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The Meme Train

Little thing I decide to write for the fun memes, don't take this way too seriously, if you wanna vote, vote then. Just don't act like an ass. Also the book isn't for anyone of a prudish nature, so yeah, if you are then this ain't your cup of tea, hell it's not even tea, it's a full cup of espresso. Oh yeah, the R-18 tag is there for gore, I don't know know how to write good smut, and I don't plan to write smut in this book any given time. ____________________________________________ Take a look at me for example: I died, that was painful. I got chosen to be entertainment for some dude that I never got to even meet. I cheesed the "golden finger" I got and made an entire world go straight to fuck all. Now I'm just casually being the madman that everyone says I am. Oh, and fuck cultivators. I don't like their kind around here. What do you get? Some random kid being a fucking lunatic that's what! Take a read if you want! You'll definitely regret it! (Disclaimer, I own nothing aside from my MC and any OCs I may cook up, the cover was from google, I just searched Thomas the Thermonuclear Bomb and I found Thomas the Thermonuclear Apocalypse, I came looking for copper and I found gold. Also this is a work of fiction, any names that are placed in here are yadda yadda yadda you know the drill, anything in here is coincidental.)

AntiLoliLewding · Anime & Comics
Not enough ratings
325 Chs

DON'T NEED A GUN

/Frank POV/

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Well, I was already right in front of the building that housed of the records that this city was keeping in it. Of course I'm talking about Central. I really like the fact that past me didn't go off and name every goddamned thing with an unnecessary amount of adjectives. Like fuck bro, you really have to name a fucking stick "Heavenly Demonism Dao Breaking Rod of Destruction"?

I would just fucking laugh. Two adjectives is already a mouthful for the normal people, let's not go off and write down a couple dozen for no good reason. Enough of that, I soon went through the normal sanitary procedures and made sure to wear the booties that they give us for the place. Past me had a very bad time with cultivators that were constantly bringing in diseases that the normal people couldn't handle so he just went and committed extreme amounts of arson raids and did his bed to keep things sanitized.

I swear to God, I have no fucking clue if the cultivators are just friendly to me or if they fear me so much for what I could do to them. Well, I then got into the elevator and then did my best to try and guess where the O's were at. Spoiler alert, they're at the top floor. There was one thing that past me got right, and it was wearing the Foundation mask that I had made, the same Omega sign on it and everything.

It was beautiful and I made sure to wear my best suit, which in fact was my only suit due to reasons. {Alright, my voice is the same, my mannerisms, and most thankfully they're extremely loyal to me.} I thought as I congratulated past me for doing such a great job of preparing this world for a major fucking. {Showtime.} I thought as I then entered and there the four of them were at. They were a decent bunch and I can safely say that they were doing their jobs damned well, because they have a couple dozen guards in the room and even they have guns on their person.

(Oh come on guys, is that the way you'd treat the leader?) I said as I then tilted my head since they can't really see my face. They still kept their eyes on me, until one of them started to speak. (If you don't explain in one chance about who you are and how the hell you got inside of this level, we will make your body into cheese.) O-4 said as I then laughed at his words. (Good old O-4, still trying your best to keep this place smelling like gunpowder.) I said as I then looked at each of them. They kept their masks hanged onto the chairs that they sat on whenever they had meetings, and my chair was right in the middle. (Identification Code: 69420, special phrase, NOICE.) I said as I chuckled a little bit as they then realized who I was.

(O-omega? I-Is that you?) O-1 asked as I then said (Guess who back again baby? HAHAHA.) I laughed a little as they then lowered their guns. (Also I have to give you all a little advice, I went through some very odd things and now my face is COMPLETELY different. So try not to put a bullet in my mug alright?) I said to O-4 in specific as he then nodded. I soon unstrapped my mask and let my Sebastian face come out and then they were shocked.

(Shocking ain't it? It's a pretty face but I don't quite think I'll stick with it for too long. Well, aren't you all gonna do your role call?) I said as I then sat down on the middle chair and felt it being comfy. Of course I'm gonna make our chairs comfy and endure that we don't get sores from sitting down on them all day. We had jobs to do and we made sure that we were being comfy while they happened.

(O-1 reporting, O-2 reporting, O-3 reporting, O-4 reporting. Welcome back Omega.) they all said together as I smiled at them (It's damned good to be back guys, I missed you assholes.) I smiled at them as they smiled back at my remark and shook their heads. (This is a great occasion Omega, but, how did you live? You developed cancer.) O-4 said as the rest of them nodded. (Well technically speaking, I did die, but I came back stronger and strangely enough, the story behind that is a very very very very long one. You might want the cooks to get us a couple pots of coffee, because we'll be here for a while.)

I said as I then started to tell them of the Slayer's journey, but more along the lines of that I died, went to Hell, went through most of the same things as the Slayer, killed the Icon, killed the Father and finally the Dark Lord. It was already five hours when the story finally ended. (And then I woke up in dirt and I found myself back on this rock. I don't think you'll believe me, but let's be fair, that was one bad fucking time for me.) I said as they just looked at me like a fucking madman.

(We always knew that you were special boss, but this, this is crazy, that means the gods-) O-3 spoke as I then continued (I killed gods O-3, and I am pretty damned sure, that most things in this universe aren't enough to even leave a scratch on me. Hell, I'm pretty sure that not even the Divine Realm could even take a second to look at me before I put a cap in their skulls.) I said as they were confused about what I said.

(But boss, what's the Divine Realm?) O-2 asked as I then noticed that I fucked up {Well no turning back now.} I thought as I took a deep breath and explained that the cultivators actually have a good connection to divinity. They then got scared and proceeded to have an existential crisis about the fact that they were made by cultivators.

(Hey hey hey, let's calm the hell down. They made us imperfect, because they imperfect as well, we were made in their image, but who's to say that we can't get out of their shadow. We can grow greater and bigger than any one of those idiots could ever go. And let's not forget what I invented with all of you, the very thing that makes this city a safe haven for anyone that gets caught in the crossfire of their kind.) I said as they then realized what I was talking about.

(That's right, we have the nullifier, albeit we are going to need a lot of batteries, and I think I have just the person to ask for help.) I said as I then reminded them of who was also at my "deathbed". (Truth be told, I don't trust those sword freaks at any given time, but Frozen Cloud is a pretty decent group, they could be our muscle if we know how to strum their strings right.) I said as O-4 slammed his hand on the marble. (Sir, this is by far one of the most ludicrous ideas that you've made. With all due respect, how can any of us in this city trust a cultivator? Much less a sect that doesn't even view mortals on the same scale as them.) he said as I nodded.

(Your thoughts are understandable O-4, but we need to get this through our skulls. I can fight them, but what happens if they try to hunt you guys down? The batteries won't last for that long you know?) I said as O-4 grit his teeth and realized that I was still trying my best not to get tour people killed. (Don't worry O-4 we still have other options, but most of them require a lot of waiting for certain events to occur.) I said as he then nodded and sat back down. (Alright, if my calculations are correct, we are about to get the confirmation of a very specific person visiting us, now don't panic, she's a friend that all of you know about, and she knows the correct procedures.) I said as I then laid back on the chair and placed my feet on the table.

That is, until we heard an explosion occur outside of the building, and someone, a very specific someone, shouting out saying (You dogs dare to hide him from me! You are unable to see what true power is! Now bring him to me or you shall all face death!) the person said as I smiled on the outside,but was currently questioning my life choices on the inside. {Why must you make this shit so fucking difficult Gong?} I thought as I stood up and pulled out my Bolter.

(Welp, looks like she's not in her right mind. I'll go and knock her out.) I said as I quickly dashed out of the wall and aimed straight at the woman who had a sword in her hand. I then quickly shot right near her and the explosion did it's job and knocked her straight into the building. {Gods dammit Gong, did you really have to harm the the people that I actually give a shit about?} I thought as I then sighed and slung the Bolter to my back and grabbed her firefighter style. Which is her waist being on my shoulder. Simple, don't need to see some weird ass shit for no apparent reason.

(O-4, get a chamber running, I think that I have a method to ensure that she doesn't have her powers for the time that she'll be here.) I said to the panting man as I noticed that there were a lot of people pointing their guns at me, but when I looked closer, I noticed that they were aiming at her. (Also tell them to not shoot at the Sect Leader of Frozen Cloud, as much as I'd like to have another sect cleaned off the list, her's isn't one of the sects that I hate that badly.) I said to him as he then looked at me and nodded before raising his hand and telling the officers to stand down.

(Good, get me that chamber. I have something to do at first.) I said as I then continued on with Gong on my shoulder knocked out, as I then pressed the elevator button for the top floor, I called out to the Domain. {You there kiddo?} I thought to her as she then manifested in front of me. \It's good to see you again Master.\ she said as I then nodded back to her (What can you do to take the energy from this woman, but you can't take it forever, I just want you to suck up a little more than anything that would leak out.) I said to her as I pressed all the buttons to make sure that nothing would interrupt our talk.

\I could do something as simple as that Master, the energy would even be able to mix with the monsters.\ she said as I smiled.

Now this is gonna be a bit fun, if I give the monsters Profound Energy, this'll be a big buff up for me, plus, she said that she could do something like that easily. That means that she could take all of their cultivation if she so chooses. (Well, I'll be keeping in touch with you. Keep the others safe for now, I'll be there in the dungeon when I need to be there.) I said we finally reached the destination of the top floor.

I then strapped Gong onto a chair, chained her up, and told every security guard in the room to keep their guns trained on her at all times. If she wakes up, they call me up. If she fights back, they incapacitate. And if she tries to kill, they have my permission to break a bone. (Now did you all get that?) I said as the guards nodded and I soon jumped straight back out of the same wall that was broken by yours truly.

{Alrighty then, god apples and building materials.} I thought as I then took them out and gave one to O-4. (Try it, I plan to distribute this to the people who got hurt.) I said as O-4 trusts me enough to take a large bite and he soon opened his eyes at the effects.

2117 words. Wow, plot occurs, isn't that just majestic? Anyways and as always, I'll see you guys, on the dark side of the moon! Peace out everybody! Goodbye~

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