chapter two: Partnership

Being partners with Shawn technically wasn't the worst thing ever. Far from actually. He was always kind to me, maybe he pushed a fake flirt here and there that sounded so shallow, otherwise he didn't bother me. Maybe he's different in other times I don't know. He was always the person I chose to be near, because I knew he would protect me in any moment That was needed, and always have known that. He has always helped me. In more ways then he will ever know. its just hard being around him sometimes.

I just didn't know if I could hold back the feeling that hung around my heart for this man.

At least with Shawn I knew I wasn't in danger. Shawn was pretty easy going with me. And he's always been protective of me so that's ok. Sometimes I didn't know what got to me more, the fact that I have had this massive crush on him since the day that I met him, or the fact that the day he showed any interest in me is also the day that me and him stopped speaking, but it very well could be the act that I still love him through the ways he has flirted and rejected me time and time again.

Ashton rose his voice again "now everyone stand with your partners and get to know them a little before you go walking off into the game."

Walking over to Shawn I remembered a day where as children we always begged to be partners, mainly in dodge ball. I outsmarted the other team members, and he got them with the ball. It was fun. We worked well together in almost every aspect back then. we had different skill based things, that made us a great team, we split up tasks based off of what we're good at, and it always ended in us winning. He spoke up when I was too scared too, I helped him with some of his schooling. He helped me with a lot of my bullies as well, and I got him out of trouble almost daily. Until I was 13 anyways, maybe 14 I'm not sure. So much happened in those years that I can't quite remember which thing happened where.

I stood by Shawn, expecting he wouldn't glance once or show care I'm near him, but even knowing That my heart started racing. I could feel my heart beating out of my chest being near him, I could smell his cologne in the air, and I could feel the warmth of his body radiating off of him. Ugh! being near him drives me crazy.... We had to stay near our partners which was a weird feeling to be doing with Shawn. He being my brothers best friend back then, our little kiss, and then avoiding being near each other for so long, now standing beside him is strange. Even if it isn't mandatory for whatever game we're playing. There was just so much to me and Shawn, we where civil, but honestly it was hard sometimes. I fell in love with him, he kissed me, then didn't show me the light of day. He blanks me out, besides when he is trying to get to me, when he is trying to get a reaction out of me. I have never understood why he continuously does this to me. I believe with all of my heart that he knows what he is doing to me every time that he decides that its a good idea to flirt with me, or remind me of the friendship we once had. I think he knows that he being him reminds me of my dead brother, so in that case he mainly stays away from me, but i also think he likes testing my feelings to get a reaction out of me, in which it is so easy to do so...

Suddenly Shawn's deep voice showed itself "Davina, tell me about yourself now. I suppose that you have at least changed a little?" he said with a smirk and smile that told me he didn't care.. Startled I spit out the first thing that came to mind being... "I like air" accidentally sounding sarcastic I sigh trying to make it seem like I meant it.

Who says they like air really Davina.

"sorry, not a whole lot has changed... I'm still the boring girl that you knew all those years ago." I say fixing my mistake.

After all he knows that I'm not a very sarcastic person. Not on purpose anyways. Seeing Shawn's dark eyes look over me I could feel my skin burn. I use to fantasize him looking at me, I never thought it'd be with so much disappointment in his eyes, but I guess I understand it seeing as my friend dressed me like this. I always thought that it would be with love though, I guess I was wrong. I remember when once his gaze was enough to make me smile, now his gaze seems to be what's disturbing my peace. He causes my face to burn, and for my heart to flutter, I know that its pathetic, but I think I fell in love with him when I was younger....

As I think about all of this I shuffle from discomfort. Realizing this is the most revealing thing I've worn in a long time. Shawn's eyes staring through me is getting rather uncomfortable. Shawn wanted to make me uncomfortable a lot of the time, he knew how easy it was. On several occasions I've found myself so uncomfortable around him, he has been a heavy flirt with me, a bully, a stranger, and a best friend. Which he truly is all in one, it's still complicated to try figuring out. Mainly because my feelings get in the way of reality. I know me and him could never happen, but that doesn't mean I'm not going to want it, but I've moved on from that haven't I. I like Ashton now don't I? I have for a couple years.

From discomfort I decided to walked into another door meaning I was going to start and Shawn surprisingly understood. We both walked off into this and read the card that we got. Seeing as there is male and female partners, it specifies by gender, reading the card, I know it's for me.

"Truth, though this is a safe choice, you have to expose a truth about your past without directly stating it." My voice stuttered reading this out loud. I'm terrified for him to know my secret.

Although this tends to be an easy thing for me to say, telling Shawn is more complicated then anyone. I didn't want him to guess but I guess here we are. What I was going to do that day, he of all people didn't need to know. I don't know if he would be disappointed, or angry knowing the truth of that day.

This day was a turning point for me, and he surprised me with something I've never felt, so I was afraid to know his reaction. He helped me. But does he know?

"Do you remember the day.... The one guy was bullying me?" I said quietly. He looks at me surprised I bring this up, "you mean the day I kissed you" he said bluntly with no emotion after regaining himself after the surprise.