An Apology

"You're angry," Timothy says, his brows furrowed but with a cautious look in his eyes, finally I see something, concern…it frustrated me even more.

"You're angry Cara…but not at me"

The endearment took me a moment to understand, then his words registered….I'm angry but not at him? What the fuck does he mean?

I don't feel so what he's saying right now is impossible.

"Why would I be angry?" I ask, my fists loosen and my breathing calms and I finally feel like myself again. Timothy smiles, it is full of pity, just like those policemen and my therapist, it made me annoyed, and disgusted but hey at least I was feeling something currently but not anger.

"Look at me" I didn't realize I wasn't, I raised my head, and shifted my gaze from his lips to his eyes…it gave me chills, why was he concerned? Why would he be-

"I'm sorry"

Why?

"I want to show you something, even though we're no friends…just this once and I promise I won't bother you for the rest of our trip" I have never wanted to avoid a person's gaze before today. His right hand was outstretched, he wanted me to take a hold of it and I hesitated.

I wondered what he was up to, what he wanted to show me. I tried to figure out his emotions but all I saw was concern, I still asked myself why a stranger would be concerned about me…he says he won't bother me for the rest of the trip, which would be nice, I wanted to crack his mask but I didn't like the way he made me feel out of control, maybe wanting to feel isn't worth it.

"What do you say?" His arm must hurt, I should put him out of his misery…so I told myself. I placed my hand in his, it swallowed mine and made me feel small. He was taller than me and it felt much more obvious standing this close to him.

I don't know why I was still staring into his eyes but I wasn't going to back down, I wanted him to look away first.

He chuckles and shakes his head like he just heard a funny joke. "You have very beautiful eyes Cara but they also scare me"

What the fuck does that mean?

"Tch!" I look away.

Screw it!

He's such a flirt, shit like that doesn't work on me but I commend him for trying. When he starts walking I follow behind him my hand still in his.

We walk past cars and people, he seemed to know where he was going as he didn't stop to even think, I began to wonder if he was a serial killer taking me to the slaughter…shit maybe that's why I couldn't figure out his emotions.

But then again, a man like Timothy couldn't even hurt a fly I'm sure, not just because of his weird ass dressing style but also because of the way he acts and smiles. A man like this probably hasn't even attended an open-casket burial.

"Don't worry, I'm not going to get you killed" he finally spoke, I thought he had turned dumb.

"That's the last thing I'm worried about when it comes to you, Timothy" I have a feeling that this was the first time I called him by his name. He turned to look at me, then he laughs like I had just told a silly joke.

"You don't think I might hurt you?" He asks, hand still holding mine but we had slowed down and he bumped into a man who was busy speaking curses but Timothy acted like the man was invisible. He was staring at me, waiting for a reply to his question.

"I don't think you would even hurt a fly"

He laughs, like actually laughs. It reaches his eyes and they tear up. His grip on my hand loosens as he places both hands on his knees and laughs his heart out.

Sure…keep laughing like a maniac, it's not like anyone's staring.

"Hey! I said you bumped into me!" the man with a white button-up shirt who we had bumped into earlier sounded angry even more when he saw Timothy laughing. He grabbed Timothy by his collar and raised him to a standing position. Timothy seemed surprised that the man would resort to such violence, the man moved both his hands and hit Timothy's shoulders with force. Timothy's legs were still planted firmly on the ground even though I was quite sure the man meant to push him to the ground. Timothy surprisingly had a good stance.

The man's fists clenched and he raised them to punch Timothy. I caught the punch and brought his hand behind his back and thoroughly enjoyed twisting it at a very wrong angle. He screamed like a girl, crying and begging…a far cry from the man he was a few seconds ago.

"Please…please…" he probably started begging after he realized he couldn't escape my grip. He probably underestimated me just like everyone else did because of my size. I looked into his eyes and gave him a polite smile, the one thing that the sisters spent years teaching me just so that the white-coated visitors that came around every month would like me.

"We apologize…" I pushed his hand further back making him cry out "…for bumping into you" I say and then let go of his hand rather forcefully. He falls to the ground and then quickly regains himself. Getting up and arranged his clothes. He glares, like really glares. Massages his wrists while glaring as well. Anyways, there was a lot of glaring.

"Do you forgive us?" I asked as it was very rude for him to be so quiet after I had just apologized to him. He has to at least tell me if he needed more confronting.

"I…." at first his voice was squeaky "I have already forgotten about it!" he says angrily. Something tells me he wanted to say more at that moment but when he looked down at his already bruising wrist and then at me, the look of determination in his eyes died out.

Scared….

He was scared.

I wasn't sure why but it was only after he had walked away that I noticed some people were standing still, staring at me…or rather at the scene I caused.

I looked at Timothy and he was staring back at me shock written all over his face.

"That…" he held my hand and resumed his old position next to me "…was the coolest thing I have ever witnessed!" he laughed, excited, and continued to drag me to where ever he was planning to take me.

He said what he just witnessed was cool and people stood around looking like I performed a magic trick. All I did was apologize the only way I know how…why was everyone on this train making it such a big deal?