184 A Thousand Years Of Darkness

Due to the mental impact of everything that had occurred, young Ais' thoughts were all over the place but simultaneously going nowhere - it was as if her mind had short-circuited. Only after an unknown amount of time did she finally regain the ability to think coherently.

'Daddy! Mama!!'

And yet, when she tried to open her mouth to shout for her parents, hoping that they would mollify her fear to some extent, she discovered something that caused her to panic even more.

She couldn't see, her vision replaced by complete darkness. She couldn't make out even the faintest sound. Her sense of smell and taste were in the same predicament. But perhaps the most terrifying of all was the fact that she couldn't even feel her own body. It wasn't merely to the extent of not being able to move it, or that her sense of touch was absent. No, it felt as if she didn't even have a body to begin with!

All that she was left with was her mind. She couldn't scream to vent her frustrations, she couldn't cry her heart out. To think, that was the extent of her present capabilities.

Despite being only seven years old, perhaps out of sheer desperation, young Ais managed to figure out this much about her current situation. However, the facts that she had understood only made her fall deeper into despair.

'I… I want to go home! Please let me out of here!! Oh gods, I beg of you, please help me!'

In the vain hope that someone - anyone - was listening to her thoughts, she continued to plead for their help for a long, long time. It could have been mere minutes since she had entered this place, or it could have been a day - she honestly had no idea whatsoever. Her perception of time was already starting to turn very fuzzy. The absence of physical sensations as well as the monotony brought about by only being capable of perceiving her own thoughts, those were the main contributing factors behind this phenomenon.

'Mama… Daddy…'

Eventually, young Ais realized that nobody would help her, so she devolved to a state during which she continually thought of her parents. Most of the time, she would recall the happy years that they had spent together, but time and time again, the horrific event that had caused her to be stuck in this mess replayed itself, shattering the idyllic memories, tormenting her. During those moments, fear, sorrow and resentment clouded her mind.

She was stuck in this cycle for about a month, but it felt like an eternity to her.

'Right! Mama said that this should feel just like a dream and that we'll meet again once I come back from here. So… does that mean that I should just sleep?'

Because only her mind was still active, she hadn't felt any need to rest whatsoever. Usually, her brain would have forced her to undergo a mandatory recovery period long ago, however, due to her mind being completely disconnected from her body, this simply hadn't happened. If young Ais had been a little more knowledgeable, then she would have had the opportunity to realize that it was only her soul that had failed to be frozen in time.

Figuring out a new path to proceed forward on, she forced herself to rest, which was made extraordinarily difficult by the traumatic shadows of the recent past that kept popping up whenever she least wanted to recall them. Eventually, though, her mind became less and less active, falling into a dreamless hibernation.

When her thoughts stirred into activity once again, more than two and a half years had already passed. And yet, what greeted her was the all too familiar absence of all physical sensations. She was all alone in the darkness, and it was eating away at her very core.

'M-Maybe I just woke up too early? Yeah, that has to be it! I'll go right back to sleep. Surely, next time, it'll all be over. Surely.'

Refusing to accept her reality, clinging to one of the last straws of hope that she had left, young Ais did as she had done earlier and battled her mental demons to fall back into slumber.

On this occasion, her mind's hibernation continued for about 14 years. If she had been conscious for all this time, then she might have already completely broken. Fortunately, she had figured out a way to tide herself over this initial period of loneliness, to the point that she didn't even realize that it had started to set in.

'Looks like I didn't sleep long enough this time either. Let's try it one more time. It'll definitely be enough. Yeah.'

Before she knew it, she had managed to talk herself into hibernating many times. Ever since she had been sent here, close to 95 years had already passed - luckily, she had spent more than 99 percent of that time deep asleep. However, as is usually the case, good things ultimately don't last.

'I should go back to sleep. One more time, just one more time! Surely! … who am I kidding? It won't work. It just doesn't work! No matter how long or how often I sleep, nothing changes. Mama, what am I doing wrong?! When can I finally see you again? Y-You didn't lie to me, did you??'

It was almost unbelievable that this one tiny straw had managed to last Ais for close to a century, but it eventually snapped. Having lost what she had continued to rely on all this time, panic once more overwhelmed her exhausted mind.

'... I'm all alone.'

This time, she allowed the realization to truly set in. Loneliness that she had somehow managed to keep at bay for all these years flooded the innermost depths of her mind, both thrusting her deeper into despair as well as gradually dulling her thoughts.

'...'

She didn't know what to do anymore, because she had already tried everything that she could come up with. As for hope? Aside from her mother's promise that they would meet each other again once she got out of here, there was none left. And even that was a very dim ray of light to clutch onto at best. After all… her mother could have already died at the hands of the black dragon, following in her father's footsteps.

Feeling lost and lonely, for what felt like an infinite amount of time, Ais relived the last moments that she had shared with her family… and contemplated what might have happened to her mother. But the more often that she thought about it, the more difficult she found it to believe that she could still be alive. Of course, she hadn't seen her die and any number of things could have occurred after she had come here - but in all seriousness, how likely was it for such a miracle to happen?

Eventually, she settled on the most hopeful possibility, the only one that could allow herself to cope with this situation any longer: Her mother might be alive. It was possible. Until she saw her dead body, she wouldn't accept anything else as the truth.

50 years passed in absolute monotony.

'I just want to talk to someone. To anyone! Please! Talk to me! I don't want to be alone anymore!!'

Once more, Ais reverted to incessantly pleading for any other being to interact with her. Loneliness, by this point, had almost entirely overwhelmed her. She found it increasingly strenuous to recall the happy times of the past, or to even keep her mind in a somewhat lucid state. She had forced herself to hibernate a couple more times already, but of course, nothing had changed for the better.

'... I want to die. Please, just let it all end!'

21 years later, Ais finally couldn't stand it anymore. Being left all alone in an absolute void of the senses for what felt like countless eternities… she wanted it all to stop. If she couldn't get out of here, then she could at least join her father in the afterlife, right? While that would mean that she wouldn't be able to meet her mother again, she was certain that her mother wouldn't want her to suffer like this either. She wouldn't blame her.

However, no matter how much she wished for the blissful release of death, nothing happened.

'... if I completely stop to think, maybe that'll allow me to die?'

Left with no other alternative, instead of hibernating like before, Ais tried the last thing that she could come up with. Although it was excruciatingly tedious to do so due to her mental demons' interference - that traumatic experience continually caught up to her whenever she relaxed even a little - she had grown to be quite adept at handling them. When all was said and done, her mind finally ground to a halt.

'...'

116 years passed in her unchanging eternity, and yet her mind didn't react even one bit. Time had long blended into something impossible to perceive or keep track of, even back when she was still conscious.

'... looks like that didn't work.'

Another 127 years later, Ais ultimately failed to keep herself in her thoughtless state. She didn't understand why, but it was not like she could shed light on that mystery anyway, so she didn't even bother making theories about it. One thing was for certain: Her only hypothesized way out… was a dead end. And not in the sense that she had hoped for.

'This is all that black dragon's fault! If it wasn't for it… then I could have continued to be with my parents. No… it's the fault of all monsters! Daddy had to leave many times because of them. If they just didn't exist, then none of this would have happened! I swear… if I get out of here, I'll cut all of them to pieces!!'

Unbeknownst to her, what had eventually pulled her back into a conscious state was the hatred buried deep inside her, right next to the love and yearning for her parents. It was what hadn't allowed her to simply fade away completely, to resign from life once and for all. Now that all that was left besides all-encompassing loneliness were those feelings, the ember of hatred became the fuel driving her forward. In an odd twist of fate, it was what allowed her to stay sane… to an extent.

'Just you wait, the day that I get out of here will be when your extermination will begin!'

Imagining herself ridding the world of the evil that was the existence of monsters, Ais began to concoct more and more violent as well as ingenious methods of eliminating them in her mind. However, because she had never actually seen any monsters aside from the black dragon, she could only let her imagination do the trick and create the monsters loosely based upon the descriptions that she recalled from various stories.

This murderous frenzy continued for 303 years. Only then did her hatred, which had burst into a raging inferno before she realized it, return to its emberlike state from earlier. This wasn't because it had reduced in intensity. Rather, it had become more subdued and refined.

The loneliness had never faded and had long since become the companion that she was the most familiar with. Encased in its midst, almost as if swords sheathed within, there were her two remaining desires: To meet her mother once more - or at least to find out what had happened to her if that proved to be impossible - and to avenge her father by slaying all monsters, especially that black dragon!

'...'

Although she didn't make a mental peep, Ais wasn't hibernating, she was merely biding her time. She had grown used to the despair, used to the loneliness… used to waiting. Eventually, something would happen. It had already been an eternity, so the prospect of another eternity looming over her didn't manage to faze her any longer. She had grown entirely numb to it.

279 years later, when Ais had been trapped in this prison for 992 years, for the first time, a change occurred.

From one moment to the next, the sensations of a physical body that she had been deprived of for nearly a millennium returned to her. The darkness faded, replaced by a slightly less dark night that appeared brighter than even the sun to the bewildered girl.

Due to having been spat back into the world a few centimeters above the ground, combined with how unaccustomed she was to having any control over or even feeling as if she had a body, she stumbled right after her feet touched the earth. She swayed back and forth for a bit, not even instinctively reacting to regain her balance. Because of that, she fell backwards, the back of her head only getting moderately cushioned by the tall grass around.

"Ugh…"

The unfamiliar discomfort forced Ais to furrow her brows and spit out a sharp breath. Fortunately, her mouth had been closed, else she might have accidentally bit off her own tongue.

Trying and failing to move for a few minutes, she eventually managed to regain basic control over her small physical form. Sitting up, she rubbed the back of her head, mildly annoyed at the throbbing pain, but even more so excited at finally being able to feel something again!

Before even inspecting her surroundings, she took a deep breath, relishing in all the smells that assaulted her nostrils. A gentle breeze was brushing the tall grass against her skin, there was an irony taste of blood in her mouth from having bitten her cheek ever so slightly, there was firm soil beneath her fingertips… in all honesty, it was overwhelming.

If she had still been like before, then she would have cried out of relief. She would have jumped around in joy, curiously sizing up this location. However, she wasn't the same anymore. While she still felt relief, joy and curiosity, she was unable to express any of them externally any longer. This was in part due to how strange the fact of having a body now felt to her, but also because her emotions had grown very muted. Loneliness, hatred and desperate yearning were what she had exclusively experienced for all that time, so now all other feelings appeared insignificant in comparison. They could barely cause any ripples in her heart.

'Someone's coming!'

Startled by the rustling sounds approaching from the distance, as well as what she identified as a person mumbling to themselves, Ais turned to face the direction that the noise was coming from.

Considering that she had no negative experiences with other people whatsoever, she wasn't particularly wary of what might happen. This would turn out to ultimately have been for the best, because she could have missed her biggest opportunity had she deliberately hidden away at this point in time.

-----

"Why did you have us rest here for the night, Loki? There's not even a river or a lake nearby!"

Glaring at a certain light red-haired trickster goddess with exasperation written all over her face, a blue-grey haired Amazoness with a waist-length ponytail kicked a stone into the forest while sitting atop a freshly cut tree stump.

She looked to be about middle-aged, but considering her significantly advanced age, she had already held up very well. Just like any other Amazoness, she was clad in relatively skimpy clothing. White bandages and a thong of the same colour served as her underwear, while a wine-coloured bra supported her sizable assets further. A pareo-esque skirt made out of black cloth was draped over her lower body's part of her underwear, while a lilac scarf was wrapped around her neck. A number of golden accessories - namely earrings, a necklace and some other trinkets - accentuated her outfit.

"What's the matter, Bara? Can't handle a day without a bath? Did I coddle you too much over these past decades?"

Leaning against a tree while watching the members of her familia doing all the work at the campsite, Loki's expression turned more smug than usual as she gazed back at the discontented Amazoness. Only when Bara got up and clenched her fists did the mischievous goddess hurriedly raise her hands in defeat.

"Stop it, stop it! I'll tell you! I've just had a feeling that something interesting will happen around here tonight. That's all that I can tell you. Just wait for a bit, alright?"

Smirking to herself, Bara sat down once more, her brown eyes glimmering with satisfaction. Of course, she hadn't intended to hit her goddess, but because she had already done it once in the past when Loki had gone a little bit too far whilst updating her Status, the mere threat of violence served as a relatively effective deterrent.

"Is that really all?"

In response to the inquisitive tone of Bara's question, Loki helplessly shook her head, a hint of melancholy flashing past her eyes for a fraction of a moment. There were some things that she just didn't want to talk about.

"For now it is, yeah."

Keeping her mouth shut after saying this, no matter how much Bara prodded her for more information, Loki stared into the depths of the forest, recalling a time close to 1,000 years ago.

Just like many of her fellow brethren, she had relished in observing the - at the time - current Lower World for a while. Only very rarely had she ever intervened in any way at all. But in the past millennium, there had been one instance, just a singular one, when she had been completely unable to help herself. Before she had even fully processed what she had been about to do, she had already sent certain information into one of the mortals' minds. It had cost her a fair bit of Divine Energy to do so, which was why she would have usually been very reluctant to go through with it. But… she had wanted to leave at least a tiny little spark of hope for the future.

'According to Marduk's analysis, she should be here very soon. I better find an excuse to leave.'

Staring strongly at Bara, hoping that she would get the message, Loki cleared her throat.

"Ahem. I suddenly need to pee. Please excuse me for a bit, I'll be right back!"

That said, she hurried off into the forest with quick strides before anyone could react, recalling how this area had looked close to 1,000 years ago. Many geographic features had changed significantly since then, but eventually, amidst her mumbled complaints about the irritating insects as well as the small bushes that constantly got in the way, tearing at her clothing, she found the one who she was looking for.

A golden-haired girl of barely seven years of age stared at her with unfathomable loneliness radiating from her golden eyes. They were lifeless and devoid of emotion, just like her face. If she hadn't known any better, she would have thought her to be a doll fashioned after a gorgeous goddess that had gained sentience and remained decidedly inhuman. A cold chill ran down her spine as a strong guilt squeezed her heart tightly. If she had done more back then… then this girl wouldn't be in such a state today, right? Evidently, something had gone horribly wrong!

Taking a deep breath, she waved away the depressing notions clouding her head and showed an almost uncharacteristically warm smile. If Hel had been present, then she would have felt it to be quite familiar - it was the same expression that Loki often showed her… when she wasn't being a creep, that is.

Crouching down slowly, so as to avoid startling the young girl, Loki didn't break eye contact with her and remained calm and affable.

"Hi there, little one! Are you hungry? We've set up camp nearby and were just about to make some dinner. Want some?"

She didn't even have to wait for a response, because Ais' stomach instinctively began to growl at the mere mention of food.