Chapter Twenty Three: Suluk’s P.O.V.

Two months before the war begins…

The fight with Ava is all I've been able to think about. We don't talk anymore, we manage to act civil around the others for the sake of normality, but I'm sure everyone knows what is happening. Zip has told me that she's tried to talk to her before, but she's standing firm in her actions and what she believes in. I knew from the moment I met her that her will of fire burned brighter than anyone else, and she has proven that time and time again. Ginger and Sevanah have made sure she's still in the loop, and it would seem everyone except me has been continuing her training. Kieren keeps me updated in that aspect at least. He's told me she's even better than some of the more seasoned soldiers and has beaten Clover several times now. Luckily he's been the only normal one out of all of this. I can at least trust in him to treat me like me and not a broken, lost man.

  "So, we still on for tonight? Dinner?" The kind elf looks over to me as he's changing out of his armor into his normal clothing. His hair has grown out a bit since last autumn. He initially cut it all off as a show of rebellion after coming here. It seems he's finally accepting his Elvin roots, even if he still resents his homeland. I watch as he places the pieces back into a bun and tuck a few shorter strands behind those long, pointed ears.

  "I think Kieren said he was going to join tonight. Is that alright?" Tapping the toes of my boots onto the ground before standing and facing him fully now.

  "The more the merrier!" He smiles as he slings his bag over his shoulder. These few months will be the last time some of the soldiers get some time to relax before we have to start fully evacuating and settling into a new rhythm of things.

  Just as promised, Kieren shows up to the tavern later than us. Clover and I have already gotten into the ale pretty heavily by the time he finally sets down. "Looks like you fools have started without me." He smirks as he takes a seat between us on the small, round table.

  "You took too long, old man!" I joke with him. Recently the forced smile from before falls onto my lips a bit easier, like it's more of a reflex at this point. He just huffs out a laugh as he pats our backs and orders himself an ale to join in our fun.

  The night carries on. Unbothered that winter has dug its fangs into the country. The stars shine as if they are unaware of what waits for us in a few short months. Evacuations have already started, but a few citizens are waiting until they are out of time to leave. The queen was able to negotiate safe housing for everyone, not only within the Fae Kingdom, just like Sevanah had suggested, but a few neighboring human and elf villages as well. The breeze blows harshly across our drunken faces as we stumble out of the tavern and onto the streets. A few ladies at a nearby inn whistle and try to call us over. Kieren of course, even slightly buzzed, still remains as cool and calm as ever. Only a few steps in and Clover and I are laying on the frozen cobblestones, laughing so hard we can't breath properly. Kieren looks like a disappointed father as he just stands there, looking down at us. The only indication that he's drunk anything is his cheeks are rosy, and he's a little warmer to the touch.

  "Why don't you like Sevanah? It's been nearly a year and you still don't like her! Why is that?!" I blurt out making Clover giggle and sway his body to thud into mine. We both sway and try to link arms to help us stand up. A failed attempt.

  "She's not what she seems. At first I thought she was a spy. Now I know she's hiding something. No one knows that much about strategy and warfare without being in several wars themselves. She's not telling us something." He mumbles, crossing his arms and watching us with amusement as we continuously fail to try and get up.

  "Or are you just mad that she stole your new friend, Ava?" I giggle out, unable to think properly as a few tears burn my cheeks. Thinking about her always does this to me, whether I've been drinking or not.

  "Sevanah said she doesn't like you either because you're an arrogant asshole!" Clover hiccups, making both of us laugh again. Kierens shadows around him darken slightly as he glares at us. He starts to walk off, the darkness receding as he does so. "How does he do that?! It's like a cool, undiscovered magic trick!" Clover looks in awe at him as he slowly stalks off. Not going far, but giving us enough distance so that if anyone sees us, they won't think we're all together. Even if he wants to leave us, he won't in fear we'd hurt ourselves or get into trouble if not supervised. It's not like he's totally wrong in that assumption.

  "I also think it's awesome how he can call upon shadows and make his shadow sentient if needed. It's really handy in his secrecy work." I emphasize it with a shushing sound, making us both giggle again. "Not to mention all the other bad-ass things he can do!"

  "Plus his dragon is super scary and cool!" Clover cheers as he falls over to lay on the cold stones. That blush slowly spreading across the rest of his face from the cold winds blowing in.

  Kieren might not say it, and he doesn't have to, but he's proud of how his dragon looks and how the will of fire is strong within him. It's what gives his powers life. Between the shadows, healing, and black magic he can control it's hard not to also be proud of my best friend! He's truly amazing and should be proud about it, even if he is absolutely oblivious to flirting and most obvious social cues. Or at least he likes to pretend to be when he doesn't want to do extra work, or deal with someone.

  The night continues, brisk and bright. The stars shine like they know Clover and I need the extra assistance. Which is much appreciated since Kieren refused to help us back to my place. We've all come to the agreement that that is where we will be sleeping for the night. After lots of staggering, tumbling and laughing we've finally arrived at my small home. It's not long before Clover is snoring, sprawled awkwardly on the couch and Kieren is grabbing the water and two glasses, proceeding to sit at the table.

  Placing a blanket over Clover before stumbling my way to the chair across from Kieren. His amused face is the first thing that greets me before a slice of bread is shoved in my face. "You need to eat something before you get sick."

  Taking a bite from the bread, Kieren rolls his eyes as he shoves the slice into my hand with a chuckle. "What? You said I need to eat!" I accuse after swallowing and having a good chuckle.

  "Yeah, yeah. Whatever, you overgrown toddler." He chuckles out as he leans back into his chair. His head falling back onto his shoulders as he stares at the ceiling for a moment. His thoughts are racing, I can feel them in the link, yet he never moves as if he's going to speak. Swallowing my last piece of bread I finally chirp up.

  "Whatever you're thinking about, it's too loud. Gonna give me a headache. Either talk about it or quit." I rub my temples softly as I rest my head in my hands, closing my eyes and trying to focus on the feeling that the ale brings me. I hear his sigh, the way the wood creaks on the table as he leans forward on it again. Feel the way his eyes burn holes on the top of my skull, and I know what's coming next. I don't want to hear it, but then again I never do.

  "Sul, you need to talk about it. With anyone at this point! I'll even accept if it's that stupid fairy! If it just means that you'll finally let some of that pain go, man…. It's hard to see you like this when there's nothing I can do to help. You won't let me help." He manages to make his voice soft, even if that's the opposite of what he wants to do right now.

  "And what do you expect me to say? What am I supposed to do?" I feel like I'm going to throw up at this rate, yet I know it's not from ale. It's talking about her, the sadness and hurt comes out in odd ways lately, and this has been one of them.

  "Anything! Scream, cry, hell I'll even take you trying to fight me at this rate! As long as you do something besides this!" He waves his hands in the air to emphasize his point. I look around the messy room and try to come up with a joke, but I can't think of one.

  "I know it's a little messy…"

  "A little messy?! Suluk, are you serious right now?! For the past year you've done nothing but drown yourself in ale, games, and what I can only assume that pile over there is random crafts that Ava would have liked! This isn't healthy man, and with such a big event coming up I need you to be healthy and focused. You need to talk to anyone about this. You're hurting, I know it best of all, but I can't help you until you want it." His eyes hold sorrow, pain and determination. That hurts me most of all.

  "I don't need your pity!" Slamming my hands on the table, and throwing my chair back as I stand suddenly. Accidentally waking Clover in my actions. Luckily for us it's not long before he's back to sleep, turning slightly into the cushions on the back of the couch, trying to cuddle with one.

  "I'm not showing you pity, I'm showing you concern. I once had a friend who did the same for me, even when I didn't want it. I hope one day I'll see him again, when he's done drowning alone and finds his senses again." Is the last thing he whispers before leaving without a sound.

  Sleep was restless that night. Ava, who usually haunts my dreams, is accompanied with Kieren and Zipporah join her in tormenting me. What starts out lovely quickly turns into something of a beautiful nightmare. Holding Ava in my arms, soon becomes fighting beside her, just to turn around and see her funeral pyre. Waking up in a cold sweat doesn't last long as the sweet song of sleep lulls me back to the floor. This new dream starts with Kieren and I in the training arena, sparing. What was fun and lighthearted soon turns into a battle for my life. Next thing I know I'm watching from above as he stabs his sword through my chest as tears stream down his face. With a gasp, shaking hands, and sweat covering me and the floorboards where I'm lying I can barely keep my eyes open. Next I'm in Zipporah's shop, her and Ginger behind the counter talking, their voices muffled and hushed as if they don't know I'm there. Reaching out for them turns the scene into something horrific. I can't move, I'm tied to something, having to watch as they fight for their lives. The moment Ridge flies over and his purple fire destroys everything, all I can do is stare at the spot where my friends stood, now nothing but ashes.

  "SULUK!" A hard smack to my face has me shooting up. Frantic and confused I throw my hands up ready to fight whoever is here. "Whoa, whoa man! It's just me. It's Clover!" As I finally start to get my bearings about me, I look at him. Clover is curled up off towards the couch, hands up and eyes wide as he just stares at me. Looking around at the scorched floor and the smoldering edges of, well what's left of, my shirt it finally clicks what's happening. Looking back at him with concern I finally notice how bad one of his hands looks. He must have burned himself trying to wake me up.

  "I'm so sorry." Is all I can think to whisper. My throat feels raw as the taste of smoke fills my mouth. Did I breathe fire while asleep? What the hell happened?!

  "You alright? We're safe, everyone is fine right now. You were yelling in your sleep." His voice is shaky, as if he's trying to play off the pain. He's trying to make sure I'm alright before anything else, and that seems to break my heart a little more at his caring nature.

  "What the hell happened?! We need to get you to a healer! You need Kieren to fix your hand!" I can't stop the shaking in my hands as I look around for another shirt. Probably should change altogether at the minimum if I'm going to see him again.

  "Suluk you need to calm down. You're going to catch fire again. I'll tell you what happened if you just take a few deep breaths. My hand's fine, I've had worse." He shrugs and pulls the blistered, angry red and peeling appendage back to him. Not trying to hide it, but to look at it himself as if he's not bothered by it. How he can sit there and tell me that with a straight face is beyond me. He's in excruciating pain, even if he won't admit it. His body language tells me enough. 

  Trying my best I take a few shaky deep breaths and sit up further. Staring at him as he examines his hand for a moment before placing it beside him on the ground as if he can't find the energy right now to hold it up any longer. The small face of pain he makes as he does so is all I need to see. Standing I make my way to my room, grabbing another shirt and throwing it on as Clover tries to get me to stop. I don't listen, the blood roaring in my ears won't let me hear him anyways. Instead buttoning my pants and walking back to where he is, scooping him up and walking outside to take off towards Kierens.

  "Dude! Put me down! I told you I'm fine!! I'm not supposed to be in the air! Oh, shit I think I'm gonna be sick…" His face pales as we slice through the air. His good hand has a death grip on the back of my shirt, while his injured one is cradled on his chest.

  "Puke on me and Kieren will have to fix more than that hand. Focus on telling me what happened instead." My eyes are focused ahead, but I feel the moment he finally pulls his gaze away from the shrinking ground to look at me.

  "You were screaming in your sleep. I was in the kitchen, I was about to start making us breakfast as a thank you for letting me crash at your place, when all hell broke loose! There was so much smoke coming out of your mouth it filled the room in no time, I was trying to open windows to see what was happening! By the time it cleared enough for me to see, you were…. You were engulfed in flames like Ginger does when she's mad. I've only ever seen her do that. I know you've got fire magic on your side, but I've never seen you look like that." His voice cracks as his eyes are a mix of awe and worry at the same time.

  "Is that how you hurt your hand?" My words sound small, like I'm fragile and could break at any moment.

  "I tried to call out to you, tried everything I could think of. I even threw a pillow at you first, but it burned up almost the moment it made contact with the fire around you. I poked you with a stick I found laying around. You just kept screaming, so I ran out of options. I reached my hand in and slapped you as hard as I could to try and wake you. That seemed to work. It at least put the fire out. And then you woke up a few seconds later." His eyes trail from my face to the approaching house on the ground. "I thought he was staying with us last night?"

  "No. We got in a fight after you fell asleep. He went home." And now I have to go tell him that he was right. That I'm drowning and have no idea how to break the surface again after all this time.

  Rapid knocking is matching my heart beat at this moment as I try to think of how to apologize to him. He opens the door faster than I expect, and I'm met with his tired expression first. Once realization hits him, the door nearly hits me as he slams it. "You have every right to be pissed at me Ren! But we need you! It's an emergency! Please!" I keep knocking, and banging and yelling until he finally yells back.

  "Unless someone is dying or dead, it's not an emergency! You don't need me, remember?"