As I shattered every memory across the floor

Previously:

"Chloe..?!"

~~~~~~

Now:

"I'm back."

I sat up, rubbing the sleep off of my eyes and stared at the girl standing at the foot of my bed.

"I can see that. ...Why? Why are you here..? Last i heard you were.." I trailed off, nervously picking the strings of my dress.

"I was adopted by an anonymous. Yeah.." Moving her gaze to the panoramic view of the garden, outside of the window.

Noticing my silence, she continued. " I'm sorry I didn't keep in contact with you, it just didn't cross my mind until now." She shrugged.

"It didn't cross your mind?" I said, obviously feeling hurt by the statement.

"Yeah. I didn't think it was important because we were going our separate ways. It's not like we were going to remember each other in our new lives. We move on from the past. You acting like i committed murder by the face you've giving me." She said, casually.

Move on from the past?

"Chloe, its been two years." I calmly said, tempting not to lash out on her.

Past.

"No shit. Want a cookie for your ability to count years?" She stifled a fake yawn, in attempt of mocking me. Chloe wasn't the one to swear, she would only swear when she's super angry. So seeing this peculiar behaviour intrigued me.What other rude features does she have hidden under her new demeanour?

Past.

"Great, you're aware of my features. Now, enlighten me. How could you possibly think we would forget each other in two years?" I said because I genuinely wanted to know how her stone-brick brain worked.

"Well...even you've got to admit that no one was going to adopt you because of your situation." She instantly threw at me, catching me off- guard. I mean, of course i knew but my own "best friend" saying this to me with no emotions or feelings to me, made me question if she really changed after two years. "Like who would want a basket case in their own homes? How would one prepare for that? There's nothing left to remember you by, only a broken girl that can't be fixed."

"That's what you think?"

"Think? I know." She said, smiling at the new message that came on her phone. "It wasn't important to me to keep in contact with you, than it was to you." Now fully engaged texting away on her phone.

I took every word in, trying to find solemn reason why she didn't want to talk to me. Why she is so keen on forgetting me.

"Well, It was really important to me." My voice croaked before i cleared my throat, not wanting to cry in-font of a stranger. "I texted you, Every. Day, waiting for you to text back. Hell i even called you, even though i know how much you hate people calling you unannounced. But i did it anyway because I wanted my best friend to tell me how her new life was going. So i can hear the pure happiness in her voice because this is what she deserves." I added.

"Could've found a new best friend. I don't know how because of your anx-"

"I wanted her to have the same carefree experience i had, before my two purposes left this world. The same on where she'd be laughing and spreading joy around the world because of her big heart and beautiful smile. The little fights or arguments you would have with your new siblings and get mad at eachother n not talk but it wouldn't matter because at the end of day you still love them regardless. I wanted to hear that. Or, the nightmares you have in the middle of night, being scared n wanting someone to comfort you. I wanted to be there for you, just like you were for me. But I couldn't." I said, peering at the silent girl who stood frozen, tightly gripping her phone.

Again, i almost broke. Instead i took in a deep breath, and said "I couldn't get through to you. No matter how many times i tried, the other end didn't cooperate with me. I would always ask myself..Did i do something wrong? Did i do something to piss you off? Did you hate me? I didn't get why you cut me off, all of a sudden. So I stopped trying to contact a person who didn't want to be found."

"But now i know, thanks to your confession-"

"You can't be blaming this on me." Chloe snapped, her eyes burning with fury as they gawked into mine.

"Who else am i going to blame, then? Me? For wanting this friendship to continue? Oh, god forbid Analia wanting her best friend back." I retorted back in the same tone.

"Definitely you. You can't seem to drop things and leave them alone, for fucking once.This is not even a big deal, you're just overacting..and to think that you were going to be happy with my arrival." She was now raising her voice in pure anger, with her nostrils flared. You could say you were intimidated if you saw Chloe this angry but i couldn't care less, I've seen this face so many times when she used to shout at the care workers in the home. She doesn't even have a right to be angry.

"Happy with your arrival?" I let out an amused laugh, she can't be serious. "I will be happy when my best friend actually shows up not this sad excuse of a human being."

Before i knew it, i felt a stinging pain on my cheek. I couldn't hear a thing because of how loud my ears were ringing. Tears welled up in my eyes but i refused to let them go in front of this bastard. Weak is not what she needs to see. She doesn't need another reason to insult me.

I met her brown eyes; no remorse or regret evident in them. Her lips moulded into a smirk as she watched the constant stinging turn into a bruise.

"So you decided to slap me because you thought violence was your answer..? Who are you Chloe?..You're obviously not the same person i met 3yrs so who are you?" i said, in a strained voice. I wanted to cry over and over again, this is not my best friend.

"People change."

"Unless there is a reason." I spat. "There's always a reason. What was yours?"

"It's none of your damn business!" She shouted, angrily. "Do you see me going into your business? No. So i don't see why you need to know mine." From her reaction, I know I've hit a nerve.

"Seeing that it is my god damn business since you didn't wanna keep our friendship going, how about you tell me your reason?" I spat. "Tell me the one, mighty reason you didn't want to keep in touch with me? The one holy reason that drew a line between us."

After a few minutes of silence, i spoke again. "So, you're not going to talk? Ok." I walked to dresser to find a hairband, to tie my hair into a bun. "Maybe you should slap me again, to get you talking."

Seeing that she wasn't going to respond, i closed my eyes and exhaled a shaky breath. "You know what? Leave and go find the reason why you hate me then come back to me. I'll be here for your vent then we can go back to being strangers." Quickly dismissing the touchy subject, walking towards the bathroom to get ready.

I entered the bathroom and turned the shower on, signalling that I wanted to be alone. I then slammed the door aggressively, careful not to break the frame and threw myself against it. The tears that were once threatening to spill were now rolling down my cheek, one after the other. What did i do to deserve this? Am i that annoying to others, that they would hate to be around me? Or talk to me? My parents left by force and my best friend left by choice. What did i do wrong? I pray to god, every day. I'm on my best behaviour most of the times. I'm nice to everyone so I can be on their good side. So what did i wrong, for Jocelyn, Gabriel and Chloe to hate me? I really don't know.

All i wanted to know, is how to stop hurting.

My nails dug into my skin, i watched the blood ooze out of my body, like it was trying to extract the immense pain i was feeling. I stabbed my nails even deeper, trying to feel something that wasn't worth feeling anymore.

My world is crumbling down and I can't even control it. Soon enough, God will hate me. I already hate myself for being me, wasn't that enough?

A knock emerged from the other side of the door, putting my actions on a halt. I wiped my tears quickly and fixed myself into an upright position, scared the person was going to see me vulnerable.

"It's me, Kelly. I Just wanted to let you know that the gang is here and breakfast is ready so come and eat, before it gets cold." She said enthusiastically. "Oh, and there some of my spare clothes you can wear, laid on your bed." She added, leaving the room.

Gang..? Who else is here besides Tim and Titan..? I shrugged my shoulders, answering my own questions from my head.

As i heard the door close, i look down at my arms that were now bloody and frail, in disgust. I quickly jumped up from my position and searched for waterproof plasters.

"Yessss!!" I celebrated, after finding the plasters and laid them on each wound. Silently thanking Kelly for interrupting before it got worse. I made my way to the shower and let the hot water hit my body. Mentally preparing myself for today's events.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Even though I'm in a bad mood I've got to admit that Kelly has some good fashion sense unlike Jocelyn, who constantly picked the wrong clothes for me that were 2 sizes smaller.

I gaped at my reflection in the mirror that wore an oversized pink ribbed sweater, tucked into the washed ripped jeans. Sadness was still apparent on my face, I needed to wipe it away incase someone knew about earlier's event. People don't need to know my business, especially if it had nothing to do with them.

I gave the mirror a sincere smile before leaving the room and closing the door. I chanted a silent prayer to God, asking him to watch over my soul as i feed myself to the lions. Step by step, my feet start to drag me downstairs slowly, to endure the humiliation that's waiting to happen.

I watched as the happy scene unfold as guests were talking amongst themselves. Everyone looked like they were in the element; with their loved ones catching up with each-other, telling them the latest gossip and intel in their life. It wasn't hard to spot Kelly, who sat in between her husband and the unfamiliar women who seemed to be good friends with her, noticing their close proximity as they watched something on her phone.

She was wearing a jet black jumpsuit, that perfectly hugged her, colour coding with her strapped heels. Her wavy hair practically had a mind of its own as it spouted along with the wind, as she talked. Stunning was an understatement at this point.

There were many people that occupied the dining table, there wasn't any space for me. I shrugged by shoulders, answering my thoughts out loud, it's not the first time I felt out of place. After hopelessly looking for no seats, my gaze went back to the happy couple, where i was met with Tim staring at me.

He slowly held an imaginary spoon with his righthand, pretending he was eating soup, and held it to his lips. I let out a quiet laugh at his crazy antics , not wanting to draw attention. If this guy was a mime artist, he wouldn't make it very far in his career. He then pointed his finger in my direction , in audibly asking me if have eaten. I shook my head as i watched him do a 'walking' action with his 2 fingers, indicating that i should go to the kitchen and grab some food. I returned the gesture with a thumbs up and made my way to the kitchen.

Heaven. The smell of freshly-made food filled the air instantly as soon as I stepped inside, I couldn't wait to eat this food over and over again. With no limits.

I swiftly made my way to the cabinets and gathered a plate and cup for myself, accidentally bumping into someone in the process. "Sorry, I didn't see you there." I turned around while adjusting the items in my hands.

"It's okay, I wasn't paying attention as-well so don't worry. I was too busy looking at something on my phone." The deep voice uttered.

"Just a pair of clumsy clutzaroos met by fate." I chuckled, casting my eyes off from the items to the boy in front of me. His light green eyes beamed in the sunlight, throwing me off guard. He had fair brown skin with a somewhat moustache above his lips. This guy is a player, 4 sho. "Damn, jokes are not the go for me."

He released a fake laugh, "You're not wrong. Anyways I'm Julez. Julez Smith." He stuck his hand out.

"I'm Analia Reed" I said, raising up my occupied hands for him to get the hint which he did as he drawed it back.

"Reed...sounds like a biker name." He said.

"Well thank god, I'm not one." I replied, walking towards the food and setting the items on the counter.

"You seem like a funny girl, can i have your number?" He said, following me around as i placed the food on my plate. I tilted my head to look at the boy. "Why you looking at me like that?"

"I'm trying to find a reason why you're moving too fast." I explained, returning my gaze back onto my food. "Do girls your age, practically fall on their knees when they hear you say that line?"

"No, they usually twirl their hair with their finger and try and make a conversation, which you're failing at." He said.

"It's a sign from god, telling you that you got the wrong girl."

"Nah, false." I turned my head to his direction and mirrored the previous head movements from earlier.

"Didn't know we're playing true and false now." I said, in a surprised manner. "Oh, jolly me! Oh, how i love this game." Clapping my hands , showing enthusiasm and then went back to choosing my food with a straight face.

"Okay, you sarcastic narwhal..let's play 21 questions." He declared.

"21 questions?"

"Yeah, the game."

"Why?"

"To get to know each other." He simply said.

"Why..?"

"That's how we become friends?" He said, sounding unsure to himself.

"Wh-"

"I swear to god Analia, if i hear another why, I'm not afraid to use that knife to murder you." He interrupted me as he pointed to the sharp knife that was used to cut the pineapple. "Even with the charges and everything, I'll still do it."

I let out a loud laugh, as i opened the fridge taking out the orange juice to pour in my cup. "Ok, let's play the game."

"How old are you?" He started off.

"Damn, just get into it like that. No rush." I said. "Young enough to be in a relationship."

"So...How young..?" He raised his eyebrow, sitting beside me on bar stools.

"Like 13 years young." I said while taking a mouthful of pancakes into my mouth, quietly thanking anyone in my head to who made this scrumptious cuisine. I heard the boy gasp loudly beside me. "What.? Hard to believe..?" I smiled smugly, this type of reaction always made me laugh.

"Um...YEAH!" He bellowed loudly, causing people to stop and look at us. I just smiled at them and turned to look at the boy who looked like a witness of murder.

"Calm down, julie boy." I ushered him.

"Julez, first of all." He glared at me, then continued. "I can't calm down, this type of information should be illegal to know." He added.

"Why..? How old did you think i was..?" I questioned him, taking a sip of my orange juice.

"16 or 17 at least." He responded.

"Damn.. julie boy I'm only born in 2008, chillax."

"2008...O-oh my go-God." He breathed out, fanning himself like he was too hot from this new information. "This is too much to handle." I laughed at his statement.

"Since you're still recovering, imma ask you a question. How old are you?"

"15." He said, nonchalantly.

"Expected."

"What are your favourite things to do?"

"Um..I guess watching the stars at midnight whenever i have the chance." I said. "Why do you have an amateur moustache?" I grimaced, looking at it again.

"The fuck do you mean amateur? The right adjective to use is fascinating work of masterpiece." He pretended to look offended while he brushed the hairball above his lips. Gross.

"I think your thesaurus was hijaked." I smiled, triumphantly.

"Anyways.." He started off, grabbing a piece of my pancake with his musty fingers. Hungry mf. "What is it that inspires you watch the stars at midnight?"

"My parents." He shot me a perplexed look, his eyebrows knit together as he continued eating my food. I shifted my gaze onto the food, shifting it around while trying to think of an answer to say without pity contributions.

"I used to watch them with my parents, every night when I couldn't sleep." I began saying. "My mom would sing me a song while I looked at the stars, to help me sleep. She always had this saying about stars, ' they are bright enough to delineate your talent but dim enough to show your truths.' Of course, I never really knew what she meant but that saying always stuck by me..I guess." I released an overwhelming sigh, talking about this always made me fear that i would forget her voice. That she would be angry that I didn't remember her, I wouldn't know how to regain forgiveness for that.

"So, what are you're favourite things to do?" I said, resting my head in my palm, now paying full attention since I've finished eating.

After a few seconds of him munching the fruits, that were placed on my plate, he finally answered. "Believe or not, basketball. I don't know what's in the air but basketball is like the most exciting activity i would love to be part of. I already know the basics like hesitation dribble, in-and-out dribble so it won't be that difficult for me to catchup. However, finding a team here in Bel Air will be."

"Why don't you play in your schools basketball team?"

"Please. My prestigious ass school is too formal to have a basketball team, they think its too strenuous." He said with a defeated sigh.

"Damn."

"Yeah." He said, knowingly.

"Hold up, can't you convince your parents to take you on a mini road trip since summer break is coming?" I said.

"They're too busy to spend time with me so that can't happen." He shrugged, thoughtlessly.

"Oh" I wasn't done thinking of ideas, there's no way I'm going to let him give up on his dreams. "How about you use social media to your advantage?"

"What do you mean?"

"You can post videos of you showing off your skills on Instagram or YouTube, then a coach.. from your favourite team i guess, can see the real potential you have, simple." I explained like it was the most easiest things in the world.

"That only happens in movies or in books, it'll never happen in real life."

"Well, some stars got to start somewhere." I gave him a reassuring squeeze on his shoulder. "Just don't give up, only quitters do that which you aren't. Keep reaching the goal you set yourself and don't let anything bring you down. Listen to your dreams and follow them, that's the beginning of your story. Trust the process" I smiled at the boy in-front of me.

"You know what?" He had the most childest grin planted on his face, like he was up to something.

"What?" I gave him a suspicious look. If this boy pours something on my head, he won't live to see tomorrow. Mark my words.

"You give pretty good advice despite your mysterious aura." Backhanded compliments at its finest.

"Mysterious aura?"

"Yeah, you have this mysterious aura that makes you intimidating and hard to approach but you seem like a sweetheart." Intimidating ? That's a new one. I've been called rude, selfish, weird but intimidating? I've never been called that.

"Seem like a sweetheart? I am a sweetheart." I joked, pushing my hair to the side dramatically causing a laugh to erupt from julez.

"Yes you are, my mistake" He smirked. "You're the number one sweetheart in bel air, that Angie helped."

"How did you know Angie helped me? I thought only Kelly and Tim knew." I said.

"Angie wanted auntie bb to take you in but she couldn't since she already had a lot in her hands and she was busy so she called my mom." He explained. "My mum was already unavailable so she suggested Kelly to take you in."

"Auntie bb?" I looked at him confused, I remember Angie that she had a best friend but she couldn't make it to her phone but I'm unaware of auntie bb. "Is that a name?"

"No, dumbass. Her name is be-"

"So i see you've met this delinquent." We both turned our heads to the direction of the familiar voice, I've heard before.

"Hello, Hayley." He sneered loudly, in return of her rudeness. They glared at eachother until Julez sighed in defeat and Halle smiled proudly.

"Hey Anz! Haven't seen you in a hot minute." She said, her attention shifting onto me while chewing her gum.

"Blame your sister.." I muttered so quietly, that only i could hear. At the corner of my eye, i could see Julez turn his head towards me but he didn't push to ask, which I appreciated.

"It's been a long time since I've seen you. How are you?" I said happily, pulling her into my embrace. Unlike Chloe, she was the one who was always happy to see me regardless of her isolated private life.

"I've been..uh okay, just been living and minding my business." She sounded unsure but I didn't question it, I'm not going to cause another argument today.

"You.? Minding your business?" I let out a loud gasp, with my hand placed on my chest playfully. "We have a huge problem here."

"And what might that be..?" She added, playing along.

"I seem to be talking to the wrong Halle. If you could get a hold of her, that would make me ecstatic and i can go on about my day." I gushed about Halle in the 3rd person, in a joking manner as i looked behind her for the missing person.

She slapped my shoulder and laughed out loud at my silly antics. "You asshole. Unfortunately this is the only Halle you're going to get, so appreciate her." She said, gesturing to her whole body as we laughed together.

I pulled her into another hug, wrapping my arms around her shoulders. "I missed you Halz, like alot alot. I'm really glad you're here, bug." I guess she felt the same because she only hugged me tighter. I placed a small kiss at the side of her head, protectively, in return.

Halle was only 2 years younger than me and the thought of her entering this cruel world, this young, through the unjustified system called adoption/ fostering truly scared me. I just wanted to protect her from the demons and tell her to only come out when it was safe. She was like my little sister and no words could describe how much love i had for her.

Not even 10 minutes went by and soft clapping was heard nearby. We pulled out of each others embrace and looked at the foolish boy, who made himself present.

"What a cute reunion. I wished i had an older sibling to do that with." He smiled.

"Aww, is Julez the smulez getting soft and mushy on us?" Halle said as went up to him and pinched his cheeks.

"No, I'm just saying you guys would be the best sister duo. A trio if Chloe was present." He retorted, swatting Halle's hands off his cheeks.

"Well funny you say, we were the troublemaker trio back in the ole' days. We used to pull pranks and do crazy random shit just to piss off the adults." I said, going back to my previous seat, now joined by Halle on my left.

"Yeah, we were crazy and stupid but it was a worthwhile activity to get shouted at." Halle smiled, remembering her wild early years.

The three of them fell into a light conversation, laughing occasionally at every dumb joke that Julez mentioned. Little did they know, a pair of teary-eyed brown orbs watched the whole interaction from afar, wishing she was part of it.