looks... nothing like you imagined it. Being aquatic, you expected their ships to have fins and other such things. But this one appears more spiky and a lot less organic than you thought. Looks hella cool though. "After you."

Entering through a hatch the three of you sit down while the old lady starts piloting the vessel. But after leaving the universal core she turns on the autopilot and speaks to you.

"Just so you know Rime has an armada of ships at his disposal as well as a small army consisting of tens of thousands of space pirates. And many of them are exceedingly strong."

"Yeah yeah-" Caulifla waves her off. "None of them are as strong as him though... otherwise he wouldn't keep them around as lackeys."

"Speaking from experience?" You grin at her.

"Yes. So shut up and listen to what I have to say. It might save your life. But not really. I know you can protect yourself."

True to the lady's word you arrive in about an hour as your ship quickly crawls to a halt.

Looking out the window it becomes readily apparent that you are too late.

"Oh nooooo! They are already here!"

You see an armada of flying saucers surrounding the planet and many, many people floating around them. "What are they doing?"

"Oh no! This is terrible!" She cries. "The Absolute Zero pirates are known to bombard planets that they can't plunder! And Kanassa being so poor-" She reaches for the controls.

"We must land without them noticing! If they see us they'll start shelling them!"

You sit back in your chair and look them over.

None of these supposed space pirates feel particularly strong, meaning they must be relying on blaster weapons to fight. They shouldn't put up much of a fight if you engage them. But if you do then... there is a very high chance they'll indeed bombard the planet and kill many innocents before you can clean them up. Down on the planet however you fell exactly one overwhelming power. One equal to Frosts, perhaps even greater. You can't be too sure from such a distance. Perhaps some strategy would be in order.

You turn to Caulifla and Kale. "Do you think you can handle those ships?" You point at the pirate fleet.

"Are you kidding me? We chew through tougher mooks as a hobby!"

"That's not what I mean. I don't doubt your abilities but I don't want them to attack the planet. Can you protect them?"

They exchange a quick nod. "Yeah."

You then turn to the old lady. "You don't have a problem with this I take it?"

"Nono! Certainly not! Do as you please!

But please do it quick!" She smiles.

Following that the girls make their way to the hatch and discuss their plan as the door behind them closes so the vacuum doesn't jettison all of you. "Okay Kale. Once we start running out of air we dive down and refresh our bubble."

"Just like in the simulation!"

"Yes! Good girl! Just like in the raid simulations!"

They jump out and waste no time wrecking the world of the Absolute Zero pirates.

Starting with the ships they punch, tear, blow off or otherwise tie their guns together like in a cartoon, rendering all ships defenseless.

Then they turn their attention to the men and start breaking some faces.

Meanwhile your "guide" makes planetfall with her ship while the armada is busy. Kicking down the door you step out and start looking for the power of Rime, which isn't particularly hard as it literally overshadows every other signal on the planet. "Great. Now that I know where he is it's time to go to work!"

Cracking your knuckles you prepare to take off but find a ki blast hitting the ground near you. Looking up you see a guy standing on a rock. Strange how you didn't notice him before despite his decent-ish energy level. Looks like these guys CAN surpass their energy levels after all.

He points a hand at you and shouts. "STOP OR I SHOOT!"

The old alien runs close to you as fast as her legs can carry her. "He must be one of the pirates! Quick! Dispatch him before he reports to Rime!" She points at the small alien. He looks like he's about to say something and it looks like he's already charging up a blast.

"I'm having a bad feeling about this..."

You mutter as you see the alien firing a ki blast from his hand. But there is something strange about it.

Extending your hand to the side you swat it away and start thinking about it. Why did he aim at her and not you? He did say "Stop or I shoot" and she did move while you didn't...

There is only one way to be certain.

"Heh... Shooting a helpless old lady? Yeap... that's the most pirate thing I can think of."

"You... You don't understand-"

That confirms it. Something is going on.

You try to read the guys mind real quick to see what's his deal but... you bump into quite a lot of resistance. His mind is like an impenetrable fort but... he's not the one who erected those defenses. No, it doesn't take any effort from him to keep that up. Somebody else did it. Finding nothing you turn your attention to the old lady next to you.

She's... just as formidable but in a completely different manner. Unlike the small alien up on the rock, she appears to have very active defenses that she's keeping up. And she notices your intrusion! SHIT!

She looks up at you and gives you a grim look.

"We Kanassans must protect our minds very carefully... If someone were to read our minds and access the future it'd have terrible consequences, wouldn't it? Especially if Rime has psychics at his disposal." She looks up at your opponent. "Isn't that right? You read his mind as well, didn't you? You know I speak the truth!"

"SHE'S LYING!" The tiny alien shouts.

"Oh? Then is it not your intention to make him go away? To let Kanassa be destroyed?"

He starts sweating. Looks like it's true.

"T-That's not it!"

"There you have it." The hag responds.

But you aren't convinced. "Lower your defenses so I can read your mind! Then I'll hear you out!"

"I... can't!" He points down. "BECAUSE OF HER!"

Well... this is going nowhere. "DO YOU DO YOU NOT WANT ME TO LEAVE?!" You ask him.

"Yes! You need to get out of here!" He responds.

Then you turn to her. "And you... Do you want me to KILL Rime?"

"Yes..." She then points up. "And he can tell you the same thing." The man bites his lips.

You seem to be at an impasse.

There is no real way out of this. It's like one of those old riddles, how do you tell which one you should trust? Luckily... this isn't some bullshit philosophy course. This is real life. Meaning there is ALWAYS another option.

And that is your forte.

Jumping up with a surge of power you wind up a punch and before the hostile little alien could react hit him in the stomach so hard his beady little eyes turn white and eventually close. Turning around you see the old woman sighing with relief.

"Thank goodness young man... you made the correct choice. Now... let us make our way to Rime... Don't worry, should he overpower you I'll boost your power and-"

But before she could finish you use a portal to quickly get behind her and karate chop her neck... Or at least you would've if she didn't vanish right before impact. Jerking your head around you look over your shoulder and up at the sky where she is floating, her cape fluttering in the wind.

"A pity... Looks like you chose death instead..."

"Oh? So he WAS telling the truth!"

"No... I was. You should've accepted my help.

Rime would've died then." A portal then opens up behind her but it's quite unlike yours. It has a much more... sinister glow to it with chaotic energies swirling inside. "I hope you'll enjoy laying in the bed you made."

Floating backwards she disappears in the vortex and the portal closes on its own.

Letting out an audible "Hmph" you walk over to the little guy and try to shake him awake.

He coughs up some fluid before he comes back to his senses and looks at you. But before he could say anything you point your open palm at his face.

"You better lower that barrier now!"

"C-Can't... The risk is too great. Can't expose myself to her."

"Okay... Then talk!"

"I... I need to make a call first! Then I'll try to explain things as best I can!"

He pulls out a scouter from his pocket and puts it on. Pressing the button he opens a comm channel. "The target escaped.... Yes I understand. I'm sorry. N-No please! Let me!"

He then promptly shuts the thing off and looks at you with a great deal of concern in his eyes. You don't know why but he seems to be genuinely disturbed by something."I'm sorry... this... this will sound strange I know. But I can't tell you much."

"You can start by telling me what the hell is going on here!"

"I can't. Not yet. Not to you." He shakes his head and then sighs. "I wanted you to leave but it's too late for that. So we'll have to do this. You must approach Rime-"

"Wait I though you wanted me to leave!"

"That was then. I called my superiors. They told me it's okay now... With her gone. Trust me, this'll make sense once you approach him. You must let him kill you-"

"I have... SEVERAL questions!"

"I know... but I can't answer them. Instead I must ask that you trust me! It'll make sense once you walk up to him! He'll ask you to shake his hand-"

"And it's a trap-"

"No... It's a genuine gesture. He'll tell you how he hated his son and wanted to thank you for it. But then he'll give you an ultimatum. Normally he'd corner you, saying you have three choices:

1: He kills you quickly and painlessly

2: He blows up the planet and you with it

3: You fight him and manage to stand up to him. Normally he'd have his men open fire on the planet and kill its populace. The third option is out of question now. Your friends work too fast... But whatever you do, he must kill you! Do you understand?! PLEASE! PROMISE ME! If he does as I said... you'll let him kill you!"

"What kinda batshit insane logic is this?"

He then hears his scouter ringing and picks it up. Carefully listening he nods as he apparently gets instructions before turning back to you and starts clearly reciting what he just heard. *ahem* "You just met fish people that can see the future. And this surprises you?"

That... is exactly the sentence that could convince you of something stupid like that.

"Okay, so. There is a big problem with your "Let Rime kill me" plan. Namely, that Lord Champa likes my food and there is a fairly large chance that the person who kills me and anyone they might have had tangetly had contact with for the past lifetime will end up on the wrong end of a Hakai. Not to mention that my girlfriends up there will blow a gasket!

So you better start explaining the fuck is going on OR ELSE!"

At that moment his scouter goes on once more but this time it's so loud even you can hear it. "OH FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! YOU'RE TERRIBLE! LET ME TALK TO HIM!" The little man does not argue, instead he meekly hands over the device without a word. You slap the thing on and the same female voice comes in.

"Hello?" You speak.

"Hey errr... you don't know me but I know you.

Look the situation is very delicate so I'll try to explain things as best I can. But understand that because you are so closely connected to the time stream every little bit of information I give to you could have unforeseen consequences-"

"The time stream? The fuck?"

"Your time-skip ability. It makes you experience time in a drastically different manner even if you don't realize it. She was planning on using you to change the flow of time and alter the future... The situation is dire but not unsalvageable. Things have already changed but if the correct events still transpire history can still settle into its course!"

"And... according to you seers I'll... die? Again?"

"Y-Yes... Originally Rime would make his way to Earth where your meeting would transpire.

He'd offer you a chance as a gesture... Your life in exchange for your planets safety.

You'd sacrifice yourself to spare the population of Earth from Rimes bombardment... or annihilation. Now that will likely never happen unless you leave now. But knowing how stubborn you are... that might not happen. Still if Rime kills you things should transpire as they should!"

"And what about the girls? Or Champa?"

"Not to worry... You wouldn't remain dead for long. By the time Champa hears about it you'd be back. And the girls... Well I can't tell much about them."

"Okay. So someone will resurrect me. The girls I assume. How long will it take? Days? Weeks? Months?"

"Minutes. You don't know the one who'll do it and they are prepped and ready. They are just waiting for you to die now."

"Will... will it hurt?"

"...If you let Rime kill you it won't. He'll do it quickly and painlessly."

"Can't say much about the girls? ...Wait! ARE YOU MY FUTURE DAUGHTER?!"

"What? NOOOOO!" She starts screaming in your ear. "HOW COULD YOU ASK SOMETHING SO STUPID AT A TIME LIKE THIS! THIS IS SERIOUS!"

"Sheesh... Okay okay. I'll cut it out. But seriously, you people expect me to believe any of this? You do realize I have no actual reason to trust you. Right?"

"I know it's a lot to take in and it's hard to believe. But trust me. Even if I lie there are plenty of people who'd do anything to bring you back. And don't worry. I assure you, you won't regret going along with this."

"Okay... I'll take your word for it. But you owe me."

She gulps. "O-Of course..." Then you hear her faintly muttering something to herself.

"What have I gotten myself into? Why can't his memories be erased like everyone elses? Stupid time-skip! B-But maybe he'll come here... OH GOSH THIS IS STILL ON-"

You then cut off the line and toss the scouter back to the dude. "Okay. I'm on board. Time to suicide myself... But tell me. Can I spare the Kanassans like I'd do Earth?"

He nods. "Probably. Rime is... not like his son."

"We'll see. Okay, you can fuck off now."

Just as you finish saying that a strange light engulf the tiny little alien and he disappears... into thin air. Not even a trace of his ki signature remains. Maybe there is something to this whole time people bullshit.

Making your way to the abnormal powerlevel you spot a bunch of armed men robbing the fish people at gun point. The locals seem to be finishing packing all their food and valuables into crates for the pirates to take.

"That's all?" The large frost demon who looks remarkably like Frost with a few key differences speaks up. He looks like a very stereotypical pirate with an eyepatch covering his left eye and his left arm replaced by a prosthetic, not a hook but a robotic hand which has talon like fingers. He scratches his chin as he looks over his "plunder". "You know... I usually can't decide which one I like when they resist or when they don't. But this time... you don't put up a fight, you don't have any goods to take... you're no fun."

"W-We're sorry sir but we don't have much! Our planet is poor and if we give any more food then we... we might starve to death!"

"Nonsense." The robust figure points a finger at them and charges up a death beam.

"Only half of you would starve to death, the other could then eat THEM! But I'm not a heartless monster. You may keep the rest of your stockpiles... But next time I'm expecting a more generous donation."

"N-Next time?"

"Yarr Cap'n!"

"Not now first mate-"

"But Cap'n! Tharr she blows!"

"Hmmm?" Rime turns around to spot you.

"My my my... you aren't one of the locals, are you? Who might you be?"

"Sup. I'm Eric son of Earth. Descendant of vikings and inheritor of the Berserker rage.

Also I'm the guy who trimmed your family tree."

"Aaaaaaaah! So you are the one! Thank space christ, I was getting so tired of plundering these backwater planets. I swear we are using up more supplies than we can replenish! That's usually not an issue."

"I heard you're looking for me so I came.

What do you want from me and... these people."

"Them? Nothing. But a man gotta eat."

"Yeah you're pirates, I get that. I don't really care. I'm more curious about myself."

"You see... I was looking for the man that killed my dear little boy... Because I want to shake your hand." He then extends his right arm for you.

"And why would I be so stupid as to take it?"

"Oh please... you of all people should know what my son was like if you killed him.

And I assure you... there is NOBODY in the universe who despised him more than I did!"

He points at his eye with his metallic hand.

"These were my... fathers day gifts from him. He maimed me... took my crew... my ships. Everything I had! I am grateful beyond words and my only regret is that I couldn't do it myself..."

You smirk and walk up to the man.

Taking his hand you give it a firm shake.

In turn he does the same, his grip is strong but not threatening and you don't exactly "feel" any malice coming from him.

"Then why do you want to kill me?"

"My my... what gave you that idea?"

"You don't need an army for just that!"

"True... But I don't like leaving my men alone.

Last time I did that I had mutiny... But you're correct. However not for the reason you think.

I meant what I said. I truly feel indebted to you. Under any other circumstance I'd offer you a very dignified position in my crew... or at least several planets worth of riches."

"And these circumstances are?"

He sighs and lets go of your hand. "Don't take it personally. This is just business. I don't care about Frost at all... However if word of this spreads... that some backwater hick can just come and kill a member of my family unpunished... Let's just say I don't want that. Because then they might get the idea that they can come after the people I actually care about. And I can't have that..."

He shows a surprising amount of rather complex emotions for being a cold hearted space lizard dictator of sorts. And still... you don't feel malice from him. Well not as much as you'd expect from a pirate.But he still wants to kill you. And he has no reservations about it. He might not like the idea but he'll do it in a heartbeat and won't loose any sleep from it. He is truly a seasoned and ruthless killer.

"However... I offer you a courtesy I don't extend so often. I'll give you a quick and painless death. How does that sound?"

"Pass. I'd rather kick the shit out of you to be honest."

"Oh I do not "fight" people." He points his finger down and charges up a glowing little sphere that you feel is capable of blowing up the entire planet. "I only deal in "murder" you see."

"So you'll kill yourself just to take me down?

Smart move."

"You don't get it. I don't need air to survive. The vacuum of space is fine. And while you might be able to get the upper hand do you really think you can stop me from ever dropping one of these? Come now... my offer is quite generous. I suggest you take it."

You look him in the eye and tell him this...

It doesn't sit well to pull out that card but it's worth a shot.

"You do realize I work for Champa right?

If you kill me he'll flip and take you out!"

Rime then slowly walks up to you streaking his chin. "That... is a risk I'm willing to take."

Oh fuck. "From what I heard... A destroyer can destroy your soul... Sounds preferable to Hell I'd say."

"Trust me. It isn't. But fine. You don't care. How about spreading the rumor that you hired me to take him out? For humiliating you in front of a destroyer TWICE?"

"Not a bad offer... but if I know about you... then so do others. It's too little too late."

"Okay. Fine then. Do it. But promise me you won't hurt Kanassa or Earth for that matter anymore! Leave!"

"That I can promise."

"Oh and I can't guarantee you'll live for more than a few minutes. Those guys up there, the ones that are just about done dismantling your fleet... they'll eat you alive."

He shrugs. "Like I said. I'm not afraid to die. I'm not doing this for myself..." Then he extends a finger and points it at your chest. "Are you ready? Don't wiggle or I'll miss."

You then grab his hand and adjust it so that he points square at your heart. Right before he fires you smirk at him. "See you in five min-"

PEW

You awaken in the afterlife shortly afterwards.

It feels like the laser piercing your chest was just a bad dream but no... this is definitely the place. Only something's different now. You look down and immediately see it. You still have your body where last time you were only a wisp. And you have a neat little halo to boot.

A blue ogre approaches you as he adjusts his glasses. "My oh my. This is rare."

"Erm... hi. What's going on?"

"You got to keep your body. Congratulations! Please follow me! We're going to King Enma!"

"Shouldn't I stay in the line?"

"Oh heavens no!" Skipping the line the ogre takes you down the lane of souls while explaining things. "You see exceptional individuals get a copy of their mortal bodies to move around in after they die. You must've been a great warrior or a very spiritually pure person to get this. This means you get to hang out in the other parts of the afterlife, not just Heaven or Hell. There you can mingle with other great figures like yourself and even the Kai."

"Okay... but why?"

"So the Kais and Supreme Kais can learn from you and make the universe a better place!"

Walking up to the big man himself you see the large blue devil stamping papers. "Next, strip... Next, strip... Next- Oh!" He spots you and adjusts his reading glasses. "Again? Already?" He shrugs. "Let's see here Eric, Eric... there we go." He stamps your paper then hands you a complimentary sundae. "There. Enjoy the afterlife-"

"Actually I'm not supposed to stay. Apparently someone-"

POOF

King Enmas eyes open wide in surprise.

"WHAT THE-" You reach above your head and your halo is gone. "IS DEATH A FUCKING JOKE TO YOU PEOPLE?!"

"Hey don't look at me, some bitch told me to kill my-"

POOF

"-self... Huh?" You look around and spot a familiar figure looking down at you, giving you an OK handsign.

"Your wish is granted." Porunga then disappears in a flash of light and his dragon balls scatter around Namek.

Sipping on your sundae you start to look around for the mysterious individual who resurrected you. What you find instead is... something unexpected.

"Hi. Welcome to the world of the living."

"Frost? Frost! FROOOOOOOOST!"

You ALMOST drop your sundae and start beating the lights out of this guy because you are fucking DONE with these people but a bunch of Namekians jump between you.

"Please! There is no need to be upset!"

They try desperately to calm you down.

Meanwhile the Frost Demon speaks up.

"Nonono. That'd be my douchebag little brother. I'm Hail. I'm the one that wished you back."

"Wait so you-"

"He cleared the trials and wished you back son of Earth!"

"Wut?"

"I heard what daddy dearest was planning to do to you. Sorry about that. I thought I'd make it up to you. Hopefully he'll get off your case now."

That's... a bit too much to take in right now.

Especially with everything else going on.

"N-Never mind that! I need to get back to Kanassa! The girls! They are still there! Probably fighting Rime!"

"O-Oh... I see. Well let me help you with that!

I got a ship ready to go! We'll get there in a few minutes!"