New starting

what does it feels to be a weak useless? everyone has a dream to achieve when it comes to me i don't have an options. choices have consequences and i don't need to face them cause i didn't had any reason. when ever i feels bored i simply look up to others sneak what they are doing, but anyways they are just a bunch of trashes and some times they thinks only about them, they are selfish and self desired and cunning and they are humans. There are 8 billion population in this world but never wonder why humans believe in a fake god and fake faith than believing others who are close to them. They don't have their own ideologies they just imitiate one after one and that makes them boring. I had losted my interests this world their laws, money, influence, beauty, colour, class everything where messed up. Truth be told the world has lost humanity when humans were borned.

I was an orphan who was raised by an oldman but he died 2 years ago and the only one who i love was him after he passed away realises there is nothing i can do here in this world in this age in this time.

Oldman always says money is the most important thing in this world but some says love is the most important one but can a love exist without money?

The last words of my oldman was live your life as happy as your wish at to it's extend. Till the day I'm asking myself from morning to night day to day minutes to minutes what i need to do to be happy? when does a man become happy? It's been 2 years I'm searching for an answer which i couldn't find yet. I can't understand whats does that old man means

There's nothing special about being born. Not a thing. Most of the universe is just death, nothing more. In this universe of ours, the birth of a new life on some corner of our planet is nothing but a tiny, insignificant flash. Death is a normal thing. So why we live? Is there an end of all this? Is all humans are truely equal?