13 Truth

The fork that I am holding bumps on the plate, making a sound that broke the peaceful ambiance of the shop. I let it rest on top of it, my eyes still fixed on Elise as she calmly drinks her tea

"That's impossible. We didn't exchange e-mail addresses yet."

I clarify.

"I see, well I'm sorry for jumping into conclusions."

After that the silence resumes, as I lift the fork up once again it feels heavier than before, I slice the shortcake it seems cutting a piece of paper with a dull pair of scissors. Is it because my mind is jumbled up with thoughts? What is the truth? To whom should I believe to? Even the taste of the shortcake became unknown from my taste buds, it is like I am eating sponge coated in foam.

"Does it taste good Ashley?"

She asks as she put her almost empty cup on the saucer.

"Ah... Y-yes it's delicious!! It's so sweet that I might get a toothache."

"From the wax paper?"

I was so drowning in thoughts that I didn't know I was already eating the wax paper were the shortcake was in. Shame on me for being inattentive and for being scatterbrained; I slowly removed the paper out of my mouth and put it back on the plate. I can hear Elise's chuckle even though she is trying to hide it as she covers her mouth with her hand and looking the other way, I feel so embarrassed for doing such a mistake. After she regains composure she clears her throat before speaking,

"Ahem. Let's change topic then, if you're not the reason, then what do you think about my cousin?"

My breath stopped for a second there, the topic changed but why is it still about Yohan? I pat my chest because I feel like something got stuck, maybe because of the absurd question that Elise has fired.

"Err... A friend?"

I respond in an unsure way as I scratch my forehead as if I am trying to dig out the answer from there. She leans forward with an unbelieving look,

"Really? No intimate feelings or such?

"Err... The other day, when we bumped into each other, have you picked a plastic bag with a book in it?"

I ask to escape from her scrutinizing eyes that makes me feel uneasy, I feel like I am being eaten alive; she sits with her index finger tapping on her lips as she thinks of the previous events that I was involved.

"Ah! Before the bus stop, it got swapped when we bumped. I think it is still in my bag... Wait a sec."

Elise took a plastic bag out from her sling bag and hand it over to me; I took it with delight, eyes sparkling as if it has seen a treasure waiting to be opened.

"Shudder... You're into horror, huh? I was shocked, I thought you were more into romance."

"Well, don't judge the book by its cover."

I chuckle while my finger traces the curve of the page that I was turning over. I just can't stop grinning for I finally retrieved this book that I was dying to read it.

"Yeah, you're right. Anyways..."

Elise takes her hand out like begging for something, I don't really know what does that mean so I just look at her hand dumbfounded.

"Where's mine? The plastic bag that you took, it was for him."

"Oh... Err, the fish food? I left it at my house."

I reply as I put the book down, it bugs me that the content of that bag was for Yohan. I didn't know that he has that absurd taste of food, well I never encountered someone who eats fish food, just now. Everyone has a different preference in what they eat, but I never thought that Yohan's is quite... Wild and exotic; never judge a book by its cover I think.

"He... Has a very strict diet you know, and a very frail constitution. That's why he can only eat fish food."

"Huh? Don't tell me-"

"Yes... He has a frail stomach, that's why that fish food is important. We almost lost him once, I don't want to see him suffering anymore."

I couldn't believe what I am hearing, for so long he was hiding such things behind those smiles. Poor Yohan, I'm so insensitive for not realizing and selfish for thinking I was the only one in pain; truth to be told he was experiencing something that no one couldn't fathom and struggling to survive by fish food. And on top of that, he was pretending to be just fine when we ate at his uncle's restaurant, it must be hard trying to suppress the pain just so he could blend in with us without destroying the good atmosphere. How can I be so naïve? I grit my teeth for the unbearable pain that suddenly crushed my chest, I failed miserably in becoming someone worthy to be beside Yohan. The frustration is overwhelming me, if only I wasn't so self-centered maybe I had a chance, even if it is an ounce, in liking me. Maybe if I noticed it sooner...

"I understand, I'll bring it no matter what. Thank you, I'll do anything for Yohan's sake."

I held her hand before rushing out towards home to take it, if this is what will save him from his suffering then I must give it to him no matter what; for the sake of the one I love the most, even if I am no more worthy of being by his side, I will do anything even if it means to defy death itself. That is my resolve, the resolve of a maiden truly in love.

Elise sat there, tilting her head trying to cope up

"Huh? Were we talking about Yohan?"