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The Last Heiress of Oblonsky, Beatrix

The sound of guns... The darkness... The smoke... Then, oblivion. Everyday, I am haunted by my nightmares. Everytime the thunder roll and lightning strikes, I shivered. Looking outside my window, I am writing my daily journal and poetry today... To release all the pains and tensions from my past. And I wrote.. December 18, 1980 Myshkin, Russia My beloved, Have you ever ask yourself... What's your life purpose? If.. Are you doing the right thing? Are you on the verge of confusion, loneliness, unhappiness and being stagnant? Day dreaming into your own world? Too much questions filled in your heart and mind. Too much of everything that you don't want. Too much! To clear out my confusion and to have more clarity about myself, I dig deeper inside me. Reminiscing my childhood moments and cherish them. Facing the darkest and painful moments of my memories. Those memories of repeating horror, memories of loss, memories of death. Yes, I did face it all. I cried hard. After decades of those patterned memories... This is the first time that I realized.. How I treated myself so badly. And I really wanted to give back to myself. By appreciating my past. Appreciate yourself more... Love yourself more... And you will discover more... I have discovered each words, all feelings, expression, harmony just fits well to take steps in writing this poem for my past. ***A LETTER FOR MY PAST SELF*** My dearest self in the past... I have been visiting you lately in a vast... You are carefree, immature and FEARLESS, You go out more, loving the sun and grasses, Full of sweat and sun-kissed from above. Joyous days, feet touching stones and green Oh How glorious those days have been Flowing like water in every storms within And wind touches, caressing my skin Telling me, It's ok dear, everything has it's purpose". A path full of journey and a dead rose All those rise and fall, I am with you... All those tears and laughter, I am with you.. I am always with you til the end of time

L_stellaluna · History
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60 Chs

THE NEW LIGHT

I’m sailing on my yacht again today.

It’s been two months now from the time that I lost her.

Reminiscing the moments of what we had shared always makes my heart crumble.

I couldn’t believe that I lost her like a mist in the air.

Just as my brother Mikael drive himself to death as he was about to return to the Palace.

“Your Highness! King Sven and Queen are waiting for you at the library” Mr. Berggman called knocking on the door.

Oh, God! The sun is not even up! What’s happening?

I opened the door, wearing only my pajama shorts, and rushed to the library.

Mr. Bergmann ushered me to a seat while my parents widen their eyes looking at my bare chest.

“Goodness, Stefan!” They said in unison.

I just brush off my hair and shrugged. I couldn’t bother those reactions, I still feel dizzy and dopey.

“Stefan... “ He sighed. King Sven, is trying his best to avoid being hysterical.

"We need to go to the hospital" he continued.