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The Meme Train

Little thing I decide to write for the fun memes, don't take this way too seriously, if you wanna vote, vote then. Just don't act like an ass. Also the book isn't for anyone of a prudish nature, so yeah, if you are then this ain't your cup of tea, hell it's not even tea, it's a full cup of espresso. Oh yeah, the R-18 tag is there for gore, I don't know know how to write good smut, and I don't plan to write smut in this book any given time. ____________________________________________ Take a look at me for example: I died, that was painful. I got chosen to be entertainment for some dude that I never got to even meet. I cheesed the "golden finger" I got and made an entire world go straight to fuck all. Now I'm just casually being the madman that everyone says I am. Oh, and fuck cultivators. I don't like their kind around here. What do you get? Some random kid being a fucking lunatic that's what! Take a read if you want! You'll definitely regret it! (Disclaimer, I own nothing aside from my MC and any OCs I may cook up, the cover was from google, I just searched Thomas the Thermonuclear Bomb and I found Thomas the Thermonuclear Apocalypse, I came looking for copper and I found gold. Also this is a work of fiction, any names that are placed in here are yadda yadda yadda you know the drill, anything in here is coincidental.)

AntiLoliLewding · Anime & Comics
Not enough ratings
325 Chs

She Believed

/Frank POV/

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(Well, this, was quite the unexpected turn of events.) I said as I was getting cornered all around by a bunch of cultivators that didn't even have all that great gear. Most of their weapons were just completely normal stuff that they most likely had when we already looted almost everything that they owned. (Silence you cripple! You and your so-called Omega are responsible for the thousands of deaths that have occurred across the various sects and families! You will psy for your crimes against all of our people!) the cultivator that had a farming scythe to my neck said as I was getting a little annoyed as to how all of this happened. Let me just rewind the clock a little to tell you the basics of what happened.

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/About Three Hours Ago/

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There I was sitting on a bench with yet another can of root beer at my side looking at all of the lights and life in the city as I was happy with my work. This shit was already beyond the level of even my original world. I mean, we had working hovercars and holographic tvs, that's pretty good for the level of tech, and not to mention the fact that out weapons were also quite the good stuff that we had. We had literal printers that could print ammunition for us, and once I get the necessary bit of new information, I could even begin fucking around with the Profound Energy itself. Imagine if I could "poison" the PE around a bunch of god-level cultivators and see them suffer in ways that even I wasn't aware of.

But alas, I'm lazy as shit and I wanna chill for a little bit before I go off to see what exactly was that sword that Che found in the bottom of that cliff. I know for a fact that it's part of the other sword that was in the Dragon Vault thing, but it was still good for a nice research site since there was that little Umbral Flower that grows down there, and if I'm correct, another Heretic God Seed is there as well. It's a gamble, but at this point I'm nearly out of things to do in this little world of theirs that I actually am willing to gamble the shit out of this place.

Yeah, I'm that far gone at this point. Not that it's surprising. So I get the hell up from my seat and swing down the lat of the contents of the can down my throat and burped a little and walked my merry ass off to see what exactly is it that makes that cliff special. And just to add insult to injury, I went and did it without the need for an actual ship. I just walked my ass over there, that's actually just another lie that I'm telling you, I actually still use that really fast horse that I bred for the purpose of transportation. Fucking Silver with it's speed and all that bullshit.

AND RIGHT AS I SAW THE DAMNED THING, I WAS AMBUSHED. THAT'S FUCKING HILARIOUS BRO, LIKE, GENUINELY. It was so funny to me, that I even started to laugh as the cultivators were all getting frustrated with my laughter. (Oh what's wrong assholes? Never heard of what poetic irony is?) I asked them as the head honcho was just about to go and hit me when a girl stepped in and said (Elder brother! If we hit him, then he's only going to be right about what they say about us, we need to regain the faith that the mortals had in us or we may suffer for the rest of our time!) and as she finished her words I then looked at the two of them and asked something which was considered very very sensitive.

(So are you two dating, or is this something else here that I'm not getting?) and when I asked that, the guy was blushing up a storm and as for the girl? Well, she looked like she wanted to skin me alive as I was still in the "special" bamboo cage that was "supposed" to keep my weapons and everything in check. (Hey hey hey, don't get so angry kid, I was just curious is all. There isn't anything wrong with a little curiosity from anybody, unless you have a very very very dark secret that you don't want anybody to know.) I said as she, the guy she was telling to stop, and the rest of the cultivators were all getting antsy from my words.

(What? Did I say something amiss here? I'm not exactly the type that likes to not know shit, ya know?) I said to them once more as the head honcho just sighed as I'm pretty sure that he'll just start to ignore me. {Alright then, if they have a little settlement of rebels within somewhere in this shithole, then that means that I could just call up a strike team on my position and see what exactly happens to them and how they'll react. This is gonna be fun, this is like some James Bond shit right here.} I thought as I then smiled at them as I whistled as we were walking our way back to their base.

And about a couple minutes later, we finally arrived at the cliff that I was talking about, and there were a lot of Citadel soldiers and guards all stationed around this place. (Alright then mortal, go and tell those other mortals that us cultivators will be taking all of their possessions and we'll make sure to leave their bodies intact when they die by our blades!) the head honcho said as I looked at him with pity. (And what then? You think they care if you're thousands of years old or just a couple? Cultivators, in their sense of the word, are a disease that needs to be cleansed off of the face of the very universe. They don't care, they know their purpose now, and they'll do whatever it takes to ensure that it happens. It may not be in their lifetime, or in their children's lifetime, nor in their children's children, but they will strive for it to happen. Because the pains and sufferings of what cultivators did to them, even the good ones, cannot possibly be summed up into a single generation. The grudge, is held for much longer, and I say this without the humour that is borne from it, than you have ever been alive.) and as I said those words, they all stopped and pondered on what I said.

And as for the two "sibling" cultivators? They were just standing there at my words as I then started to smile. (So yeah, it doesn't really matter if you guys are Nascent Realm or Emperor, they'll still find a way to take you all down with them, if it was deemed necessary.) and as I finished my words, I then watched as the nullifiers for the cliff started to take a little more energy, and if that was the case then the Citadel soldiers would then get ready to kill as many of the cultivators as they possibly could.

(And that, is the best time for you all to leave if you don't want to lose any more of your numbers. I'm very genuine with this, it's the best choice at the moment.) I said to them as their head honcho then grit his teeth as the girl that was next to him then walked up to me and asked (And how exactly do you know all of this? Hoe do you know so much about the Citadel and it's military? What exactly are you to them?) she was questioning me with breakneck speeds as I soon started to smile. (I'm gonna be real with you here, I'm the Omega.) I said as they didn't believe me for one bit. (Well, I guess I tried my best with the bullshit, though in all seriousness, I'm what you call a captain in their army. I pilot the big ships that shoot from the sky and kill dozens of you for breakfast.) I said to them as they shook at my lie.

(Nonsense! Why would a captain be coming out to ride a horse of all things when they have a Great War Whale!) the head cultivator said as I was getting confused (I'm sorry, War What?) as he then smirked at me and said (That is the name that we have bestowed upon the ships that kill our people without them even sending anyone to loot our bodies.) and as he said that with venom evident in his voice. (I can see why you wanted to give it a shit moniker then, it's kinda fucking annoying hearing you call it a "War Whale", good on your end. But seriously though, there's also something else that we hate about you guys. It's your shit sense of naming thi-) and as I was yapping and yapping the guy then pulled out a knife from his pants and said (I will kill you if you keep making me angry you worthless cripple! Don't think that I haven't noticed that's you don't have any of your Veins intact! You were one of those that sold themselves out for the sake of your surviv-) and right as he said that, a shot burst out from where the Citadel soldiers were at and they said (NOBODY MOVE! *insert call tag* get the ship locked onto our position! We got some tangos!) and as the soldiers said that, the head cultivator pulled me out of the cage that he was keeping me in and said (If any of you take one more step, I'll gut this cripple immediately! You filthy mortals shouldn't have ever been allowed to rise up! Now we have to take everything over again!).

And when the guards realized who exactly was it that the big guy was holding, they then slowly put down their guns and said (Sir, why are you?) I cut off his words by replying immediately. (Oh don't worry Johnson, I'm just here for a ride. Honestly their stuff is a lot lower than normal after all that firing from. So how's the wife? You two got anything baking in the oven?) I asked him as he then nodded. (Yeah, it's pretty awesome sir, I can't actually believe that I'm gonna be getting a daughter! And here I thought I would've been living in such poor conditions if my parents didn't go to the Citadel when they were still accepting people!) he said as I nodded in affirmation.

(Well tell the wife I said hi, oh and Johnson?) I gave him extra words as I was getting ready to attack the big guy behind me (If I were you, I would be getting down.) I finished my words as I pulled out my Glock and aimed it right under his chin and fired. It wasn't a perfect shot, but I sure as hell noticed that I did something real fucking bad to him. The man groaned in pain as I was thrown off of the cultivator as I immediately used King Crimson to slow time down to the attosecond as I went around and unloaded about twelve rounds into every single cultivator's head there except for the girl cultivator that was sort of related to the one that threw me into a cage. And just to add insult to injury, I lopped off the head of the head honcho motherfucker and placed it in her arms.

And when time resumed? Oh boy, that was just a sight to see. (Normally speaking Johnson, I don't normally use my time related abilities, it makes things almost too fucking easy for me to kill everything. But it's got some perks to it. I can go down to the attosecond, where even light is slower than a snail.) I said to the Citadel soldier as his squad mates moved in with backpack nullifiers and double tapped those fucks just in case. (Well little lassie, I gotta say sorry. But in my defense, you didn't even believe that I was the Omega, when in fact-) I said to her as I pulled out my mask from my inventory and showed it off. (-I was being very genuine with my words.) I finished my sentence as I sped behind her and gave her the classic chop to the neck as she was locked out and the head of her brother was rolling off of the cliff.

(Get this one into the "purification chamber". She seems rather decent for a person. Albeit it's most likely gonna go bye-bye after she loses all her cultivation.) I said as I then looked a the cliff that was there. I whistled as I couldn't even hear the damned head falling down anymore. Okay now that's deep as hell. Considering that there's a shit ton of math involved with a world that's bigger than Earth by a very large margin and yet still has the same gravitational force, is probably a very deep drop down.

2208 words. Welp, time to harvest some flowers and see what exactly could we use those damned things for in the first place. The only real thing that I could see good in that place was that really fancy treasure about a poison and crying baby sounds. Anyways and as always, I'll see you guys, on the dank side of the moon! Peace out everybody! Goodbye~

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