He's So Nervous, Avoiding All The Questions

/Frank POV/

.

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(Tell me, Momon, are you seeing what I'm seeing here as well?)

I asked the man beside me, as he didn't even need to answer, giving me a sharp nod to my question.

(When in the thrice damned hells did this place have a wall?! Sir Nfirea, are you certain that this is still lthe exact same Carne Village that you-)

(I-It is, Peter. But, a stone wall? At this size? I don't really remember anything about them making any plans about walls and protection the last time that I was here.)

I stared at the kid, took a deep breath and just groaned.

(Are we about to have another repeat of THAT situation?)

My question didn't seem to be all that deep, once you looked into it, but for the Swords of Darkness that didn't really know any better, they thought it was something that we'd seen far too long ago.

(I-I, I don't quite know about that. It's not the sort of thing that would be done twice by them.)

(But wouldn't it fit what they'd do? They'd recycle the most annoying plans for the sole purpose of making things all the more painful for us? Or for any other poor bastard that they've pissed off?)

(Well, now that you say it? I can see it, but this, has a different feel to it?)

(How so? What could possibly change, when I distinctly remember the fact that they'd just made things all the same, down to the last placement OF THE FUCKING STONES AND MORTAR USED.)

I added in a bit of shouting to really sell the Swords of Darkness the idea that I was really pissed about this one.

(If it is the same, then we know what will occur, and we will still be vigilant in regards to the possible changes or variations from this fortress.)

Nfirea looked at the two of us with concern, as I grumbled, hopped off the carriage and pulled out a six shooter and changed the ammo again, before giving it a quick once over and pulling back the hammer, readying myself for things to get dirty.

Momon, quite literally went and pulled out the halberd and shield for this one. Thank God above that the man had the common sense to make it similar to a Spartan shield, which had a peculiar semicircular cutout to allow the wielder to poke things out of, or even move things aside for convenience.

It may have been on the left side, but "Momon" was ambidextrous.

(I'll take the right side, you take the left. If we find a Hydra, I'm going to blow it's body clean open with one of your summoned pixies getting strapped completely full with explosives, understood?)

(Un. And what of Shizu and Nabe?)

(Clean up duty. They can handle most of the small and deadly creatures that decide to come out of the fortress for salvation, only to realize that there are two mages, that are more than ready with deadly spells, and are extensively adept with handling blades as well, sometimes at the same time.)

(Okay. But what of-)

(Less talking, more madness to try and keep ourselves in. OPEN UP, WE HAVE SOMEONE THAT'S FROM THE VILLAGE THAT WANTS TO COME IN!)

And on top of the walls, goblins. Fuckem goblins. Albeit they weren't the stereotypical Goblin Slayer/DnD gremlins that you want to wipe off the face of the earth.

No no no no no. These guys? Understandable. Chill. Not too much of a reason to start saying the Goblin Slayer motto.

{Yet.} my thoughts betrayed me as I looked as it was a little scared that one big guy had a halberd and a fucking shield larger than it was standing outside of the walls.

(U-umm, please identify yourselves, so that, we can tell whether or not you're a....what was it called again?)

[Holy shit Ainz, I think these guys are defective as hell. I don't remember goblins having an Int stat in the negatives.]

He was about to sputter at the sheer exasperation of the situation, but then his Emotional Suppression come into clutch and saves his ass from having a minor stroke.

[That's, well, rathe rude, don't you think Mekhaine? Don't we have goblin troops as well?]

[Oh no, those guys? Completely cool with them. I actually added in a little bit of lore to each of the goblins that were there, and didn't really die all that often.

These ones however? How in the ever living shit does anyone ever try to trust a stranger at face value alone? You're a solid foot higher than two of them stacked on each other, and you have the most menacing aura out of the two of us.

Me? I'm boisterous as shit, but I got a tool ain't nobody ever seen before. That doesn't really count towards making good friends whenever you have the chance to make them.]

[...some parts of what you said, they were rather counteractive. But let's just keep RPing.]

(My name is Markus. The giant son of a bitch next to me is Momon! The two girls behind us in the carriage are Nabe and Shizu. We've accompanied the Swords of Darkness, who were paid by Mr. Nfirea here to escort him back here.

As you can tell, he's currently handling the animals. Our asses are the sorest they could be, without the possibility of getting assaulted by a-)

(That's more than enough of that, Markus! Good goblin, we would like to know, when did you and your kind arrive at the village? Were you asked by two individuals to-)

(W-wait! Calm down! Excuse me please!)

(Oh sorry about that there chief! We have some people claiming that they're with some Nfirea man. Wasn't that one of your friends?)

We heard some steps as the good little kid, otherwise know as Enri Emmott, was currently heaving as she saw the entire group.

She immediately recognized some of the members of the Pleiades, as I looked at her and did my best to convey the feeling that I didn't want us to be completely and utterly exposed.

She was a very smart girl, I'll give her that much. And she showed that intelligence when she opened the gate and allowed all of us in, hugging Nfirea as she looked at Ainz, then me, and then at the Pleiades.

[Do you hear me child?]

I tried using [Message] on her, and it worked like a real charm, seeing as she froze up a little, which may have concerned Nfirea a little, but she just waved it off as her realizing that she forgot something.

[Allow me to say this child, fate is peculiar. We were on our way back to the Village when we were made aware of your friend and the warriors that he hired having difficulties in regards to enemy creatures.

We simply thought it prudent to preserve them. But we or may not have done something that would require your assistance. We need you to act as if you never knew us.

Just for this time, you know us not. You know not what our purpose within the village is, and you won't ask any questions, understood?]

She looked a little concerned at me giving her those instructions, but she trusted me all the same, giving me a quick nod before she ran over to Nfirea to talk with him more.

(Hmm, nothing out of the ordinary, eh Momon? They get servants in the form of goblin warriors, and protection, for whatever reason.)

(Indeed. The reason, well, I suppose it wouldn't be foolish to say that the reason why they have protection is rather close to the reason why we're waiting for them to come out?)

I clenched the six shooter in hand as I took a nice deep breath and relaxed it a bit.

(Aye, and I'd like to find that reason and pepper it full of holes. Where are those fucking abominations, and when are they going to have the balls to turn up?)

At that moment me and Ainz sent [Messages] to our own "actors" and waited. Ainz was using Pandora's Actor, and I was making damn good use of V1 to come over and speak for "Mekhaine".

Two figures came in with [Gate], and thus, the drama began.

(PUT YOUR FUCKING HANDS IN THE AIR, YOUR MAGIC IN YOUR CORES AND YOUR WEAPONS WHEREVER THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO BE RESTING AT, YOU FUCKING MONSTERS!)

I aimed right at V1 as it made the sound of an overclocking computer, while "Momon" aimed at Ainz to make damn sure that they couldn't do anything to move.

(Calm thyselves, warriors, we don't want any damage done to the village now, do we?)

I couldn't help but laugh with the angriest stance tat I could pull while aiming at the fake Ainz.

(And why's that you bag o fuckin bones? No calcium in you anymore to keep you nice and strong? Oh! I have just the plan to deal with your body after I break it with the butt o me fekkin gun. I'm going to purify it, and then grind it to a paste, and turn you into my TOOTHPASTE YA RIGHT CUNT.)

Momon was also giving off some real silent anger vibes as we had one hell of a staredown.

(Neither of us wish to start this battle, the villagers are terrified of the implications of a vendetta long unfinished. Come, if you wish to try and kill me and the servant of my comrade, I invite thee to our Arena. There I shall finish what me and my friend have started.)

(Ah, I remember! Speaking of that bag of bolts, where is he eh? I see his little toy robot over there, but I don't damn think that the bastard decided to come out. Is he preoccupied? Sleeping? Or, God above permit me to sings praises of joy, dead?)

(YOU WILL CEASE YOUR INSOLENCE! I have done naught but give you options, rational, respectable options for us to make battle in, and you have done naught but insult me. You are blackguards, the lot of you.)

(We'd rather be blackguards than monsters with no sense of empathy for those that walk alongside you upon this earth, Ainz Ooal Gown, Leader of the Supreme Beings.

No amount of vengeance will ever return what you and your foul ilk have taken. But I swear here and now, that I, Momon of Darkness, shall see to it that your oblivion is predestined, personally.)

(And I, Markus of Darkness, am going to make a condiment saucer out of your skull, the very instant that I see you fall in combat, you disgusting freak.)

Man we were actually fucking killing it with the hatred that we were conveying. Pandora's Actor was doing damn well with his lines. I suppose that's one way to make good use of someone literally called an actor.

And his control over V1, oh my God, it's perfect.

(34T 5H1T, N0085.)

(Same with you, you toaster. I should've shattered your maker the moment that he was concerning himself with you, but no, no, I made a fatal error, just like the one you are.)

[You are really killing this acting gig here V1! This more dramatic than what I could've ever possibly thought of.]

[THX 8055.]

(Well, I suppose that we're at an impasse. You despise us with your every single fiber of your being for what we've done, and we hate you for your annoying human nature.

But neither of us wish to start the first attack, in fear that what we both wish to preserve are to end up destroyed with our battle. How novel, what was this concept called again?)

(Mutually Assured Destruction, relatively, foul undead. That is the concept you speak of. That is what we are both currently trying to figure out how to escape.)

(Hahaha, indeed Momon of Darkness, very well, I and my comrade will see to it that these good villagers do not discriminate against you, and when you leave, you will not worry of the possibility of me sending forth a hunting grounds for you.

And upon your end, please do not destroy all of our interests within this world. Some are not as terrible as you could imagine. Good day to you both, and to your other comrades that have not yet spoken up, for the sake of either anger, or fear.)

I put my gun down at that.

(For once, you and your little friend decided to play benevolent god, huh? Does it tickle your fancy?

Just this once, but I'll be certain right here and now, the moment you try and hurt anyone here, and if we ever catch wind of you doing what you and your friend do best, then you will be more than fucking aware of what we're going to do.

Come on, let's get some supplies and get out of here. There's no damned point looking at these bellends without getting angrier and angrier, losing more patience and starting a fight.)

Momon took a moment to compose himself and sheathed his weapon as well, making sure that he stared down the fake Ainz as much as he could, before turning his back and grabbing our gear that we flopped onto the carriage.

Nabe and Shizu had the most feral expressions of wrath evident on their faces, and I also required them to act mad at us as well, flicking our hands away when we tried to ask them to get down.

(May you never hold this grudge for too long, warriors. Me and my comrade are more than willing to work with individuals such as you.)

Pandora's Actor did such a good job with making them think that we were actually mortal enemies.

(Sorry about this, guys. It's, well, you can tell what our history is with those things. No sane man should have to bear the burden of being underneath the power of Ainz Ooal Gown.)

[Oi oi, Mekhaine, don't you think that giving away our names like that would be a little too much?]

[Heh, don't worry about it. This is just a little plan that I wanna cook up. Think about it like this way Ainz, the possibility of other Players being here before us is reasonable, and definitely falls within the fourth deviation of normal and standard distribution.

I've been doing a little bit of recon with some of my quieter units. They've found some juicy stuff, I cannot deny that. The existence of supposed Heroes that were stronger than the average bunch, Greed Kings, and even these "Gods" that the Theocracy of this world serves and praises.

We are the fourth deviation.

We are the rare chance of being one of the best Guilds getting sent to another world, albeit with a large degree of our firepower not in access, since a lot of the other members' gear and abilities is under certain locking procedures, procedures that we don't have the necessary connection's or hints for.]

[When did you even find the time to send out units?]

[Didn't I have one of the Hanzos that you had summoned send a letter to Albedo? As in, directly?]

[Hmm. I see. Still though, I don't really recall it.]

[If that's the case, then you really should ask Albedo about it. It wouldn't be very nice of her to just not give you the related information. And it would also be, well, weird.]

[Well then, I suppose that I might. Still, the chance of other Players? Are you trying to use the name of the Guild as bait for them?]

[In a sense. But it's also a warning. They hear a name of the infamous PK guild that tortured and razed their own groups to shreds, and they're going to get spooked, send other units out, and go buck wild.]

[Alright, you've convinced me. Let's get out of the Village first before we [Teleport] to the Tomb. I need to check up on Albedo about this letter that you sent and why it never came through.]