Chapter 1: Hmm…

Life is, well, life. 

It wasn't something I wanted, but now that I have it, I never want to lose it. Don't get me wrong; I didn't like my life. Born to a mother who died at birth and a father who was a good father—what? You expected me to say he was a bad father? Abusive? An Alcoholic? Well, he wasn't.

He was a good man, and I really loved him. He could be really strict at times, but he was a good man; however, it was also because of him I never got to enjoy myself. He had no trust. He didn't trust the neighbors, my friend, me, or even himself. 

Due to this, I didn't get my first phone until—I am ranting. Like I was saying, I didn't like my life because I didn't have what I wanted the most. MONEY! My father, being a school teacher, could barely give me a luxurious life. Don't get me wrong, I am not ungrateful, but I wish I had more.

For money, I even gave up my dream to become a doctor. Well, it didn't work out. At the end of my first semester, I made the major my minor and got computer science as my major in my second semester. I expected it to be easier, but it was a punch to the gut when I realized everyone in my class was so experienced that they could create Siri in a weekend, so I dropped the major, made it my minor, and picked up math as my major. 

Why Math? I don't even know. So, that same semester, I switched back to computer science because I didn't have any other plans. So, like that, I crawled my way through college. On weekends, I couldn't go out to enjoy myself as I needed to fucking study, only to end up barely passing the exams or turning on the programming project in time. 

Those days were hell, but, thankfully, I had my best friend with me. Me, myself, and I. I was so sure I was ok with being alone that I didn't realize I became depressed. Was I depressed? Well, if you go online and look up 'signs of depression,' I had all those signs. 

However, I didn't feel depressed. I never did. Well, after graduating, my father smiled at me and said, "It's time I meet your mom." The next day, he committed suicide. 

"WHAT!" Was my exact reaction. 

What the fuck was that? 20 years!? He was depressed for 20 years!? He was just waiting for me to graduate to kill himself to meet my mom? How does that make sense!?

However, I moved on. I am a man with a motto; 'it is what it is.' 

I couldn't do anything about it, so I decided to move on. However, since that day, I have always wondered if I could love someone enough to die for them. Not I. 

I love my life too much. 

After the death of my father, I tried applying for jobs. Nothing. So, being the smart fucker I am, I became an indie game developer. I already had some experience in developing games—I made a chess game in college—so I was confident in this path.

So, I chose the easiest path. 'Gacha!' That's right, I decided on the most money-grabbing game for my first game creation. And it failed. That day, while sitting in front of my monitor screen with bags under my eyes, I realized. 

"I fucked up." I can't do shit! I graduated with my degree, but I know nothing! 

It confused me. I worked harder than most people, so why? But I already understood. 'This is life.' Life ain't fair. So, I became smart and slithered my way into a group of indie game developers. I assisted with the game they were creating, which is called 'Tower to Hell,' a roguelike single-player action role-playing game where you can create your character and basically descend on a tower to hell to save the world.

The game failed, and it wasn't because of me. I was in charge of the weapons codes and all that shit, and I did my job. No, everyone did their job; however, there was one thing missing. 

Gacha!

Ok, to be honest, the game failed because it was bad. I mean, it was the first game we all created, so it was bound to be bad. After they all abandoned the project, I took it, bought the rights and everything for 16 thousand dollars, and it became mine.

Why did I buy it? I found it fun. I loved the game, its system, the potion creation, the items, and especially the weapons I created. I was in love—not enough to die for it, though. Hell, no.

So, while working as a software engineer for a fast food chain known as Mickey and Donald's, I kept working on the game. It was the only fun I had. My only friend…

'Wait…' Where am I going with this? I forgot, how did I start this story? Was I supposed to tell my life story? Ah, fuck it, we ball.

So, I continued working on it. All by myself. I never published it and never planned on doing it. Just working on it was enough. From the age of 27 to 48, I continued working on it. 

One day, when I was testing my overpowered weapon on Lucifer Morningstar, I noticed my reflection on my screen. "Ah." Realization dawned. "I am a virgin."

That wasn't my thought then, but it might as well be. I was lonely. I had no friends. I work from home, so I only go out to shop or do other necessities. I had no maidens. And it wasn't that I was ugly.

No, I wasn't fit, but I wasn't overweight. I had belly fat, but I had a powerful arm, chest, and back. I wasn't ugly; I will say average. So, the only thing holding me back was my lifestyle. 

However, by the time I realized it, it was too late, because I had died!

Yep, anticlimactic. I died because I choked on the bone of a chicken, and the reason for my death was my love, Tower to Hell. I died because, how the fuck did I lose to Lucifer when I literally had a weapon that would one tap him? Make it make sense.

Well, it made sense because he fucking dodged all my attacks with the endless teleportation and 'reality warping' I gave him, but shit. I defeated him with a stick before, so how do I lose with a weapon literally named 'Lucifer Morningstar Killer?'

Well, you might be wondering: How the fuck are you telling me this story if you're dead?

"Well, that's because I found myself in a whole new world." 

I woke up the next second to find myself lying on an endless expanse of grass, staring up at the blue afternoon sky free of clouds, the grass swaying softly with the wind. 

I could smell the premium air and the scent of slightly wet grass. I could feel the soft breeze against my skin and the soft grass tickling my neck and arms. 

"Where am I?" I asked myself as I turned towards the horse that had been grazing on the grass beside me. "Of course you wouldn't know."

"Neigh…" It grunted, rolling its eyes.

"Well, fuck you too." I just told this bastard my whole life story and it wants to neigh at me? Who does bro think he is?

I sat up, staring at the endless green grassland, and not too far from me was a river. I stood and walked to the river, looking down at myself. "My body."

I am a half-caste. My father was a bunny hopper and he even killed himself for a snow bunny. Couldn't be me. Couldn't. Be. Me.

Well, I stood at 6'3" with brown skin, a bit on the darker end, broad shoulders, thick and bulky arms, notable counters of my biceps and triceps, pecks, a wide back, and a protruding belly. My face was 'meh' with a notable but not too pronounced jawline, a high cheekbone, a broader nose that has a smooth bridge, full lips, and wide eyes with blue iris. The only thing I got from my mother.

I was bald—balded during college and just shaved it all off—so it was reflecting on the sunlight like it had oil or something. 

Also, I was dressed in only boxers. The boxers I was wearing when I lost to Lucifer and died from choking on the bone.

"Hmm." Interesting. So, is this heaven? Too peaceful to be hell, and It's definitely not Earth since I died, so…

"Neeeigh!" The brown horse neighed, and turning to look, I found it chewing while staring me in the eyes. It then looked to the sky.

"You are right." I nodded. "This is another world." Why? Because of the big sign in the sky.

[Welcome to the world of 'DanMachi' Noah Ark Adam!] 

The message was on a massive rectangular screen with a platinum border and beautiful black writing. 

"Hmm…" That's right. My name is Noah Ark Adam. A name my father gave me, and a name I never questioned. 

"So, I died and came to another world." Sounds intriguing. "Next."

[Do you want to start a new game or die?] 

"Bro?" What kind of choice was that? Die? Fuck no, bro. "I would like to start a new game, please." I need to be polite. God might be watching. 

[Choose the character for the Tutorial]

Noah Ark Adam

Noah Ark Adam

Noah Ark Adam

"Hmm." A really hard choice. I need time to think… Ok, I have decided. "I pick Noah Ark, Adam."

[Noah Ark Adam is a basic character that starts in the 'Endless Sea of Green' with a boxer and a horse beside him.]

"Oh?" I looked at the horse that was grazing. "So it is part of my item?" Not to be distracted, I continued reading.

[This character's physical stats growth stats are at the highest, with extremely-low magic growth, and this character's charisma starts at the negative.]

Understandable.

[With this character, it would be quick to advance early in the game when solo play is easy. However, later on, when team play is needed, it would be near impossible to find a team.]

"…" I mean, it is correct, but "Near impossible?" Wow. 

[Would you like to play this character?]

"Yes."

[Noah Ark Adam has been chosen. Would you like to start the movement tutorial, or would you like to skip it?]

'Uh…' Let me see if I can walk. 'Oh, would you look at that?I can!' 

[The movement tutorial has been skipped and you have been rewarded; {Beginner Trouser}]

[Please open the inventory and equip it.]

"But, how do I do that?" A serious question.

*Tutorial: [Call out inventory, and it should appear. Afterward, click on the item you want to equip and equip it.]

"Oh." Simple enough. "Inventory."

A new screen suddenly appeared almost directly in front of my face. It was black with silver borders and ten boxes within the larger box, each with a silver border. In one of these boxes was what looked like a trouser. 

Above the inventory, a new screen appeared. 

[Note: Each box of inventory can take in anything of any size, as long as it is below 100 kg; however, only one item can be put in each box. The weight limit and the amount of items allowed in a box can be increased with certain items.]

'Hmm…' Interesting, I guess. But, how do I remove this screen? With that thought, it removed itself. 'Guess I can control it mentally.'

I 'mentally' scrolled down the screen, noting there was a total of 100, with five in each row and 20 in each column. So, quick math says I can hold a total of ten thousand kilograms of items if I put 100 kg of items in each box. That's good, I guess.

Mentally, I scrolled back to the top and clicked on the pants.

_____________________

Rhapso Beginner Trouser

Rank 3* (can be ignored)

Uncommon Pants

Requirements: None

Description: A highly comfortable trouser mass-produced and sewn by goddess Rhapso's own hands to aid adventures in their early journey.

+1 Endurance.

Enhancement: 0/9

Self-Maintain: Due to Rhapso enchantment, this trouser cleans itself of every filth every three hours. It also repairs itself back to its peak condition as long as 51% or more of this trouser remains.

Self-Fit: Due to Rhapso enchantment, this trouser changes its size to fit its wearer within a certain limit.

Rhapso Beginner Set (1/3)

2 Piece Bonus

Due to Rhapso enchantment, as long as the wearer has two or more of the "Rhapso Beginner Set" on, every 3 hours it cleans the wearer of all their filth, including their teeth, underarms, private, and every other part of the body.

3 Piece Bonus

Due to Rhapso enchantment, as long as the wearer has all of the "Rhapso Beginner Set" on, the user gains the following attributes:

+10 in all stats

[Equip/Bring out/Dismantle[Locked]]

_____________________

"Ah, the Rhapso Beginner Set." Now I understand. I am in my own game.

The Rhapso Beginner Set was a set I created, and in the beginner set, all characters get once the gain starts. I made it so that the early game wouldn't be too difficult due to the +10 in all stats, and it would be one of the best early game gears until you reach rank one. 

"No, this isn't my game." This was the world of DanMachi, whatever world this is, and the 2-piece bonus is different. The original bonus increases damage by 5%, but I guess in the real world, a damage increase by a percentage wouldn't make sense. 

The original also didn't have any abilities, and the equipment screen didn't have infinite durability, or even a durability meter. "I guess self-repair can technically count as 'infinity' durability." But, that posed a question.

'Am I in a real world?' Or in a game? Did the CIA strap me up to a meshing and put me in this world? I didn't know and I don't want to waste my brain power thinking about it.