Runaway

Weeks have passed and the news that I am going to be a mom has finally settled in. I often find myself talking to my now little baby bump which is only really noticeable without clothes on. Every day there is a new attempt from Sebastian to talk to me. Whether it be him waiting outside one of my schools, my house, my friend's houses, my job or even going to church and trying to strike up a conversation there. So far I had managed to avoid speaking to him and for the main part seeing him if he was in his car and just about to get out of it when I was leaving wherever I was at that particular moment. Part of me wish he would just cease to exist because then life would be so much simpler. However, I know that is not how reality works. I cannot just wish away my problems.

"Hey Soph" I hear my name being called from behind me. Turning I see its Kyle jogging down the hallway I had just come down.

"Hey Kyle. What's up?" I ask watching him catch his breath from what I can only imagine was a short sprint.

"You-got any-vale-tines day-plans?" he asks still slightly out of breath.

"No, I was just going to go back to the house and relax after my shift at the market." I shift my books to my other hip. I had been slowly dodging Kyle's plans because what else am I supposed to do now that I am pregnant? With another man's baby!

"Why don't we go out. I have something special planned and I already talked with your mom about your new diet you seem to be on, so you don't have to worry. Just say you'll come okay." He puts on the biggest puppy dog eyes and pout a man his age could get away with and I am helpless to say anything but "OKAY" I relent. His expression immediately changes to a jovial one and I am left feeling bad for this unsuspecting fool.

Everything for the next couple of days seem to go by in a blur. School is one monotonous line of teachers giving out assignments. Work is an endless clean this, give this order here and home is safe until that is one day when I walk in to find that he's back.

"Where's the money bitch?!" He yells at my mother and for the first time I am hesitant to get in the way and help out my mom. For the first time its not just me in this body that I have to protect. Stalking quietly, I try to get past their partially open doorway to my room where I can lock myself away.

"I-I I don't have it Jimmy." My mom is already sobbing, and I can tell that he has already hit her. My stomach drops with guilt and shame that I managed to get myself in a position where I can no longer be of service to my mother. I can almost feel the smack I hear him give her and I wince at the pain she must be undergoing. Walking quickly to my room I try to shut out their voices as they continue their back and forth. Eventually, I hear the front door bang shut and I withdraw from my bedroom running over to my bleeding mother. Bruises forming all over her high cheek bones and arms from where he grabbed her, slapped her, and punched her. I help her off the floor and onto her bed before walking to the linen closet to get a washcloth to run under hot water to wipe away the blood, sweat, tears and snot from her.

She thanks me and I nod but all I can think is I should call 911. I'm eighteen now and I'm going to be a mom soon. I can't let my baby grow up in this household. I can't let my baby grow up in a household where he is free.

"I'm doing it this time mom. I'm calling them. This is too much." I say as I notice her wince as she breaths.

"No, ninita, no lo dice en serio. Estaba borracho y estaba asustado." She slowly declares around her wheezing.

"He is always drunk mom and what could he have possibly been scared of? You hurting him?" I scoff. "it doesn't matter. We need to get you to the ER you can have a broken rib." I state listening to her wheeze a bit more while wincing with every breath. She nods while telling me the story we will tell the ER staff and instead of fight with her I nod back.

***

Its been a few days since jimmy has been back around and since my mother has a fractured third and fourth rib, she's been staying at Derek's house to heal up. Leaving me and my brother alone with Jimmy whenever he decides to show up in the house. Both of us keeping a ten-foot distance from him as much as we can while Jimmy stumbles around the apartment looking for whatever it is that he wants at that moment.

By the time valentine's day rolls around I am so on edge I am willing to do just about anything to be out of the house and away from Jimmy. Who has every time I have been within arms distance of him has grabbed at me or swatted at me for no reason at all.

"Hey soph" Kyle startles me out of my reverie making me nearly jump out of my skin. "woah sorry" he starts back off with. "Just wanted to make sure we are still on for tonight." He grins before sliding into the seat next to me at the lunch table.

"Uhh yeah" I mumble still shaken from his sudden appearance beside me and my overall daily life at home.

"Great" Kyle's grin seems to grow so broad that it threatens to swallow his entire lower face. I take a good look at Kyle with his blondish brown silky curls that come down to just about where his chiseled chin ends. His strong jawline and striking blue eyes buried below his perfectly arched brows. I looked at his face clearly before looking again at his goofy grin his thin lips in comparison to Sebastian's plump ones. In comparison to Sebastian, Kyle was thin and lanky even though he was muscular. Kyle just didn't have the same maturity and grown out features I guess the decades or centuries that Sebastian had, had given him.

***

After work I find myself getting ready for my date with Kyle. Before leaving the house, I had stuffed a dress into my bag and put on some makeup. I figured I would let my hair stay in a high ponytail for the evening. Looking at myself in the only full-length mirror I admire my put together appearance. The midthigh velvet green dress and black fur lined leggings with my black heeled fur lined boots.

I leave the comfort and warmth of the job when I get a text from Kyle that he is outside in his mom's car which she loaned him for the evening. Outside I easily spot the vehicle and quickly get in trying to leave the frosty night behind me.

"Hey" I mindlessly say as I slip into the seat, closing the door behind me.

"Hey" he grins at me. Taking a long time to look me over making me feel a bit self-conscious in the process.

Glancing back over in his direction I question, "So, where are we headed to?"

"You will see." Is all he lets me know as he starts the car and exits his parking space. Fiddling with my thumbs the entire car ride I can't seem to squelch the uncertainty of this date. It is wrong of me to go out with someone who doesn't have the full information. At least the amount of information I can tell him without seeming crazy.

"Kyle, I need to tell you something." I blurt out unable to stand the silence and my own accusatory guilt.

"Of course, Soph you can tell me anything." He smiles at the road ahead.

"Kyle, I'm pregnant." I utter slowly so that the words can sink in for both of us while placing my hands on top of the ever growing baby bump. I watch carefully at Kyle's expression as it goes from one of cheer, to concern, to absolute devastation.

"How far along are you?" He gulps around the clear lump in his throat.

"A little over three months." I whisper not wanting him to figure out the exact time frame of it all.

"Is it his?" he murmurs not wanting to say his name as if doing so will conjure him.

"Yes" I say just as quietly not wanting to break the spell of the car while placing my hands firm baby bump growing in my lower belly. Pulling over in front of an Italian restaurant, my favorite Italian restaurant. Kyle exits the vehicle in silence. Take a second to breath in and out I go to open my door before realizing Kyle is already by my side getting it for me, like a gentleman would for his date. Firmly placing one hand on the car door while leaving the other on my slightly swollen belly. Once I am a few feet from the car I hear him slam the car door shut.

"Can I just ask you something?" He inquires as if he hadn't already been asking me questions the whole night.

"Of course," I turn back to look at him leaning against the door of the car.

"Are you going to tell him? To go back to him?" Kyle asks it almost deathly quietly that for a moment I believe I hear him wrong.

"No, to both!" I yell out instinctively after his wording hits me. "I do not plan on telling him about the baby or-" I am startled by a gasp before I hear the unmistakable "Principessa" Shocked that Sebastian has caught me so unawares I could kick myself for letting him know.

"Let's go, I just want to go please." I tell Kyle as I try to move towards the car but Sebastian's arm snakes around my stomach and lands on my bump.

"Oh, sei incinta mia" Sebastian mutters to himself as his hand sprawls out against the small but firm bump under my velvet dress.

"Let go of me!" I scream as I try to wriggle my way out. Seeing Kyle turn red with rage over the scene unfolding before him. Finally getting out Sebastian's hold I run straight to the car and am helped in by Kyle. Knowing I just want to get out of there Kyle runs around to the other side and gets in himself without making an added scene.

Driving me home we sit in uncomfortable silence. Until Kyle turns to me and says, "Runaway with me."

"What?" I sputter unable to believe my own ears.

"Runaway with me and let's raise the baby as our own. Sebastian doesn't need to know that the baby is his. We can let him believe it's ours." He starts off explaining as if it is that simple "I mean unless you want to undergo a legal child support case with Sebastian." I understand where Kyle is coming from but what he doesn't know is that Sebastian already knows this child is his. He knows that I have never slept with Kyle thanks to the dreamscape.

"We can't do that Kyle. I can't allow you to give up your life for me and my baby." I say as nicely as I can because I am just too tired to continue the conversation or any conversation tonight. Exiting the car as we pull up outside of my complex, I say my goodbyes and assure him that I will be alright.

***

"Principessa" I can hear him call me as if through a fog. Trying to fight it I sit bolt up only to find myself in Sebastian's room. There are a million twinkling lights and candles decorating the room with Sebastian standing forefront.

"What am I doing here Sebastian?" I hyperventilate as I feel the same sensations of the dream world around me but now knowing how it is a reality not understanding how I managed to get to where I am.

"I invited you to join me, amore mio, principessa." He states peppering me with compliments.

"How did I get too your room Sebastian?!" I ask starting to feel a little more hysterical.

"A part of you that is connected to me came through our world that only a few can traverse and came to me when I called out to you." He says soothingly like a father cooing to his scared child.

"NO!" I scream out banishing the room, him and everything from my view. I feel myself being sucked back as though I am in a vacuum being ripped from his room all the way back to mine. As if any part of me other than the baby can be connected to him or attracted to him. I hate him! I hate him! I hate him!

Waking up the next morning to a thud sound I jump out of bed as it I hear it again. It sounds like someone being slammed against the wall. Running out of my room and down the hallway I see my brother and Jimmy going at it with fists raised high beating on each other. My mother on the other side watching. Jimmy is slamming my brother up against the wall kicking his leg out from under him and then there it is.

SNAP

The unmistakable sound of my brother's leg breaking. Stefan crumples to the floor crying out in pain as I rush over to protect him from any more of Jimmy's hits. Jimmy however, has other thoughts, walking over to the nearby table and getting his bottle of whiskey in a celebratory drink while he dances around screaming "yeah, that's what you get when you fuck with the big dogs."

Too concerned with my brother's wellbeing as I hear my mother wailing in the background about her poor baby boy. I dig out my brother's phone from his back pocket. Its cracked but still functional and dial 911. An operator comes on and hearing the commotion asks me what my emergency is in a calm voice. "My brother has been hurt we need an ambulance, we live at" I give her my address and all the pertinent information. Hearing me on the phone though Jimmy starts to go from a jovial mood to getting belligerent insisting I get off the phone as he drinks more and more of his golden-brown liquor. Hearing the belligerent tone, the operator asks if I will also need police officers and I answer unhesitatingly with a resounding yes. It is too much no matter how badly Jimmy had been before he had never done something like this, never blatantly broken a bone. Never broke a bone until mom's ribs. This was deliberate and with all the domestic abuse over the years he deserves to be arrested.

Pretty soon we can hear the sirens coming towards the house and jimmy starts to swear under his breath pacing back and forth. As the sirens get closer Jimmy gets more and more anxious and his muttering becomes more unintelligible. Until suddenly he stops and runs out of the door before the cops and ambulance make it to us.

***

My mother and I sit in the waiting room of the ER worried after talking to the police. I informed them about what has been happening over the years and what happed to my mother. My mom finally relented and told the policemen what happened before I came out onto the scene. Apparently, my mom had come home to get more clothes for her at Derek's. Jimmy confronted her asking "Where have you been?" and when she told him he smacked her and called her a "slut." My brother who was up getting ready for his dancing job saw all this and must have decided for the first time to get involved. Normally he white knuckles it through the commotion and helps with the aftermath. Today though he decided to be a hero and suffered the consequences of it.

My poor brother what is he going to do? and why is it taking so long? The doctor had already done a physical examination of him to make sure it was just the break and now they had taken him in for an x-ray to see how bad it was and to make sure nothing else was fractured in the process of the fight.

The doctor starts to walk towards us and he has a grim expression on his face and my heart sinks. There has to be more than just a broken leg. There must have been internal bleeding or something. I think as the doctor finally approaches us and starts to talk about my brother's leg "The break is in two places and we will need to set it with pins. We will also have to put a cast on your sons leg for several months" the doctor drones on about my brother's prognosis and all I can think is Thank the heavens he is okay but what about his career? What is he going to do now? My brother has been dancing his entire life starting as a salsa dancer at the young age of 3 years old and then moving on to jazz and hip hop. He even took ballet for a few years to learn how to be more graceful in his movements. Part of me wishes I had been the one to take the blow instead of him but then I look down at my still barely showing bump and remember it's not just me I am caring for anymore.

***

Back at home my mother clucks over my brother like a nervous hen does over her chicks. Making sure he wants for nothing as if he is but a small child again. The days go by and there is no sign of Jimmy, but the police assure us they are on the hunt for him, looking high and low.

After visiting the doctor for a new sonogram appointment to make sure the baby is okay, I decide I am going to tell my mom about the pregnancy. Walking into the apartment with fresh sonogram pictures at the ready I find my mother's room basically destroyed. Her closet door and drawers strewn open with half her belongs everywhere. For a second, I think we have been robbed and quickly run to my room to see what damage has been done there, but when I get to my room it is exactly how I left it. Then I remember all the electronics in the living room were still where they belong and for a brief moment I start to panic. Running back to my mother's room I search the mess for a clue as to what has happened. When I spy a note tucked away under some clothing. It reads simply; I am sorry I can't do this anymore. You and Stefan are both adults now and can live your own lives away from Jimmy. A man I am sorry I ever brought into our lives. I hope that with me gone he will leave as well, and you and your brother can live the lives you always wished to live just like I will seek to live mine. Anger surges through me at the abandonment of my mother and a new untapped well of tears spring forth unbidden. Falling onto the sheet smudging her perfect handwriting. I crumple the piece of paper and shove it into my pocket along side the sonogram pictures with the sex of the baby.