Picking Up the Pieces

Yui sighed, tossing her keys on the bar top and looking around the empty room. Everything was exactly as it had been left the night before. She didn't bother turning on the lights as she walked in and began surveying the state of the place.

No one had put away the banner for the now-aborted surprise party. The dried-out green marker Mei had been using to color it lay uncapped on the edge of the countertop, and the stool she'd been sitting on when Yui screamed still lay on its side on the floor. The dishwasher behind the bar stood part way open, having never been run with the last load of glasses from two nights ago. A pair of flies crawled on the tray of strawberries that had been prepared for garnishes.

Ignoring the front of the house for the moment, Yui pushed through the blue half-door into the back room, peering cautiously into her mother's office. A pilsner glass, which yesterday had contained the Regular Girl cocktail she'd intended for her mother to try, had rolled to a stop on its side on the corner of the desk, its contents having mostly soaked into the dingy brown area rug that dominated the center of the room. Scattered envelopes and papers lay strewn all around the chair on the floor where they'd been knocked down as Akane pulled Hana from her position slumped over the desk to perform chest compressions on the dingy old throw rug. Akane's quick action had saved her mother's life.

At least, Yui prayed that it had.

Continuing back to the kitchen, the blonde bartender cringed. The smell was awful, especially the raw chicken and the container of milk that had been left on the counter overnight. The bag of flour that Ayako had been using to make batter for the chicken lay on its side, partially spilled out onto the stainless steel countertop. Yui checked all the knobs along the back wall; at least her sisters had remembered to turn off the gas appliances and the pizza oven in their rush to lock up and follow the ambulance to the hospital in Ayako's black sedan.

With a heavy sigh, Yui pulled her black motorcycle helmet off of her head, setting it on one of the stools on the near side of the prep counter in the kitchen.

Where do I even start with all this?

She glanced up at the clock. Shit. Three hours until… The blonde cringed, shaking the thought from her head. Who the fuck am I kidding? We're not opening tonight. None of us have slept, and none of us… Fuck, none of us can even breathe. Not without her. Not until we know she's okay.

Yui sighed in the silence, pulling on a pair of heavy yellow latex gloves that she retrieved from the cabinet under the sink. No way around but through, I guess. Let's deal with the smell first.

She poured the spoiled milk out into the large basin sink, rinsing it down with water from the faucet and capping the empty container. Yui nearly gagged from the stench of it, covering her nose and mouth with her gloved hand as she tossed the flattened container into the large round trash can next to the prep counter. She took a moment to unbolt the steel door leading out to the alley, swinging it open and jamming one of the white plastic chairs in the alley under the door handle to keep it propped ajar. Gods, I gotta get some fresh air in here.

Turning to the prep counter, Yui dumped the trays of chicken into the black liner of the wheeled, sky-blue trash can, banging each loudly on the rim of the can to unstick the slimy breasts without touching them. She stacked the three aluminum trays, propping them on their sides in the wash basin. There's gonna be more dishes; I'll do them all at once, she thought.

Cupping her left hand, she dragged the edge of her palm over the steel counter, brushing the majority of the spilled flour into the trash can before righting the flour container and resealing it. This should be fine; it was only open for a few hours. She returned the plastic bag to its place under the prep counter.

While it was going to be a lot of work to get the place cleaned up by herself, Yui didn't mind doing it. The rest of her sisters were taking shifts at the hospital - even Ranko, who had somehow gotten a last-minute overnight flight home from Sydney the night before. That poor thing, sitting for ten hours on a plane alone not knowing if Mama was gonna be alive or dead when she landed. Yui hadn't seen Ranko yet, as she'd been avoiding the hospital. She knew she should go. She knew she should take a shift. She knew she should be there when Hana woke. She just couldn't. She couldn't see her mother like that; all those tubes and wires and… No. It would make her look… mortal. Yui couldn't stand it. She'd left the hospital as soon as the doctors told them only one family member could be present at a time, and still felt terribly guilty for having been relieved to have an excuse to get out of that place.

She picked up the large plastic spice shakers, capping them and returning them to the steel rail mounted to the wall. That done, she made for the little alcove on the right side of the hallway, pulling out a yellow broom. Not much point in a dustpan; the back door's open anyhow. I'll just sweep it outside. She set about doing exactly that, getting the majority of the flour that had spilled to the floor pushed out the door into the alleyway where the next rain would wash it away. The kitchen needs a mop too, but I'll do that last. I gotta be able to walk in here without slipping.

She scanned the room with a sigh. Okay. For a first pass, this is good enough, I guess.

Yui stalked down the hallway back toward the bar room. The liquor storage closet was unlocked, so she pushed it closed and pushed the brass padlock back through the loop to hold it closed. She turned to the opposite side of the hallway, hesitating in the doorway. The white linoleum floor of the hallway was marred with two black trails left behind by the rubber wheels of the gurney the paramedics had wheeled into the bar to bear Hana out to the ambulance.

Come on, Yui. Be a big girl. You can do this.

She stepped hesitantly into her mother's office, looking around. Okay. There's the papers on the floor, the glass. It's not too bad in here, I suppose. Her eyes fell on her mother's chair, which lay on its side on the floor against the back wall with the seat facing outward. Akane had turned it to get Hana out of her chair and onto the floor, and it had fallen over when her mother had been lifted out of it.

Yui shuddered at the sight of it. Her mind echoed with the memory of her own screams, pleading for her mother to wake up and begging the woman who had fought so hard for Yui's life and the lives of all of her sisters to fight for her own. She sat down on the battered leather couch, resting her elbows on her knees and letting her head drop into her hands as she stared at the empty black desk chair.

Her chest heaved, her ribs aching. It had taken two hours after Hana had been revived for Yui to even remember why. Akane had pushed her out of the way to get to Hana, and she'd banged her side on the corner of the desk. She didn't remember Akane yelling at her to move. She wasn't sure she'd heard the younger girl at all as she stood frozen holding her mother's lifeless form in her arms.

Yui pulled the latex gloves from her hands, tossing them to the couch next to her and wiping her eyes with her fingers. She hadn't really noticed that she'd started crying until the salt of her tears began to burn her eyes. She felt numb. Empty, like the chair she couldn't take her eyes off of. Her mother's place. The ratty old desk chair was torn and battered, and one of the armrests was loose. The whole thing sat lopsided on its wheels and the pneumatic support in its base no longer provided the cushioning it once did. It should have been thrown away and replaced years ago, but to the blonde bartender that regarded it, that duct-taped black vinyl seat was sacred ground.

When you come home, Mama, I'm gonna buy you a new chair. I promise. I'll buy you a fucking throne. Just… come home. Please. I can't do this without you. Not the bar, not… life. I can't. The other girls, they've all got their thing. Izzi and Aya have their husbands and their families. Ranko and Akane have each other, and their careers and school. Mei… she'll figure something out when she's ready. She's got a thousand things she wants to do, she just needs to pick one. But me? What the fuck am I gonna do?

It's you and me, Mama. You, me and this place. It's my whole existence. It's my whole universe, and it's too fucking empty right now. You can't leave me here like this. Please.

Yui stood, leaving her gloves on the couch. "I gotta get the fuck out of this room," she mumbled aloud through her sniffles. She grabbed the empty glass from the corner of the desk, heading back out to the bar area through the blue saloon doors.

She stepped behind the main bar and jammed the empty glass into the dishwasher, adding two that remained on the counter as well. She picked up the bottle of apple brandy, popping the pour spout out of it and replacing it with the cap that still lay on the counter next to it. Yui turned back to the counter to put the lemon juice away, but something else caught her eye instead.

Yui regarded the little jar for a moment, picking it up and examining it as if it were some relic she'd unearthed from some ancient civilization. It was only as she held it, and the twenty-seven blue stirring straws poking out of its open mouth, that she realized how badly her hands were shaking.

Put it down, Yui. This isn't helping. Put it down.

Her eyes scanned the back of the bar and the array of bottles lined up on the mirrored shelves behind the counter. Her commonly-used bottles rested in the well under the counter, awaiting her skilled hands whenever the Phoenix next opened.

I'm sorry, Ranko. I'm sorry, Mama. I know I promised, but…

She upended the jar in her hand with a heavy sigh, dumping the straws into the trash can under the bar. The jar itself soon joined them.

Right now, I just need the hurt to stop. Get my hands to stop shaking. We'll worry about tomorrow tomorrow.

She reached for the bottle of Jack Daniels in her well, grabbing a highball glass from behind the bar. Yui hadn't brought any ice from the machine in the back. She didn't care. With trembling hands, she filled the glass, lifting it and staring at the room-temperature amber liquid within, and her reflection in the mirror behind the bar as she held it.

Alright, Jack. I'm counting on ya, old buddy. Just take the edge off a little for me, okay? Just enough to settle my nerves. That's all I need.

Yui sighed, having almost brought the glass to her lips when she heard the front door of the bar swing open. "I'm sorry, but we're closed," she said flatly, not looking up from her glass.

She heard footsteps - a woman's heels - on the hardwood floor. They were still approaching her. Yui whirled, fury in her eyes. How dare someone invade on us right now?

"I said, we're fucking…" Yui gasped, and froze in place.

"I know," the black-haired woman said gently. "I know, Yui."

Yui's eyes flooded, and she covered her gaping mouth with her trembling hand. "How… what…"

Tossing her gray silk blazer over the back of the nearest bar stool, Sakura Chino sighed softly. "Mei called me this morning and told me what happened. She knows how I feel about your mom, and thought I'd wanna know. And, well, I hung up the phone, and my feet just kind of started moving on their own. I just… I knew I had to get here. To you."

"Sa… Sakura?!" Yui set the still-full highball on the bar top, the leaded glass rattling in her shaking hand against the polyurethane surface. "Is it really…"

Yui's ex-girlfriend stepped closer, nodding slowly. "Yeah, Yui. I'm here." Her voice was soft and soothing, despite the severity of the clack noises in the empty bar room with her every step closer to the bar and its keeper.

"Sakura, what am I gonna do?" The blonde was pulled into Sakura's arms, held tightly against former partner's body as her salty tears soaked into Sakura's cream-colored silk blouse.

"Shhhhh. You're gonna be alright, Yui. She's a fighter. All you girls are. We're gonna pull together and we're gonna get through this. You're not alone, Yui." The raven-haired woman rubbed Yui's back firmly, holding her close.

Yui lifted her head off of Sakura's shoulder, looking incredulously into her green eyes. "... We?"

Sakura nodded, managing a small smile. "We."

The blonde shook her head, sniffling and wiping her nose on the sleeve of her blue denim jacket. "But… you have your job down in Fukuoka. You shouldn't even be here!"

In response, Sakura reached out, wiping Yui's tears from her cheek with her long, pale fingers and offering her a gentle smile. "I quit. This morning, on my way here. Didn't even clean out my desk; they can have my stupid little potted plant and shit. I've been miserable every day since I've been down there anyway."

Yui covered her gasp with her hands. "But then… what are you gonna do?"

Sakura smiled gently, resting her hand on the blonde's shoulder gently as she looked around the disheveled bar room. "I don't know. I heard about this kitschy little bar in Minato that might need a little help for a while. I mean, it's no five-star hotel, but…" She flashed Yui a brighter smile and a wink. "I don't know. It's got a certain… charm about it that I just can't seem to get out of my head."

Yui blinked. "But, your career! You were gonna be vice president of… whatever. Why?"

With a little shrug and a bright smile, Sakura took a step closer. "I… I fuckin' love you, Yui, okay? I love the fuck out of you. I never stopped. I never should have gotten on that damned train. I fucked up. I kept waiting for you to come to me, but I should have known you wouldn't. This is where you belong. I'm sorry it took me going away for a while for my dumb ass to realize that where I belong is wherever you are. If you'll have me, anyway. I'm so sorry I wasn't here when you needed me last night, but I'm here now, and I'm not leaving unless you tell me to."

"You… you mean….you…?" Yui blinked the tears from her eyes. Is this really happening?

"Yeah. I do." Sakura reached out again, wrapping her arms around the back of Yui's head and pulling her forward into a kiss.

"Oh, hey…" The raven-haired woman smiled as she broke the kiss. "You know anybody who's got a couch I can crash on until I find a place back up here? Or, could I maybe borrow that apartment upstairs for a bit?"

Yui giggled, wrapping her arms around Sakura's neck. "For you, I think we can do better than a couch. In fact, I've got half a queen-sized bed with your name on it."

"Just half?" Sakura giggled a bit, crinkling her nose cutely. "What about the other half?"

The blonde rested her hand on Sakura's chest, gazing lovingly into her eyes. "That's where I'll be."