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Why Everyone is so Dumb ? (A Naruto Fanfiction)

So, my life was boring, to say the least. I was born in a poor family, we strived to better ourselves day by day. I studied with my all, did everything I could just so that we would be where we were before all shit went out. My only wish ? I hope my mother is well, and that my father can take care of them when I'm not around... I am... Sorry, let me correct myself. I was James R. Alfred, 20yo, married, 2 children (a son and a daughter), died by lost bullets from a thief. Now I am Naruto, 11yo, don't really need to continue, right? Let's do all I can to survive this fucked up world full of dumb idiots... Cover is not mine. All characters are not mine. Nothing there is mine, I'm just writing this for fun and don't have any schedule to post chapters, peace.

Albreth · Anime & Comics
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8 Chs

Land of Waves, *BOOM* and *POOF*

>Konoha - Village's main road - A few days later

"Boring..." Said Sakura. "Yeah..." Continued Sasuke. I just follow behind them and Kakashi-sensei to the Hokage's Tower. Today we did another D-Rank mission and they are right, it IS boring. Not that I can complain, my shadow clones really helps.

"Oh, hello, Kakashi! Another mission? I'll call the Hokage!" Said the attendant before running up the stairs to talk to the Hokage. *Knock knock* "Ah, yes, let them in..." Said Hiruzen, hiding his crystal ball and taking his smoking pipe. "Okay, Hokage-sama!" said the attendant before going back down, a little sad. I can feel her emotions, she's craving for something, and maybe I know what that something is... 'Ugh, I can't imagine grandpa doing something like that, but all mens are man, aren't they?'

"Hokage-sama said that you can go in..." She says as if rushing us away. "Okay, thanks." Said Kakashi before going up the stairs, with us following behind. When Sakura was going to knock on the door, we hear Hiruzen saying "You can enter..." in his raspy voice.

Going inside, we all greet him and he says "Another D-Rank mission, is it?" But, before Kakashi can say yes, I say "No, give us a C-Rank this time..." and they all look at me. "What do you say, Kakashi? Can they do it?" Asks Hiruzen, to which Kakashi replies "Uhh, yes, they can, but..." but Hiruzen just beat him to it and says to them and order the anbu there "Then it's okay. I'll give you a C-Rank. Bring the client inside."

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The anbu comes with a grey-haired, bespectacled man with a large beard and dark eyes. He wore a sleeveless v-neck shirt with an obi, pants and a pair of sandals, and also carried a towel around his neck, with a pointed hat on his head. "What, so many brats...?" Says Tazuna, entering the room. "He's Tazuna, a bridge builder, and our client. Your mission is to escort him to Land of Waves and secure him until he completes the bridge." says Hiruzen. 'It's a bit different from canon, maybe it's because of my change.'

Before Tazuna can start all that canon shit, I say "Okay, when and where do we meet, Kakashi-sensei?" while going towards the door. Tazuna just looks at me and says "What's up with you, shorty? Do you think I will believe that you're a ninja?" To which I responds doing a handseal and making one shadow clone. "Yeah, I am. So, when and where?" I dispel the clone and look at Kakashi, who is dumbstruck with my behavior and just lets out a "Lets meet at Konoha's front gate 1 hour from now, go prepare yourselves..." Before nodding to the Hokage and flickering away. I do the same and flicker away, much to the dismay of the old man Tazuna, who wanted to say some random shit.

"Well, you guys can go..." Said Hiruzen in his raspy voice before all them goes away from his office. 'He really did change... And so many changes, I'm afraid... Lets just ask him when he comes back from the mission...' He thinks, intaking some smoke and blowing it on the window. "Hope it's not what I am thinking..." He says to no one in particular.

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>Konoha - Near Konoha's Front Gate - 50 minutes later

I am walking to the front gate from my apartment. This time I am in no way going to send just a clone. It's my first C, or B, or A-Rank. Depends on how you see it. It's C-Rank before the puddle, B-Rank after that, and A-Rank when Zabuza and Haku shows up.

All this time I have my clones train in ninjutsu related things, while I work with my body. I decided to start with taijutsu training. My stamina is good, I'm an Uzumaki after all. My speed I offset with Body Flicker. So I just need to train my hand-to-hand (and legs) combat, as that is what most of taijutsus entails.

I did send some clones to do some reflex training, and it was really a big help in that. Also, my clones did get Rasengan right, but it takes time to make one, not even close to the 4th Hokage. Right now I have some things prepared to this mission, one of the being kunais with explosion tags. I'll just throw some of them at the puddle and *BOOM*! Should be enough to deal some damage.

Reaching the gate, I see all my teammates already there and greet them with "Hey there, everyone's ready?" To which they reply with a nod. After assuring that everyone have everything that we may need, we start to walk to the Land of Waves.

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Well, it took some time, but we finally came across a puddle. I just chuckle and throw my kunais with explosive tags there, activating them. "Really, a puddle on a sunny day isn't enough, even with two days without rain? Really dumb if I say so myself, KATSU!" I yell for the fun, and *BOOM!* And yeah, they didn't die, alright? But maybe some limbs are missing, who knows. I know a few who do have one arm or one leg missing... 'Yeah, bad joke, I know. It's the fucking disease...'

"Good observation, Naruto..." Says Kakashi before capturing the two and tying them with a rope. "So, why did you attack us?" He said to the assassins before just throwing the façade away and using a jutsu to read their mind. He did copy a thousand jutsus, alright? Who am I explaining this, by the way? Well, don't matter.

"Looks like they are after you, Tazuna-san... The mission didn't say about ninjas, only protection from bandits and thiefs. Looks like you're hiding something from us..." He said, and I just ignore them while Tazuna tells his tale. After that, I do a handseal and spawn two shadow clones and say "Take them to the village." To which they nod and each carries one, going back towards the village. "Lets continue..." I said before walking ahead. "Wait, Naruto, we... *Sigh* Forget it, lets go..." He says and follow me, to which the others just nod to each other and come too.

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Well, I saw the signs of Zabuza like the canon, but didn't throw my kunai there. Suddenly Kakashi-sensei shouts "Everyone down!" And everyone ducks out of the way. I simply stand there looking at the swords, which cuts me, end...

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Hey, Author here... Yeah, joking, fucking not happening. 'Wait, who is Author?' I think while looking at Zabuza who appears standing on the sword stuck to the tree. "That's one down!" He says and continues "Oh, if it isn't Kakashi of the Sharingan! Fancy meeting you, but now I need to kill this old man there!" He says before flickering towards Tazuna. Suddenly he stops and ducks his head, and a shuriken passes by, reaping some of his hair.

"Really? Did you think I would just die like that? You're dumber than those two at the pond earlier..." I said while some rocks goes *POOF* around him, showing many shadow clones which restrain him before he can use Mizu Kawarimi, or however it was called on canon. "Sensei~, do your thing~..." I say, picking up an apple from my bag and eating it while sitting on a tree branch.

That was one of the things that my clone improved. They can now transform into objects, like shuriken, logs, or simple rocks by the road. It's good to be sure, so I have a few more prepared for this occasion. "Wow, nicely done, Naruto..." Say Kakashi, wide eyed at my display, before showing his Sharingan and putting Zabuza on an illusion. 'He should be here at any moment...' I think while seeing Sasuke conflicting emotions about Kakashi's Sharingan.

Just as I thought that, Haku comes and throws some senbons at Zabuza. I just let him. 'I'll save them later, after all.' I think before Haku says "Thanks for your help, I was following him and trying to find a way to take him down! I will take it from here on!" To which I just dispel my clones and look at Kakashi, who look at Haku and says "Okay, no problem..." And Haku just flicker away with Zabuza's body.

I hop from the tree and continue walking, look behind me and say "You guys coming?" While munching on my apple. They nod to themselves and we continue. We didn't had to wait for Kakashi, who is pretty much uninjured and didn't spent much chakra.

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When we reached Tazuna's house, I commented with them "You guys know that he didn't die, don't you?" And Sasuke frown, while Sakura said "What?! But we saw that person killing him in front of us!" To which Kakashi responds with "Fake death with senbons, is it?" While looking at me with a calculative look. "Yeah..." I reply. "That person didn't dispose of the body right away..." He nods and says "Lets prepare for the future. I'll train you guys while he takes his time to recover..."

Sakura and Sasuke are happy, thinking about their Jounnin sensei training them, which he did NOT do all this time. "Say, Naruto. What is your strength right now?" Kakashi asks me. I shrug and say "Somewhere between Chunnin and Tokubetsu Jounnin, why?" Answering his question. "So, you can take that person while I fight Zabuza, yeah?" He asks again. "As easy as breathing..." I shrug and answer again, going back to my assigned room. "See you guys later! Maybe I won't go training with you guys, as I have something to do myself..." I say, before flickering away.

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At my assigned room, I make a shadow clone to be sure that they don't suspect me of anything, and flicker from the window to the forest of trees nearly. 'Morning tomorrow I will talk with him... For now, lets spend this remaining chakra to do some training, hehe...' I do a handseal and spawn 600 clones. 'That's just too much... They will henge and all, but so many of them training there won't be any less suspicious.' I think before saying "Spread yourselves. Go far away from each other. Only those who are training reflex are to be together." To which they nod, henge and flicker away.

'I should go back...' I think while looking up, seeing the moon and the stars. 'The moon... eh... That reminds me of Kaguya... Kaguya... Kagura? Oh, there was that too! Mind's Eye of Kagura! Lets try to learn that too. Naruto couldn't do it, but I'm not him, am I? Don't matter anyway, I'll try...' And I spend the last of my chakra, spawning 50 shadow clones, and say "Try to do the Mind's Eye of Kagura, and compare with each other to make it faster..." And I flicker to my room, dispel the shadow clone that was on my bed and lay there. 'Another day ends, huh... Lets sleep a bit more today... Wait, I can't... Haku and all... Just take a nap... A nap...' I think before my head goes blank and I enter my dream land.

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Hey guys! Author here again, and thanks for reading as always! This chapter have nearly 2000 words! I'm taking various ideas here and there and trying to improve, but there are so many that I'm thinking of rushing things a little! Well, the last training did get some results and this one will too, so wait for it! I'm not feeling so well right now, so I can't do another chapter, but I'll try to do more when I wake up tomorrow! Peace!