Grieving_Stage One: Shock & Denial

Jungkook POV

I just stood there. I couldn't believe what I had read. I was so shocked. I reread the last thing he wrote:

-Jimin (Taehyung's new husband)

I was so sad that I didn't move. He was really gone. All because of me. And he left because I wanted everything to be perfect. Of course he had every right to leave. If I put myself in his shoes, I would've thought I was cheating too. I mean, it all makes sense. I was so mad and frustrated. I wanted to go and find him but he said not to. All my feelings were mixing together and I needed to take a step back and evaluate what just happened. He'll come back. I just know it. But… he wouldn't just do this out of nowhere. Right? *sigh* I don't know what to do. Should I tell someone? Namjoon-hyung? Yuqi? The police? No. Jimin said not to. I love him. So I will do what he says.

I haven't been this sad since my mom died when I was little. It was really traumatic and sad. It still hurts just thinking about it. But that's how I found my passion. Music. I wrote a lot of songs about her, and that's how I became friends with Namjoon hyung.

We were in school together and I left class to go to the restroom. While I was gone, he hacked into my computer to see why I was "always" on it. Talk about privacy am I right? Anyways, I got mad at him for it but in return...he said he would help me with anything. He would stop whatever he was doing to come and help me. It could be music wise or just life itself. I agreed because I would get a new friend, and I knew one day he could come in handy. And that's how our friendship began. Silly story but, we're best friends now.

When I started writing songs I would always have a process on how to do it. My first step is thinking about who or what the song will be about. That one is easy. Jimin. Next, I think of words or sentences that express how I feel towards that person or thing. This usually isn't that hard but making it into song form is what I need help with from Namjoon hyung. I don't want to tell him about Jimin but, he knows when I'm hiding something. All I have to do is tell him that he can't do ANYTHING about it. I will do everything in my power to stop him if he tries to. I have to listen to Jimin. And if this is what he wanted to make him happy, then I will make sure that I keep him happy for as long as I can. I started thinking about some lyrics for the songs. I came up with some pretty good ones. I think they really expressed how I feel about Jimin.

"I'm sitting alone on the sofa where you used to be."

" I try closing my eyes and covering my ears, but the memories still come back to me."

" I'm still not over you, and only dust remains, as I wait for you."

" sitting here alone is a bigger torture as I try to escape, but I'm still looking for you again."

I haven't heard the door open from downstairs. My heart started racing. Has Jimin come back? I ran downstairs hoping to see the love of my life waiting for me at the door. I would apologize for everything and I would do anything to make it up to him. I got so excited that I almost face planted. I immediately got up and hurried to the door. I saw who it was in the look of disappointment swept across my face. It was Namjoon hyung. I put on a happy mask to not make him suspicious of me.

"Hey Kook! Long Time no see, eh?"He said coming towards me. He gave me a huge hug, and I barely responded to it. This set off a trigger in Joon's head because he immediately looked at me and asked what was wrong. I looked at him and there's a huge lump in my throat that started to form. I opened my mouth to say something, but nothing came out. I just started sobbing. I couldn't hold it in anymore. He asked why I was crying, but I just cried harder. He asked where Jimin was and I managed to say,

"G-gone...because of m-me." And I cried even more. I handed him the note that he gave me; and he read it. He immediately got up and grabbed his kids. I asked what he was doing and he said he was going down to the police station. I summed up all the energy that I had left in my body and told him, "No."

He looked at me with a stern look. He asked why and I just told him, "Because Jimin said not to." Then he replied with, "That doesn't matter, ok? He's out there somewhere and he could be getting hurt right now. So I don't care what you say I am going to go and tell the police because this is very serious. You are just in shock and denial because he left you, so I am leaving. You need to be a man and not listen to him and come with me to the police station. I don't care what you say, you are coming with me. Now."

I tried to get out of it but he wouldn't let me. I wouldn't get out because I refuse to, so he picked me up and we went out the door of my apartment. And then I stopped. I told him that I needed help with making a song. And then he froze. I asked him if he could help me make a song for Jimin to get me in a better state. And I kept begging until he gave in.

So then I showed him the lyrics that I came up with already and he said that it was a pretty good start. He also has some ideas because we talked about it, and we came up with a really good song. I just hope that wherever Jimin is now, that he knows that I still love him very much, and that I will come and save him very very soon.