Accident and an Argument

"Hey, Bella, you mind telling Charlie that I'm gonna be out tonight? I'm gonna be visiting my sister and then the reservation," I said to my cousin who looked slightly absentminded.

Not getting a reply, I waved a hand in front of her face and she jumped before spinning towards me. She pulled her earphones out, "Will? Did you say something? Sorry, I had my music turned up pretty loud," she apologized with a half smile, biting her lip like she usually did when she got nervous or socially anxious.

Smiling I gave her a reassuring look, "No worries, Bells. I just said that I'm gonna be out for tonight, so can you tell Charlie that I won't be back until late?" I asked.

"Yeah, sure...say, Will?" she asked and I raised an eyebrow, signalling for her to carry on, "Where do you go every day? You're never in the house unless you're sleeping...why is that?" she asked and despite it being an innocent question, I felt a spike of annoyance build up inside me.

Annoyance at myself mainly.

Annoyed at myself because I couldn't answer such a simple question and had to keep where I was going a secret from everyone but Charlie. It annoyed me because I ended up ignoring Edythe earlier for practically the same question. All I have to say to these questions is a dumbed down version of the truth. 'My family got in an accident' or 'My sister is in hospital' would do perfectly fine.

But no, I can't do something like that. Too much guilt and anger built up inside me has restricted my ability to talk about it without turning into a ball of volatile wrath that lashes out.

And right now, with my body how it is and the changes taking place, I can't let myself do that.

"I've got stuff to do that's outside the house, I guess," I shrugged, deflecting the topic...but Bella didn't let up one bit.

"But what EXACTLY is it that you do outside the house? What is stuff?" she asked.

The annoyance had built up into anger and my fists were clenched so tightly that if it weren't for the hardened skin brought on by a week and a few days of Phasing, I'd have cut my palms open.

Turning to Bella, I glowered down at her. I was a solid foot taller than her and nearly twice as wide. To say I was intimidating to her right now, would be an understatement. "Bella, just keep out of my business, yeah?" I got out in a low voice, barely above a growl but still having that gutteral sound to it, "I don't put in on your business, so stay out of mine," I finished with a scoff before whipping away.

I saw a flash of worry in Bella's eyes which made me feel regret for my brutal approach but when her hand grabbed my wrist, I felt close to snapping.

I shouldn't be mad. I should feel heartwarmed that the cousin I've barely known for a week cares this much. I shouldn't feel annoyed or angry or frustrated. I should feel calm and just explain to her that it's a deeply personal matter and that I'll tell her when I'm ready.

But the beast inside me wouldn't allow that. It roared and it growled but it did not speak. It did pride and ferocity but it did not do calm or understanding.

Snatching my wrist away from Bella, I looked over my shoulder at her, glaring. Just as I was about to speak, I heard tire screeches.

I froze. My feet felt like they were stuck in mud mixed with sticky tar.

For the first time in a week I felt cold. Freezing cold. Like my blood was the coldest of waters. Like it was about to freeze over. My muscles and joints locked up like rusty machines and I could do nothing to move them.

Everything but my neck.

I craned my neck to the side, looking at what was coming.

A van.

But in my head, it was an 18-wheeler. Driven by a drunken, half-asleep man who was drifting into the wrong lane who kept making over-corrections to his driving which made him swerve back and forth.

I wasn't in the parking lot for Forks Highschool anymore either.

I was on the road to a family holiday with my dad, Terry Riley, my mom, Helena Riley and formerly Helena Swan, my dad's brother, Mike Riley and my older sister Jess.

I was in the back, moping about not being able to go to a party because I was forced onto this camping trip. Jess was trying to cheer me up and my uncle was teasing me like he usually did. But it was at this point when I realized I wasn't actually here. I was having a flashback.

Everything was fuzzy and I couldn't control my body.

I tried to scream, to shout, to howl and holler at my dad to stop the car. To avoid the thing that was about to happen...

But nothing worked. I just sat there, trapped in my own body, forced to know what was about to happen. To relive it.

Within a minute, my mom had taken off her seatbelt and maneuvered herself around to look at me. She was trying to coax a smile out of me, to cheer me up - she knew how much I wanted to go to that party. The worst part was that she had to speak to me like I was a child. A spoilt little child that had too much privelige and too little discipline.

That's when it happened.

Dad tried to swerve out of the way of the truck that suddenly swerved into our lane. It didn't work.

The truck hit my mom's side of the car. The sudden stop rocketed her back, yanking her away from me. That was the last time I saw my mom alive. Her head hit the windscreen, smashing through it, the blunt force practically cracked her head open along with the big pieces of glass that stabbed through her face, ripping it up.

The truck's momentum carried it and it cleaved through the front part of the car, right toward my dad.

I watched my dad get squeezed to death by the steering wheel pressed into and through his chest along with hearing his legs and lower body getting squashed into mush.

Some sort of metal shot through the windscreen and went right into my uncle's head. Nothing gory. He just stopped moving and at that point, I knew I'd lost three of my family members. Everything was moving in slow motion for me right now.

Worst of all? Nothing happened to me.

Not. Even. One. Fucking. Scratch.

The only thing that happened was my head got held between the car frame and some metal that came through the roof of the car. Meaning? I couldn't look away. Not even a little. I either closed my eyes and saw the replay or I kept my eyes open and saw the aftermath of my mom, dad and uncle's deaths.

Jess, who was sitting behind our dad, was all cut up. Her legs were caught behind dad's chair and they looked pretty banged up. It was only until later that I found out that they'd been crushed.

I was there for 2 hours, looking at my dead family members and unsure on the status of my sister.

2 hours kept in place by the metal of the car. Looking. Searing the images into my brain.

With a flash, I was back in the parking lot, watching the van coming at me fast enough to flattern someone. So, I did exactly what I wanted to do while I was in that car all those weeks ago:

I got away.

I jumped backward, over the first part of the truck before I landed in the back. Yet I didn't feel like this was good enough, so I kicked off again, blasting myself even further away and from both the truck and the van.

But it was at that point that I realized that Bella was in the direct line of the van. She'd die.

I didn't want to see it. I didn't want to see another person die. I went to take a step forward...and yet I couldn't. My muscles locked up and no matter how much I screamed at them and myself to move, I just...couldn't.

Despaired, I thought I was about to see another family member die in front of me.

However, a blur sped past the parking lot. I could barely keep up with it, so most of the people around the parking lot wouldn't notice or see it at all. But I could.

Vampire.

The blurred Vampire quickly showed itself to be Edward Cullen.

Just as the van was about to hit, he curled around Bella, keeping her safe and then placed his hand out. With a dull thud reminescent of metal hitting metal, the van came to an abrupt stop.

. . .

Sitting down in the hospital waiting room, I had my head in my hands.

I...I couldn't believe I did what I did. Get away from it, sure...but abandon Bella because of my cowardice? I...

I felt shameful. Embarrassed with myself, even.

I'd been so decisive in getting away, in abandoning an innocent girl who was also my younger cousin, that I couldn't think of myself as...well, anything good anymore. On top of the shame and embarrassment, wa-was disgust. I was disgusted with myself for running away the way I did.

"Will...?" a voice I didn't want to hear the most right now, entered my ears and I looked up.

Edythe.

I just put my head back down, not wanting to see how she looked at me. I didn't want to see how anyone looked at me right now. But especially Edythe.

She'd no doubt seen it. My cowardice.

So much pain wracked through me right now that I just wanted to tear it out and rip it apart, just so I could have some peace.

A cold hand was put on my shoulder, followed by a light gasp, "Will, how did you do what you did? You jumped a straight 8 feet into the air...how?" she asked and I found myself looking at the palm of my hands with disbelief building up in my head.

"That's what you want to ask...?" I whispered partly to myself and to her.

She heard me but tried to play it up, "Did you just say something, Will? I didn't hear it," she said with a soft voice that I wanted so dearly to soothe away the pain and conflict inside my head.

But right now it only brought more conflict.

"I said, that's what you want to ask? Not why I was a coward who left his cousin to get squashed by a van?" I asked with spite, both aimed at her and myself, very clear in my voice.

"I mean, you don't have to put it like that, Will," she left her questioning, choosing to help defuse whatever I had going on. I appreciated it, all until she said what she said next which sent me a little over the edge. "At least you're fine though, right? Both of you are fine, I mean," she said and I instantly looked up at her, my eyes narrowed to a dangerous extent and glaring right into her topaz eyes.

"You think I'm fine?" I asked, my brows scrunched together in disbelief, "You call 'this'," I motioned to myself, "Fine?" I ended it with a scoff before standing up and beginning to pace.

All while keeping my gaze from meeting hers.

"William...what I mean is that it's good that you're okay and not injured," she said but I just shook my head in reply, finally turning to meet her gaze again.

"My cowardice nearly got Bella killed. And before you say I couldn't do anything, I was right next to her. I could've gotten us both out of the way. But I didn't," I spat the words like they tasted wrong in my mouth, "Tell me, if you're the only person left, is it all okay just because you're not injured? Say if Bella wasn't saved by your brother Edward and she died, would it all be okay as long as I got out? Hm?" I questioned, walking toward Edythe who'd just gone silent.

Seeing her not answer, I just let out a sigh before all the air left right from underneath me, "That's...that's what I thought," I sighed before turning around and walking away.

Edythe didn't follow me.