Extra 19: Change the World (59)

"The others?" - Inuyasha asked, confused because he didn't see any other copies of himself.

"Oh, they're in different places in your mental space, though it's a pity you can't talk to them until you solve your problem with me" - replied the boy Inuyasha as he smiled slightly.

"My problem with you?" - Inuyasha repeated with a frown.

"He means that you fix your childhood problems, possibly the plots and desires that you unconsciously have deep in your heart" - replied Mikoto as she watched the boy nod - "See?"

"Onee-chan is right, I am a projection of all your repressed childhood traumas and desires" - nodded the child Inuyasha.

"So what do I have to do in order to get out of here?" - Inuyasha asked with a frown.

"Normally, you would just have to close your eyes and imagine you're outside, after all, this is your mental space, though surprisingly I can't feel my connection to my outer self, so it's quite likely that your other selves are behind this" - said Mikoto as she started to think.

"You can leave whenever you want, Onee-chan, our problem is with him" - replied the child Inuyasha as he looked at his original.

"With me? But I didn't do anything to you" - Inuyasha replied with a frown.

"That's what you think, although from our perspective, our appearance here is already a bad thing" - replied the child Inuyasha as he shook his head - "We live repeating the same actions, over and over again, as if it were an infinite illusion, one that we can't get out of even if we had all the strength in the world, that's why we are happy that you are here, my original."

"Do I have to kick your asses one by one?" - Inuyasha asked with a frown.

"As violent as ever, but that's not the answer" - said the child Inuyasha as he smiled disdainfully. He quickly made a door appear and disappeared from the place, leaving his original in a state of confusion that was clearly visible to Mikoto.

"I recommend you not to do anything stupid against your other versions because they represent part of your subconscious, that means that if they abruptly disappear, it could cause you tremendous psychological damage" - Mikoto said seriously.

"I understand, I won't kill them" - replied Inuyasha with a frown before looking at the door - "I guess I have to go inside".

"Exactly" - nodded Mikoto as she opened the door and looked inside, noticing how on the other side of the door there was an image of the village, only this time in black and white - "Hmm, interesting."

Inuyasha didn't answer, he just walked in silently as Mikoto followed with a small smile.

* * * * *

"Do you remember any of this?" - Mikoto asked as she watched as the child Inuyasha was trying to play with the other children, but they ran away as they seemed to be terrified of his appearance.

"Yeah, it was years later that I found out that the kids were running because their parents had told them shit about me" - Inuyasha replied with a frown.

The image changed to one where Inuyasha was playing with the other children with a huge grin on his face.

"And this?" - Mikoto asked curiously.

"This was my childhood dream, I wanted to have friends to play with" - replied Inuyasha as he sighed regretfully - "The truth is that there were children who tried to talk to me, but their parents reprimanded and punished them when they found out, this spread to the others and that's how I was left alone..."

The image again changed to a beautiful black haired woman hugging the child Inuyasha, only for the image to break and transform into a scene of the bloody woman in front of an unknown man and little Inuyasha shivering in hiding.

Inuyasha gritted his teeth as he felt an enormous helplessness.

"Why do you think it's your fault?" - asked the child Inuyasha as he looked at his adult version - "Why do you have to burden me with this enormous weight?"

"Because it was my fault, if I hadn't been born, my mother wouldn't have been attacked by those bastards" - replied Inuyasha as he gritted his teeth in fury - "If I had gone out to play in the forest like she said, those bastards wouldn't have followed me..."

Mikoto frowned because no loving mother would like to hear her child curse their birth.

"You are not to blame..." - A female voice said.

"Mother?" - Inuyasha asked in surprise as a white silhouette appeared in front of him.

"I see that you put a fragment of your soul into your son's subconscious" - said Mikoto with surprise.

"Yes, this was the only way I could watch my baby grow up" - Izayoi replied as she smiled slightly, though her attention quickly moved to her baby - "Inuyasha..."

"Mother..." - Inuyasha murmured as he bit his lip because he didn't want to show weakness.

"You've grown so much" - Izayoi said as she hugged her son.

Inuyasha's body froze before he felt his mother's warm love invade his body, and now that he felt it again, it felt different from the affection the Muonna gave him during his first meeting with Sesshomaru.

"Mother..." - said the child Inuyasha as he began to cry.

"I'm sorry I couldn't do anything for all these years" - Izayoi said with regret because she had seen how this version of her son was constantly watching his death - "I'm sorry."

"No, I'm happy to see you again" - smiled the child Inuyasha, as if he had forgotten all the suffering he had gone through all these years.

"Inuyasha, please don't keep blaming yourself for my death" - said Izayoi as she looked at her adult son.

"But, if I had listened to you, you wouldn't have passed away" - said Inuyasha as he bit his lip.

"No, my death was coming one way or another" - replied Izayoi regretfully as she caressed her son's cheek - "Fate had already started to move."

"I don't understand" - Inuyasha said regretfully.

"Inuyasha, after I died, I managed to see things that you wouldn't believe, things that I can't tell you for fear that fate will distort and end up causing you harm" - said Izayoi as she bit her lip - "That's why I want to tell you that you don't have to blame yourself, you didn't cause my death."

"Fate?" - Inuyasha repeated in frustration - "Are you saying that you were destined to die that day even if I had gone to the forest?"

"Yes, if you had gone to the forest, I would have followed you and quite possibly a Yokai would have killed me" - Izayoi replied regretfully.

Inuyasha was silent as he bit his lip - "Fuck fate, I don't care if that's what the gods decided, they had no right to take my mother away from me!"

"I know, but there's nothing we can do" - Izayoi replied as she shook her head.

"Kurama-san can help us, he can revive you!" - Inuyasha exclaimed firmly.

"What if I don't want to come back to life, Inuyasha?" - Izayoi asked as she looked at her son with a complexed expression.

"Y-you don't want to come back?" - Inuyasha repeated with a broken expression - "Why?"

"Because this world has no one who needs me" - replied Izayoi as she shook her head.

"I need you!" - Inuyasha exclaimed with tears in his eyes.

"No, you have someone who loves you as much or more than I do" - replied Izayoi with a smile - "My presence is no longer required."

Inuyasha bit his lip, though he quickly let out a sigh.

"Son, please stop letting the past hold you back and look to the future" - Izayoi said as she felt his body begin to fade.

"Ok..." - Inuyasha muttered as he felt as if a weight was lifted off his shoulders.

"Although I would like to confess something" - said Izayoi as she looked at her son before she started to turn invisible - "And that is that I won't be able to see my grandchildren directly.... And I'm sure they will be beautiful."

Inuyasha blushed as Mikoto let out a small laugh.

"Please take care of my baby, he may appear to be tough, but he has suffered more than enough" - Izayoi's voice said before disappearing - "Thank you for letting me talk to my little Inuyasha..."

Inuyasha was silent as he watched his other self slowly start to disappear - "Are you okay?"

"My disappearance, it means that you have already started to accept the past and the fact that you are not to blame for our mother's death" - replied the child Inuyasha as he nodded calmly - "That means that I won't have to suffer anymore."

"I'm sorry" - muttered the adult Inuyasha.

"Don't apologize, after all, you suffered as much as I did" - said the child Inuyasha before disappearing.

Inuyasha was silent before letting out a sigh as a door appeared in front of them - "I guess we have to go in there."

Mikoto nodded with a smile.

"Please don't tell anyone about what you saw" - Inuyasha said before entering the door.

"Ok" - nodded Mikoto calmly.