Ochako the chaos gremlin

Ochako was a chaos gremlin, so forgive her if she enjoyed watching her classmates squirm. She wasn't cruel, she didn't want them to be really uncomfortable, but her favourite pastime was watching people have an internal crisis. She especially loved a good gay crisis. It made her wheeze how Kyoka tried not to look at Momo and be a respectful simp when the other was bending over.

But there was something even better than a gay crisis and that was what she called "a Midoriya crisis". She was the first to have that kind of crisis so she was the first that overcame it. And as the first victim, it was her privilege to see others fall like flies and try real hard to gather their bearings while she ate popcorn.

The thing was: Midoriya was hot and was completely oblivious to his charms. He was smart and funny and could bench press a fridge without much effort. He would sometimes casually talk about that time he cleaned a fucking beach by himself like it was no big deal he moved washingmachines every other days and fucking cars as a training exercise.

Midoriya was completely oblivious about his charms and watching other people fall all over themselves to try and come to terms with the fact that he was the sweetest being on Earth while also being able to throw people thrice his size and smart as all hell was. Fucking. Hilarious.

Tsuyu was probably the only one that Ochako knew that didn't experience any Midoriya crisis, and that was mostly because she was so blunt.

The lesbians™ experiencing one was hysterical to witness.

Kyoka had once started blushing hard because innocent Midoriya was panting, sweating and wiping out sweat with the hem of his shirt. With her quirk it was probably like he was gasping in her ears. The poor girl couldn't look Izuku in the eyes for a week.

Momo's crisis was triggered by her uncontrolled shopping spree of books and three boxes full of big ass tomes were delivered to UA's doorsteps. After being thoroughly checked for anything suspicious and being cleared, the boxes were left in front of the dorms. At that point Momo had called Ochako to come make them light, but as she was approaching she saw Izuku happily chatting about some complicated stuff about molecules and atoms, things she didn't understand.

"Oh, you need a hand taking these up to your room?" Midoriya had asked, all innocence.

"Oh, yeah, but Uraraka-chan can-" She couldn't finish the sentence because Izuku had hoisted all three boxes up. With one hand.

"I can help! Just let me read them when you're finished!" He had gushed, all enthusiasm and helpfulness, didn't even realise Momo was awestruck, blush rising on her cheek.

Uraraka was trying really hard not to laugh at her reaction and Izuku's obliviousness.

These two were particularly satisfying, but the guys gave her joy too. Kaminari had once discharged and fried his brain when Midoriya had raised the whole fucking fridge while full of stuff to let Ojiro grab his phone that had fell and went under. The electricity had hit Sero and Kirishima that were next to him on the sofa.

Poor Sato, who was busy cooking, dropped his spatula -thank gods only that, Ochako loved Izuku as her best friend, but she would have thrown hands if he had put any of Sato's baking in danger. Yes, she was a foodie, fight her.

On the other couch Shoji and Tokoyami had froze mid Uno game. The first had manifested 6 more eyes to watch the scene and Dark Shadow had manifested, cackling at his partner's expression.

Ochako had almost choked on her drink watching all of them trying to regain their composure. It was so funny.

The ones that gave her the most satisfaction, tho? Shinso and Todoroki.

These two were the best.

Todoroki was a poor deprived child so it was rather amusing watching him being confused as fuck the first time Izuku just lifted him like he weighted nothing during a mock rescue scenario. Poor baby had almost caught fire, a hand on his heart and face a mask of confusion.

She had snorted and told him he was welcome to come find her if he ever had questions. Todoroki had looked at her bewildered and completely lost.

It was during the girl's monthly slumber party that a light knock came to Ochako's door. She opened it to a clearly frustrated and confused Todoroki. She had smiled as big as she could and invited him in, ordering Mina and Hagakure off her bed and asking Momo to make her a clipboard and fake glasses.

They all complied, looking a bit confused and amused, as she made the boy lay down in her bed. She then put on glasses and took the clipboard, sitting primly on the chair she had made Kyoka vacate.

"Todoroki-kun, tell me what seems to be the problem." She said in a fake serious tone as she tried really hard not to smile.

"What are you doing Ochako-chan?" Asked Tsu, ribbiting quietly.

"I'm giving Todoroki therapy" She answered sagely and Mina burst out laughing.

"Is that your impression of a therapist?" Hagakure asked, wheezing.

"I'm a fantastic therapist, thank you very much." Ochako huffed. "Now Todoroki-kun, let's talk."

"I'm dying."

Momo sputtered.

"...why would you ever think that, Todoroki?" Ochako asked slowly.

"I mean, Kaminari and Sero say that google can answer anything and when I googled how I feel, Google told me I was dying."

Behind her Kyoka snorted and Mina started rolling on the floor.

"Oh, you sweet summer child."

What followed was a two hours long breakdown of relationships in general and the various feelings that came with them. A paper board was produced and standing in the middle of Ochako's room, pens in the girls' hands as they filled the paper with words and drawings. At some point Momo had left to get some tea and they were all drinking while Hagakure gestured animatedly and argued with Mina if they should explain to Todoroki the not safe for work consequences of liking someone. In the end, they broke out an anatomy book and Mina, Kyoka and Ochako had the time of their life traumatising the poor boy by teaching him about same sex intercourses.

Tsu had to put her foot down to not go into too much detail as Todoroki had by now froze his tea and was smoking slightly.

What could she say, Ochako was a chaos gremlin, so watching the most stoic guy in class blush so hard even his ears gained colour and how he was losing control of his quirk gave her so much entertainment. She noted that Mina was recording his reaction while trying to stifle laughter.

She had to remember to ask her to send the video to her too.

*

Where Todoroki fell so hard and fast he probably left imprints of himself on campus, Shinso was much slower and subtle.

Still, it was obvious to Ochako, since she considered herself an expert in noticing when someone was questioning their sexuality, especially when pure, innocent, olivious Midoriya was involved. She knew from the moment she saw Deku-kun light up and hop towards the tired boy while they were heading to the cafeteria. Poor Shinso had froze like a deer in the headlight and had to take a moment to recollect himself while the energetic green headed boy enthusiastically asked him if he wanted to come eat at their table and asked him all the questions a mother would ask, like "are you sleeping right? You look a bit pale...oh, let's get some food in you!" Before dragging the confused boy with him towards Lunch Rush. Ochako had smirked as she saw Shinso's neck start blushing.

"Deku-kun has claimed another victim" She told Tsu, smiling with way too many teeth.

She greatly enjoyed his reactions too, even if she was a bit worried with how he was clearly falling head over heels for Midoriya when Todoroki was clearly already pining hard...actually, they all seemed to go along well, maybe they'll be able to solve things without broken hearts? While she enjoyed seeing people struggle over small inconsequential things and feelings, she wasn't cruel.

Still she could appreciate the way Shinso kept his face completely blank and his answers as sarcastic as always but his neck and ears would blush when he talked with Deku and how the scenes she could watch while eating popcorn like she was watching a movie multiplied exponentially since the insomniac moved in their dorms.

She had to stifle laughter so much Kyoka

had become curious and Ochako, the magnanimous girl she was, invited her to watch Shinso's useless battle against the other's charm. Soon enough, all the girls were on it and would silently group in a place near the pair and snicker between them as Shinso's neck slowly became redder and redder as sweet, innocent Deku-kun did something to show how intelligent and strong he was.

"He's blushing, he's blushing" Hagakure would squeal.

"And over a collarbone. Who is he, a gentleman from the Victorian era?" Kyoka would snark while eating chips.

"He's trying so hard to keep his cool, it's adorable." Mina would coo.

As they enjoyed the show, a betting pool started on who would confess first to Midoriya between Todoroki and Shinso. Ochako's money was on Todoroki, he was as blunt as Tsu, and a lot less socially aware, that made him even more prone to blurt his love out in an absolutely inappropriate place. She really hoped it would happen soon, preferably in a public place when she was present and near enough to listen and watch...and if she planned on filming the whole thing and use it as blackmail it was nobody's business.

*

When Deku fell, he made sure to hit every branch on the way down. Ochako had watched in fascination as he scrambled to understand his feelings, getting clumsier and more flustered when he was near either Todoroki or Shinso. Or both. The result was a chain reaction that was as amusing as concerning: Midoriya would fumble with his words and grow increasingly agitated, causing the other two to get worried about the integrity of their friendship ("friendship", ha!) before the green haired boy managed to clumsily do something that would either cause him to fall against one of the two or show off how fast he was by zooming away, usually unintentionally showing off his strong legs that would fluster Todoroki andShinso.

Basically, it was a disaster. Entertaining, but still a disaster.

At night she would go to his room and had to listen to poor, confused Deku-kun ask her what was wrong with him and how would anyone as cool and strong as Todoroki and Shinso like him and how he was too greedy by liking both at once. She had to take his face between her hands and spent ten minutes explaining that anyone would be lucky to have his love and that he was amazing.

She then smiled and helped him formulate a plan to confess. The next day, she sneakily changed who she was betting on, from Todoroki to Midoriya.

In the next week she had to help Deku-kun gain enough courage, coaching him through any potential possible reaction and on Saturday she wished him good luck.

On saturday morning they all came down together and Midoriya had announced that they were together and asked for everyone to please keep it a secret as Endeavour was, in his own words, "an homophobic piece of shit that should go die in a ditch" and that if he "just thinks of harming either Shoto or Hitoshi in any way no law on this country will stop me from murdering him and leaving his body in the trash where he belongs."

Todoroki had looked at him like he hung the moon and Shinso looked like he was in awe.

The rest of the class was stunned into silence, so they all could clearly hear as the heterochromic boy whispered "We're going to marry him, right?" And the other nodded enthusiastically. "We fucking are."

As the class erupted in chaos, she gathered her money while smiling.