Chapter 3 — Vision of the future
Chapter 3 — Vision of the future
I open the door and walk through the same liquid film that had brought me into the "room of murmurs." This time, I am in a large living room with woody colors. Through the windows I can see the countryside as the sun sets, lighting up the room I am in.
The room looks like a normal living room and in one corner I can see a child under five playing on the floor and look at me smiling every now and then.
The scene is … warm. I feel good, like this place is familiar when I have never set foot here. I hardly feel like moving anymore when I can smell a comforting warmth and scent.
However, I know this is just another test. I shake my head quickly to get out of this torpor that just makes me want to go and sit and smile on the couch next to me. I take a few steps forward while gritting my teeth again to focus on the door in front of me and the strange voice at the start of the first test gives me a new instruction.
[Don't touch anything and go through the door if you want to go to the tower.]
Immediately another voice rang out. It is that of my girlfriend who passes in front of me asking for a hand. She is a little older and has a baby in her arms.
If that's what I believe, it's yet another sadistic test that's just playing on my nerves. It is not my girlfriend, nor my childrens. Just a hypothetical view of what might be, but doesn't exist. It just makes me angry and I start walking towards the door in front of me, deciding to ignore what is around me.
"You could answer me at least. Take the child a few moments, I have to take care of something. "
She hands me the baby she is holding and by reflex I almost stretch my arms in her direction. She looks at me without understanding why I hesitate. Part of me wants to do what she asks me to, but the other remembers the rule I heard and I slap myself hard enough that I don't forget what I'm doing. My girlfriend does not react despite the violence of the slap and seems to be waiting for a response.
—Maybe later, I have something else to do.
—As you wish.
Without insisting, she readjusts the baby in her arms, rocking him gently. She then walks over to the other child, humming an old song that we both love. Despite my slap, I start to feel bad. I don't want to leave. It's only an illusion, but it doesn't prevent me from having the feeling of betraying everything that I hope to one day have.
For a few moments, I feel like I'm going to be sick just by thinking that I need to leave. My throat tightens and I want to scream without being able to. I have to move on and stop thinking about it all.
The first step is always the hardest and as this image of my girlfriend continues to hum, the next step is even harder. Am I going to lose all of this if I go to the tower? Does that make me a monster? The colors around me are more and more shimmering and make me want to stay as I take another step forward.
It feels like saying goodbye to this imaginary life and in spite of myself I start to cry as if I betrayed what I believe in.
It's just ridiculous of me to feel that way. I have to pull myself together and move on and not listen to my girlfriend or even the baby's chirps or even the child calling me.
It is not real.
—You're leaving? Be careful on the road and don't come home too late, okay?
—… Yes. I…
I can hardly speak, but it's probably better.
… I could stay a few more minutes here, right? I just don't have to touch anything, right?
No, I cannot. I must not, otherwise I will never leave. It's still not real. My girlfriend is waiting for me in the tower, it's just a test that looks like a dream that I don't want to wake up from. I finally manage to put my shaking hand on the doorknob and manage to open it as my feet are glued to the wooden floor in the living room.
"I love you you know, don't do anything stupid. "
I knock on the door with my fist to finish opening it, cursing the monster that created this damn test. My legs refuse to move forward, but my hand seems to be listening to me. I put it on the doorframe, squeezing with all my strength.
I could turn around and go back to earth and what? If she's in the tower without me, there's no way what I'm seeing will happen. I'd just be alone with no one to curse me for failing at something I couldn't even remember. Alone.
No.
I walk through the door, rubbing my face to make the tears that I wish to deny disappear. Crying for something hypothetical? As if my dreams had ever given me something in the past.
I walk through the door, trying to forget that perfect vision. I fall to the ground while all the sensations I was feeling in this room gradually disappear leaving me alone and abandoned. I hit the stone floor cursing myself and cursing the creator of this "test."
Then, I hear someone writing in front of me and I look up to see a man sitting at a desk glancing in my direction, putting down his pen.
The room is dark and I can't see anything except the desk and the man sitting there. The room does not appear to have a wall and the stone floor is irregular like the one of a cave. The man wears an office suit and has a finely trimmed mustache. He shows me the chair in front of the desk, gesturing for me to sit down. I sit up, rubbing my face once more, hoping that what he tells me will erase what I just experienced.
Since I don't hear any rule and I don't see a door either, I have the impression that it's over and the first voice I hear is his. Not necessarily warm, but at least he seems to have the "professional" side of someone who is used to this kind of situation.
—Take a seat, please. We have quite a few things we need to discuss before you actually enter the tower. It's not an trial so you don't have to be on your guard, but if it helps, pretend it is. I'm only here to check your resolution. Since it was done in the trials, I think, I'm juste here to explain what really awaits you and sign a symbolic contract.
—It is you who have…
—Created your tests? No. I am only a councelor, do not take them personally, the tests are there to ensure your motivation and your determination. My congratulations by the way for coming this far, it is not every day that it happens.
—Are you … human?
—Not in the conventional sense, no. To also answer the question you won't dare to say, I'm not the spirit of the tower either. Just a councelor. Let's focus on you, okay? My role here is to provide you with enough information for you to make an informed choice.
"First, you abandon the Earth with no turning back. The entry is final and it is still possible for you to refuse. Second, upon entering you agree to climb the tower at your desired pace, but to climb it. Be careful, climbing the tower will put you in physical and mental danger. It is possible, but not certain, that you will have to kill and face difficult moral dilemmas. In any case, this should not prevent you from climbing the tower, which should be and remain your first objective. Failure to stick to it will have consequences and will undoubtedly end up by making you lose your freedom and the advantages inherent to this condition. It's a definitive lifelong commitment: you have to climb the tower. It is your one and only obligation.
As for the questions you have, they will be answered pretty quickly. My role is simply to lightly warn you.
Here is the document to fill in with your name, 'Yaël,' or a name of your choice if you still wish to enter after what I have just told you. Having said that, once it is signed there will be no going back. Be careful. "
I look at the document he hands me and which just sums up what he just told me. Even though he said that I will have answers later, I still have a question that prevents me from signing.
"Do you know if my companion entered the tower? We were together when we left…"
The man then looks at me with a raised eyebrow as if he was slightly surprised by my question. He stays still for a few moments, but doesn't seem to be digging through his papers or about to use the phone I can see on the corner of his desk to get this information.
"Unfortunately, I can't answer you and talk about other people, but I want to clarify something. The decision you make today is up to you and will completely change the course of your life. It is your decision as a single individual. If you have any doubts, or think you might be doing this for someone else, you might be better off giving up now. If you want to enter the tower, sign the contract, otherwise tear it up. "