19. Chapter 19

Kate found herself riding with Hyacinth the next morning, keeping the promise she had made to the young girl the night before. Anthony had meant to come with them, but an estate matter had needed his attention, which was how Benedict had come to be dozing in his saddle next to Francesca, who had surprised them all by declaring her intention to join them. The girl in question pulled forward to ride next to Kate as Hyacinth pulled ahead and Benedict fell behind.

"Do you think I pushed him, he'd fall out of his seat?"

Kate glanced back at Benedict and smiled as he let out a small snore.

"He is rather useless as a chaperone." Francesca continued dryly, reminding Kate of the eldest Bridgerton as she quirked an eyebrow.

"In his defense, he didn't know he was joining us when he went to sleep last night." Kate told her. "Just as we didn't know you'd be joining us."

"I love being at Aubrey Hall," she replied, "but with the ton in residence, us younger ones get rather lost in the shuffle. As much as I enjoy your company, Miss Sharma, and that of Sleeping Beauty's back there – "

"I heard that."

Kate giggled as she glanced back at Benedict again, who still had his eyes closed, and Francesca rolled her eyes."

"As I was saying, I enjoy your company, but I really wanted to speak with Anthony, and this seemed the best opportunity." She continued. "Since I was already up and ready, I didn't think there was any reason to bow out."

"Well, I'm happy you could join us." Kate told her warmly. "And if there is anything I can help with, you have but to ask."

Francesca considered her for a moment.

"I'm concerned about my debut next season." She admitted finally. "Between Daphne last Season and her…hasty wedding to the Duke and now Eloise this Season, we haven't really had a normal Season. I suppose I am just feeling nervous."

"That is understandable, Miss Francesca." Kate assured her. "Would you like to hear what I told my own sister at the beginning of the Season?" Francesca nodded. "Figure out what you are look for and, once you know, don't forget. Don't let anyone sway you from what you know will make you happy. Only you know what that is, so I would suggest you spend the next year figuring it out."

Francesca seemed to consider her words.

"I want a love match for my sister." She continued. "I want her to be taken care of, to be valued as I value her. I'm sure Lord Bridgerton wants nothing less for you."

"And what do you want for yourself, Miss Sharma?" Francesca asked curiously.

"I think my answer to that question has changed since I arrived in England." Kate told her honestly. "And that would be my next piece of advice: just because you make a plan for your life, that doesn't mean it can't change. I still want my sister and mother to be taken care of, to be happy here, but I no longer doubt that my own happiness can also be found here. All I wanted was to see Edwina settled, see my mama provided for, but now I can see a different future for myself than I originally planned for myself."

"I want a love match as well." Francesca said softly. "I know that is the exception amongst the ton, not the norm, but – "

"If that is what you want, it doesn't matter what the ton thinks." Kate interrupted. "You have had an excellent example in love matches from within your own family and the only one who can stop you from finding one of your own is you."

"I hope you will be here next year to remind me." Francesca said with a small laugh. "I may need it."

"My plans are not quite fixed as of yet." Kate told her with a smile. "But, provided I am here, I will be happy to remind you."

Francesca smiled and group rode in silence for a while.

"Are you sure I can't push him?"

"Touch me, Frannie, and you will lose your hand."

Kate shook her head fondly, pulling ahead to join Hyacinth as the siblings continued to bicker. They continued to ride until it became evident that the rest of the festivities were beginning, and they returned to the chaotic bustle of the main house.

Once again, Mary and Edwina had already dressed and left their rooms by the time Kate was ready to go, so she quickly finished dressing and followed.

"Kate!"

She saw Daphne waving from a table where she sat with Edwina.

"Glad you could join us, Didi." Edwina teased Kate as she sat down, making her sister sneer playfully at her.

"Where is the Duke?" she asked the Duchess, who just shook her head fondly.

"With Anthony, preparing for the hunt. They're very excited."

"Is Lord Morrison going on the hunt?" Kate asked her sister with an arched brow.

"I do not believe so, but I don't know for sure." She replied nonchalantly, fooling neither of the other women.

"Simon!"

Kate winced as Daphne called to her husband loudly.

"You know, I think you and Eloise have more in common than either of you would like to admit." Kate told her as the men approached, making Daphne maturely stick her tongue out at her.

"Are you all set for the hunt, my love?" she asked her husband, leaning back to look up at him as he stood behind her.

Anthony took the seat next to Kate with a smile and Benedict glared at his brother before leaning on his chair, causing it to tip back slightly and Anthony to glare at him as he scrambled to catch himself, making Kate laugh.

"We're all set." Simon confirmed, ignoring the other men's antics.

"Did you know Kate is an excellent shot?" Edwina interjected suddenly, making the others stare at her. "She used to hunt with the Raja all the time!"

"You exaggerate, Bon." Kate said, blushing.

"You're being modest, Didi." Her sister replied dismissively.

"Eloise also shoots." Daphne said. "Much to the chagrin of our brothers."

"Eloise shoots straight on the field," Anthony protested, "but I think she would have trouble managing in the woods."

"Would you allow me to be there when you tell her that?" Benedict asked. "I've never witnessed a murder."

"And why would she have trouble?" Kate demanded. "Because she's a woman?"

"No." Anthony stuttered. "I did not say that."

"But you thought it." She shot back.

Benedict snorted, making Anthony glare at him again.

"Ladies do not hunt." He insisted, turning back to Kate.

"Do not or are not allowed to?" she pressed. "And clearly you are wrong, because I do hunt."

"I am certain we could spare a maid to act as chaperone." Benedict suggested innocently.

"Nonsense." Daphne interjected. "I will make an excellent chaperone."

They all stared at her.

"My love?" Simon blinked down at her in confusion.

"I obviously have no interest in shooting, but I think ridding along sounds like great fun." His wife told him. "Which means there is no reason to drag a poor maid along."

Kate grinned at her as the men looked resigned.

"Well, I suppose you will need to change." Edwina said happily. "I'm sure I will have a lovely time with mama."

As Kate rose to follow Daphne back inside, she couldn't help but feel that she had been manipulated, but she wasn't sure why. Deciding to let it go, she smiled at Edwina, who returned the smile brightly, and headed upstairs to change.

A little while later, Anthony found himself riding between Simon and Benedict as Kate and Daphne chatted behind them.

"If this goes poorly, I'm blaming your wife, Hastings." He said, glowering at his friend.

"I recall that I warned you that your sister couldn't be stopped from meddling." Simon shot back. "Besides, we're on your private lands, how much trouble could we get into?"

"Hastings, how's about a bet?" Benedict offered, leaning around Anthony. "Five pounds says Kate shoots Anthony before the day is over?"

"She's not going shoot me." His brother protested as Simon reached over to shake the younger Bridgerton's hand.

"You're betting on something!" Daphne called from behind them. "What is it about?"

"Just who will get the stag, Daph." Benedict called back with a wink to Simon, who laughed and pulled back to ride next to his wife, allowing Kate to take his place next to Anthony as Benedict pulled ahead.

"To the right, gents!" the guide called.

"Where are they going?" Kate questioned.

"Toward camp." Anthony explained. "We usually make it nearby."

"There are tracks leading off to the left." She pointed out. "Look, in the moss. You can see the cloven shape. If we go to our camp now, we may miss our quarry entirely."

"Let us stay with the group." Anthony replied with a hit of pleading. "If we find nothing, I shall offer myself up for your target practice."

"Do you promise to put a challenge, my Lord?"

Anthony gave her a sinful smile.

"I promise to do what ever you like, Miss Sharma. You have but to ask."

Kate's eyes locked with his.

"Be careful, Lord Bridgerton." She said lowly. "I might hold you to your words."

"I hope you do, Miss Sharma."

Isis snorted, breaking the moment, and Kate looked away, blushing, as Anthony cleared his throat.

"So…" he said eventually as they followed the group, "you hunted with the Raja as well?"

"I told you I was allowed quite a bit of freedom in India." She replied. "Besides, it was less the Raja and more his sister, Indira. The Rani adored hunting. She would go as often as her father allowed and the Raja and I always went with her."

There was a laugh from bind them and they turned to see Simon smiling, clearly besotted, as Daphne laughed.

"At least my sister is enjoying herself." Anthony said dryly.

"Far more than a maid would have, I'm sure." Kate pointed out.

"Here we are!"

"I should see to my other guests." Anthony said as the guide dismounted.

"Of course." Kate agreed easily. "I'll rejoin Daphne. I'll see you when we set out again."

Anthony nodded and paused to press a kiss to her hand before pushing Osiris forward as Kate pulled back to join the Duke and Duchess.

After camp was made, the hunters resumed on foot. Kate watched fondly as Anthony joked and laughed with Benedict and Simon.

"This is the most relaxed I think I've ever seen Anthony." Daphne commented as she and Kate trailed the men.

"It is a lovely day." Kate said. "Even if the stag does elude us!"

She raised her voice on the last part, making Anthony glanced back at her with a mock glare.

"We are enjoying the sunshine, Miss Sharma."

"Men out enjoying the sunshine." Kate said mockingly. "A sign of a great hunt."

Daphne shook her head and went to join her husband as Anthony waited for Kate to catch up.

"I suppose you prefer the darkness, my Lady?"

Kate sneered playfully at him.

"I prefer to follow my own instincts on this hunt, instead of following the guide. This is much too open."

They came to a sizable log in their path and Anthony held out his hand to help her over, but Kate ignored it, choosing to concentrate on lifting her skirt to ease her step. As the hem lifted higher, revealing the top of her stocking and all rational stopped in Anthony's head as his blood headed south. It was ridiculous. He had bedded many women, there was no reason for her bare thigh to affect him so, but here he was, wanting nothing more than to touch the smooth skin she had revealed.

He coughed, forcing himself to look anywhere but Kate.

"Yes, well…" he took a steadying breath, "perhaps you are right, but we should carry on. Certainly, there'll be other deer on other paths. They do not always keep together. And if there are not…Miss Sharma?"

She was gone.

Anthony spun in place, but Kate was gone. He looked to the group in front of him where Daphne, Simon, and Benedict chatted, unaware Kate was gone.

He should tell them, but he spotted tracks and knew which direction she had gone.

They'd be back before anyone realized they were gone.

Edwina was wandering aimlessly. She had sent Kate off so she wouldn't hover, but now she was alone. Her mama was off with Lady Danbury and Lady Bridgerton, clearly clinging to the wedding between Kate and Lord Bridgerton that would never happen.

And why would it have? It had been a nice fairytale, and she had been as guilty of indulging in it as the others, but really! She was the granddaughter of an Earl, the Diamond of the Season, and the Viscount hadn't even glanced in her direction. Kate had nothing to attract such a suitor, no connections or dowry. Clearly, Lord Bridgerton was simply amusing himself with her sister until he chose his true bride.

Kate would realize this soon; Edwina was sure of it. Her sister was unused to the attentions of men, but she was smart. She'd see what he was about by the end of the week and everything would return to normal when they returned to London. Kate herself had said he would never pick her.

Everything would be fine.

Edwina sighed and resigned herself to returning to her mother and enduring talk of Kate's nonexistent courtship. As she started back, she spotted one of the few men who hadn't gone on the hunt.

"Lord Morrison!"

The man in question turned at her call and smiled brightly.

"Miss Edwina. How nice to see you again!"

"You did not decide to join the hunt after all?" she asked as she joined him.

"I'm afraid I've had enough of hunting for the moment." He replied. "There was little to do on my estate, other than read and shoot, for the last year."

"Understandable." Edwina commiserated. "It was much the same when my father died. My sister did her best to keep me entertained, but sadness and boredom go hand in hand in my experience."

"Well said." The Earl replied. "But beyond that, had I accompanied the hunt, I would have been denied the pleasure of your company, which I find abhorrent."

Edwina smiled prettily as she had been taught and let him lead her to a nearby table.

"You are too kind, my Lord." She demurred. "I am sure us ladies are the true victors to have such a gentleman as your Lordship amongst us."

"Now you are too kind." He gave her a charming smile. "Where is your sister? Shouldn't she be attending you, protecting you from men such as me?"

Edwina smirked.

"What makes you think I need protection from men such as you, my Lord?" she asked innocently. "Surely you are honorable?"

"Of course, Miss." He replied with a matching smirk. "None safer."

Edwina settled back in her seat.

"Perfect."

Kate knew she should not have wandered off, but she saw the tracks and Anthony would not listen. And she had been right! The stag was right in front of her.

"Daphne is going to be put out that you abandoned her."

Kate threw an annoyed look over her shoulder at Anthony as he approached.

"Shh. Get down."

"Are you quite serious?" he marveled as he joined her. "You cannot go off like that with your gun. If something happens to you, my family will blame me and I could do with that headache, thank you very much!"

"Would you be quiet?!"

She reached up and grabbed his arm, pulling him down to kneel next to her.

"Seriously, are the rules meaningless to you?" he demanded.

"Not meaningless." She replied. "Pointless, maybe. English society is never going to care for me, so why should I be beholden to its rules?"

"I think you underestimate English society." Anthony told her. "I and my family hold you in great esteem."

Kate let her gun drop and smiled gently at him.

"I do not believe that you are the bastion of English society that you think you are but thank you."

"I am the perfect English gentleman, madam." Anthony shot back with a grin that made her laugh. "And while you may not like the rules, they are important to the society you find yourself in. And where's the fun in winning if you don't play by their rules, better than they do?"

"The rules here feel like shackles." Kate said with a sigh. "I feel like I have no control. I hate it, being told what I should do, who I should be, just to make people I hate like me."

"So do I." he assured her. "The key is to play by their rules until you have enough power to no longer have to play."

"Not all of us are lucky enough to be born into that kind of power." She pointed out.

Anthony caught her gaze and held it.

"That's not the only want to gain protection from power."

Kate didn't look away until there was snap and they both turned to see the stag moving in the distance. Kate pulled her gun back up and Anthony sighed.

"Will you at least allow me to help?" he asked, motioning to her stance.

"I know how to hold a gun." She told him dismissively.

"Evidently not a British gun."

Kate turned to stare at him.

"You mean the same guns Britain exports to India?" she asked sarcastically. "That everyone in India uses? That my father taught me to shoot with? Those guns?"

Anthony had the decency to blush and Kate smirked.

"Will you please allow me to offer some advice?" he asked in a long-suffering tone.

Kate sighed, but nodded, allowing him to move behind her…

And instantly realized just how bad of an idea it was as his arms wrapped around her. His hand brushed against her breast as he moved the butt of her gun to rest against her shoulder. His hand slipped down her arm to cover her hand around the trigger. His nose brushed against her ear and her eyes fluttered shut as he breathed in her scent.

There was a sound nearby and the couple sprang apart.

"There are you!" Daphne linked her arm with Kate's as she emerged from a thicket. "I was concerned. Where did you go?"

"I followed some tracks and became turned around." Kate told her. "Lord Bridgerton found me and led me back."

"Another incident of Anthony being kind?" Daphne mocked as her brother glared at her. "Well, I'm glad you're returned safe. The men seem to have lost their prey."

"It looks like rain as well, so we're considering returning to the house." Benedict added.

"Very well." Anthony agreed. "I'll inform the guide."

He took off as Benedict moved to the other side of Kate, sandwiching her between himself and his sister.

"Lost, huh?" he said with an arched brow. "Lucky Anthony found you."

Kate just glared at him.

Kate withdrew from the group as the day went on, choosing to read in her room as she watched the approaching storm with trepidation. She excused herself from dinner, claiming a headache, but as the house quieted, the thunder began, and she gave up hope for easy sleep. She needed something else to read. Lightning flashed again, with thunder on its heels, and Kate threw back her covers and grabbed a shawl before slipping out of the room.

The house was so dark and quiet but, instead of finding it disturbing, Kate found it comforting, as if she belonged there. Her single candle lit her way and she quickly found herself at the library. She remembered seeing a particular book the week before and set her candle on a nearby table before climbing a stood. She was intent on finding the particular volume when she heard the door open, making her jump.

"Lord Bridgerton!"

She had never seen him like this. He was in his shirt sleeves, with his suspenders hanging down, and he was pleasingly disheveled as he stood in the doorway, barefoot.

"I did not mean to startle you." He said with a small smile. "I saw a light and thought I might have left a candle lit."

"No, only me." She replied, returning the smile with a soft one of her own.

"Could you not sleep?" He stepped into the room, shutting the door behind him. "If your lodgings are not comfortable – "

"No!" She rushed to assure him, stepping down. "It's the storm. I find them…unsettling."

"I think you might be in the wrong country."

"India wasn't much better." She replied with a small laugh.

Anthony moved further into the room and Kate moved to join him. The lightning flashed and she flinched again.

"Why does it bother you?" he asked, leaning against the table as Kate sighed.

"For a long time, storms paralyzed me." She told him, leaning next to him. "I don't remember it really, but I'm told my Amma died during a violent storm. Appa used to read to me during the monsoons to distract me from my panic. Consequently, the storm now reminds me of him."

Anthony spotted the book her hand and gently took it from her, turning it over in his hands.

"This is still my father's library." He said softly. "These books were some of his most treasured possessions."

"Some of my most favorite memories are sitting in my Appa's lap as he read to me." Kate told him. "It seems our fathers had similar tastes in literature."

"If his daughter is anything to go by, I believe my father would have enjoyed your father's company." He said, making her smile. He held the book out to her. "I'm glad his books can lend you some measure of comfort."

"Thank you." She said softly, taking it back.

Lightning flashed and Kate flinched again. Anthony reached out and took her hand, threading his fingers through hers, squeezing it lightly.

"What do your mother and sister do to help?" he asked softly, and Kate shook her head.

"They don't know. Mary knows I used to have a problem and she was the one to tell me about my Amma after Appa died, but she thinks I've gotten over it. And it is better, so I don't see why she needs to worry. Edwina has never known."

"You didn't want to seem weak to them."

Kate looked away, but Anthony squeezed her hand again, lending her strength.

"After Appa died, they needed me to be strong." She whispered, knowing he would understand. "So, I made sure no one knew."

"Well, I know now." He told her gently. "You don't have to go through it alone any longer."

Kate didn't respond, she just leaned her head against his shoulder. After a moment, he rested his cheek against the top of her head, and they stood there in comfortable silence. There was another roll of thunder and Kate sighed.

"I should go." She told him softly. "If anyone found us here, I'd be ruined."

"Is that an argument for it or against?"

Kate shook her head at his cheeky grin and pulled away.

"Good night, Lord Bridgerton."

"Good night, Miss Sharma."