Chapter Hundred and Twenty three

When I came downstairs I couldn't believe what I saw... Emily has done great work in the house. She had spent her time decorating all the place, I couldn't have the smile on my face. When did she do all this I should have helped but I was busy sleeping that damn drug I caused, walking around the house, It was beautiful and I was sure that Sunny was going to love it so much I had bought a lot of things. Gift bags, a sort of toys, and the house were all in punk decoration this was my daughter's seventh birthday and I'm going to make her enjoy every moment of it.

I just wish she would come downstairs with a surprised expression and run to hug me when she had seemed to all but she wasn't here, she was far away from me. I wouldn't let anything spoil my day, I was going to be happy for my daughter. I moved to where a big seven balloon was kept and position it well.

 "Thanks, Emily" I muttered and raised my gaze to the quiet house, I just wanted it to be fuller with laughter and family chatters but... I dragged my fingers through my hair and exhale sharply and headed toward the kitchen, I was going to keep myself busy in baking the kid since I have to pick my daughter's cup in the evening.

I spent the next two hours of my time baking a perfect cake for my daughter, I just couldn't wait to see the cute smile on her face. I was feeling much joy this morning and my head feel as light as the wind no much thought even when I tried to it just feels light it was awesome but the dream... I shook my head off it and did a final touch decoration on the cake. "That's it, perfect for Sunny"  I walked out from the kitchen and found that the day has just gotten started. I have to get myself occupied till the exact time that I would ring my daughter to the house. 

I showered and dressed and first stop by an eatery to eat some bacon and coffee, I had dropped a thanks message for Emily and now I'm heading toward the place I thought would be best to spend the rest of my day since I was given days off from work and the only thing I want is just to spend time alone now I feel very detached with people I feel something is obstructing in between making me keep a far distance. They don't understand my pain and I also don't understand theirs, so the best thing to do is to distance myself so we could deal with our pain differently.

I drove to the place that Andrew has taken me a place where I have found peace, a place where the view was mesmerizing. I parked my car at the find end and made it wat toward the ocean and did my best to avoid the rock that was on the ground. I stopped to take off my sandals and walked barefoot to the mouth of the ocean where I dug my feet in the cold sand and allow the cold to send shivers all over my body.

I had missed being here, it was one of the best places that Andrew had shown me, I stood for a while and gaze at the water, the calm and violent wave. A minute of being calm and then the next of violent coming back to the land to wash a bit things away before going back to the sea. I stood and watch and felt so much like winning it, without much thought, I pulled out my cloth and toss on the rock and went deep and allowed the water to cover my bare breast. I stayed for a while enjoying the feel of the water all over my body, It was blissful I should do this a lot of times I thought feeling my head in the water and swimming but not daring to move far to the deepest part.

I won't allow myself to get drowned on the day of my daughter's birthday, I laughed at the thought and turn my back to the water while I float on the water looking up to the sky. I believe that a supreme being till my daughter was taken away for me then I stopped believing in anything but I wouldn't keep lying to myself on not believing because I know he true exist, I couldn't pray that much but please when I'm gone I want him to look after my daughter. Then for the moment I was lost looking up at the sky and wondering nothing in particular. 

I stayed in the water for a few more hours till I couldn't feel my feet and arms, I got out and dressed but sat at the rock and fixed my gaze at the water, what would happen when I'm gone. My daughter would miss me so much but I would always reach out to her and Andrew wherever you are just know that I still miss and think about you. I wish that Sunny hadn't left us then we would have stuck together. 

"But when she left everything...everything didn't feel right again, I felt like the worst mother not fighting back for her for leaving my daughter and allowing that monster take my daughter from me. 

It hurts so bad walking up in the morning without my daughter beside me without hearing her laughter, that's why...that" a why I have to leave" I stood up and focused my gaze one more time at the ocean before I turned back and headed back to my car to see my daughter, the excitement kept me going. Just the thought I would see my daughter happy all mother knows the joy of this watching their child happy face.

I drove straight to Sam's house to pick up my daughter, I couldn't wait for Sunny to see the surprise at home. The gate pulled open when I drove in, I parked my car and headed toward the house. Anxious to meet my baby, I pulled the door opened and immediately my eyes scan the house. It was a massive decoration with all kinds of children's toys, it looks like a children's festive hall...

"Mummy, I heard my daughter's excited voice and toward it and saw her running to me, I had to bend down and open my arms  " Happy birthday baby" I kissed her forehead and cheeks. "Happy Birthday my love". " Thanks mummy" she smiled, she look more beautiful with a designed braid hair I smiled at how big my daughter was growing "Close your eyes for Mummy I told her and turned her around. " Are you sure mum" she laughed, it was like one of the best music and tears formed in my eyes   "Okay my eyes are close" she laugh "Are you sure? Hope you're not peeking?  " No, Mum, I promise I'm not peeking"

"Okay, here I go,"  said taking out a necklace I had bought for her, it was a silver heart necklace but the heart was divided. I slipped bit across getting neck and turning her back to face me. "I'm done you can open your eyes now" Het eyes snapped open immediately and she looked down on her neck and saw the silver necklace. "It's beautiful," She said looking up at me. "That's why I bought It for you because you're beautiful," I told her and watch her admire the necklace on her neck. "Mum, she called holding it up for me to see. " But it half, it divided," she said with a worried face. 

"Do you want to see something?  She nodded with a wide eye. " Mummy is going to show you something very interesting," I said taking out my necklace and placing it on the side of own her necklace "And... It's completed now" I showed her and watched her big smile "You have the other half! She screamed in excitement. "Yes, mum has the other half" "wow, it's beautiful, I watched her take hers and place it on mine. " It's completed again, she smiled excitedly. "Yeah, it's complete now that's mean I'm the other half while you're the other". " I love it Mummy" she smiled hugging me with her tiny arms. 

"Mum loves you more just know that and never forget my love for you is so strong and unbreakable and I want yours to be that way" I kissed her cheeks, forehead, and her nose and watched her giggle before standing up and seeing Tara watching us with her arm tugged to get side."That's a nice gift you have there" She said with a hard glare. "I'm here to take my daughter with me and if you could allow me, I want to get her dress" I ignored get word and take my daughter's hand and waited till she made way for me toward Sunny's room.

"You're going to see something that holds more value than the cheap pieces of Jewelry you gave her" she whispered and I acted as If I didn't hear any word she said and took my daughter up to her room and got stunned seeing the room with a pile of wrapped gifts box. "Aunt Tara bought all this for me even dad took me to see the big show in LA the previous week, it was fun mum". " That's the nice baby I'm very happy they're taking care of you, come I'm going to dress my beautiful daughter" 

When we were done, we headed out but she stopped me.  "Are you okay? I asked bending over toward my daughter. " Mum, promise you'll always visit me". My heart broke hearing it.  I couldn't promise her knowing very much that would break the promise. I brought her close and kissed her hair. "Of course, Mummy will always visit you" I smiled and took get a hand in mine before standing and walking downstairs toward the exit without even caring about the fact that Tara was still downstairs.

She was my daughter and I don't owe anybody any explanation "Mummy where are you taking me? Sunny asked by going excitedly toward the car. "Mummy is going to surprise you, so I won't tell you anything now" I smiled and watch her frown, It made me remember the night I gift her a teddy bear, she had frowned when I told her about her surprise. "Sunny, I called getting her attention  " You don't have to frown when I tell you about surprise all you have to know is that you're going to love it and you just have to wait and be patient.

"Yes mummy, but how did you know I'm going to love the surprise? I oped the car and let her enter and moved to the other side of mine. " Because I know my daughter more than you can ever guess" I laughed starting the car. "Just be patient as mum told you, you're going to love it". " Okay, mum" she clapped excitedly making me turn away from the road look at getting a beautiful face, how can that monster take away what's mine. I want you back and I'm going to fight to win you back because no matter where I go and how far it was I still love you more than you can imagine.

"Sunny, I called " Yes mummy, are we close to there" I shook my head. "Just want to tell you're my world and Mummy loves you so much". " I love you too, she reached close to me and peek me on the cheeks making me smile. "And mummy do you know what? I shook my head. " What? I asked. "You look so beautiful today" I laugh and pulled her cheek playfully with my free hand. "You too baby"