APRIL FOOL'S KILLER (BOOK 1): APRIL KILLS FOOLS

LG narrates

1 April 2006

It seemed by all appearances that April was doomed to be taken advantage of and be abused endlessly with no way out. Little did they know April was an INTJ.

Consequently, April murdered her parents on her thirteenth birthday. She made it resemble a horrible freak accident.

April

In the wee hours of the morning, I woke up today on my thirteenth birthday. I inconspicuously shift one of the knobs to the on position of the stove. That simple action allows gas to fill up the air while the Mihells and Calamine the Calamities are comfortably in their slumber.

Fully aware of what is to follow. I exit the premises to play outside with my best friend, Mike, like I always do on the weekends, right before breakfast.

As I step out of the house, I break from my obedient little girl routine. I could feel the wind on my skin. Suddenly I felt free like the wind. My eyes leaked joyful tears as I yelled out the worst horrible people and things to ever have happened to me:

"Goodbye, the colossal pain in my 'butt and mouth' parents.

Goodbye Miss Calamine the calamities, the horrible witch who always finds a way to drug me so I can sustain more pain from my terrible parents.

Goodbye 13 chambers."

LG narrates

The details of the inevitable and suspenseful act of revenge occurred as such. As expected, Calamine woke up early to prepare breakfast for the family on a beautiful Saturday morning on April 1, 2006 - the day of inexplicable freedom and resurgence of life for April-Daisy Miguel. When she tried to turn on one of the burners on the stove, she heard the rumblings; it was already too late. Before she could say anything, the fiery flames of the explosion engulfed her and took her by force.

As the teenagers were playing in the Stevensvilles' yard, April's house went ablaze. Her parents and Calamine were consumed wholly by the fire.

April

At that moment, frozen in time. There, I remember my readings of Clarence Darrow and how familiar his quote, "The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children," truthfully feels.

The Mihells were going to throw another noir naissance bash, not a conventional birthday party, more like an April Fool's Party a la Halloween. Their favorite holiday. I saw the decorations. The clown outfits and scary creature masks.

This time around, the Mihells had planned to orchestrate their most elaborate mischievous trick ever, since it was going to be my thirteenth birthday and they had an affinity for the number "13".

They had been preparing nearly a year for the thirteenth birthday games. The evil things they had on the event schedule would top anything else they had executed on the previous ones. Hands down.

Things like taking my dignity on my first birthday as I had to walk naked to a room to get spit on by people endlessly. Giant spitballs were aimed at me. Landing all over my body. Hurting like hell and the evil laughs made it even worse. They took my self-esteem on my second birthday by having Calamine drug me while she undressed and prepped me for an older man in a farmer ensemble to fondle and spank me while telling me how ugly and disgusting, I was. On repeat.

They have taken my innocence on my third birthday. A man dressed like a priest touched my genitalia repeatedly while scolding me for the many ways I have sinned and that I would go to hell. My love for humanity on my fourth birthday. Calamine got me ready for a teacher's lesson on humanity that ended with me in chains, clothespins all over my body, including my mouth, ears, and genitalia for every answer I made wrong. All executed by a mean teacher. I was scared, in tears and in so much pain. I knew no one would come to save me. I had to endure the tortures for 13 hours.

They violated my trust on my fifth birthday. My patience on my sixth birthday. My spirit on my seventh birthday. My wellness on my eighth birthday. My kindness on my ninth birthday. A hand job with a twist on my tenth birthday. Two-hand jobs with a twist on my 11th birthday. My mouth virginity with a twist on my 12th birthday. All the while, I am drugged, strapped and bound by Calamine the Calamities.

My memories always take me back to my seventh birthday Mihells party. I was in my birthday suit, spread eagle exposed in the center of the dome. I was taken from behind and held by my neck. While an older man dressed as a rodeo cowboy forced his fingers inside of me. Another one was strangling me simultaneously. I was uber traumatized, even more traumatized than my fifth and my sixth birthday games combined. I was fighting for air, screaming soundlessly in pain.

Calamine was drugging me to keep me awake and not pass out from the pain. She was also applying some lubricant while holding my legs still. Two cowboys repeated it on me for 15 minutes of every hour to the hour for 13 hours. An audience of 100 or so was cheering and dictating to them what to do to me next with their fingers. Meanwhile, people in the audience were fucking each other, it seemed.

It was a little blurry, but I think most of them were in an orgy and others were just enjoying the twisted show. I was numb. I went somewhere else in my mind that day. I went somewhere peaceful, loving, and Mike was there. I went to that place every birthday after that.

The Mihells were monsters. On the other hand, their friends, who impart some of my misery while the Mihells up the ante with each birthday, were the object of every little girl's worst nightmare. During these parties, they would curse at me, yell at me, and use sheer force to make me obey their every command.

The Mihells were charred along with the Calamities, and I was totally fine with that. I was more than fine. I could finally be. I was not remorseful for what I had done. Not one bit. You know why? I kept reminding myself of the 13 hours of excruciating humiliation, torture, pain that I have received at their hands for 12 years. And they had no remorse.

I was not going to tell anyone about the cult or what my parents did to me, because that would only bring attention to what I had done. I also fully understand that the cult did not end with the death of my parents and Calamine. I had to play my cards just right. I ascertained that I had to stay under the radar. I had to stay close to Mike and his parents, they would keep me protected. I was uncertain of many things, but the Stevensvilles, I was completely sure about. They would never even let a mosquito bite me. Mike had my back!

LG narrates

At the somber Miguels' burial procession, a vow was made between Mike and April to support one another through the rough seasons of life and forever be each other's guardian angel. She thought to herself for a moment, how relieved she was that her wellsprings were both oxidized simultaneously. She was resolute that if one of them had survived the ordeal, she would have had to perform a deadly parentation spell.