70 Onigashima

Zeus reappeared on the deck of the Sunny and settled with the rest of the crew as he grinned and said "Hey!" the rest smiled and Luffy cheered "Let's go!" Zeus grinned and brought Bonney and Persephone to the rooms before closing the door in Robin's room.

They reverted and Zeus said seriously "Stay here. This is not a joke. No matter what happens you stay in here, understand?" Bonney and Persephone nodded and Zeus let out a breath of relief and smiled "Good. Wait for my good news~" he chuckled before leaving the room and returning to the deck.

Zeus stood next to the rest as he said "Oh by the way. I didn't want to say anything before because there was a rat but I took Orochi's fruit from him." the crew gasped and Robin said "It worked?!" Zeus grinned and whistled as he stuck his hand out.

The fruit fell into his hands and said "Sure did! I don't know what to-" the fruit flew out of his hands and merged into Usopp's slingshot. The crew's eyes widened and Zeus' jaw fell to the ground in shock.

Usopp's Kuro Kabuto trembled and turned into an 8 headed black snake with crosshairs in each of the eyes before coiling around Usopp's arm. Usopp almost cried and the snake turned into an array of 8 separate slingshots in front of Usopp.

The crew was stunned once more and the slingshot heads could move as well. Zeus slapped himself and then Usopp before saying excitedly "You're a moving 360 degree turret!" Usopp, himself was stunned as he looked at the 8 moving slingshots.

Usopp said "Woah!" Luffy said "COOL!" the rest nodded, even Zeus was completely shocked. He never saw a weapon eat a devil fruit before! Usopp said "Go back!" the slingshot turned back into an 8 headed snake and coiled around Usopp's arm before perching on his shoulder.

Zeus said "You have to name it!" the rest nodded.

Luffy said "Snake soup!"

Chopper said "Cotton Candy Destroyer!"

Franky said "New Battle Franky Snake Gang Champion!"

Zoro said "Sake shooter"

Sanji said "Monsieur Snake"

Nami said "Money Shot!"

Brook said "Bone rattler"

Robin said "8 headed heaven swallowing serpent of death"

Zeus said "Lightning Abyss!"

The crew looked at Robin and Zeus, the two said "What?" the rest shook their heads and Usopp said "How about Hachi Kabuto!" Hachi Kabuto hissed, apparently it liked that name. Zeus and Robin sighed, apparently it didn't like their names.

Franky scoffed and said "I guess it doesn't like cool names!" the rest nodded and Usopp had black lines on his forehead, he was about to say something but the ship started moving. Suddenly a snail started ringing.

Zeus pulled a snail out and said "Yo." Garp's voice came over and he said "Where are you?" Zeus looked around and said "This reminds me of 2 years ago! Hahaha" the crew smiled and Luffy said "Don't tell Gramps I'm here!"

Zeus felt his mouth twitch and Garp said "Oh? Why not? Don't like talking to grandpa?!" Luffy shivered and said "Of course I do! You're the best smelly grandpa I got!" Garp snapped "I'm the only grandpa you got, brat!"

Zeus chuckled and said "Speak, old man. I got stuff to do! Kinda in the middle of an action scene here." Garp coughed and said "I heard you had troubles with the hag. Her and Kaido formed and alliance."

Zeus nodded and said "I know. I'm in Wano right now about to go fight them both at the same time. Is that all?" Garp choked an he snapped "WHAT?!" the crew laughed and Zeus grinned "Yeah! Kaido is a big dragon, I'm a big dragon. There can be only one!"

Luffy complained "I want Kaido!" Zeus snapped "You got Kaido before!" Luffy shouted "That didn't count!" Garp had black lines on his forehead and Zeus said seriously "We'll settle it the old way." Luffy narrowed his eyes and nodded.

The crew felt a strange atmosphere form and Nami said "You shouldn't fight now! We're about t-" Zeus held up his hand and said "It must be done!" he gave the snail to Brook and said "Tell the old man a joke, he might have a heart attack in a minute."

Brook was stunned and said "Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?" Garp was silent for a moment before saying solemnly "Why." Brook said "Because he didn't have the guts." the whole ship was silent until the snail burst out laughing.

Zeus and Luffy stood in front of each other and raised their fists before bringing them down and... playing rock, paper, scissors. The rest of the crew fell down and Zeus' hand showed scissors and Luffy's hand showed rock.

Zeus cursed "Fuck! He always picks rock! I thought he would do something different!" Luffy grinned and chuckled saying "I win!" Zeus grumbled and said "Whoopie, round two with the old hag..." Brook handed Zeus the, still laughing, snail and Zeus said "Peace old man! I'm going to fight two old farts just like you!"

Garp choked back his laughter and said "What old fart!? I'm still young and handsome!" Zeus 'pffft'd and sneered "If you're handsome than I must be God." Zeus paused and Robin said "Don't.." Zeus laughed and said "Ahh! I finally realized it! I'm so handsome, that I have my own category! Godly Handsomeness! Bwahahaha" he was immediately pummeled by the crew, a little bit longer this time.

Zeus got back up and said "Alright Old man. See you for real this time." Garp said "Be careful, both of you." before hanging up. Zeus threw the snail into the cloud and said "Seems like gramps has a heart after all!" Luffy grinned and said "Let's gooooooooooooooooooooooooo!"

The Sunny felt his excitement and burst through the cave, shooting into the air, before appearing on the sea along side Kid's ship.

Zeus looked over at Kid and grinned "Hey champ! Want to Marry Shiruton?" Kid choked and Killer coughed under his mask, Zeus burst out laughing and turned to the beast pirates ships. Zeus got an idea and ran over to Franky before whispering something, Franky grinned and nodded.

Zeus burst out laughing and ran to the front of the Sunny. He jumped on the Lion's head and said "You ready Sunny?" he could've sworn he heard an excited roar, Zeus chuckled and put his hands together before spreading them apart and throwing the two opposite spinning rings in front of the Sunny's open mouth.

Franky grinned madly and said "Rail Gaon Cannon! Engage!" the front of the Sunny light up and the Gaon Cannon shot through the two rings before expanding by 10 times after it passed through them.

A huge beam of light completely annihilated the Beast Pirates' ships. Zeus had his mouth wide open, so did everyone else who just witnessed that. Even the Sunny had it's mouth wide open, whether Franky forgot to close it or the Sunny was just shocked was up in the air.

Zeus burst out laughing like a psychopath and spread his arms out, thunder spears materialized in the air and rained down on the rest of the Beast Pirates' ships as Zeus' maniacal laughter echoed across the battle field.

Completely decimation. The Beast Pirates didn't even stand a chance.

Jinbe hopped on the deck and said "I guess I wasn't needed.." the crew hugged him and cheered. Zeus grinned and drank from his gourd as he said "Let's party!" the crew cheered again and made a beeline to Onigashima, Kid's ship following after them.

The Sunny sailed past all the wreckage and Zeus threw thunder spears at them in rage, taking everything out on them as he said "Stupid bastards! I have to fight the old hag! It's all your fault!" the crew smiled wryly and slowly backed away from the madman, while Luffy just laughed on the side.

After a while

The Sunny docked at Onigashima and everyone got off. Zeus stopped and said "Shiruton!" Shiruton appeared and Zeus said seriously "Stay here and guard the ship. Do not! and I repeat! Do not! Let those two out of the ship! Do you understand?!" his tone was ruthless and cold, Shiruton saluted and nodded before sitting on the deck of the Sunny.

Zeus let out a breath and joined the rest as they drank and ate, celebrating Jinbe's return. The rest of the allies joined them and Kin'emon disguised them all into Beast Pirate outfits.

Zeus' was the most drastic. He had giant cambion horns on his forehead and leather shoulder guards with a ring in the middle of his chest, connected to 4 leather straps. Leather pants and giant leather boots. He even had a muzzle on.

Zeus deadpanned looking at himself. Robin patted his head and giggled "Good boy~" Zeus almost lost it and stormed off into the base ripping the muzzle off saying "That old bitch is going to die today!"

Luffy and Kid ran after him saying "Wait for me!" Zoro sighed and said "I'll keep watch.." as he went after them as well.

When the 3 got into the base, they ran into a room to see Queen dancing and saying "I got that Funk!" Luffy saw someone spill Red bean soup and joke about giving it to the literal starving people. Luffy lost it and attacked him, Kid attacked Apoo and Zeus cupped his hands over his mouth and shouted "Your Funk is trash!"

Queen turned and said "Who said that!?" Zeus pointed at a Beast Pirate and said excitedly "He did! I saw him do it!" Queen attacked and Zeus darted around the crowd shouting "Bar fight!" the scene immediately became chaotic and Beast Pirates started fighting each other, Zeus grinned at his successful scheme and started punching the people next to him, sending them flying through others.

Zoro cut the building in half and looked around before saying "What the fuck is going on here?!" Luffy said "This guy's wasting food!" Kid said "This bastard betrayed me!" Zeus burst out laughing and said "Sword fight!" the Beast Pirates took out their weapons and started fighting each other.

Zeus was laughing and slashing people in half with a pitch black Tengoku, the sword buzzed excitedly and Zeus grinned as he went, killing with every step and not even batting an eye.

Zoro joined in and started cutting Beast Pirates apart, making his way to Luffy, who was still beating up the two guys who spilled food and made a joke.

Queen suddenly stood up, at his feet was the guy Zeus pointed at, he looked around and realized "Everyone stop!" the Beast Pirates stopped with confused looks, one of them said "What's wrong Queen-sama?"

Queen slapped that guy into his next life, if you wanted to know, he went on to reincarnate into a scientist who won a nobel prize for his work.

After slapping the Nobel Prize winner

Queen said "Something is wrong here! Why are you all fighting?" Someone pointed at Zeus and said "He said bar fight, so we just started fighting." Queen slapped him as well, War hero, and said "Idiot! Do you just fight whenever some one says bar fight!?"

The Beast Pirates immediately started fighting again and Queen shouted "ENOUGH!" and slapped 3 more people, World Peace maker, Angel, solved world hunger.

Queen said "He's not even in our crew! He's the King of the Underworld!" the rest of the Beast pirates gasped, the woman next to Zeus cried and said "You said your name was Jim!" before fainting.

Zeus chuckled and touched his nose, his costume disappeared and Zeus' black shirt, jumpsuit, sneakers, and hat appeared as he said "You found me! Unfortuately.." his voice turned sinister as he said "There's no prize!"

Zeus sheathed Tengoku and flashed in front of Queen. Zeus kicked him in the head saying "And I was the one who said your funk was trash too!" Queen gasped and was sent flying through the walls. Luffy, Zoro, and Kid started fighting again with grins.

Zeus grinned and grasped a spear as he crouched and rested it on his shoulder, turning it black, saying "Who's next~" the Beast Pirates shivered, Zeus laughed eerily and swung the spear in a circle, Haki flowing from the tip, it was ryou!

Zeus thrusted the spear through the circle and a massive thunder shot, blasted forward, blowing up a crowd of Beast Pirates and causing a loud boom.

Zeus burst out laughing and started throwing thunder spears at everything. The other 3, not wanted to fall behind, started attacking faster.

Zeus walked forward towards Kaido's mansion and Luffy directly blew away a group of Beast Pirates before running forward saying "KAAAIIDDDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" and sticking his tongue out at Zeus.

Zeus grit his teeth and chased after him snarling "BASTARD!" before his voice boomed "You fat old bitch get the fuck out here! I'm not done with you yet!" his voice only traveled forward, so the girls on the Sunny couldn't hear him, but the rest of the crew and allies did and they almost collapsed. What part of sneaking in, did these two not understand?!

Apparently, all of it.

Zeus passed by a brothel and whistled at the giant woman inside. He said "Woah! You're like crazy tall!" the woman smiled and said "Are you're like, crazy small." Zeus clicked his tongue and said "Touche! But you forgot Crazy Handsome!" before continuing along, stunning the woman. She couldn't keep up, that's it? She thought he was going to attack, apparently not.

Actually, Zeus never finished Wano because when he died the arc wasn't over yet. He was in the dark after the scabbards smashed Kaido through a wall and that hadn't happened yet but he also barely paid attention to the other Beast Pirates. So he didn't know that the woman was, in fact, Black Maria.

Zeus thought she was just an ordinary woman and continued on after a small remark about her size. He refused to admit that he immediately thought of sleeping between her breasts, even if you killed him he wouldn't say it. Some things were just better left a secret forever.

Zeus caught up with Luffy, when a person in a mask appeared and smashed Ulti in the head with a mace before saying to Luffy "Come with me! Someone without witnesses!" the person looked at Zeus and said "You too!"

Zeus covered his chest and said "Two at once!? What kind of pervert are you?!" Luffy paled and hid behind Zeus saying "I hate perverts!" Zeus touched his nose, he was a pervert himself! The person almost spat out blood and said angrily "What are you talking about?! I'm not a pervert!"

Luffy and Zeus said at the same time "That's what perverts say!" the person was aggrieved and said "Just come with me!" as she grabbed them both and ran away into the attic of Kaido's mansion.

Zeus and Luffy held each other and said "We're still so young!" Yamato took off her mask and snapped "You bastards! I'm not a pervert!" Zeus punched his palm and said "A girl pervert!" before shaking his head and saying "I have a wife, sorry."

Yamato nearly fainted before saying angrily "I want to join you! Help me take down Kaido!" she told them about Oden and how he was her idol and that she wanted to be like him before taking out a book and showing them the cover 'How to be Oden'.

Zeus scratched his head and said "I haven't seen that one yet." he grabbed the book and read a bit before saying "HUH? I don't want to be boiled!" Yamato was confused and grabbed the book and said "Oh wrong one!" before taking out another one 'How to be Kozuki Oden'.

Zeus grabbed the new one and read it before throwing it aside, the book flew and swiveled back to hit Yamato in the head. She picked it back up and stuffed it into her clothes before saying "Let's join forces!"

Luffy said "No." Zeus said "You want to take down your dad?" Yamato said "WHY!?" before nodding at Zeus.

Luffy picked his nose and said "I don't team up with perverts."

Zeus nodded and said "You're pretty but I already have a wife, so I can't."

Yamato smashed her face with her mace and said "I'M NOT A PERVERT!" Suddenly an announcement sounded out in the attic.

Kaido's voice passed through as he said "I am going to wage war against the World Government after getting the One Piece and Ancient Weapons with Linlin.."

Zeus shouted "I'M GOING TO FIGHT THE WORLD GOVERNMENT!"

Luffy shouted "I'M GOING TO BE THE PIRATE KING!"

The attic floors cracked and all three of them feel to the live stage room. Everyone looked at the 3 and Zeus snapped "You little worm and that fat bitch have to get through me if you want to fight the World Government!"

Luffy snapped "ME TOO! ONLY I CAN BE THE PIRATE KING!" as he ripped Yamato's handcuffs right off and threw them at Kaido and Big Mom. A huge explosion occurred and Yamato said "THEY WERE REAL?!" Luffy was stunned and Zeus chuckled.

The smoke cleared and the scabbards appeared, minus Kanjuro. They all attacked Kaido angrily, managing to pierce his skin and shove him out of the building.

Zeus watched in amazement, he was now in the dark. He looked over at Big Mom provocatively and said "Hey you old hag! Long time no see!" Big Mom was enraged and said "Zeeeeussss!"

Zeus grinned and said "Get any reports from Tottoland recently?" he clicked his tongue and said "You really shouldn't leave your own territory unguarded." Big Mom's eyes turned red as she said "What did you do?!"

Zeus burst out laughing and said "I robbed you blind and destroyed your castle! HAHAHAHA I took everything! Even your Poneglyph! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA" Big Mom shrieked "ZEUS!" and her fist turned black as she punched at the laughing Zeus, dropping Nami and Carrot.

Zeus choked and jumped over her fist landing on her arm as he clicked his tongue and said "Your skin isn't soft at all, you should moisturize." further enraging Big Mom as Nami burst out laughing uncontrollably before covering her mouth and getting away from Big Mom.

Zeus ran up her arm and whispered into her ear "I took Rocks too~ He's long gone! Bwahahahaha" Big Mom screamed "I'M GONNA KILL YOU!" Zeus flashed on top of her head and said "You gotta catch me first! Also, you look kinda tired. You know, you'll get wrinkles if you don't sleep. I mean you already have a lot but you don't want more right?"

Big Mom tried to grab Zeus but he flashed to a different part of her body every time. Zeus jumped on her chest and complained "You old bitch! You're sagging already?! I can't even bounce on you! What are you good for other than pumping out kids?!"

The rest of the crew arrived and heard Zeus' words and were immediately stunned, the Beast Pirates had already fainted a long time ago. Luffy and Yamato were gone towards Kaido and Nami and Carrot were fighting against the remaining Beast Pirates as Zeus angered Big Mom to death.

Big Mom was so angry she coughed up blood.

Zeus flashed back to her head and said in disgust "I'm going to get HIV if that stuff touches me, watch were you spit jeez.." he grabbed her hair and tugged on it but nothing happened, he let it go and grumbled "So Ratatouille was a lie? How disappointing..."

Big Mom screeched and shot out a burst of Conqueror's Haki, when had she been humiliated like this?! She was beyond angry at the moment. Zeus lit a cigarette and flashed in front of her face, his arm turned black and he slapped her.

There was a pause for a second, before Big Mom went flying like a rocket. Through 3 buildings, in fact. It was really bad, the architect would probably cry if he knew.

Zeus exhaled a mouthful of smoke and said "Noisy. I was having fun, where do you get off spreading that pathetic Haki? I have Haki projection now, whore. You're mine today." Big Mom got up and slashed forward with her hat sword.

Zeus unsheathed Tengoku and blocked Napoleon as he grunted. Zeus took a drag as he bumped Napoleon off with Tengoku before slashing upwards, leaving a trail of Haki as he did. A black crescent moon shot forward and Big Mom blocked it with Napoleon but still skidded back.

Zeus grinned but soon froze and got angry.

Bonney and Persephone ran in and looked at Zeus in relief. Bonney ran over to him and said "I wanted to see if you were okay! I heard a bunch of explosions and-"

Suddenly the roof collapsed and Kaido saw Big Mom behind held off by Zeus before he turned his attention to Bonney and grinned maliciously as he swept his tail through the building aiming it right at Bonney.

Zeus was about to move when Big Mom slashed Napoleon at him and laughed sadistically. Zeus was forced to block Big Mom's slash as he screamed "BONNEY!"

Kaido's tail was about to smash Bonney and Zeus felt like time froze.

(Author's Note)

I'm a complete bastard eh? Sunacchi!

You can check out my OTHER books while you wait:

One Piece: Another Chance (Completed)

Saiyan in Marvel (Completed)

My Hero Academia: Quirkless

One Piece: Price of Freedom

One Piece: Shadow King

Another Dragonball Adventure

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