Messed Up

They were all lies.

Words tainted with poison struck his heart, and the fleshy organ threatened to stop beating.

She said that their love was messed up and she couldn't keep trying anymore. That what they had was no longer worth fighting for. In contrast, her head was telling her mouth to stop opening and spouting off words that she didn't even mean. That the look on his face was enough to make her chest tighten and her pulse race in self-hatred.

He didn't know how to make her see that what they had - or did have - was worth everything. And not something that could be given up easily.

He wanted to pick up the pieces of their shattered world and stick them back together, one jigsaw piece at a time.

She wanted to pull him close and snuggle into his warm embrace. And she wanted nothing more than to tell him the pretty words that made the smile on his face light up. The twinkle that shone in his eyes was enough to clear the bad stuff away.

☽

Tension could be felt as soon as she walked into the living room, and her parents didn't dare to look her in the eye. It might've pained her to see the awkward looks on their faces, even with hints of disgust, but she had grown used to it. Ever since the day that she had returned home without her twin brother, things had never been the same again. And her relationship with her parents had almost dwindled down into nothing.

She inwardly sighed and decided that today wasn't the day to sort things out with them. It wasn't just that they couldn't forgive her, it was also her who couldn't forgive herself. Why did she have the chance to live when her brother couldn't? It was something that would haunt her for the rest of her life.

Wiping the stray tears that had annoyingly escaped, she slipped on her shoes and exited the house once again.

Stopping at a bench that was a bit away from the busy streets, she sat on the edge of the wooden seat. Feeling around in her coat's pocket, she felt the cold metal against her skin.

Out of her pocket came a little bear that had once belonged to her brother. It was a replica of the one she had kept somewhere safe in her room. It twinkled in the streetlight that beamed down on her, and this time she let the tears that wanted to fall out.

As she was lost in the past, she didn't notice that someone had sat down beside her. Not until that said person cleared his throat and held out a handkerchief in her line of sight.

Coming back down to earth, she slowly turned her head to the side and saw the guy she had bumped into on the first day of school. Yeosang, wasn't it?

As she saw the look of concern on his face, her own one turned red in embarrassment. Twice she had made a fool of herself in front of him - not that it matters, seeing as they don't know each other. Yet, she felt drawn to him somehow and didn't want to humiliate herself further.

"Are you ok?" His voice was soft and wrapped about her like a warm blanket.

She could only nod her head and accept the piece of cloth he was still holding out to her. It was a creamy colour and seemed to be made of silk; there were also initials embroidered into it, KY.

Wiping her eyes, she noticed how he was patiently waiting by her side. It was calming having him next to her, and no words had to be said between them. For the first time, in a long time, she knew what it was like to have someone worry about her well-being. Even if that someone was a person she didn't even know all that well.

Despite that, his question stuck in her mind, and she seriously had to think about the answer.

Was she ok?

The answer was simple - No. And she hadn't been ok for a long time.