His Lips Are Dry

(Hoo. Hoooooo. Hooooooo.)

(Could you just cut that out, Mekhaine?)

(Ainz, I'm going to be real with you. This little, umm, incident that we ended up getting into? It's not exactly the sort of thing that I'd call normal, so why not just act like I'm an owl to make things more birdfucked in the head as well?)

(.....How do you ever make these sorts of statements together? Stringing the most inane yet insane mixture of words to make it sound like you were just crazy in the end?)

(I just do man, that's just the whole schtick.)

(Haaaah, okay, but I swear, this is going to be a one time thing, nothing more, nothing less, understood?)

(Crystal clear, now, you two lovebirds can just stay here for the time being.)

As to what we were talking about? Ah yes, you never saw what sort of idiocy went and manifested itself here in the Tomb.

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/Flashback to 6 Hours Ago/

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We were back in the Tomb, after going out for our little excursion with the two members of the Pleiades. We realized that we may or may not have left some materials and gear back at Carne, so we quickly used [Greater Teleportation], grabbed whatever we may have left back in the house that the local chief had given us, and went back to our personal rooms again.

At that point, things, well, they seemed to have gotten weird.

(-and that's why you don't necessarily need to use Bechamel Sauce for making carbonara.

The original recipe is just raw egg yolks and cheese getting tempered on the latent heat of the pan after you cook your cured pork, it can be bacon, or it can also be the stuff that the Italians use, like Guanciale, at least I think that's how it's been said.

You add your freshly boiled pasta into the pan, give it a couple flips, add the cheese and yolk mix into the pan, a little pasta water and some of the extra fat and meat.

And now you have your carbonar-)

(Stop right there! Ainz-sama, who is that creature beside you?!)

There was a shout behind us as me and Ainz stopped for a moment and saw that Demiurge was looking concerned and ready for battle, for whatever reason.

(Ainz, what is he on about?)

(I don't quite know. Demiurge, explain yourself, why have you called one of my comrades a creature, did you not pay respects to him when we first arrived in the New World?)

He was a little flabbergasted at what Ainz said as well.

[This feels a little concerning, something's way too off about this man. Like, really really bad levels of off.]

[You're not wrong about that. Demiurge is hostile to you. That's not the best thing for you right now. I think we should take this slow, otherwise they might attack you.]

[Wait, give me a moment, I might have a clue.]

(Allow me to introduce myself, little one. I am Mekhaine, the Supreme One who controls the Hidden Floor, and a Mec-)

(What?! There is no such thing as a Hidden Floor!)

(I assure you little one. I remember me, and all the other members of the Guild giving suggestions for making it, filling it to the brim with all of the most questionable creations feasible. It truly was one of the moments of my life.

Do you not recall V1? Megatron? My other constructs and servants?)

(I must ask you to cease these lies, there is no such thing as a Hidden Floor! Albedo! We have a situation!)

[Oh dear.]

[Why did you incite him like that! They're not the type to take things nicely when there's a possibility of traitors or spies Mekhaine!]

[I'm going to be honest here bruv, things are starting to pan in my head, but not quite yet. I still need to make sure. Ask him what was his last orders from you, that should be a good indicator as to what could be happening.]

(Demiurge, I will forgive you for your insolence in this single situation, but I wish to try and make something easier for all of us. What were my last orders to you?)

(M-my lord?)

(My last orders, Demiurge, what were they?)

(A-ah yes! They were to find a way to infiltrate the Baharuth Empire, my Lord. I was constantly trying to find a reasonable method to remove them from the board, as the Supreme Beings once called it!)

(.....oh dear.)

(The Baharuth Empire? Did I and Mekhaine not give you instructions that you were to scout them beforehand, and to assess whether or not they were a dangerous threat?)

(My lord? Those orders of yours, they were some that I received over five months ago. Are you certain that you did not order me to attack them?)

(Attack? We don't even know the capabilities that they hold.)

(Ah, Demiurge, I've finally found you, how goes the plans for having diplomatic discussions with Baharu-)

And as I couldn't just help but feel my jaw drop off of my face, there was another Ainz, right there, holding some papers, as he just saw what was right in front of him.

[.....okay, I think I figured it out. We're in the future, and I'm certain that since they didn't know about me, it could be safe to say that I didn't come along, or that I never joined Ainz Ooal Gown.]

[How could you be so clam about this situation?! That's me from the future! We're from the past! Did he get stronger, weaker? Is he more evil than what we are right now. Are we going to have to fight myself?! How would-]

(Um, hi. I'm Mekhaine, and I think we're from an alternate timeline. This is you from the other timeline, we somehow came to this version of the Tomb when we used [Greater Teleportation] and ended up here. Nice to meet you, can we not PvP right now?)

The other Ainz was just as flabbergasted about what was going on. He then cleared his throat as he addressed Demiurge.

(Demiurge, you are allowed to leave for the time being, I will be discussing with myself and "our" comrade, is that what you'd call him.)

(B-but my lord, it could be a trick, a scheme! Trust is-)

(Are you questioning me? I am capable of beating a past version of myself.)

[Oh my god, you're using so much bravado and acting skills to actually make it work all out. This is the most entertaining thing I've seen ever since Luci went and got locked into the same glitch that he used against us.]

(V-very well Ainz-sama. Please call if you require any assistance.)

He then looked at me and Ainz as he opened the door, and in came Albedo, in full armor and ready to fight us to the death.

(I've come to save you Ainz-sam.....)

She saw two of them, and promptly fainted on the spot.

(... shall we discuss what's happening right now, or should we take this somewhere more, well, quiet?)

(Ehem! I suppose it wouldn't be bad to do so. Although, I am aware that you are considered a member of the Guild, tell me something that only we within the Guild know about.)

(Bukubukuchagama is obsessed with femboys and tomboys, for whatever reason. Touch Me is a cop, and I don't really need to say about how things could get worse whenever Pero is around.)

He immediately had a spittake and nodded after collecting himself.

(I-I see, you truly are a member of the Guild, what did you say was your name again?)

(Mekhaine. By the way, did you know that Albedo is completely and utterly addicted to the idea that you wish to breed her into submission, and have dozens of children with you? Because I intend to ensure that happening to the you that came alongside with me.)

Suzuki, who is the Ainz that I came alongside with looked at me as if I was betraying him.

(You changed her settings as well?!)

He looked to his counterpart as he shouted out with exasperation about the lore of the Guardian Overseer.

(Of course I did! Tabula may be a lot smarter than us, but it was far too weird for her to be a slut!)

I piped up and raised up my hand to that little tidbit

(I'm just the guy that looked at it and saw that it made more sense that she wasn't a slut. Succubi are already naturally lascivious, for her to be a slut, would coincide and ultimately be more of a deal breaker when it comes to her lore.

It was already naturally fucked up and topsy turvy, but it was contradictory, just like all the other NPCs that Tabula made. It was the single bit of information that he decided to just keep plain.

So I was relatively okay with changing up the lore that she had for a little bit, but the part where she was in love with you? That part was a real mess up on your end there brothers, and I'm going to capitalize upon it and make you look even more skeletal than you already are at the moment.)

They just looked at me, sighed and nodded at each other.

(Alright, I believe the both of you. So tell me, what happened on your side of things? Did anything change much?)

(Well, we wouldn't really know, would we? We never told you what was happening in our world! So, allow us to have a discussion on how we could take over each of our respective worlds.)

After about an hour of talk, the solo Ainz was humming to himself and digesting in all of the information.

(Does that all seem just about right? Two Players at the same time, from the same guild within the same world. It's a lot easier than you'd think, considering that we have even more units that you have.)

(That's so true. Man, it would have been nice to have a member like you in our timeline Mekhaine-san. We wouldn't have incurred as many losses as we would have when we had the Grand Raid on the Tomb.)

(Well, life's life. Gotta make do with what you can. So, shall we discuss about how the hell are we supposed to get out of this reality and return to our own.)

(Oh yeah, I forgot that you also had to return to your own. Well, allow me to try and see what went wrong with the spell. A hidden mechanic could have been triggered and caused you to both switch over to a different world.)

(Or a third party thought it would be prudent to bring us to a different reality, similar to our own, so that they could take the time to destroy the influence that we were building up in our own.)

(Indeed indeed, we can't discount the possiblity as well. It could be another Player as well.)

I looked at the two Ainz as they discussed about what could have went wrong.

(Hey hey, tell me how much Mana do you still have left over. That might be a factor that would have contributed!)

(No, I don't think so. I've casted the spell at the same percentage before. Plus, bugs don't really work the same way as they used to back when we were still in Yggdrasil.)

I realized that there was a little bit of pressure behind me when I noticed that Albedo was looking shocked to see two of Ainz before her.

(My lord, forgive me for saying this, but have I died and entered heaven? There are two of you now.)

The other Ainz noticed that she was active once more and beckoned her over.

(Ah! Albedo, this is a me from a different reality, who came alongside with a member of the Guild in their reality. They've been casted into this world for whatever reason, and we intend to figure out the reason why [Greater Teleportation] may have backfired in the way that it did.)

(Greetings Albedo that is not our own, it's good to see that the strength and aptitude of the servants are the same as they have been in ours. It warms me to see that you still serve so diligently.)

(And hello as well, little one.)

She just looked back and forth at the two of them, not even registering that I was talking to her as well.

{Man, all of this time passing by, and I haven't committed a genocide or massacre yet, this is a new record! I gotta celebrate once we finally get back to our world.}

(A-ah! Of course Ainz-sama, and...ummm....Ainz-sama.)

The two Overlords looked at each other for a moment before they hummed at the same time.

The Ainz that I came alongside with was still wearing the Momon gear, which meant that there was a little bit of difference between the two of them, while the Ainz of the world that we dropped into was in his Guild Master attire.

(I see, allow me to alleviate some of the difficulty of the situation. You may call me Momonga, instead, to simplify the distinction.)

She was blushing up a storm like no other. I can already imagine the sort of things really running around in her head. Double boned by the bone daddies. God that was a mistake to say, I should really forget all of that.

(Y-yes, Momonga-sama! Ah! And greetings to you as well, Mekhaine-sama.)

(I knew that my presence wouldn't be that strong within your eyes whenever there was a single Ainz within the room, little one. But two of them?

I was invisible at that point. But it still proves quite well that despite there being two of the exact beings that you love, that you give some modicum of respect to another Guild member.)

She bowed to me as well, but she eventually didn't give as much of a fuck about me.

Honestly, the discussion really was going on for a long time at this point, and I was more than ready to just make use of some Eldritch Energy to insert into another cast of [Greater Teleportation], but I just wanted to see this all pan out.

My dumb ass really went and let em fucking cook. Shit ain't just well done, it ain't just burnt, that crap was Congratulations, You Did It!

They just, talked. And talked. And talked. And talked. It was nice in the first seventy minutes of them just geeking out, but I wanted a meal, and I didn't really feel that it would be right for me and Ainz to take a snack here.

The existential uncanny valley effect would make things, oh boy, mhm. So I just let them go at it further, until Ainz, and not Momonga, decided to just see if we could do the cast again.

{Finally. We get to go home! Alrighty, just insert a sliver of Eldritch into the spell while he casts, and theeeeeeen-}

The spell flashes us and we were back in Carne Village, in the same room that we were grabbing our things from.

(Okay! We're in the room, so let's cut back on the [Greater Teleportation] usage until we figure out what's wrong with it this time around. [Gate] it is, don't you think?)

Ainz just nodded at me and spoke out.

(Absolutely. I just wanted to know what Albedo was calling us for, and I for one do not want to have to deal with not seeing her for too long. She would go mad if she ever knew what we went through.)

(To be fair, it wasn't too long, hopefully. Everything seems the same.)

{I should know, I made damn sure that I injected enough energy to see it be normal again.} my thoughts were simple and plan to see.

This, this wasn't normal at all. This could be an attack from PDL, for all I know. That fucking dragon couldn't just help himself from pulsing that shit over and over to ensure that there wouldn't be anyone that has the strength of Ranker Players in the world, the little sweat.

I have half a mind to just get rid of the bastard this instant, but no. No he'll figure out why I was considered a candidate for a World Hero and World Enemy within the server at the same time.

I didn't die over a couple thousand times within the game just to have to deal with one shiny little bastard that used a fancy suit of armor for two battles.

Besides, I have access to a hell of a lot more than just some piss ass Wild Magic. If all you need to cast Wild Magic was some degree of high quality Dragon genes, then I have the biggest fucking dragon of all, and I'm pretty damn sure that her genes were immaculate.

He'll figure out, why nobody fucks with the Mechanitor.