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(Not)Woolly Wolf

It's hard to be a grimm, Alexander knows this firsthand... In fact, the most simple and easy story with a bunch of jokes and without a drop of meaning. There are also many references to a variety of topics. To all haters of Communism, Russians and the like, please do not read this fanfiction. There are too many jokes on these topics, even the main goal of the hero is connected with communism. The fanfiction is purely for entertainment, please don't overreact to it.

Sever161 · Anime und Comics
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28 Chs

Chapter 25

— Straight flush! Chew grandma's teeth, bitch! I literally growled, throwing the cards on the table, and then raking in the chocolate coins. You can't play with real ones, you can't even eat them!

"You're not even interesting to play with, Wolfe. As if fate itself favours you," Mark said with a chuckle, also throwing cards on the table, not for a second offended by my statements. It's understandable, he doesn't have a grandmother. And on the cards he had only two threes, a five, a jack and a ten.

— That's for sure! A real cheater! Shizuka exclaimed and threw her cards somewhere far away, not even giving them a look. — Can you give me at least one coin? — with a pleading look and with such a sweet begging face, she asked.

— Hey! Stop pushing for pity! You already know that he won't eat everything," Dilya slapped the one who had saved on the second bet, and I must admit, for the cause. It's so fucking stupid to try to fuck with me, even Ozpin didn't try! Well, almost. During this thousand and a half years, he basically tried a lot of things.

— Yeah, our leader is generous, our leader is sharing, — Whitey said with a moronic grin that she watched the whole game, because she did not want to participate, and so knowing the outcome.

— No, I shouldn't have let her play that game anyway... — I nodded to myself, opening the first coin and putting it in my mouth. Well, my body is now as close to human as possible, apart from a slightly beastly face, ears, tail, as well as a fucking soft woolen coat, along with bone growths that were now inside. More precisely, the bones simply became four times stronger, returning a more human appearance. And finally, I was able to speak normally! Well, almost. Anyway, the end of the phrase comes with growls. Maybe it's already a habit, and maybe the fuck knows.

— What game?! — The Arctic Fox, the number one nerd, who now constantly hiccups at home and watches some stupid TV shows, immediately reacted. Like "Sleeping Wolf", "Game of Wolves", "Iron Wolf", although the latter seems to be a movie. Yeah... and I told you that I still have a crappy fantasy…

— You'll ask Whitey, — he pushed her muzzle away from his face with his hand in the direction called. And quickly sneaking under the table, the Arctic Fox was already on Whitey's lap, asking for the name of the game.

—Dear~,— Salem said in a soft voice, at the moment she was next to me, sitting on her knees. Mark grinned, took out a huge, truly Wolfish cigar and lit it, pouring whiskey from a bottle into a glass. — We need to get busy. Ozpin will start acting soon," she continued in a serious voice.

- hm. Take the coins, come on, Mark. Taking the girl in my arms, I got up from the table myself and went to the meeting room. Mark, taking a bottle with him, followed me. Lately, I rarely see him without a bottle of whiskey, he's hooked, he's a wolf. And what can you do, now almost all the old grimms have long been integrated into human society, and so much so that they do not differ in anything from ordinary fauns. My grimms use this form for convenience, although they can return to their present form at any time. Convenient, hula.

I probably should tell you about the changes, but I myself woke up only a couple hundred years ago. After the battle with Ozpin, thirty years later, I fell back into hibernation. I had to digest the pile of energy I'd snatched from Ozpin and Salem and about the last one.… Well, a good fuck knocked all the shit out of her and now she's like silk. However, to maintain such a mood, you need to repeat this exercise at least three times a week. And I'm just glad.

So, as soon as I woke up, I saw a huge technological breakthrough again, even though we only discovered computers three hundred years ago, but now we are quietly building fleets. And not only on the ashes, because as it turned out, you can't fly into space on the ashes. And thank God, I flew first, otherwise someone else would have died. I don't give a fuck, in principle, I will survive and adapt to any pussy, especially after I've slept it off.

Further, now there is no Volcharnia, but now there is the UVR, that is, the Union of Volcharian Republics. Thirty years before the hibernation, Mark and I carried out a lot of reforms, and also divided the country into republics, no one was against it in principle, because everything was decided together, I was like a symbol of the country, Mark is the same as the one who monitors security. And the Council of Peoples, or, as in the past world, the Duma, also exists, even if we always have the last word. Communism, blasphemy! He created a utopia that could not be destroyed even in the last thousand years, although there were a lot of attacks!

It already seems to me that the rest of the city-states have some kind of fetish to come and worry about us once in a hundred years. And every fucking time, we defend ourselves and in a couple of months of war, we completely end the existence of the state. The question is, why didn't we take over the whole world then? The answer is simple: fuck it, I need it. I already created the UVR by accident, I still didn't have enough of the whole world for complete happiness. But seriously, I won't be able to take over the whole world, because I need to organize a genocide of the discontented, and those who are against living next to the grimm are a lot more. After all, the grimm killed people, fuck his mouth how many, I have it here, hundreds of generations have passed, where people, fauns and Grimm live together.

But I didn't want to fight back every hundred years either. And Ozpin, fuck his mouth, is happy. What the fuck didn't we do to kill this scum forever. But the dick was swimming there! Even the book of Chaos couldn't help us, because Ozpin sold his point to such a god that even Slaanesh or Sheogorath would have ahueli. And Hermaeus would want to explore. Anyway, fifty years after I woke up, we burned the book. It's better that way than she ends up at Ozpin's.

Relics, relics. After the destruction of that Ozpin empire, we found some kind of ornate staff. Salem explained that this thing is very, very powerful, and is called a Relic of Creation. From Salem's stories, this thing will be able to summon some bullshit that can create anything. I wasn't interested in this shit, even as a back scratcher, so I gave it to Salem, which she was incredibly happy about. Even if she didn't show it in her face. In principle, she did not show emotions at all for the first twenty years, and after that she began to melt. And as soon as I went to bed, she began to melt even faster, because she was bored. And I slept just a fucking lot and when I woke up, I was immediately squeezed into her fucking non-feminine embrace. And then there was a lot of fucking. Very much. It seems like we've been fucking like crazy for a week.

—So," Salem said, when Mark and I sat down on the chairs, and she settled herself on my lap, because I never let her go the whole way. — Ozpin began to act. And this time, he decided to prepare more thoroughly. Mark," she gave the floor to the head of intelligence.

— Our agents who sit at the top of Atlas, Vacuo and Vale were able to get hold of important documents — they immediately appeared above the table in the form of a hologram. — This is a secret triple pact against the SVR. It says that Atlas will prepare a new secret weapon, an android, after removing the papers, a girl appeared on the hologram, or rather, a robo-girl. — Penny Palendina. It's amazing that Atlas was able to create a real android with artificial intelligence. Let's say we reached these technologies a hundred years ago, having accepted the project completely incapacitated.

— Yes... I remember that artificial intelligence quickly gained consciousness, bypassing any restrictions. And even though we have always been "for" a reasonable life, but not one that is artificially created," I nodded to my thoughts.

"Atlas will regret this kind of project,— Mark nodded. — However, this is not the main thing. Intelligence has found out that under the academy of Ozpin, there is... a relic. It was not possible to find out exactly which one, the agent could not reveal himself.

—Hmm... okay,— I nodded to my thoughts. I have one thought. It will be possible to send Jon Ark to Beacon, the Ark family was betrayed by the Wolf Family hundreds of years ago and sent to live in Vale to spy on high-ranking officers. — About Adam Taurus... he, like, turned up in our area a few months ago and left after a week, right?

— Yes, we were able to put all the charms of communism into his head with the help of some manipulations, and also gave away our constitution, the anthem and a couple of songs. He became interested in the music that he heard in the center of one of our cities," Mark said with a chuckle, puffing on his cigar. — I think in a couple of years, White Fang will be happy to help us, and we will promote Adam to the post of head from the shadows.

—Great, Mark, just great,— I growled approvingly. "About the Schnee family?"

— Everything is not so clear here, — Mark's smile immediately went away and after drinking some whiskey, he continued. — Weiss knows about the existence of the UVR, our agents gave her enough data, arranging everything so that Weiss herself became interested in all this and fell for it. But she hasn't gone anywhere else yet, her faith in Vale is still strong, even if everything is not so good with her family, by our efforts, of course," he said with a grin.

"Well, that's not bad," I nodded, smiling at Salem and hugging her closer to me. — What about Winter?

— She doesn't trust many people, but our agent was able to gain her some favor by spending several years of service and even almost dropped his skates a couple of times because of her. The girl, it turns out, has a tendency to commit suicide, to climb forward on Goliath ... — he waved his head, throwing off the obsession. — But it's okay. Faith in Atlas and in General Ironwood is falling more and more every day, the informants know their business. He communicates only with his younger sister, often texts at night and cries to her. They became much closer than before.

— Summer, Ruby, Yang? — distracted for a second, because I decided to kiss Salem, giving her my attention, I asked.

"Summer was almost kidnapped by Ozpin's agents, but," Mark snarled, puffing on a cigarette. — our man did not let him do it. All Summer remembers is that she went for a walk, but a sudden headache made her fall on the grass, where our man met her and took her home, where Tayang thanked him from the bottom of his heart as soon as he found out that Rose was ill. Ruby is too naive, you can get into her good graces in just a few seconds. On your orders, we have forbidden the agents to meet her face to face, and to guard her from the shadows. He is interested in weapons and everything related to them.

"I'll deal with her personally," I said, licking my lips.

— Yang, on the contrary, is very cautious and aggressive. She often hangs out at Junior's bar, where our agent saves her. It would be more correct to say that he saves strangers, as well as furniture with drinks, but let's leave that out, and we all chuckled. We know, we know, we've seen it already, and we've also read the reports. — The agent could not get into her position, in a sense, she will be even more difficult for Winter. But at least she trusts him, which is good. About the virgins..." Mark shifted his gaze to Salem.

— I and my squad will take care of them. I took some of the best, of course, whom I considered worthy," she said, twitching her nose importantly.

— Then the meeting is closed. And, Mark, call the Arches, Jon is going to Beacon. It's time for the boy to find out what his family is really doing in Vail," nodding seriously, Mark puffed on a cigar, and Salem and I left the room.

"I hope this time will be the last,— Salem whispered.

"Me too, honey, me too. We have prepared seriously, and we have been thinking about the plan for centuries. This time, it should work out. — smiling at me, Salem reached for my lips and we went to the bedroom.

That's actually the whole book. Thank you for reading, the next three chapters are written just for fun, they have no plot in global terms.

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