I want to be a teacher.

Sirius sat opposite Luna and looked into her eyes. The catgirl, in turn, only chewed something slowly and did not break eye contact.

". . . What did I tell you about the food in the bedroom?"

Luna swallowed the cookie she was chewing and slowly began to speak.

"That if you find even one crumb on the bed, then you spank me like a naughty child."

Sirius blinked.

"What? No, I said that I won't let you sleep here anymore. Although now that I think about it-"

The catgirl just put a cookie in his mouth and shut up her boyfriend.

"Tasty, right?"

He could only nod and chew on the cookie that was in his mouth. After a while, Luna finished her fooling around and put the plate of cookies on the bedside table. The girl snuggled closer to Sirius and hugged him but the Wizard's mind was occupied with other thoughts.

"What is it, Siri?"

"I have no idea how to start my path to becoming a teacher at the School of Heroes. Legally I am only fourteen and I am most likely considered dead. I will not be able to crack the files of the Hero Commission and add myself inside, too much trouble. Also, I cannot go to the Hero's exam for adults with fake papers, that would be suicide. I just don't know what to do."

Luna giggled and kissed her boyfriend on the nose.

"You just need to find a friendly little Chimera who will give it all for one little favor."

"And what favor will it be?"

"Just some finishing touches, that's all."

The girl's words didn't make much sense to Sirius now but they will be very useful in the future. Black knew how the Lovegood family communicated, they could be aloof one moment and the next they might say something that would change your very soul. It was a little scary sometimes.

"Thank you, Luna."

Sirius lay down next to the catgirl and kissed her deeply. Her slightly rough tongue licked his lower lip as if asking for an entry. Without hesitation, Black opened his mouth a little and their tongues intervened. Luna's fingers played with Sirius's long hair while her free hand explored his body, looking for places she hadn't yet touched.

Sirius responded by stroking her just below her back, right at the base of her tail. The sensations made Luna moan into his mouth a little. In the other hand, he held his Wand and activated Wards on the room. Not a single sound can leave the basement now.

He might think of friendly Chimeras later, he has better things to do now. Luckily, a horny girlfriend is one of them.

---

Sirius came out from the basement after a rather intense night feeling a bit sore. Of course, he felt much better than Luna, who decided to spend the whole day as a cat on his head so that no one would see how strange she was walking.

'For a lewd girl, she's embarrassed about some pretty weird things. Well, it's not like I can judge.'

He entered the kitchen to make himself a coffee but was overtaken by Midoriya, who was already drinking the drink of the gods. Sirius took a mug and poured himself coffee too - with the addition of charcoal as usual. Black slowly sipped his drink and stared at the green-haired teenager.

Finally, Izuku sighed heavily.

"What?"

"Which School of Heroes are you going to go to?"

"Why do you want to know?" He asked suspiciously.

"Because I want to become a teacher in one of the Hero Schools and you are going to get into the best one. But for the life of me, I don't remember its name."

"Are you serious? Of course, you are Sirius, why did I ask that?" Izuku rubbed his temples in a futile attempt to shake off the remnants of sleep. "U.A. High School. Although I doubt you will be able to become a teacher there, you have too many problems."

"With the law?"

"No, just too many problems."

Sirius shrugged and pulled out his phone to look up information about the school. Everyone at the School was a Professional Hero and was personally hired by Principal Nezu after the interview. Other than him, no one had the power to hire or fire staff, so the Principal had much more control than anyone else.

Nezu looked like a white animal of a weird kind with black beady eyes and a scar on his right eye. When Sirius saw the face of his future employer, a huge smile appeared on his face.

"I usually have to wait a little longer than a couple of hours to understand your clues. Don't you think this is getting too easy?"

A cat's paw hit him in the nose and Yue hissed in displeasure.

"I shouldn't have said that. . ."

Izuku just snorted and continued drinking his coffee.

Sirius sighed heavily and began to think. He can't just barge into Nezu's office without warning and say "I'm working for you now." it'll be stupid.

And then an idea so stupid appeared in his head that it could as well work.

---

Naomasa thought he was seeing things. Who in their right mind would believe that Salazar Slytherin is sitting at his table. But even when the Detective left his office and entered again, Vigilante did not disappear. Tsukuchi took a pen from his pocket and threw it at the man to check if he was real. Salazar just grabbed the pen with his shadow tentacle out of thin air.

"That was rude."

Naomasa was still staring at Vigilante for a couple of seconds.

"And that was my seat."

"I've been standing here for forty minutes, give me a break."

The detective sighed heavily and sat down opposite his seat. He has seen Salazar's Quirk in action and has no chance against the Vigilante.

"Why are you here?"

The man sighed heavily in return and opened his shadow mask to look at him. What caught the detective's attention was the look in his eyes. The tiredness that he saw only in his father's eyes when he talked about the war. The same tiredness that he saw in Heroes' eyes who saw too much at their work.

"I want to be a teacher."

Naomasa's brain halted.

"Excuse me?"

"I want to become a Teacher in the Hero School but you know my situation is a little. . . Strange, to put it mildly. Even if I wanted to become a Teacher in the usual way, it would be very difficult. So I came to you."

"And just how do you imagine I can help you? You are a Vigilante who took the law into his own hands and didn't give a damn about the rules. Tell me why I have to help you? You are a criminal, I doubt that you. . . can. . . teach. . . anyone. . ." Naomasa wanted to give a piece of his mind to Salazar, but Salazar did something that the detective did not expect at all.

Salazar dropped his shadow mask and showed his face. The face of Alexander Gold.

'How can a child have such a tired look?'

"Let me introduce myself, my name is Sirius Black, also known as Alexander Gold, Salazar Slytherin, and Harry Potter. Of course, these are not my only names, but for now, that's enough."

Sirius sighed heavily and leaned against the detective's desk. Naomasa had too many questions, so he quietly turned on the recorder.

"If you want me to help you, then first you have to answer me a couple of questions."

"Suit yourself."

Naomasa ignored that Gold responded to his demand with the same words that Midoriya said to him and decided to begin interrogating.

"Where did you disappear after the Ground Hog attack on the Buttergems family?"

Alexander - who said to call him Sirius, so that's what he will call him answered him.

"These abusing bastards? After they died my life didn't change much, I survived on the street all this time trying not to starve."

'Great, England's Golden Boy has been abused by his family. Why am I not even surprised?'

". . . Why do you have multiple Quirks?"

"I am Quirkless."

"You can control fire, shadows, create mouths and eyes on those very shadows, talk to snakes, and God knows what else. Don't tell me these aren't Quirks."

Sirius chuckled softly and took out a sheet with a drawn circle on it, and on top, he placed a wooden cube. He put it in front of the detective and began to explain.

"This is all science, from start to finish. Anyone can use the same powers as I do with sufficient knowledge. For example, even you can change this cube by imagining how it changes."

Naomasa looked doubtfully at the Circle in front of him.

"You just have to put your hands on the Circle and imagine changing the shape of the tree. Try it."

The detective touched the Circle and imagined how the cube turns into a pyramid. And to his great surprise, a flash of blue lightning flashed across his hand that changed the shape of the tree. He felt the energy flowing from his body into the Circle. Right in front of his eyes now lay a rough wooden pyramid.

It was definitely not Sirius's Quirk, Naomasa felt the power in his hands.

'Nezu was right, he is an Alchemist. But does he himself know what he is?'

". . . What is that?"

"This is Alchemy. An abandoned branch of science that is practiced by only two people according to my knowledge. Me and my student."

If earlier Naomasa's brain halted, now it just shut down.

"There are three of you. . ."

"Hm?"

"There is another Alchemist who specializes in creating Chimeras. At least that's what I'm told."

Sirius frowned and folded his hands in front of him. There were other Circles on his white gloves that Naomasa noticed only now.

"Chimerologist. . . They were rare even when Alchemy was more widespread. So either we have a professional or a madman."

"I would say a mad professional. But this is not my story to tell, I need to call Nezu. And although you know better, we will go to U.A. together, it will be faster."

"I don't mind. But I have to be home by eight in the evening, otherwise, I will most likely be killed."

Naomasa looked at Sirius with interest.

"Where do you live again?"

"Good question, but even if I gave you the exact coordinates, you wouldn't be able to find it. So don't even try."

Sirius rose from Naomasa's chair and red lightning flashed across him, altering his body and aging him. The detective now faced a man in his early twenties with shoulder-length black hair and a short beard. His previously baggy clothes now fit his body perfectly. Seeing the detective's questioning gaze, Sirius scratched the back of his head in embarrassment.

"I take it this is one of the branches of Alchemy?" He dryly commented.

"Yes. I don't want anyone to recognize me as Alexander. All Japan is looking for me after all."

Both men left the police station, being watched by working officers, and drove Naomasa's car towards the U.A. Along the way, the detective asked details about his life on the streets and his affairs as Vigilante. And one thing very much interested him.

"You want to tell me that Leviathan's death is your fault." It was not a question, but a statement.

"Not exactly. The asshole came back from my past like an ex-girlfriend, We didn't like that at all. If we had left him alive, in a couple of weeks he would have gained the ability to fly and killed all people of England."

"We?"

"One of those secrets that I won't reveal to you until I get my job as Teacher

"Right. . . Are you serious about working as a Teacher? You are only fourteen years old."

To be honest, Naomasa's mind was in a mess. On the one hand, Salazar was a Vigilante who needed to be put in prison, but on the other, he turned out to be a child. A child wronged by society. He promised himself to return the kid and the girl to safety only to find out that his help is no longer needed.

'How should I even feel about that?'

But Naomasa did not have time to immerse himself in such thoughts, they drove to the U.A.

The detective and Vigilante received temporary passes for the School and entered the campus. U.A. was split into several separate buildings and right now they were heading to the main building - a huge skyscraper that looked like the letter H from all sides.

"I don't like this style. I like the huge Scottish Castles more, they at least have a soul." Sirius said thoughtfully as he turned the next corner. "But as I understand it, there is the same labyrinth inside as in my beloved Castle. Only without secret passages and broom closets to hide inside for a quick fu-"

"Stop. Please. I can hardly restrain myself from not calling for help from all over the Country. Lord, you are breaking my personal beliefs. . ."

Sirius just shrugged in response. He was not going to take the responsibility for what he wasn't guilty of.

Finally, they reached Nezu's office where Sirius returned to his youthful appearance before knocking. Everything was quiet for a couple of seconds and then a high-pitched voice of the Principal rang out from within.

"Come in!"

Naomasa walked in first with Sirius right behind him. Nezu greeted them with a welcoming smile that reminded the Alchemist of Dumbledore. This old man could have been planning your death the moment he wishes you a happy birthday. And the fact that on such a small animal one could see that smile unsettled Sirius.

"Ah, hello Naomasa! Who is your friend? New officer?"

"No. . . Nezu, meet Salazar Slytherin or Sirius Black." He pointed to Sirius, who bowed theatrically. "The most irritable Vigilante of the last eight months."

Nezu's smile did not disappear from his face, but his gaze conveyed how quickly he was thinking. He considered all possible options in this situation, but in the end, he decided to first find out more about the mysterious Black.

"Well, this is a surprise for me, Mr. Black. Let me ask you why you decided to come and show your face to the detective in charge of your case?"

Sirius fell into a chair across from Nezu and looked at the animal carefully. He looked like a mixture of bear, mouse, and dog.

"I want to become a teacher in a Hero School. Perhaps a teacher of history or tactics. One of two things."

Why exactly this classess? Well, he was confident that he could teach history much better than Binns and tactics because he spent his entire Auror career studying it. Countless capture and investigation operations will straighten even the hunchback.

"And how this applies to me? Yes, I have a School where I select the staff, but you understand that I will not hire you just because you asked."

Sirius just took a pen from his inner pocket and began to draw something in the notebook in front of him.

"Polar bear, white bulldog, and white rat. Three animals from which you were created." He pointed his pen at Nezu without distracting from his drawing. "I can offer you something that will end a failed experiment. I can make you complete and make this constant pain in your insides go away. But I will tell you right away, I do not demand the position of a Teacher for the treatment, it is irrational. I will cure you no matter what. If I don't succeed here, then I'll go elsewhere."

Nezu looked closely at the second Alchemist he had seen in his life. He was strong, could control shadows, and according to him knew tactics well. But there was a small problem, he was only thirty. Such a capable person would be needed everywhere, but Nezu knew that free cheese was only in a trap.

But. . .

". . . How well do you know tactics?"

Sirius grinned.

-_-_-_-

Yo.

Today I ask the proletariat - that's you, my beloved communists - if you want me to write R-18 scenes. Of course, I've never written them before. . . I've never done a lot of things before. . .

Well, now I'm sad.

Okay, it doesn't matter!

I will write a comment in the following paragraphs and you will like the comment you want to vote for.

Yes, write R-18.

No, don't write R-18.

I'll wait a while before closing the vote. Most likely I will write the result in the next chapter, or the chapter after that.

A Simple Russian Boi - who is getting ready to write smut - out.