Strange Feeling

GAIL POV

"Lately I have been thinking."

"THIS SHOULD BE INTERESTING."

"Unfortunately... not so much." I reply my wolf Terra, leaving behind a huge sigh.Terra does not respond so I continue to talk."I feel sad. I feel weird . I feel like I am missing something, like I am incomplete..Like one of us, or a part of me is not here." I say to Terra while folding my hands into fists and clenching them tightly together. I hate to feel like this. It reminds me of the time when I was a no body, but I have developed myself into a better version of me so why do I feel like I am not enough!.

I don't know what has been happening to me lately but I feel like an incomplete picture of a big puzzle. The closer the days to my birthday the more I feel like something wants to pull out of me, today it became even more clear that something is really wrong with me. Earlier when Arian hugged me, I didn't feel anything at first, but then there was a certain pull that made me want to scream . I did the best I could to hold it in and spent the rest of our remaining time trying to not talk too much.I wonder what that was about.The pull felt like my soul was leaving me but also felt like It was replaced by another more stronger force.What was it?..

"IS IT ABOUT THE PULL FROM EARLIER?"Terra asks.

"Yes. It left me feeling empty, needy but also whole. I can't explain it.I can't seem to pin the feeling to anything. Do you know what it was?" I ask Terra while picking up a new towel from the folded bunch and head to the bathroom. After taking off my training clothes and remaining only with a towel wrapped around my waist, I stand before the mirror and properly evaluate myself.

"I AM NOT SURE WHAT THAT WAS, BUT MAYBE IT WAS OUR MATE BOND TRYING TO COME OUT AND KILL ARIAN. WE BOTH KNOW HE ISN'T OUR MATE ,IN MY OPINION THE HUG WAS UNNECESSARY ."Terra comments coolly.

"Arian again. I won't be surprised if you actually love him. Your hate for him is very suspicious." I reply to Terra while still looking at myself in the mirror. I properly widen my eyes and try to look inside, my pupil and iris are okay. It is not like I would suddenly develop another personality but I need to check just to be sure. Terra and I both have blue eyes , but our eyes change colour depending on who is in control. Our werewolf forms share the same eye colour as our wolf form just more rage filled than when in our wolf form, most feelings definitely do not have a physical form but I live in a world that another man does not believe exists, so maybe there is something roaming around my world that I am unaware of.

"OH PLEASE..LIKE THAT WOULD EVER HAPPEN AND I DON'T HATE HIM. I JUST DON'T FEEL HIS VIBE." Terra comments but I don't respond to him. Instead I take my towel off and place it neatly on the bathroom towel hanger and jump into the shower. I need to shower to calm myself down. I need to think.Tomorrow I will be moving to the training camp temporarily, until my time as a scout is finished and then I will be free to leave the pack.I don't feel like I want to do sports anymore, but if this Goddess allows, maybe I could open a studio and help train bullied kids some self defence moves?. I initially wanted to move away from my family as soon as possible, but with the move to the training camp, I would have already achieved my biggest goal. With my smart brains, I am sure I can get a job anywhere and or do whatever I wanted after graduation. I have also earned and saved enough money being a tutor and ghost writer all these years so I should survive.I would also maybe like to travel and see the world a bit more before deciding where to settle and what to do. I might end up doing sports, or teaching sports or doing anything and everything but being unproductive.I still want to leave the pack, but during the past few days, my mind has been filling with excuses of how I can stay and still be happy here. I only need to deal with that motherfucker called Liam and then I would have completed my year plan.Then I guess we will see after that.

"I WOULD NOT MIND AT ALL IF WE STAYED,AS LONG AS WE ARE NOT LIVING WITH KADIJA. AND AS FOR LIAM...EYE FOR AN EYE OR PUT HIM SIX FEET..."

"I don't want to raise your hopes up these are just future thoughts and no ,we are not going to kill anyone who isn't a rouge Terra. We are just going to have a little talk with him...I am sure my fists would be happy to communicate with someone after soo long." I reply to Terra with a cheeky grin.

"OOO!....I LIKE YOU. PERFECT! I CAN'T WAIT FOR SCHOOL'S TO RE-OPEN." Terra comments excitedly.

After finishing with my shower, I get dressed and head down to the kitchen to make myself some food. Ray stays at the camp all week so I am all alone. I decide to put some store bought lasagna into the oven and eat it with a side of some green salad with pineapple juice for a drink. This should count for a healthy meal.After I am done with my food, I head up stairs once again and start packing everything I will need for my stay at the training camp.I spent my day choosing between what I should leave behind and what I need to take with me. I ended up taking seventy percent of my things and leaving behind only those of no value. I hope Arian does not mind. Once I am done packing, I text Corey so that tomorrow he can come with his family truck and help me carry my things over to the camp, after we agree on the meeting time I quickly run down to get some cookies and milk. This should be enough for dinner. I will eat more tomorrow.

Soon the Sun bids its goodbyes and I lay my head to rest. I have to wake up early tomorrow. I don't want to cross paths with my mum and her parents. I will come back to see them on the day of my birthday or after.It will depend on if my mum would want for me to come here.I hope they at least come to see me, they are my parents after all. ..but it is also okay if they don't, I have Corey and kind of Arian now..I also might kind of have Ray so I am good.

"YES. BETTER TO SPARE OURSELVES THE TROUBLE."Terra interjects. His voice sounding like a mirage in a dessert. I have slowly faded into the land of sleep. From tomorrow I hope everything in my life only becomes a good or positive experience.I hope I meet one more good friend, I hope I don't get killed. I hope I can help Arian, I hope I find my true purpose but for now..

Goodnight.