Chapter 2— Reminiscence

Chapter 2— Reminiscence

Without quite knowing what to think, I went to bed with her. In the end, I might be back in five minutes, or never. In this regard, we took the time to each write a letter saying our farewells to our families. My letter doesn't say much except that I'm sorry, but I am not. The only person who really matters is next to me.

As we lie down, my girlfriend makes me promise something.

—See you in the tower, okay? Don't leave me there all alone, will you promise me?

—I promise you, we stay together no matter what.

I can feel my heart start to race. After all, I'm taking a leap into the unknown with her, but where exactly? Am I really going to die entering the tower? This idea of suicide haunts me again like a childish fear. It's ridiculous.

I huff as she hugs me to help me relax.

She seems to be sure of her decision, but I can see that she is doing her best to hide the slight trembling of her lips.

In the end, we reassure each other by swallowing sleeping pills. This is not to "go" faster, but to make sure that, as we are in a relationship, one does not panic when the other's body disappears, which could prevent him from falling asleep.

I kiss her one last time before lying down, holding her hand while the other holds the key. My breathing slowly calms down as I gaze up at the ceiling, needlessly pondering questions that I have asked hundreds of times before. Finally, it is her who ends up breaking the silence.

—What do you think will be in the tower?

—Whatever it is, we'll be together.

—Who knows, maybe we will be transformed into laboratory rats?

—Not even funny … but you will make a superb lab rat if that's what you're wondering.

—Hey!

—I really hope that's not it. It would be quite disappointing. Unless I'm asked to do experiments on you.

—Grr. Just make sure you can get in, no matter what.

I exchange a few more words with her, allowing me to gradually relax as the sleeping pills finally kick in. I don't want to lose her. I look at her one last time as I close my eyes. I… I don't … want … to lose h…

*

I suddenly open my eyes realizing that I am no longer in my bed. I get up from the stone floor, looking around. The sky is covered in thick clouds as the ocean hits the jetty I'm on. A breeze and sea spray assault my senses, hitting my face as I begin to feel the freshness of the place. There is nothing warm here, but I had never seen the ocean before and it is very exciting for me.

Across the pier and following the stone path stands the tower. Rising to the sky before losing itself in the clouds, she is far too massive not to make me feel like she is completely inferior to her.

It's just me here and no sign of my girlfriend. Taking my inspiration, I start to move towards the tower which is about fifty meters from me. She's probably in front of the tower like me, but I just can't see her. No need to worry.

I am still dressed in the clothes I kept when I slept, and the key is still in my hand. I place it in my jeans pocket as I continue to walk. Considering the sensations, I don't think I'm dreaming, but I don't intend to waste time here. Either way, I don't think I have the right to swim or even stay and watch the ocean. This is probably not where the "entry test" should take place.

As I walk on the pier, I can see that the tower is surrounded by some kind of circular wall. In front of the pier is a gigantic arch which rises more than twenty meters above the ground. I feel like it was carved from a single block and I don't see any engraving or decoration. There is also no light or even vegetation. There is only stone and salt water.

I approach the ark not quite knowing what to expect, but as I go forward I can see a sort of veil covering it like a sort of mystical barrier. The veil is nothing normal anyway. It's a kind of film that moves slightly in the wind, but it feels closer to water than to fabric or something that I know of.

I pass my hand through it, but nothing changes except that I disturb the surface which lets me vaguely see my reflection. I can see the tower on the other side and what appears to be a wooden door several feet away from me.

I don't see any indication that could give me a clue, so I decided to step forward, taking a deep breath. By instinct, I close my eyes as I walk forward and, when I open them, I am no longer by the ocean, but in a sort of dark tunnel.

In front of me, several tens of meters away, is a door. Again, I think the instruction is simply to move forward. No need to think any longer.

[Don't turn around and go through the door if you want to go to the tower.]

I rub my head with a shudder. The message I just heard is quite strange. No particular intonation, no personality in the tone and I can't even tell if it's a man or a woman who just spoke. The voice was very human, but at the same time I found it almost closer to a machine.

I then decided to start moving forward. There is no point in thinking about what is only an instruction. There is probably a catch if this is a test and I clench my fists while waiting for something to happen and hoping it doesn't. I just have to walk, keeping my eyes fixed on the door.

"So is it like that?" "

A few meters behind me, I hear my father's voice. By reflex, I stop moving forward without knowing what to answer. I repeat the instruction that I heard over and over in my head so as not to distract myself.

"Are you really planning to walk through that door?"

My father's voice grows harsh and approaches the tone I'm used to hearing when he's disappointed with me. I just have to walk and ignore it, no need to think about anything else.

I don't want to answer him. The last time I heard his voice, it had the same demeaning tone and I hadn't responded either. He keeps talking to hammer me with his cliché phrases I used to hear when I was living under his roof and I keep walking silently.

As if I was going to interact with an imaginary version of my father when he probably sleeps in his bed like a baby. I don't want to turn around anyway. I didn't do it the last time I saw him and I won't do it now.

"What do you think you're doing exactly?" Do you think walking through that door will make you happy? Are you going to abandon us?! Forget us?! Turn around when I'm talking to you! Have you thought about your mother? Yaël, don't ignore me! "

I freeze for a few moments. It's my irritation that makes me want to turn around and tell him to shut up. I will continue to move forward and enter the tower. He will not prevent me.

I take a few more steps, trying to focus on the door. Instead of walking away, my dad's voice gets louder and then I can hear my mom's voice begging me not to. After her, I hear other people in my family and even friends that I vaguely recognize.

As I go along, more and more of them are calling me, one by one. They all try to get my attention, but I don't give in and keep moving. Some insult me, others ask me how I am and if I am sure of myself. Others are more suggestive and look like moans of pleasure or people sobbing violently.

One by one, they mix up creating a kind of monster that really scares me. I'm afraid of what I'll see if I turn around. I'm scared that there is nothing, but I'm also scared to see all of his people looking at me and judging me like I'm a monster myself.

I clench my teeth as my lips quiver. All their voices hurt me as, in spite of myself, I try to remember who they belong to. I almost feel a childish terror as they call me one by one screaming or whispering in my ears to make me turn around. The door seems to be still further away as I continue to walk briskly forward, but the voices keep chasing me.

None of them are part of my life anymore, even if they were once. There is only one voice that I do not hear, because it would give me courage. I know she wouldn't stop, and it's only her that matters now.

I finally arrive at the door feeling slightly out of breath. I reach for the doorknob as all the voices behind me begin to speak in unison.

" Never again. You understand? Look at us! You will lose us forever! "

There is finally only silence and I sigh of relief, telling myself that it is finally over.

My hand rests on the handle and a hand rests on my shoulder without holding me. I recognize this gesture and there is only one person who would do that.

Behind me, I then hear my brother's voice.

'Are you really going to do this for her?' And you, what do you want in all of this? Do you really think this is the best decision? "

I turn the handle violently and move forward, responding to this last ghost from my past.

"I'm doing it because that's what I want. "