9 Acclimating

Ann twirled onstage as the last notes of "Lovely War" reverberated from her lyre. The small crowd lauded her in praise and a shower of coins. She curtsied in response.

A smalltime tavern didn't have much, so the spontaneous entertainment was enjoyed by all. Although many men would like to ravage her perfect body, the competition was fierce and her disinterest could hurt their reputation. So, many were left with raging erections and they waddled off shamelessly to their rooms.

Ann picked up the rolling coins with furtive precision. Slowly, her pouch on her inner thigh filled with 2 silvers and 12 coppers worth.

It was enough for Ann to buy a decent stay at an inn and meals for two weeks. Staying longer increased the risk of locals getting too friendly. Ann didn't want to lose her freedom, so she was always on the move.

Ann ate quickly and quaffed a glass before heading to the baths. They were publicly used but separated as men and women.

Ann took her time thoroughly cleaning the grime from her body. Being on the road made her alert but also forced Ann to rest in the most unexpected of places. It's also why Ann got confused by faint sounds of someone breathing. She couldn't find anyone in the baths with her but she couldn't stop suspecting someone was watching.

Halfway through scrubbing her hair, Ann realized the distant noise she heard was child's voice. His words became more and more distinct until—

"Oh, yeah, baby! Prop those babies up! Get ready for a facial you never saw coming! Nnghha—AAaaAaAa!!~"

Ann's eyes widened as she stared up to the source. She only saw the wooden planks of the roof.

"That was nice. I never got to do anything with God always watching. Hot babes are the best!" the voice laughed like a spring's innocence.

Ann's face twisted sourly. Was she going insane?

"What? I gave her "God's Blessing" alright, heheheheh...

Don't say I'm a f*cking idiot! You're a f*cking idiot! ...

Yeah, right, be that smarmy, wordy f*cker you are! ...

She's my Apostle already! What more can you want? ...

Ha! Like I need to guide her. My first Apostle should've done all the work already...

Who gives a sh*t that she's infertile? ...

I don't f*cking care about the Afterlife Processing Center. I've been locked out since I f*cked up in the beginning! ...

Don't blame me for what happened to their souls! ...

Give what? No f*cking way she's gonna be a warrior! I've a got a plan! Idols! She will sing, dance, and convert all those dipsh*ts into my followers! With more of them, Derob will fall on its knees, praying to me! It's the perfect plan!...

Wait... What do you mean, 'stop talking out loud'?...

Is this thing on? Hello? Can you HEAR ME!?"

The voice had its own conversation but was definitely a huge pervert. Ann felt squeamish that someone was THIS obsessed.

Ann toweled off and covered herself. She skillfully slipped on her clothes under the towels but couldn't stop the voice from talking.

"Hey! Hairy p*ssy b*tch! Hey!! Hairy *ss crack! Bubble butt! Perky TITS! Brainless BEAUTY!!! See? She can't hear me. You're overthinking things!"

Ann had enough. She never experienced humiliation like this from such a shameless person!

"Dickless voyeur! Come on out! Are you a pixie? If you're trying to prank me, you picked the wrong person to mess with!"

"Ah... I f*cked up..." whispered the voice.

"Um... Pretty lady, can you believe that I'm God?"

"If you're God, then I'm your Mama, kid! Get real! You're hiding in the ceiling rafters, aren't you? Perverted freaks! All of you creeps! Get your friends out here too! I want to see your nasty faces before I smush them into the ground!"

"...No, wait, but I'm really God!"

"Kid, come down here before I decide to break your kneecaps so you're crippled for life!"

"...Come on. This is a misunderstanding, my lovely Apostle!"

"GET DOWN HERE NOW!!!"

"Look! Here!"

A pillar of light shattered the roof instantly. Within it, a plain-looking book rotated slowly.

"Ahhh!! What the f*ck!?" Ann screamed.

Splinters of wood rained on her and waves of water splashed on her clothes.

"B*stard, I'm going to skin your dick and feed it to you!"

"Look at the book, dumbf*ck!"

Ann rubbed her face. She looked at the book cautiously, then at the hole in the roof and the volatile water, and back at the book.

"You think I'm an idiot! I won't fall for your tricks, you disgusting kid!"

"You— f*cking senile woman! Look at the book! How are you not bowing before your God— Wait, really? She's that f*cked up?"

Ann looked up.

"Stop gossiping about me you *ssholes! Come down here and take your beatings like a real man!!"

"You can't sense mana or faith, you stupid, coldhearted woman. You're so sad, you... Virgin~!" the voice called back. He sounded... like he pitied her, like a cripple who crawled with their hands, begging for death!

"Shut the f*ck up and fight me!! You're the mentally crippled one! Your dad's crippled! Your dick's crippled! I bet you pee and say it's the best of your sad ejaculate!" Ann shrilly screamed.

"Why are you so stupid..."

"Why are you so stupid!!! Ahhh!!! You're the virgin baby!!!"

So began the standoff between an Apostle and her God...