Self Reflection

[Vance's PoV]

"What is this? Where am I?"

When I opened my eyes, all I could see was darkness. Infinite darkness. This was a different place and I shouldn't be here.

"Hello, is anybody here?" I asked, my voice echoing and returning back to me, yet no other answer. Having already been through a lot of nightmare, I guess, I was not so scared anymore - or so I thought.

Out of options, I stood up and started walking in one direction. I walked for who knows how long but there was nothing in front of me. It seemed endless, so I decided to go in another direction, walked for a long time, and changed direction again, but this darkness was without an end.

'How long have I been walking for?'

When I was about to give up and take some rest, I felt like my feet were stuck and I was sinking.

"What's this? What's going on here?" Bewildered by this sudden event, I tried to make sense of what was happening but nothing made sense to me. I struggled to retract my feet out of this thing but it gave the opposite result.

I kept sinking lower and lower.

As I was flailing my arms, suddenly, the surroundings became bright red. Surprised by this, I looked around to see where I was and I realized I was drowning in blood - my own blood.

"Aaahhhhh, Aaaahhhh"

Witnessing this sight, I screamed instinctively. I was hurt. There was a huge cut on my stomach and blood was gushing out like a fountain. Panic clouded my mind as I furiously tried to stop the blood from flowing, putting my hands on the wound.

"Shit! Shit! Looks like that wolf got me. Did it take me back to its lair? But I still remember someone killing him with a long spear," Panic-stricken, I was still not able to make sense of anything and my memories seemed to be jumbled.

While I was trying to cover the wound, I noticed something strange, "It's not hurting. There's no pain."

The wound was not hurting at all. This new realization made my heart beat faster. After all, how can such a big wound not hurt at all?

I tried flailing my arms and moving my legs to get out of here but it seemed like my feet were stuck and I continued to sink at a slow pace.

There was a slight change in the surroundings once again. Black streaks of darkness started forming in the air, forming a visage of unknown.

"W-Wh-What are you?"

Yet the face of darkness was silent, just staring at me as if searching my soul. The hollow eyes seemed like an endless abyss, filled with nothingness.

"I-I am asking you again, who are you? How did you come here? More importantly, what is this place?" This was the only way to break the dreadful silence and distract me from the terrorizing thoughts forming in my mind.

"I-I-I…A-AMM…YOU…" A broken hoarse voice replied to my question, "I…AM…INSIDE…YOUUU."

Getting an answer from this strange darkness like a face when not expecting it was akin to getting poured cold water, the voice sent chills down my spine. Yet, his answer made no sense. He's me? He's inside me?

"What rubbish are you spouting? I never met you before" This was all I could say against a strange thing I knew nothing about.

"I A-AM JUST..A MANIFESTATION…OF YOUR EMOTIONS. THE EMOTIONS YOU FELT BEFORE GAVE BIRTH TO ME."

Somehow, the voice of the darkness was getting clear but what he said still didn't make any sense to me.

"When I was a child, I often used to dream about a person. Are you that person?" Maybe this was the actual identity of this darkness, I asked what came to my mind. Now that I think about it, I haven't dreamt about that person in a long time.

"NO, I AM NOT ANYONE"

As we continued to stare at each other in silence, the darkness continued to appear, more and more, into a human form but it was indistinguishable. That was when I felt something was not right.

'If I try to escape from here, I will not be pulled back, right?" I pondered over these thoughts, trying to make sense of everything going on and calming my own heart.

As things started to weigh down on me, I decided to close my eyes. It was because just looking at the strange human body gave me creeps, making my skin crawl and I would rather die with my eyes closed than see him again.

When I closed my eyes, I felt something staring at me and a strange coldness started surrounding me. It felt cold.

When I opened my eyes, it was gone.

* * *

"Mhmm"

Vance opened his eyes with these gurgly words. His pupils were still adjusting to the new light.

When his eyes finally adjusted to the view, a familiar ceiling came into his view, and a familiar sound of wood burning was heard in his ears.

'Am I finally awake? Has the nightmare ended?' Vance was still confused from the nightmare he had witnessed just now.

"Oh, you are finally awake, Van." He finally heard a familiar voice. An old man with a wrinkled face and white hair appeared on his side.

"You really scared me there," said Morgan, still terrified at the thought of nearly losing his son.

"Father, I am sorry."

That was all he could say at that moment. He couldn't recall how he had returned to his room. His head hurt and he felt dizzy.

"Oh, don't worry about that. You need some rest," after saying that, Morgan left the room. He didn't want to disturb Vance tonight because he already saw the fear on his son's face. He wanted to give him some time to rest and recover, so he can be normal again.

Upon regaining his focus, Vance checked himself and realized his entire body was soaked in a cold sweat. A chill crept up his back. His breathing seemed normal on the surface, but his heart kept pounding. His throat felt so dry and clammy that he thought it might crack into pieces at any second.

He went for the jar of water on the side and gulped it down in a single go. He kept drinking even when he choked. Only then, this sensation of returning alive from the abyss came washing over him. Honestly speaking, this was the first time he ever felt this afraid.

Vance just lay there on the bed and wordlessly stared at the ceiling. How much time went by? He didn't care. Was it already midnight? The faint rays of moonlight penetrated the window and made their way into this dark-lit room.

The thick and enduring silence continued. Vance's fearful and shocked eyes slowly closed into sleep until only a sliver of them remained open.

'Did I place too much blind faith in myself? Did I get too careless?'

It wasn't that he thought it would be an easy task but it was never supposed to be life-threatening. It was only supposed to be a little hard and he was confident to take the risk.

'Or maybe, I was too relaxed…'

But didn't he make preparations? No, he didn't. He didn't even do simple target practice. Does going on a mountain walk count as enough practice?

He thought up to here, and then….

'Was I too hasty….?'

….He completely closed his eyes shut.

The more he thought about the events of the day, the more of a fool he looked to himself.

He realized what kind of incompetent wastrel he was, not even able to defend himself against someone?

"You-you stupid idiot…."

He was frustrated and found it hard to endure this sense of shame. The memory of his leaking fluid from his bottom part due to fear still haunted him.

He stood right back up and gripped the jar of water the other way, and he poured the water over his head. The cooling liquid rained down from his head, rushed past his face, and wetted his upper body.

After a long time, he felt the whirlwind of boiling emotions deep inside the pit of his stomach was beginning to cool down just a tad.

Only then did he go to his bed and closed his eyes, drifting back to sleep.