Chapter Twenty One: Suluk P.O.V.

It's been two weeks since Ava and I shared that world altering kiss, and I can't even focus on training right now. Kieren throws another stick at the back of my head as I just stare off into the colorful trees and think about all the ways I can surprise her the next time I see her. Counting the minutes until I'm finally released again for even a moment to see her, and not watching these stumbling babies, was becoming draining for not only myself but Kieren as well. If he would just shut down the link every once in a while then he wouldn't have to deal with my unwavering longing. 

"QUIT SPACING OUT LOVER BOY! WE HAVE WORK TO DO!" His frustration is showing its true colors as he actually screams across the training area instead of down the link. Making all these poor, unassuming recruits stop in their tracks and stare while fear fills the air. A few of the braver ones snicker and whisper as they look down the area to where I'm standing. "IF YOU HAVE TIME TO LAUGH AND TALK, YOU HAVE TIME TO TRAIN! I DIDN'T SAY STOP!" Kieren is unfazed as he storms through them to get to me. Everyone without another word, or breath it seems like, return to their training. In some areas the stench of fear grows and wafts on the wind down towards me. "What the hell is wrong with you?! Get it together man! That was two weeks ago, figure out your next move when we have time to think about that! If you're going to be like this during the meeting later then don't even bother showing up." 

The words sound harsh, but I know what he means. I can't seem to focus, to be present in this moment as Ava consumes my every waking moment. I'll be useless in no time if I keep going down this path, but I'm not sure how to stop. I'm sure I look like a wounded rabbit as I stare at him for a moment. The vein that pops out slightly when he's mad is making an appearance again as he just stands there staring at me. "Just ask whatever it is. You're starting to piss me off." His icy tone he's been using could have been indication enough of that fact. 

"I don't want to upset you even more though…" I'm not sure if I have the heart to ask what I want. I'm scared of him getting even more mad, but a sad Kieren is a whole different story. I'm not sure if I can deal with him like that again.

"You're about to make me fight you and show these recruits how it's done if you don't just ask. It's pissing me off more with all this beating around the bush nonsense." He glares at me as his eyes narrow. 

"If this is how you felt with Milli, how did you manage to work past it? To keep coming to work and focus that is?" The question tastes bad as I say it, but I'm not sure how else to ask. Silence passes between us for what feels like a lifetime, but he finally takes a deep breath and looks up to the sky. 

"It was hard at first. Luckily I had time alone with her for two weeks after the marriage, so that helped a ton. When I finally did have to leave to start working again, it was a struggle. The main thing that got me through the day was knowing she was safe and happy. That what I was doing was providing for us and that she was waiting at home for me to come back. Even on the hard days, I knew that as soon as I got back home that she would be there with open arms and that loving smile; and all that stress would melt away." His smile is sad as he speaks about the past. 

"Would you do it all again, if you knew it would end up like this?" The look of shock on my face must be something like a kid getting caught red handed. I couldn't stop the question from racing past my lips. Didn't even really know what I was saying until it was said. Yet, here we are. Kierens eyes hold no resentment or pain as he looks from the sky to me. 

"Yes. I wouldn't trade those memories for the world or try to change anything if I had the chance. They are special and will live on in my heart no matter what. Milli and Max may no longer be by my side anymore, and may never again, but their memory will live on through me. Their will is living on, everyday. Every morning when I open my eyes, every mission I take and every place I travel to I carry them in my heart. I carry what they stood for, what they believed in, their hopes and dreams. I make sure I honor them in whatever I end up doing. I still carry hope that I'll see her smiling face again, even if I know it will only be in a dream. Love does funny things to a man. To a soul. Don't you think?" His eyes, dull and sad, stare into mine. I can see the hope and love shining behind that facade, and can feel them radiating down the link. I know deep down he's right, that I need to pull myself together. Wiping my hand down my face I straighten myself up as he finally pats me on the back. 

"Hello boys! This looks like fun!" A small, feminine voice calls from behind us. Not only gaining our attention, but the recruits as well. 

"Oh, hello Sevanah. Glad to see you could make it today. You're early, however, we're still in the middle of training." I call out to her. Her large wings carried her closer, before setting her on the ground delicately. 

"I'm sorry I'm early. I was just so bored and heard there might be something happening down here. Do you mind if I watch?" Her large, round eyes are like daggers even if they seem innocent. Her smile is bright as her wings flutter happily behind her. 

Looking to Kieren to see if it's alright with him, I notice how his eyes narrow on her. Icy, and deadly. He studies her for a moment before the link pulls me in. 'I don't like her and I definitely don't trust her!' I'm surprised for a moment. She hasn't done anything to suggest we can't trust her yet, she even was very open about helping us come up with a strategy for the war to come. 'I know what she did. I was there. There's just something off about her. I don't trust her. I can't put my finger on it, but I don't want her around the recruits yet.' He argues, already reading my emotions. 

'The Queen trusts her…. Maybe it wouldn't hurt to have her watch the end of practice. It's not like we're doing anything special.' I reason with him. His eyes remain focused on her, and she turns that bright smile to him. I feel the repulse and how he wants to cringe away down the bond. It's been a while since I've seen him so worked up over someone new. 

"I don't see why that won't be a problem. There's nowhere to really sit I'm afraid. Are you alright standing? Or should I send someone to grab you a box or chair to sit on?" I smile back at her, being friendly even at Kierens disapproving glare. 

"No need to worry about that! I'm fine standing for a while. What are they doing?" She steps closer to us, making Kieren inch away slightly and look annoyed as she comes to stand between us. Luckily for him two of the recruits start actually fighting each other and it gives him the perfect excuse to storm off angrily. 

"We are currently trying to teach them fighting techniques and how to properly wield a weapon. When they learned this at the academy it was the beginner course, and now they get the full experience. However, they're not supposed to be fighting with each other like that yet. That comes later after the basics of today." I chuckle softly at her wide eyes watching as Kieren pulls the two grown men apart with barely any effort. 

"I can't believe he can do something like that…. He doesn't look that big compared to them." She whispers out, making me laugh at her assumption of him. 

"Sweet, little fairy. You have a lot to learn." I chuckle out to her, drawing her attention back to me. "A dragon's strength isn't measured by how big their muscles are, or how big their form is. A dragon's strength is measured by the heart, by their soul." 

"What does that even mean?" She looks extremely confused as I try to explain this to her. Those large eyes look as though they might see down to my soul. 

"What that means…. Is that no matter how much someone works to improve their appearance or try to get bigger, they must first work on themselves. True strength comes from within. Someone with a big heart, like being kind or going out of their way to help others when they don't have to. Someone with a strong will, or soul that won't be moved from what they believe. That is someone who is worthy of true strength." I look back over to Kieren who's now standing on the other side of the arena, brooding. 

"And that's why he's stronger than the others, even if they're bigger than him?" She follows my actions and looks down to Kieren as well. 

"Yes. That's why he's so strong. We have a phrase for that." I can't help the small smile that tugs on the corners of my lips. I feel her eyes back onto me in an instant. "Hangea drialhs fogrethel sirpeasna." I watch her struggle for a moment, trying to pronounce the words herself. "It loosely translates to 'The one with the will of fire'." 

"Is that only for dragons?" The question catches me off guard. I smile down to her, even if Kieren doesn't like her I have yet to feel anything off about her. 

"No it's not. It's for anyone who lives upon this sacred ground. Anyone can have a will of fire, if you continuously work on yourself and your inner strength." I pat her shoulder as she shines a little brighter in the sun with that large smile upon her face. I can't help the stray thought that floats its way up to the front of my mind. Maybe the reason Kieren doesn't like her is because they're complete opposites. While he's all shadows and secrecy, this winged, small fae woman is all shine and openness. 

'That's not why I don't like her.' Kierens eyes never leave the trainees, but he makes sure those words are heard loud and clear. I can't help but laugh at his misfortune for being unable to put a reason on why he doesn't like her. Confusing Sevanah even further. 

🜹🜹🜹

Training wrapped up quickly after that, making Kieren run out of excuses to stay away from her. From his blank face sitting next to me, one would never know he was unhappy to be seated at the table between her and I. However, not everyone has him yelling in their head either. His emotions are barreling down the link, as if I needed any more indication that he was unhappy to be here. Grabbing the food quickly and practically pushing them out of the small restaurant to the meeting room back on base, I want to get this over with as soon as possible! 

"Forgive me if I'm being too blunt, but how is it that you know so much about this?" I look to Sevanah, who is having to stand upon a chair to be able to fully see the map laid out. We're working on a strategy for the upcoming war, and I shouldn't be surprised since we slightly went over an outline for this meeting at Ava's. 

"Full transparency? I used to be on the war council for the Fae Kingdom. When my brother took the crown he was quick to put me on the council with my extensive knowledge and aptitude. I was happy to do it. It's one of the few things I'm good at. I'm now happy to be of use here also." Her tone is sad even if she tries to hide it behind a smile. Her sparkle, slightly dim. 

'Stop thinking about it. Don't ask. It's obviously still painful. She's still new, so be nice!' I yell down the link to Kieren. He can't stop thinking about asking her why she ended up here if she was so happy there. He just broods in the corner while we continue to talk about plans and what soldiers excel at what. Even to his disapproval. 

"What is this back here? Those mountains? I have been meaning to ask Hielsy, but haven't had the time to do so." That makes Kieren and I look at her curiously. We knew the Queen had said she was a long time friend, but to be on the first name basis with her was an entirely new story! 

"Those are the caves where dragons go to have their children. Where we grow up for the first few years of our lives." Kieren's simple explanation isn't wrong, but the tone could have been better. 

"Oh! So those are the caves! I've heard about them briefly from her, but nothing extensive. I didn't know they were so far back. We could use that to our advantage if needed. That is if the fight makes it past the gates." Her focus is solely on the map as her small fingers glide over it. As if she's trying to put together a difficult puzzle. 

"There's children there! We will most certainly not use them!" Kierens anger seem to chill the entire room. Whether he wanted to believe it or not, she has a point. If they breach the gates we'll be rapidly running out of options. That being said, he's not wrong to be concerned. There's nowhere else to send the younglings. They can't be trusted around others yet, not with their basic instincts still taking over. 

Their arguing has gone on long enough. Raising both of my hands, not touching them but silently making them stop and draw their attention to me. "You are correct. We could use that raw strength to our advantage if needed. But, Kieren is also right. They are children. Dragon younglings are different from other species. They are feral, still just creatures to their instincts and desires until later. We're not even permitted to leave the caves until we're 21 winters old in order to protect the rest of the citizens down here. We can't just simply relocate them. Where do you suggest they go?" Her eyes widened for a moment, before the face she made earlier returns. As if she's trying to solve an unsolvable question. 

"There are unused mountains in the Fae Kingdom. The terrain is too dangerous and hostile for most to go near. It used to belong to the Dark Fae, before they relocated. If Hielsy talks to their rulers, then maybe an agreement will be made. They could be relocated there for a short period of time. How does that sound?" She looks between us half worried, and half hopeful that it might please the both of us. 

"Just them, or the rest of the kingdom? We can't just leave innocent civilians out in the open as a whole war rages just beyond the gates." Kierens narrows eyes track her every movement. 

"We talk about moving them to safe spaces when we have our meeting with the king and queen. I'm sure the Fae King and Queen will have no problem taking some in, but they don't have the room for everyone. We'll figure out all the small details with them. We need to talk about what we should do with all that raw strength in the mountains however." She's back to staring at the map yet again. 

"It's going to be hard to do that. It's all the way back here. Miles away from the front gate, not to mention those who live there only listen to the King. We'll never be able to control that many with just us." 

"Unless the king commands them to listen to us." Kierens eyes shine with amusement. He stares at me for a moment before looking back to an excited fairy, her wings flapping happily behind her. "He's still right about the distance however. If we need them at a moments notice it'll still take at least an hour for them to get up to us." He takes too much pleasure in seeing her distressed after getting her hopes up. 

"If the city will be deserted, and they're grown enough to control themselves, then why not have them waiting there? It'll only take 5 to 10 minutes max for them to get here, right?" She looks hopeful, never taking her eyes off the map as she traces the distance with her fingers. 

"She has a point. You can't beat that logic if you look at it." I return the smile she's beaming at us. Kieren just subtly rolls his eyes and sighs. 

"Fine. We'll talk to them about it in our next meeting. As for now, we have recruits to worry about." He stares at me, even as her skin shines a little brighter having both of us agree to something finally.