To test a dungeon

My name is jack, I was born in the slums of a great city and grew up fighting for scrapes of food. To get out of that life I joined the adventures guild when I think I was 15 years old. Since then i have been an adventurer, I have fought monsters, defended villages and delved deep into dungeons. Some would call me a hero, I just see my self as a sword for hire.

This time me and my party of The Undefeated, you I know it´s a silly name. But at least it´s something to get us remembered. Well where was I? Yes, my party, meaning me, Tom the small one and Hilden, he´s the tall one with a bow. ehh. I feel I keep loosing the thread here. Well we three have taken a mission from the guild to check dungeon that seemed to pop up in the middle of nowhere. It´s a mission from the local ruler, some guy with a fancy name. And we were the only veteran party in the vicinity. We are not copper ranked for nothing you know.

It´s all very hush hush to not scare the locals and also so not some stone ranked newbies goes there and gets them self killed.

So here we are, taking a nice walk up the mountain.

Tom " So why the fuck did we take this shit mission again? I barley pays and not a single monster to be seen to make some money."

Me " All you would be doing is pissing your money away at the tavern on girls and bad beer anyway. the mountain air will make you good. Maybe you even grow to look like a real man. HAHA"

Tom "Fuck you man. It´s not the size but what you do with it that´s important. Like those ugly fuck wolves around here. Bigger than me all of them. But to fucking scared to do anything. Mohaha." Tom makes a rude gesture involving his crotch.

Hilden " Can the two of you shut up. You are giving me a headache with all your arguments. And by the way, we are there and over there is some one."

Hilden has already drawn his bow when some bum of a adventurer comes out of a cave in front of us. He looks like he came right out of the shithouse, and not the nice part you want to use if you catch my drift. Fucking newbies.

"Don´t attack, I am coming out. Not a monster."

New shit dumbass. Not even a monster would look as pathetic as you.

"Don´t shoot."

I give him a look over, this dungeon is supposed to have an dungeon lord. And they have been known pretend and hide. But this shit stain seems safe, I heard that the lord of this place killed 20 men all by him self, so this fucker must been lucky to not meet such a monster.

"Who the fuck is you? This job was supposed to be in the down low."

How did a newbie find this place before us? Ah fuck it, probably someone who heard from the source or knew the locals or something, and then took the chance thinking he can get rich and powerful fast.

I ignore the man while thinking of power and money. Heh, money. Then I her the world wolf from him. That fits with the information we got. seems like we need to be more careful. After some talking with my companions we decide that me and Hilden will go in and check things out while Tom guards the newbie and check our backs from more wolves. This is only supposed to be an reconnaissance mission but that chest seems like it could have some nice stuff. Dungeons always have some good shit to lure people there. We just need to know if this place will be a danger for its vicinity or not.

So me and Hilden walks into the cave opening. Its small and the walls is rough ad about a meter in is a roughly made door.

Me "So clearly a new dungeon. Not big enough for large monsters, smell of blood and dirt. "

We turn into professional mode when we go in. You never know what dangers you will meet. We may be joking around a lot in normal situations. But we are veterans at this stuff.

Hilden "Signs of digging with a tool. Seems like the information about a lord is correct."

The corridor turns to the left and with my guard up I take the turn. In front of me is a open spiked pit.

Me " Careful we have a pit here. Small foot walk on its left and a recess with a chest on the same side. Just the size for one person. The corridor also has more width, good spot for a ambush. No signs of one though."

The chest looks like a small coffin. This place is getting really creepy.

The newbie said something about a wolf, I can see tracks of one but nothing more. Better be ready so it don´t ambushes us. I take the footwalk first, its seams steady and no clear traps can be seen. getting to the chest.

Me "The chest lid is not completely closed, clear signs of that newbie. Guard me while I check it. That wolf could be around here. We need to know if this dungeon has anything of worth for the guild."

Hilden " Sure thing. Just hurry up, this place gives me the creeps."

Me: "Me too, something does not feel right in this dungeon. the feeling is almost as bad as that giant one we almost died in."

I start pushing the lid, it´s heavy as hell, made completely out of stone. Suddenly I can feel the stone beneath my feet start to crumble, and at the same time I hear a growling deeper down in the corridor. With only the light of a lantern not much at all can be seen. I scream out.

"Shit. I´m falling."

Hilden "Catch your self. the wolf is coming and I can hear something else behind it. It could be the lord. "

Hilden let me take care of my self the ass. I try to jump to the edge of the pit to not get skewered by the spikes. At the same time I hear an arrow fly by just above my head. I catch the edge of the pit while hurting my left foot on one of the spikes, how fucking charp is those things to get right through leather soles that easy.

"FUCK. my foot."

Hilden " Idiot. You are on the wrong side."

Wait what? while starting to drag my self up I look up and see a wolf cumming for me.

"My fucking luck. Keep it the fuck away."

It then jumps over my head flying over the pit like nothing landing right in front of Hilden. Shit. Shit Shit. I climb the whole way up and get ready to try getting over again to help Hilden when I see the contours of a man deeper in the corridor.

I hear bump from the other side of the pit and then it gets really dark.

Me "What the fuck man. Light the lantern again."

Hilden seems to be wrestling with something

Him " Can´t the wolf broke it... Shit... Gah... Get over here."

Not much I can do, I need to get over there before that man gets here. I pick an stone from my pack and crushes it in my hand. Light flow out, this is a magic light stone found in a dungeon of fire. I only have a couple of them and they are expensive as hell. Now I can see properly again.

In front of me is what looks like a dead man holding a club. He stands there watching me in what looks as surprise from the light. having no time to deal with the zombie I use the walkway to get back to the other side and find Hilden laying on the floor with cuts over his face and arms, but he seems to be alive at least. No wolf to be seen.

Me. "Lets get the fuck out of here. we have found out enough. Undead and mutated animals. Safe enough for larger groups but high risk of ambushes. The lord seems to be one of the more dangerous ones. But do not directly murders, even if you look like you were a second from death a second ago."

Hilden seems to look better fast. "Cost me a fucking healing potion man. That wolf left me to die, but did not kill me."

I nod and help him up, checking that the zombie is staying on the other side. But it can not be seen anymore. Then we limp out together, not seeing the wolf or undead any more undead.

- Partial Copy of report to guildmaster Jensen of Westburg city adventures guild.

P. S can someone please tell this idiots that we do not need to know there swear words in their reports. This is the third time, and I do not need to know their background. Tell them to remove all unnecessary information in the future.