March 23rd

Day 2.

Part1.

Beep! Beep!

The sound of my alarms went off.

Irking me to the core.

I was having the most splendid of dreams just now and it had to ruin it.

Dejected, I hurriedly slapped around on the bed and managed to turn it off.

Sigh.....

Today was a new day, a day brimming with hope and anticipation as an eager man would be getting ready to go to work.

Oh wait, I got fired didn't I?

Guess I wasn't going to work then.

My sleep now gone, I turned to face the ceiling. It was white, one of the colors in the spectrum.

White was a symbol of peace and hope, something that got normally used in wars and what not. Ever heard of the white flag, or the expression 'to raise a white flag'? Yeah, that's what I meant. It's something that's used to show when someone's given up. And in my case, seems like I was raising a white flag of my own in my own life.

Sigh.....

I didn't know what to do.

What would happen to me now?

What am I supposed to be doing?

What's the best possible action I can take?

Nothing, nothing seemed to pop up in my head as I stared blankly at the ceiling.

That's just how life works I guess, no matter how hard or how much you asked such questions, there was no guarantee that you'd even get a response, let alone a good enough answer.

I continued staring blankly at the ceiling, events of yesterday flashing through my head.

First mom, then work and then Linda.

Life's full of shit ain't it?

So... If I'm not going to work, what will I do today?

Hold on, I do remember vaguely tearing things up in the house yesterday.

Shit!

Guess that answers it. I'll have one heck of a house to clean up.

Fuck!

So much for losing my temper and going nuts like that.

Still though, there was something that was bugging me.

I remember falling asleep on the floor after my little show down with the mirror. Not that it was a show down per se, talk about a one sided assault, if we personalized it and took it to court, I'd definitely be sued for man handling it. But that's only if it was alive, back to the main topic at hand. I was supposed to wake up on the floor didn't I? And here I was laying peacefully on my bed.

Weird.

Or maybe I wasn't that drunk?

Either way, can't complain now can I?

Lost deep in thought, my phone rang loudly, snapping me back to reality.

I picked it up and found that mom was calling.

Odd, didn't expect her to be calling me.

Hesitantly gazing at my phone's screen, I deliberated it over several times in my head before finally deciding to ignore it.

Today I wasn't just feeling it.

With mom, if it's not one thing it's always another, and I just couldn't stand it.

If I did answer her call just now, and she started talking about how much of a disappointment I am, I don't think I may be able to hold my feelings in anymore. I might just end up blowing all of the steam on her. Which, from a moral stand point isn't a good thing.

I took two deep breaths and then shot myself up out from the bed. I turned to the calendar on the desk beside the bed. Which read the month March. On it I had the day's 22nd and the 23rd

Circled.

As I stared intently at yesterday's date, March 23rd. I felt like something was amiss.

Did I forget something?

As I pondered on that lingering thought just at the tip of my fingers. It finally dawned on me.

I had forgotten to wish my sis a happy anniversary.

Which was yesterday. Shit.

But.... Oh, Well, I'll call her today, oh wait. Them. It's not like she's married to herself now is it? I've gotta wish her and her husband Kyle too right?

Not that I liked the guy that much to begin with. But hey, my siz picked the guy, she must have seen something in him.

Maybe he's a nice guy.....overall.

But before any of that. I still have a crisis on my hands. Which is...Cleaning the mess that I intentionally created at the fit of rage.

Hoo boy. This is going to be one heck of a site.

Resolving myself and heading slowly towards the other side of my room, in the intersection between the kitchen and the bedroom.

I walked slowly absolving myself and staying sharp for any glass pieces, well...mirror pieces, which must've been on the way to the sitting room.

To my surprise, there wasn't a single piece of broken mirror lying anywhere, and when I turned to check where my mirror is usually placed. I was stumped.

My mirror was intact. Not a single Crack in it.

What's going on?

Did I just dream that entire experience?

I may have been drunk, but even I can tell the difference between dreams and real life experiences.

Then what happened?

Maybe that whole smashing the mirroring thing was just conjured up by my brain?

Could be.

Come to think of it, where would someone like me even get the balls to smash in a mirror?

I know what you're thinking, 'he doesn't have the strength huh?' no, I do have the strength, it's just that from a rational and a logical stand point no one in their right mind would even dare do something so reckless.

Why?

It's simple, cause of the backlash. Yes, you might be able to break the mirror into several pieces, but, without protection, your fist may also suffer. Since small pieces may enter your skin and damage it, opening it up gravely, leaving you severely wounded.

Whew.....

I sighed heavily, realizing that my drunken self could never be so stupid.

Such a relief.

But, it does make a lot of sense, for it to be just my mind playing tricks on me, cause even when you took a look at my hand. It was good as new, not a scratch anywhere.

Maybe I blacked out, from all of the stress of yesterday and imagined it all.

That brought my mind at ease a whole lot.

Wait.... Since there's no storm like that in my house....then what?

Mm....what should I do?

As I thought about it. I heard a sound from outside.

What's that? Did I get a package or something?

Ah, I'll check on it later.

Oh, maybe I can do a thorough cleaning of the place. It's been a while since I did the cleaning my-Se-lf.

Oh great, now I just had to spring up bad memories.

You see, after Linda and I started dating, she got all up in my business.

(_______Seriously, your place is so dusty)

(How often do you wash this?)

(I know you're a guy and all, but this just doesn't fly with me) and all that shit.

Not that I hated it, it was kinda cute. You know, having a knit freak girlfriend parade you each time and complaining in one moment and then in the next she's wearing your baggy T-shirt and is ready for action. That kind of thing. Every guy's fantasy.

Ahem.....enough of the past, since I'm single now and all, I ought to do my own cleaning.

That's the first step to moving on isn't it?

Not that it's going to be a piece of cake but..... I'll just have to move on.

Plus... Maybe I'll think about other options pertaining my job and all.

Part 2.

3 hours is the time it took to clean that apartment thoroughly.

I gotta hand it to myself I think I did a pretty neat job.

Am no woman but still, not too shabby.

Now that I'm done, I thought. Maybe I can go check my mail box and see if I got a package or something.

I went out and opened the mail box. In it lay a package wrapped in kaki paper. From Amazon. I went inside then unwrapped it, a pink box with a receipt on it, came to view.

I know I've said this a lot today but this is definitely odd.

This pink box resembled the one I received, yesterday, you know, the one with Linda's birthday gift.

Confused, I quickly went to check the place I had last placed the other box, not so much as placed but thrown, and oddly enough it was nowhere to be found.

No it can't be.

As I was about to open the box in hand and confirm if it was supposed to be the same box as yesterday's, the doorbell rang.

What is it now?

I placed the box on the table and went to the door. Upon opening it, I was met with a face I surely hoped I wouldn't have to see in the next couple of days. But, here he was, my landlord, talk about impeccable timing. He just had to pick a time that I decided not to go to work.

Speaking of timing, I do remember him sending an email to me yesterday, I didn't check it of course, cause I kinda new what it was all about but, seriously, this just wasn't my week huh?

"_________Oh, good, looks like I managed to find you."

"Ah, Mr. Iglesias, long time no see, how've you been? From the looks of things it seems like you've even been getting in some workout."

"Oh so you noticed, well, my wife kept nagging me about losing weight and how much she had a thing for muscular men and the like, wait a minute.... I see what you're doing here."

"Huh? Mwa?" I tried to feign ignorance, but he had caught on to my little scheme.

Mr. Iglesias, my landlord, was a well round plump man; dark hair with brown eyes, a little on the short size. With his one pack sticking visibly underneath his shirt, you couldn't deny how blessed his wallet was.

He was, how should I put this, a stickler or maybe a hound when it came to dealing with money. He had the best nose to sniff out potential businesses that would guarantee him a profit, or so I've heard.

He had lots of similar apartments like the one I was in, situated all around the neighborhood, indeed, this guy must've been packed and that's why the only way you could get anywhere with guys like him was with flattery.

That had been my approach so for, but sadly, today it seems he wasn't going to buy into it.

He took out a notebook from his pocket and checked it, then looked at my house number again then back at his book. His face grew stern afterwards and then he lifted his head, his eyes making eye contact with mine. He looked serious, the air around him just a moment ago had changed, and it was like I was now facing the money hound. The other side of him.

"________Listen, you have a rent overdue of three months, and frankly speaking, letting you stay here is bad for my business. No hard feelings kid but I'm going to have to lock you out till you pay up the money that you owe me."

It only took a glimpse at his eyes to tell that he was dead serious.

I had tried my usual approach of flattering him and letting him rant on about his life and progress that he'd give me some more time but when confronting this side of him, that didn't seem like it was going to work.

"But..., before I lock you out I'll allow you to take some necessities with you, anything you need, but the rest you'll take them after you clear up with me, if you'll need to that is."

I was dumbfounded, my brain clearly couldn't keep up with all of this, like damn man.

Why does life have to take such unexpected turns?

"Hey, I don't have all day you know, I'm a very busy Guy." he said snapping me back to reality.

And with no other choice or say in the matter I got back in the house and took my bag, quickly packed a few clothes in it and took my jacket.

Everything was well arranged as I left which made me snicker at myself, asking questions like, why did I even bother doing a thorough cleaning if I'm not going to enjoy it for a while longer?

After stepping out I watched him lock up my place, thoroughly. I wondered why he took such drastic measures, since it's not like the apartments had others ways that you could use, to get inside, other than the front door. But apparently, it seemed like he wasn't taking those chances.

I wanted to tell him to give me some more time, but looking back at yesterday's events it's not like I had a place i could get the money from even if I wanted to. So pointlessly throwing measly promises would just come back to bite me.

I just had to accept it.

Funny huh....

And once again I was back on the streets, kicked out of a place I was so used to being at.

Déjàvu, all over again.

It wasn't as extreme as forcefully getting evicted from the premises of my work place but it still had its own impact. Psychological ones at that.

Feeling my head get heavy as the stress and tension started to get to me, I decided to go to the one place that was guaranteed to loosen me up a bit.

Part 3.

Alas, I was back at the bar, scrounging away at my non-existent rich pocket, as I casually yelled at the bar keep for another round.

As usual, the guy glared at me, that same look of distrust in his eyes.

I couldn't blame the guy really, for one, he was just doing his job, and heck, I would've been curious too, if I was on the same position as him.

But still... Do I really look that poor?

"Another one madude!" I said to him, but given how he reacted it must've come out as a shout.

After some not so pleasant stares from other people in the bar, the bar tender came quickly to my side on the counter.

"Please if you would, try lowering your voice. Lest you upset other customers." He said to me, smiling sheepishly as he yanked the beer mug from my hand.

Such refines, you could almost mistake him for a butler if you ignored that little forceful action at the end there.

Or maybe he was? Nah....

Throwing away those thoughts I looked at him, as he bent down and picked up a brandy and began inspecting it.

If I didn't know any better I'd say that he was really doing his job, but in actuality, he was stalling, trying to wait until I had forgotten about my order.

This guy really does think I'm broke.

Well..... I am, but that's not the point.

As I was about to open my mouth to repeat my order. He spoke up.

"I hate to say this but.... Haven't you had enough to drink? How about calling someone or just heading home for now. You know.... there's always tomorrow."

Seriously... This guy.....

I get he's just wary of my pocket but still that has to go against the bar tender rules right?

'If they're willing to spend let them spend' isn't that how the saying goes?

Oh wait.....there's no saying like that, or is there?

Well....be it there or not, it's not like I had much to spend anyway so maybe taking his offer isn't such a bad idea after all. Like he said, there's always tomorrow.

But the biggest problem was that I got locked out by my landlord.

So I couldn't just go home and the person I could call at a time like this was... You know, with someone else.

Seriously...

As I pondered on what to do next I took out my phone then placed it on the counter.

The bar tender seeing this immediately placed a ticket with a bar code on it.

I scanned the code and in short order, a ping sound came from my phone, displaying a pop-up message, prompting my confirmation of the payment.

Then went back to my home-screen, I saw a message counter on the call history.

'4' it was Four.

Four? It was supposed to be one.

And one of those calls was from mom undoubtedly. But what about the other?

I opened up the application and checked on the missed calls.

The first one was mom's just like I had thought, but the other one was Sis's.

It seemed like she had tried to call me multiple times. Three times at that.

Did something happen?

I had started drinking since 11am. And it was now half past 6.

Maybe I should call her back?

As soon as the thought crossed mind, it was immediately disregarded by an even better one.

How about I surprise her? Since she's supposed to be at mom's place by now.

******

This thought, was indeed genius and foolish.

Since I thought I'd be killing two birds with one stone.

By going home I'd be able to find shelter for a little while and I'd be able to wish Sis and her husband 'Kyle' a happy anniversary. But it still had its draw backs. Mom.

I'd just have to suck it up I guess.

With that resolve I decided to heed the bar tenders advice and head home.

As I walked out, staggering a bit, I saw at a glance the bar tender sighing in relief.

Dude....at least wait till I leave first.

After that sight I got out of the bar.

*****

My heart clenched, and bate rapidly. I tightened my grip on my chest.

For a moment there I felt a stabbing pain in my chest.

After calming down I called over a cab and then quickly got in.

It was going to be a three hour drive and hopefully I would have settled down by then.

Those were my hopes as the indignant and repugnant memories flashed through my head like a raging tsunami.

If only.....

I thought to myself before allowing myself to drift into a soothing melancholy of sleep.

Part 4.

"Hey....Hey!"

I felt someone nudge me, and quite forcefully at that.

When I opened my eyes I found the cab driver staring at me fiercely saying stuff like....

"Geez.... Kid. You know how hard I've tried waking you for the past 10 minutes?"

Ignoring him, I looked outside the window and... I was here, my destination. Home.

To my surprise, I ended up sleeping through the entire drive, which was fine actually, since I'd be able to act a bit sober.

Emphasis on 'a bit'

Hopefully no one will notice, especially mom.

I took out my phone and paid the exasperated cab driver, then took my bag and got off the car.

Okay..... Deep breaths...

I said to myself, as I took in huge gulps of air and walked to the front porch.

I steeled myself then rang the doorbell.

After about two minutes of waiting around someone opened the door. And the person that came into my line of sight was none other than Kyle.

"Oh, hey there stranger. It's been a while." He said with a big smile on his face.

Seriously, this dude. Look at that smile. Ugh.

Gets on my nerves.

"Ha ha, well... Sure has been I guess..." I replied, not knowing what I should say to him exactly.

Then awkwardly, I pushed through his huge frame, which mind you, was covering the entire door.

It's like he didn't want me to get in or something, and this is my house.

Ah, well my mom's house, but still.

He's just a new addition to the family, so where does he get off blocking my entry like that.

And I for one have been in this so called "Family" since birth, so...what gives?

I managed to push through but, with a quick motion he slammed my shoulder with his, making me stumble backwards little. If I wasn't drunk I would have been perfectly fine, but with my balance all haywire at the moment, it couldn't be helped.

"Hey bro you okay?" he asked, as he tried to reach out to me with his hand.

Yeah right, that was definitely deliberate.

I ignored him and got inside, and just right on time...

"Kyle dear, who is it?" My mom comes into the fray and locks eyes with me.

"Well...well...well. If it isn't 'you'. What do you want?" Her expression turns disdainful as she asks. But then...

"I invited him here mom. I wanted him to at least come to my anniversary party. Which by the way, you've already missed it." My sister, Silvia, who had just come from the kitchen said then immediately scowled at me.

"Sorry." With nothing else to say I apologized, then mom, angrily goes off to the dining area.

Kyle follows after her, then the only ones left are my sis and I.

I close the door, to which Kyle hadn't closed, then walk towards the dining area as well. But Silvia stops me with her deadly glare.

"What's wrong?" I ask, to which my question only makes her angrier.

"Mm. What's wrong? Didn't you hear what I just said? I wanted you to be present at my anniversary party, which you totally missed. And not to mention you didn't pick any of my calls or even bother to call back!"

And there she goes...

Wow she must've really wanted me to be present in that anniversary party. Which isn't such a big deal right?

So why was she this mad?

"Look, I'm sorry I couldn't make it yesterday. Something came up and.... "

"What do you mean yesterday? My anniversary was today, to-day!" She said then came in close.

"Hey! Personal space!"

"_______You're drunk aren't you?"

"N-No...."

"Of course you are." she places her hand on her head and sighs heavily. Then mumbles something underneath her breath.

"Can't believe I lied to mom, and then you show up here drunk."

"What?" I heard it but I just asked anyway.

She takes my back from my hand and says...

"Just go eat, but if mom finds out, you're on your own."

Without another word she heads of to the dining room ahead of me.

But wait.... What did she just say?

That today was her anniversary?

Wait. Wait. Did I get the date wrong or something? No.

I didn't get the date wrong. So.... What's going on?

Or is she just trying to pull one over me since I'm drunk and all?

Confused I follow behind her and take a seat at the dinner table.

Wow.

I think to myself as I take in the lavishly prepared food.

You'd think that I'd drawn the short end of the straw when you saw what kind of meal this guys had prepared.

I mean c'mon, I get fate likes to rub things in my face a lot but this is going too far.

Why?

Since for the past five months I've been on a strict diet. Not by choice no, but by my wallet. In which my budget was going well, until mom decided to cut the entire thing.

Being jobless is bad enough but not being able to eat properly is way worse. Best case scenario you'll get to survive, but be all skin and bones, and worst case? You die. Which is fine by me.... Wait was fine by me? Huh?

Did I want to die at some point?

Déjàvu strikes again huh?

In front of me lay, a big chuck of chicken, steamy and looking quite delicious.

It was placed at the middle of the table, where it would be easier to access by everyone.

A midst other assortment of dishes were rice and curry placed right next to the Chicken.

To be frank with you I have no idea what the other dishes were so no use lying to you here.

I swallowed, completely and utterly famished.

It was hard keeping my stomach from grumbling, I tell you. I was in a real tight pinch there.

And the worst of it all is that, it had been so long since my last visit that I felt like a guest, which means that I couldn't just start eating. It was totally awkward.

After everyone finished preparing the table, while I just sat there, like a stupid ol guest. Then sat down.

The room was filled to the brim with different alluring smells that were tantalizing in nature.

"Tsk." But that still didn't stop mom from clicking as she sat down, her eyes landing on me.

I could just picture the lecture or the diminishing comments that were raring to slip out of her tongue.

Putting my mom at the back of my mind, I took a plate and followed suite to what Kyle and Silvia were doing. That's right, self-service!

I could just picture that soft chicken meat gliding in my mouth with its rich spices hugging and embracing my tongue.

How do I know all this?

Well.... The smell was a dead giveaway. You could get a rough idea of whether the meat in question has spices by how its smell interacts with your nose. If it's powerful then, it has some hot spices and vice versa.

All this was playing in my mind as I was serving myself. That's right, the power of imagination!

He he he. Well enough of that. Now to eat.

I sat down and took a spoon full of rice and curry.

What? You didn't take the other fancy foods?

Well of course not. You gotta eat what you know first, right? And plus I can't go experimenting with other bizarre foods, when this is my first time eating a decent meal in a while. Baby steps am I right?

The flavor of the food just melted in my mouth. I was in heaven. And that was before I even had a bite of the chicken. Which just served to intensify my appetite.

I was on a roll, eating like a mad man. As per my standards that is. I don't think the others noticed, I hope.

It was all well and good. The night young and peaceful, as a so called "family" were having a peaceful meal together when my mother, decided to speak. Apparently, fed up with all of it. Wherever 'it' was.

"__________I see you came here just to stuff your face. How about you try getting a decent job like Kyle over there and maybe you'll be able to eat well."

"Mom please.....you know it's not that easy." I stopped eating then spoke.

"Hmph no wonder I cut your allowance. I bet that's the reason why you came here is it? If you had just listened to me before and taken the course that I had laid out for you, then it would be that easy. But no.... You decided to take that course, which one was it?"

"Software engineering."

"Hmph! Software engineering huh. Tell me, does it pay well like the one my boy Kyle there took...Well?"

"No."

"As I thought, so now, since you didn't listen to me, your mother and decided to come back here without a decent paying job and start eating greedily like you own the place.....you good for nothing child!.... You won't set foot in this house ever again, until you go through with the career path I choose for you, otherwise don't consider yourself my son."

"You already told me that yesterday so why say it again today? You know I just followed what Dad always said. To follow your dreams." I don't know why but I just blurted out something i shouldn't have. And now it was already too late to take it back.

"Yesterday? Silvia, is this foolish brother of yours okay?" She turned to Silvia who just shrugged like it's none of her business.

"Oh I see so you're drunk aren't you?" her inference was spot on. I don't know what gave it away. Was it Silvia's response or me blurting out? Honestly I can't say for sure.

"What right do you have to say that you followed what your father always said when it was you who-"

"Mom!" Silvia shouted cutting mom off. But that didn't stop her.

"What Silvia? I'm just telling him what he already knows. He's the cause of your father's death and he knows it."

After that I just lost it. I was confused. I was angry and most of all I was guilty.

Deep down. Inside my heart I knew that it was true. That I was the cause of Dad's death. But to actually hear it from mom's mouth, shattered me completely.

"Mom!" Silvia stood up then looked at me.

Was she worried? No I don't think so. It's just her trying to act like a big sister in front of Kyle.

All the other times she had never stood up for me, not even once. So.... Was this her way of mocking me?

"And on top of knowing that it was your fault, you decide to show yourself at my house, drunk! Tsk! Get out of my house! You good for nothing!" She sneers at me in disgust, leaving everybody else baffled. And by everybody else I mean Kyle, who I can't so much as speak for since he was just there watching how things turned out. As he occasionally took a bite of his food.

I'm pretty sure he was enjoying the show. Don't ask me how I know, I could just feel it okay.

"Did I stutter? I said get out of my house!" She slams her hands on the table earning a shriek from Silvia.

"I got locked out of my house so at least let me sleep here for the night."

"Do I look like I care, I said, get.... Out!"

Wow.....mom of the century.

After trying to plea my case to her and failing miserably I just decided to do as she wished and get out of the house.

I left the dining room and went where sis put my bag. I took it then just got out.

And that's how my short lived food heaven came to an end.

***********

To be honest, most of what she said back there was true. No. Not most. All of it.

First and foremost, about me being the cause of my Dad's death. Yeah it's true. In a way that is.

You see, a couple years back.

My Dad and I had gone out on a father son hang out or to be more frank it was take your kid to work day.

Initially sis was supposed to join us but she refused. She said she was grown up or something. You know how girls are when they reach that age, don't tell anyone one I said this but it's true. Girls when they reach their teens start acting differently, presumably to imply that they're more mature.

Anyways, after she refused, it was just me and my Dad so it just ended up being a boys' hangout.

My Dad was an architect. And damn was he making a lot of cash from it. And that's not even the best thing about him yet. The guy was a perfectionist. Everything he did was just amazing. All his projects. The finished ones and unfinished that I got to see were just outstanding.

I remember saying that they were great but I don't think he ever took my compliments that seriously since I was a kid and all. He just laughed it off and said he hadn't reached that level of perfection yet.

We talked and talked about his job, I got to meet his coworkers and later on we decided to go out for a drink.

I know what you're thinking, and yes I did drink but, not that kind of drink. You know, Coke and stuff since I was underage.

But.... He might've let me taste his drink at some point, but don't tell anyone.

After our boys hang out and it was about time to head home.

I remember we were at an ATM machine and Dad was withdrawing money I think or probably depositing money. I didn't get what he was doing but as the darkness was starting to fade in, I saw something. Like a haze in the far end of my vision. And like the kid and idiot I was, I decided to follow that haze. As I got closer and closer it turned out to be a red lotus. A toy that I had always wanted. It could fly and was quite popular in our school.

Dad hadn't gotten around to buying it for me so I thought that if I could manage to catch it and tell him what I found, then maybe..... Maybe I could keep it....

But then..... I saw a huge blinding light.

"___________" I could hear someone shout out my name. It was...Dad.

That's when it dawned on me. I was in the middle of the road, with a speeding truck heading my way.

I had been so focused on the flying lotus, constantly looking up at it that I forgot to look where I was heading. But who can blame me. I was just a kid you know.

Standing there frozen, terror got the best of me as I kept wishing that Dad would save me. Then, I was pushed from the back and landed on the other side of the road.

When I looked back, I couldn't accept what I saw. My father was laying on the ground in a pool of blood in front of the truck that was headed my way. In a way, I was lucky, and also not so lucky.

After we buried him, that's when mom's onslaughts began. From being a sweet little child to a disappointment of an offspring.

And I couldn't blame her. In our house we had a rule, that when we're we were outside, we shouldn't wonder off on our own. And that very rule was set by Dad so, I kinda went against him didn't I. So it was definitely my fault.

That day, the day of the funeral. Mom let out her anger on me. Calling me names from worthless to Crap and shit. Yeah, I inherited such strong vocabularies at a very young age.

But it didn't stop there, day in day out, she persisted, and later on Sis joined in as well.

But hers weren't as vile as mom's but that just made me feel lost and isolated in our family till this day.

All I had left was my dream. A dream that I shared with Dad once. At the time I was fascinated by Computers and when he asked what I wanted to do when I grow up. I told him I wanted to do something with computers and he suggested I try Computer engineering.

Since then I had been clinging to that, hoping that by achieving my dreams that I'll manage to atone for my foolishness and probably make the guilt I carry deep with my heart melt away.

But.....going along with that was contrary to what mom wanted and so here we are now. Me chased out of my home and stripped of the title of 'Son'.

Somehow that hurt more than being called shit and crap.

I sat down on the dark sidewalk, my bag clenched tightly to my chest as tears were playing just at the edge of my eyes.

I had walked a relatively far distance from the house but now I just gave up walking any more.

It was 10:47pm almost 11 pm.

Where was I supposed to go now, at that time of the night?

I had no clue so....

I just sat there, thinking, actually what was there to think about? I was just sitting there looking at the empty road and listening to the crickets making their melodies in the quiet night.

After about 10 minutes, of just staring into the empty road. I heard footsteps coming my way. They get louder and louder until they stop just short of me.

"Hey" I hear Silvia's voice.

What does she want?

"Tell me, do you share the same views as mom?"

"No."

"You're not good at lying sis."

"I'm not lying."

"I call Bull."

"Well, if that's how you see it then fine."

"Tsk"

"Hey, can I ask you something?"

"What?"

"Why do you drink?"

"Why do I drink? It's because I love the flavor of alcohol, is there any other reason why someone should drink?"

"I'm serious."

"Me too...But you know what, say, an 11 year old just lost his father right. In front of his own eyes. Then he gets home, expecting to be able to cry to his big sister, and mom. And what does he get. Hateful gazes from both of them, blaming him for what happened. And worst of all, deep down in his heart he feels guilty about it all, about everything. Could you just at least for once just have tried to console him, or tell him that it wasn't his fault?

But no...you even joined in the hurtful comments that mom always made. Why? Cause you like the attention. You missed being the favorite before I came along right? "

"N-No!"

"See, you can't even deny it straight.....So why try to change all that today? Why try to act like a big sister today when the past what, 11 or so years you've been constantly bad mouthing me together with mom? Huh? Is that your new way of mocking me this days? "

"No...That's not-"

"So....why do I drink? It's cause I've got a tender loving big sister and a sweet mom, the perfect combination of a good ol' "family"! "

"I'm sorr-"

"Just leave me alone. I'm not your brother anymore right?"

"You know that's not true."

"You told me that once, remember, that you'd never be related to someone so foolish like me. So just leave me alone. You wouldn't even give a damn if I disappeared or died or whatever. You'd be ecstatic right?"

"Okay... I'll go, but.... I do side with mom on this one. You should've gone with the career path she chose for you. At least you would've been better off."

With those few parting words she leaves. And I'm left there in the dead of the night.

I was trying so hard not to break down in front of her as I lashed out, but now, all alone, I couldn't stop the tears.

They just kept streaming and streaming until no more could come out. Then that pain in my chest came back again. But this time I didn't fight it. I embraced that pain, all together with the emotional turmoil I was having. I took it all. At least by doing so, then maybe I'll be at peace. I thought as the feeling became unbearable as the chill of the night gnawed at me, dealing the finishing blow and letting me rest and enter a goodnight sleep.

'That's right sleep my child.'

Oh that voice again. So.... Familiar.

Morning came faster than I had anticipated. And how did I know this? The dreaded alarm clock! I swear it keeps on going off whenever I'm having a wonderful dream.

So once again, I slap around on my bed and manage to turn off the alarm.

Then I roll around on the bed then face the ceiling.

Wait. Bed? Ceiling? Wh-Whaaat....?

I sit upright on my bed. Yes my bed, in my house. What's going on?

I take my phone and look at the date.

It couldn't be what I think it is right? Right?

My phone states that the days date is....

March 23rd!

Huh!

How?