Set 143

Blow Jobs

A market research by IMRB was conduct to know what is the best thing about a blow job. The results are as follows:

5% - the senual pleasure

5% - the feeling of dominance

90% - 2 minutes of silence!!

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High class brothel

About a month ago the President of the United States decided he had to get laid. Going to a high-class whorehouse, he found a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette waiting in the downstairs lounge.

"I'm the President of the United States," he said to the blonde. "How much will it cost me to spend a little time with you?"

"Three hundred dollars." was her answer.

To the redhead he posed the same question. She replied, "Five hundred dollars."

He made the same proposition to the brunette.

She replied, "Mr. President, if you can raise my skirt as high as my taxes, lower my panties as far as my wages, get your dick as hard as the times, keep it hard for as long as I have to wait in line at the store, keep me warmer than my apartment in the winter, and screw me like you do the public, believe me, Mr. President, it isn't going to cost you a dime!"

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How Hell Froze Over

A gay man went to heaven. Saint Peter was waiting for him at the Pearly Gates. After reviewing his records, Saint Peter decided to let him in. "Follow me," he said, opening the gate and walking in.

While walking, Saint Peter's keys accidentally fell on the ground. Unaware, he bent over to pick up the keys. That was something the gay man just couldn't resist, so he jumped on him and did his thing. Saint Peter was furious. "If you do that again, you'll go straight to hell! But follow me, we're almost there."

After some more walking, Peter dropped his keys again, and again, the gay man jumped on him. Saint Peter was even more furious than before, but decided to give the gay guy one last chance.

Again they start walking and for the third time Peter drops his keys, so he bends over and picks them up. The gay guy, having no self-control, jumps on him. Peter is now fed up and sends the gay guy straight to hell.

A few weeks later, Saint Peter goes down to hell for his routine inspection, but this time something is wrong: it's freezing, there is no fire or lava, and in one corner, he finds the devil lying under a stack of blankets freezing his butt off.

"Why is it so goddamn cold down here?" Pete asks.

"Well you just try bending down for firewood!" the devil replied.