Chapter 34:

(Nedzu's office clone POV)

'It's been around ten minutes since the meme was sent. What a Makima simp we both are.' I hummed, thinking about Makima's ASSets. She could force me into a contract any day.

Looking down into my lap, Eri was there happily munching on an apple she keeps rewinding. She had just finished her mathematics lesson with Fluffy-chan and needed some rest. Her cute little head is practically steaming from overwork.

I shuffled around awkwardly, trying to get my phone out of my pocket, and tried my best not to disturb Eri. Eventually, I managed to get it out. I soon realized that I could have just teleported it into my hands.

As I wallowed in some minor self-induced depression, I dialed Tsukauchi's number. The ringing clearly caught Fluffy-chan's attention. Nosy little chimera, poking his snout where it doesn't belong, even though I want him to hear the conversation in the first place.

*Ring* *Ring* *Ring*

"Hello, Sakuya, what seems to be the problem?" his voice came through the phone's speaker.

"Yeah, Tsukauchi-san, there is a villain attack on the USJ building on UA's grounds. Can you discreetly bring a bunch of escort vehicles over? The villains are numbering around 200-300."

Fluffy-chan's beady little eyes shot wide open, his attention now fully on me and the conversation at hand.

"... Ah, I must be hearing things. I swear I heard you say that around 300 villains are attacking UA. You are joking… right?"

"I'm very serious. Please be as discreet as possible; otherwise, this will turn into a huge mess. I already have people over in the media working on potential damage control."

"Alright, have you informed the principle of the attack?"

Looking over to the panicking chimera, I could only answer honestly,

"Of course I have. He's known about this as soon as I could possibly have informed him. Please hurry."

I hung up and completely ignored Fluffy-chan. My eyes are now fully entranced by the regrowing apple. He cleared his throat before pressing a button on his desk,

"Classes are now suspended for the time being! Can all teachers report to the front gate as soon as possible! This is a level 4 emergency! I repeat! This is a level 4 emergency!"

After announcing that over the PA system, he glared daggers at me before trotting off to the front gate himself. I was now alone in the office with Eri. She twisted on my lap to face me and asked,

"Mama, what's happening?"

"Well, sweetie, some naughty people are playing non-consensual tag with my classmates at the minute."

"I-Is m-mommy going to be safe?"

Oh lord, the tears are rolling already. I smushed her head into my boobs to silence her as I gathered my thoughts.

"Eh?! Of course, she is! Your mommy is super strong, you know? She's probably beating the naughty people up right now."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

(Momo POV)

I was currently stuck in the mountain zone with Jiro and Kaminari.

One doesn't know how to use his quirk to any degree that doesn't involve them frying their own brain cells or brain cell in his case.

It's a miracle how he even got into the school. I can't remember him at the recommendation exam, and he must have fried his brain on the first robot he took down in the public exam. It's not like they are constantly bunched up for his attack to hit them all or enough to pass before becoming a liability on the field.

The other is literally just in a punk rock outfit, it looks good on her, sure, but it serves no actual combat purpose or offers any additional protection. The best combat implement is her boots! Hopefully, it's just a preliminary design that will improve as her understanding of her quirk develops.

I'm almost proud to say that I have been dealing with the most villains. Almost. They are way weaker than fighting Sir and his sidekicks. The majority of them go down with a few well-placed strikes.

How they ever thought joining this attack would be a good idea is beyond me. The leader must have offered up a huge payday to motivate this scum to do something so stupid as to attack UA.

'At least my martial arts haven't become rusty. That's a benefit of this attack, I guess.' I hummed to myself as I threw another guy into the pile.

Yes, the pile. It's a pile of bodies that I have been contributing towards. I had to get some enjoyment out of this attack. I'm not like Sakuya, who takes pleasure in other's pain or a good fight. I prefer to cuddle and maybe be hit-

'Not the time to start fantasizing! Get your head in the game!' I chastised myself.

I narrowly dodged a right hook to the back of my head by fluidly swerving to the side. I used the momentum from swerving back to face the attacker and kneed them in the diaphragm, effectively knocking the wind out of them.

I then grabbed their outstretched hand and pushed it up against their back, and planted them on the floor. While sitting on their back, I made a magnetic ziplock before tying their hands behind their back.

After making sure that nobody else was around to sneak up on me, I slung the attacker over my shoulder before dropping them off into the pile. I created a cluster glue grenade and tossed it on the pile before walking away.

'This is getting rather boring… I wonder if Sakuya is getting her fix, or whatever she calls it.'

Wanting to get this over with as soon as possible, I made an infinity pistol with some explosive adhesive bullets. I then opened fire on the remaining thugs, making sure not to hit Jiro or Kaminari in the process.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

(Sakuya POV)

I already had my despair-o-meter filled for today. I no longer needed to drag this out for anything other than to make Mr. Hand Job think his attack is working as planned. I ignored the plaza as the nomu hasn't moved at all, nor has Mr. Crusty Lips made any moves on Homeless-san.

I stopped time and made my way up the stupidly long staircase. I swear, if Fluffy-chan tried to climb these damn stairs, he would most likely pass out halfway through.

'UA is fucking loaded. Why haven't they turned this into an escalator yet?!'

After ranting about stairs and how the only stairs I ever want to climb are the ones to heaven, for three minutes, I reached the top. It looks like I was just on time as well.

Marshmallow-chan was in the process of disintegrating her own back with the help of Oboro's portals. What a great quirk, or amalgamation of quirks, it is. I want it. I don't know why I would need portals when I have distance manipulation, but I don't care.

This will make me change some plans around, though. I originally wanted to erase the warping sludge quirk that merged with Oboro's original cloud quirk to make the teleporting mist. However, now I'll have to deactivate his quirk and freeze it in time before I have enough understanding to copy it at a later date.

'Maybe Eri would want a portal quirk. Children like portals, right? Probably.'

After rewinding the time for the participants on the stairs, to the point where Marshmallow-chan isn't primed and ready to shred her back open, I unfroze time and froze Oboro.

"Don't worry, Marshmallow-chan~ the awesome Sakuya is here to save the day!" I proudly declared towards the previously nervous rescue hero.

"I swore I attacked him..."

"Oh, you did. You also forgot that he has portals as his quirk and nearly ended up disintegrating your own back." I added nonchalantly.

I placed a few temporal barriers around Oboro. I can't have people arresting my little test subject now, can I? Plus, I really want to see Homeless-san's face when his presumed dead classmate is very much alive. The barriers were also there if there were a chance he would end up like Lady Nagant did in canon.

"Marshmallow-chan~"

"Yes, Sakuya?"

"Can you guard my test subject for me? I need to go and collect the other one before All Might comes and launches it into the atmosphere."

"What do you meant test subject?!"

"Thank you~!" I said, speeding off.

With the speed I was going, I only needed around one hit to take out most of them. A few of the animal mutation quirk users needed me to put in a bit more effort. I was flying through the crowd, and in turn, they were all flying due to the impacts.

"No, no, no, no, no! This isn't how it's meant to be! I didn't expect a hidden mini-boss to show up!"

"Bitch please~. I'm a final boss at the very least."

"Shut up!"

"Aww, can Mr. Hand Job not handle his little plans not working out~?"

"That's not my name!"

"What is it then?"

"Tomura Shigaraki, better remember it, you noob."

"Really?… noob? Is that really what you're going with? That's pretty pathetic of an insult, you know?"

I guess he really didn't like me calling the word noob pathetic because he scratched his neck like crazy.

'Is that foam coming out of his mouth? Ew.'

"Nomu! Kill her. We can have her corpse lure out All Might!"

And just like that, the behemoth came charging at me at breakneck speeds, even when 75% slower than before. I dipped and ducked the punches with little to no effort on my part.

I began luring it away from Homeless-san, who was currently battling tens of goons at a time. Making my way to the bottom of the stairs, Tenko/Tomura took it as a sign of me backing away in fear of the nomu.

"Not so tough now, huh?!" he called out.

"What did you say, Crusty Lips? I couldn't hear you! This isn't even my final form, you know?"

"A multi-stage mini-boss? You're a cheater, aren't you?!"

"Nope~ I'm very loyal to my wife, thank you very much.

This is just my quirk, speed split.

I can accelerate things with my left hand, and with my right, I can slow things down. When I use both on my body, I can split myself into clones. It's a very simple quirk but really powerful." I lied through my teeth.

In my opinion, misinformation is the best tool anyone could have, especially for anyone in the hero business. If your quirk is known to the public, your opponents already have the upper hand when fighting you. That's not something I would ever like to happen.

Tenko obviously hated how I was manhandling his pet. Well, I can't blame him; he did dust his last one, so he was probably really attached to this new pet.

"Never fear students! I AM HERE!" All Might's voice bellowed out amongst the dust cloud he kicked up when he smashed the doors down.

I froze the nomu in time and used distance manipulation to send him to the downpour zone temporarily so that Tomura would be forced to retreat. It worked like a charm.

"Nomu! Forget the brat and kill All Might!"

"Ah… about that… the nomu is dead… I may or may not have killed it by accident."

The look on his face was priceless. His eyes were popping out of his head and everything. It looked like the classic Enel face from One Piece.

"Kurogiri! It's time to retreat!"

Yet nothing happened.

"Is he that unconscious person on the top of the stairs? He's been like that for a while."

The entire plaza just got a whole lot more awkward… We both just kind of stared at each other in silence.

"..."

"..."

"I can't believe this!" All Might came barreling down the staircase after hearing about the situation from Marshmallow-chan; he aimed straight for Tenko, "Sensei! Help me!"

Low and behold, his precious sensei helped his little simp out. A pitch-black sludge ejected from Tenko's mouth before promptly enveloping his entire body. He disappeared shortly afterward.

The very second that Tenko disappeared to his dingy bar, Fluffy-chan, and the other teachers were present. At least my clone got the timing right and let them appear to help with the numerous people's restraining.

My clones started dissipating too. I had to accelerate my thoughts to keep up with the influx of memories. God, my clones were assholes. I'm so proud of them! One particular memory really caught my attention; a certain buff bartender was in the MHA world,

"Escanor was in the USJ attack?! I would have put up with the heat if I got to fight him..."

The teachers and various police officers stormed the building, cuffing all of the villains present. I walked up to Tsukauchi, used psychometry to give him my memories of the attack (the relevant ones), and swapped places with the clone in Fluffy-chan's office.

'I'm finally free, and I managed to dodge all of their questions for the time being. My clone can do it.' I groaned internally.

"Mama, are you okay?" my adorable unicorn asked me.

'What a caring daughter I have.'

"Just a little tired, sweetie. Do you want to go and cuddle in the dorms and watch a movie?"

She weighed the options in her head before ultimately deciding to agree. I swept her into my arms, eliciting an adorable squeak from her in the process, and left for the dorms. We crashed on the couch and put on some random Disney movie.

I then 'fell asleep' with Eri laying on my chest, covered in blankets. It had my desired effect. Nobody wanted to disturb the serene scene before them and left without arguing with me about not warning them about the attack.