Chapter One. I hate I love you.

"Kaylin, did you really dump Alex and be girlfriend of that mean guy?" My best friend, Kate, disgruntledly questioned me. "Alex is the ideal boyfriend of all the girls in this university, even if he is your boyfriend, there are countless girls who want to approach him. If you give him up, you probably won't get a chance to get back with him.."

I just broke up with Alex not long ago, but she already knew this. There was really no news that I could hide from Kate. 

"Don't speak so harshly!" I seriously corrected her incorrect statement. "First of all, I didn't dump Alex, the two of us parted peacefully. Second, David is not a bad guy, he can give me a good life." I hesitated for a moment and then continued. "He is the best man I could choose."

My voice was calm, in stark contrast to Kate's agitated expression. People who didn't know about us might think that the one who just broke up with boyfriend was Kate, not me.

"David is not a bad guy?" Kate put her hand on her forehead and raised her voice. "Do you know how many girls he's hurt?"

We were in the library, where quiet was very important, so Kate's loud voice immediately caused a few groups nearby to turn their heads to look at us. Their sharp eyes seemed to tell us that if they continued to bother them, they would join forces to throw us out of here.

I hurriedly motioned for Kate to lower her voice. Not to mention that we're at the library, just thinking about the topic we're discussing, I just want to immediately gag her. Of course, I didn't want the whole school to think that I had given up on my boyfriend I had known for years because of money..

Actually, that was not entirely wrong. I really was a lousy woman. Hopefully after getting rid of me, Alex could find a woman worthy of him.

"Aside from money, he has nothing. He is in relationships with a lot of girls at the same time, getting them pregnant and then denying responsibility. If you are with him, you will definitely suffer a lot." Kate lowered her voice.

Of course I understood what kind of person David was, I also understood why he approached me. It was because he was a bad guy that I agreed to be with him.. If he was a good man, then I didn't dare to be his girlfriend, much less take his money.

"I need money, David can give me money but Alex can't." I hesitated.

I was really a bad girl but I had no choice, I needed money, a lot of money and I could only rest easy when taking money from a bad guy.

"So that's why you broke up with me." An extremely angry voice appeared from behind me. Without turning around, I knew who it was.

"Alex!" Kate panicked, calling Alex's name instinctively.

Alex and I had been in love since we were freshmen. We had been together for almost four years and he never raised his voice at me. Even when I offered to break up, he just assumed I was sulking and tried to calm me down.

After breaking up, I tried to avoid Alex. I didn't have the courage to face him again and again.

Maybe Alex still thought I was just sulking, so I needed to make him hate me.

When I turned my head, the first thing I saw was Alex's angry face, his eyes filled with anger mixed with disappointment and pain. Those eyes made my heart suffocate, the initial determination also halved.

"Yes!" I looked him straight in the eye.

Alex suddenly lost control, he grabbed my hand, his hand was very strong, causing me a lot of pain. He just looked at it with cold eyes, it was really scary.

A second later, Alex let go of my hand. His voice is calmer. "If you need money, I can give you money, please give me time."

I looked at Alex with surprised eyes. When I admitted I was a pragmatist, Alex should have felt disgusted rather than humbly begging me. He was very arrogant, after all, how much he loved me to be able to humbly beg a girl who betrayed his love.

"Sorry, I can wait for you but my mom can't!" I replied.

Everyone around could hear my voice clearly. Soon all people in this school will know that I was a money greedy woman.

I smiled slightly, but inside I felt like someone was tearing me apart. My love was more important than their thoughts. If love was gone, I didn't care what they thought.

"Kaylin, I have never begged anyone for anything in my life, you are the only exception, our love is the only exception. I can do anything for this love, can't you just give me time?" Disappointment was evident in Alex's face and voice.

"I don't deserve you! There would be another girl better than me appearing in your life!" I looked at Alex. That was the only wish I could give him.

Alex was once again stunned to hear my answer. From the beginning we were destined to end up not being together, so it was better to end up here.

"Kaylin, it's not that you don't deserve me, you don't deserve our love." Alex growled.

He seemed to lose control and kicked the chair right in front of me.

"I hate you!" He shouted loudly. "I hate I love you!"

His words pierced my heart. I wanted so badly to reach up to my weak heart, but I couldn't.

A traitor had no right to grieve, a traitor had no right to be weak or to shed tears.

"Just hate me. I know I broke my old promise, I deserve to be cursed." I smiled.

In the spacious library there wasn't any sound other than the voices of the two of us. Everyone was silent because they didn't want to miss any interesting information.

"The hot boy with excellent academic achievement was dumped by his girlfriend but still holds on" must be the topic that they would discuss in the coming days.

"I will definitely succeed, you have to believe me!" Alex once again gripped my arms as if to show his determination.

"I believe you, but my mother really can't wait for that day." My words were like a splash of cold water on Alex's already cold heart.

He looked at me with surprised eyes. I had always been a rational girl and valued family, he probably didn't expect that one day my reason would turn to cold and pragmatic.

"Have you made up your mind?" Alex said emotionlessly.

I nodded.

"Hopefully you won't regret it later!" Alex smiled softly, a very unsightly smile. "Just one hold is more than enough, I hope we won't see each other again, and if we meet again by accident, let's consider each other as strangers."

Then he turned and left, never looking back.

I stood still, feeling numb. 

Goodbye!

Goodbye Alex!

Goodbye my lover!

Goodbye my youth!

Goodbye to the only warmth in my life!