The Homeless

Kieran awoke suddenly in an alley, he shakily stood with his head aching. "Shit did I get shitfaced yesterday" he groaned as he brushed his black hair back out of his eyes.

He sat back down and started to try remember what he did last nigh- his face went through a myriad of emotions as he remembered what happened last night "holy shit! Tiger god, fucking marvel! What the fuck man, why did I interrupt the bastard am I even going to be his avatar anymore and if I'm not I'm fucked" he was whispering to himself not realising the dirty look a homeless woman who he just woke up was giving him.

"Hey! Fuck Off!" Kieran swivelled his head towards the woman who just shouted at him "This is my turf you stupid-" her tirade was stopped by her coughing.

"Hey uh you good lady?" Kieran tentatively said to the woman with a distinct New York accent the type you would hear in movies.

He started to walk towards her to try and do something he doesn't know what he could help with but at least offer his help as he stepped within a couple feet of her she kicked out at his leg hitting him in the knee buckling it.

"Argh shit what the fuck lady!" He took a couple steps back away from the lady and widened his eyes as she brandished a dodgy looking knife "hey take it easy man, I don't want trouble" he said taking a couple steps back.

"Gi-gimme your money now kid!" The woman said to him Kieran nodded and pulled out his pockets revealing them to be empty.

"Look I ain't got no money lady just uh put the knife aw- shit!" He jumped back as she lunged at him. "Yo I have no money your crazy bitch!" Kieran shouted as he kept his distance.

"I can hear your accent it's one of those fancy ones" the lady said with a wet sounding chuckle coming from her throat.

Fancy accents is she fucking drunk was the thought running through Kieran's head, "I thought American women loved British accents what the hell" he said as he backed away from another swing.

"Whatever I know you got something" the woman shouted looking shitfaced with her eyes bulging and her rotten teeth showing.

Kieran was simply put, terrified of the weird crackhead. 'Holy shit what if she bites me' was the main thought going through Kieran's head.

He jumped back as she swung again, 'jheez she's real slow' Kieran thought to himself not knowing she was actually quite fast for your average crack head that hasn't eaten in 4 days.

As she went for another swing Kieran waited for it to pass him before just kicking her in the head with a rather simple roundhouse to her jaw. It connected with a slightly grotesque sound as her remaining teeth seemed to give up and just leave her mouth.

Huh for his first 10 minutes in the marvel universe knocking out a random crackhead is a decent start.

As kieran ran the woman's pockets he found a frankly terrible phone and $1 'Huh dollar so I'm definitely in the US then' he was thinking to himself as he walked out of the terrible smelling alley and into a street looking up in awe seeing huge skyscrapers 'huh New York then I really hope Spider-Man didn't see me loot a homeless woman'