A Box

She took a deep breath and knocked on the door. She was extremely nervous. It had been two months since she called things off. She hadn't seen Alex since she was now working at the sixth. She put off coming to get her stuff for as long as she could. She knew as soon as she saw him she was going to break down."Okay, Allie, whatever you do, don't cry."She felt her chest tighten. She honestly thought she would vomit right there on the front steps.She knocked again. If he didn't answer in the next thirty seconds, she was going to leave.As soon as she went to turn around, she heard the deadbolt open. Alex opened the door. He had nothing on but a towel. His hair and body were wet.Oh, for the love of fucking Christ, she thought.He looked terrific, as always. Allie had the overwhelming urge to rip off the towel and make love to him right there on his front steps.He looked genuinely shocked to see her."Allie? I didn't know you were coming by. Did I miss a memo or something?""I'm sorry if this is an inconvenient time. I knew if I scheduled something, I would have made myself sick waiting for it to happen. So, I was in the area, and I thought now is as good a time as any," she said."You were in the area? Why were you all the way out in Willoughby Hills?""I was in Beachwood at Ahuja..."He opened the screen door."Are you okay? Is something wrong?" he asked, sounding concerned.He stepped outside onto the front porch.She could smell him. The scent of his body wash, the smell of fabric softener from the fluffy white bath towel hugging his waist. Just standing next to him made her aroused. He had some kind of hold on her."No. No, I'm fine. I was just at the GYN. They like to keep an eye on the endometriosis.""Come in, please. Where are my manners? Mi Madre would not be happy with me."Allie stepped into the house. The feeling was warm and familiar. The scent of his cologne was hanging in the air."Why don't I put some clothes on," he said."I am just here to get my things. I won't be long.""So, is it really over? I thought as long as you hadn't picked up your things, there might be a small hope that we might—"She cut him off."Do you have a box? Something I can put my things in?" she asked."Sure. I'll be right back."He went down into the basement, and she went up to the bedroom.He already had her things put together in the corner on the chair."So much for taking my time while packing," she mumbled.She checked the drawers to make sure that he had found everything. She went to the side table. He had forgotten to empty it. She pulled out her things. She reached into the back to make sure it was completely empty. She felt something and pulled out a small black box. She opened it and found a beautiful marquise-shaped diamond engagement ring.She gasped and put her hand over his mouth."Oh, Alex."She felt a lump in her throat. Her eyes began to burn."Here, Allie, I found one. Everything should fit in..."He stopped cold in his tracks. She had found the ring.She looked up at him.He walked up to her and took it out of her hand. He handed her the box."Alex. I didn't know that you were...""No. I had it just... Well, I was thinking... You know, maybe you and I would... I put it in there because..." he stammered."Alex, it's okay. You don't have to explain."He put it in his sock drawer."Your things are on the chair," he said.He grabbed a pair of shorts and went off into the bathroom.She sat down on the bed. She slowly started to put the things from the side table into the box.He watched her pack her things. He had held so much hope. Hope is paralyzing. It keeps you from moving forward."You know as well as I do that this is a mistake. I'm sorry. I love you. I'm even more sorry that I told you. I'm not just losing the girl of my dreams but also my best friend.""I'm so sorry. I loved being with you. Spending time with you," she said.She looked down at her feet."Making love to you."He got down on his knees. He was face to face."One last time? Please? I want to make love to you. I want to take it slow. I want to cherish it.""Alex. You and I both know that is an awful idea," she said."Alexsandra, I feel like a man on death row. This is my last request."He leaned in to kiss her. He was prepared to have her pull back from him, but she didn't. She let him press his lips against hers. She wanted it, also to make love to him one last time. To feel him too, like he had said, cherish the moment. She had her eyes closed. Their lips parted. She put her forehead on his."One last time," she whispered."One last time," he whispered back.He stood up, and she stood with him. He slid his shorts off, and they fell to the floor. He unbuttoned her shirt, one button at a time, very slowly. The shirt fell off her shoulders. He unhooked her bra, exposing her breasts. He kissed her shoulder. His hands moved up and down her arms, feeling her soft skin. He kissed up her neck and the dimple behind her ear.She unbuttoned her jean shorts, and they fell to the floor. She stepped out of them and dropped her panties. She lay down on the bed. Alex climbed onto the bed with her and kissed her body, every inch from her forehead to her feet. He reached over to the side table and pulled out a small bottle of lube. It was cold. It tickled her as he dribbled some onto her. She giggled."I missed that sound," he said.He kissed her."I missed you, Allie.""I know. I missed you too.""These have been the two longest, hardest, most difficult months I have experienced in a long time," he said.He entered her slowly, their eyes locked intently on each other."You feel amazing."They made love for what felt like hours. One last time turned into two and ended as three by the time the sun came up.She got out of bed as quietly as she could and got dressed. She looked at him, sleeping. He was so beautiful. The night was perfect. They ended it on a perfect note.He didn't move. She dressed, grabbed the box off the floor, and went downstairs. She stopped in the dining room and looked around. She had great memories of them together in this house. She especially liked the one they made passionate love in the dining room. The thought of it made her smile. She left out the side door and locked it behind her.She stared at the house for a few minutes while sitting in her car in the driveway. She looked up at his bedroom window. He was standing there just looking at her. She couldn't see it, but he had started crying. He stood there, ring box in hand, watching her sit there."Come back inside, Allie, please. Come on. Just like the second day of your training, turn around and return to me."She sat there for a good two minutes, having an inner dialogue."Go back in. So, he said I love you. We can make it work. You let Shawn say it all the time. Yeah, and then he went and found someone who would, and you were heartbroken for an entire year. You know damn well that Alex would never do that. He loves you. I think he loves you more than Malibu did. Go back in. Tell him as long as he doesn't expect you to say I love you back, then we can try again. If you are going to do this, you better avoid running again. You know you love him too. And make it known the engagement can't happen, at least not anytime soon."She looked up at the window. Alex was gone."Maybe he went back to bed. I should go."Alex couldn't watch her sit there any longer. She wasn't coming back. He put the ring back in the drawer and made his way downstairs. He was leaning against the counter in the kitchen, drinking a glass of water. He heard the sound of the door handle rattling. He went over and stood in front of the door. Whoever it was was not going to be happy; they broke into his house.The door popped open, and he saw Allie's face through the opening.He smiled."You could have knocked.," he said."I thought you were upstairs sleeping.""How did you get the door open?""Library card," she said.She held up the card and smiled."Did you forget something, or are you just practicing your lock-picking skills?""I have a couple of conditions."She stepped into the kitchen."For what?"He took a drink of his water."When we get back together," she said.Alex choked on the water."I'm sorry. What did you say?""I was talking to myself in the car, and if we can come to an understanding, we might be able to make this work.""Are you serious?" he asked."You must understand that I will not say I love you anytime soon. And no proposals. I like necklaces and earrings if the urge to buy me jewelry should arise."He put the glass down on the counter."Are you fucking with me right now? Because my emotions can't take much more today."She stepped forward and saw the streaks on his cheeks."I made you cry?" she asked."The situation made me cry.""But you don't cry. You didn't even cry when your Abuela died.""There's a difference between losing someone and suffering the loss of someone. Can I say I love you? I know you won't say it back, but can I at least say it? Without you losing your shit?" he asked."Of course.""How about this? Have you ever seen the movie Ghost?" he asked.She just stood there, avoiding eye contact."OH MY GOD! Okay, I know what we are doing the next time we are together. So, when Molly told Sam I love you, he would say ditto. So why don't we come up with something you can say if you ever had the urge to say it.""I think I can handle that.""Oh, I got it. I say I love you, and you say Ooh-Rah till you're ready to say the real words. Or never say them. I don't mind."She hugged him. He kissed her on the head. She looked up at him, and he smiled at her."Ooh-Rah," she said."I love you too, baby. Do you want to watch a movie? Do you have somewhere to be?""I am off today. How about you?""I think I feel a cold coming on. I better call in sick. I would hate to spread anything around the department," he said. "I'm going to make a call, and then we crawl back into our bed and watch a movie.""Let me guess. Ghost?""You betcha'," he said, kissing her on the forehead. "Don't go anywhere. I will be right back.""I plan on staying right here," she said. "Mi Vida?""Yes, Cara Mia?""Can you make me something to eat?""Paella?""Yes. I would love that. If it's not too much trouble."He kissed her on the cheek."For you? Never.""How about some of your homemade cinnamon rolls too?""Now you're pushing it."He kissed her on the nose, smiled, and winked as he walked off to call work and let them know he couldn't make it in today and possibly tomorrow, too.