CHAPTER 309: I Could Have Done Better

Hunter went out for some fresh air to the balcony of the bar they were in.

It was facing the vast forest and there was endless darkness but the moon shining down from above gave it a different glow that one couldn't help but be mesmerized by it.

At the same time, groups of fireflies could be seen flying around the grasses.

So despite all the darkness, it was a scenery that is beautiful enough, the reason why a balcony was on this side of the bar.

"Can I join you, your highness?"

Hunter turned to see Hans.

Hunter gestured that it was fine.

"I am curious about one thing," he went straight to the point.

Hunter glanced at him.

"I understand why Drake and Saphira couldn't really get close to us. But somehow I wonder what is it that makes you stay away from us?"

Hunter raised an eyebrow.

"I didn't mean to offend you or anything your highness. Our faces are enough to create so many misunderstandings at this moment that we really couldn't leave our own kingdom to help in other places. People sees us as an enemy despite the fact that we do our best to save as many people as we can. It's just..."

He didn't continue but there was sadness in his face.

Somehow Hunter understood what he was saying.

Just like when Saphira broke down and begged the world to see them as humans with emotions. Kara and Hans must be the same.

Just like how Saphira and the Fiamma family were looked unfavorably because of what Raynisha have done, Hans and Kara must be the same.

The fault of the ones who had their faces were being passed on to them especially by people who didn't really have people to vent out on.

And seeing someone who knew they weren't those type of people being cold towards them, Hans seemed to want to know the reason.

"..."

Hunter sipped on his mug as he watched the fireflies lit up a bit of space in the dark night.

Hans didn't push him to answer and silently accompanied him in drinking outside.

"When disappointment reached its peak, you will start to not feel anything for that person. You start having no more expectations and simply interact with them because it is needed."

Hans looked at Hunter upon hearing his answer.

Hunter sighed, "No one knew about it. More like, no one really realized it. But there is only three people I looked up the most. One is my brother who was never tainted by negativity, who strives to be better and was capable of seeing the good and the bad at the same time the good in the bad. And the others..."

"Were Raynisha and Ardel," Hans continued.

Hunter nodded his head.

"Raynisha who was valiant but warm. Ardel who was strong but gentle. They have the characteristics I wish sometimes I had."

He looked at Hans, who was just a bit taller than him.

"I wish I was truly stronger that I can protect the ones I cherish but at the same I will be able to support them without reserve..."

He slowly shook his head, "I can treat my friends with punishment once they cross the line but at times, I wish I could me gentler and not hurt them in any way."

When Saphira was involved, he could even hurt his friends emotionally.

He wouldn't think about it if it was physically. But when it comes to the emotional aspect, he wished he wouldn't inflict more.

Ardel was the one who showed it the most.

He was harsh in giving them the punishment when they did something wrong but he was also the first one to explain to them why it has to be that harsh.

Hunter couldn't do it, he couldn't explain because of his character.

Drake and the rest would surely understand but not all the time.

He knew that they think he was unfair for always prioritizing Saphira, and he wouldn't deny that. It's just sometimes he was also doing the punishment for them to see what they did wrong.

"And you became disappointed to the point of no turning back after everything that happened," Hans continued.

Hunter took a deep breath before drinking everything that was on his mug.

"To lose oneself to darkness, it was the worst. To kill the other due to the darkness, was even worse than the worst."

"I can hear that you are only speaking of Raynisha. What makes you so disappointed about the other?"

Hunter pursed his lips, he have not spoke about this even to Saphira, yet here he is speaking about it towards this person who looks like the person he gave up expecting anything from.

"Might be because of an accident but the one reason I look up to him was gone for a year or two. I kept expecting and being disappointed to the point that I found myself no longer expecting anything from them."

At this moment, it was only his brother whom he looked up to.

Hans went silent and no longer said anything.

Hunter didn't want to hear anything more either that he was grateful Hans chose not to say anything else.

Saphira who was able to hear their conversation looked even more conflicted.

She didn't know Hunter's sentiments and at this moment, it was her who was actually hurting him the most.

The things he believed in and the things he became disappointed about, everything was because of her.

Without them noticing that she was there, Saphira turned to leave the bar and to breath some fresh air on her own.

She had been accepting his support all this time not knowing that the greatest secret she was keeping was actually the one that caused him so much.

If she could just be honest and tell him everything then he wouldn't be carrying such emotional baggage.

Only if she was emotionally stronger then she would be able to support him more.

'I could have done better.'