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THE LAST HEIRESS OF OBLONSKY, BEATRIX

The sound of guns... The darkness... The smoke... Then, oblivion. Everyday, I am haunted by my nightmares. Everytime the thunder roll and lightning strikes, I shivered. Looking outside my window, I am writing my daily journal and poetry today... To release all the pains and tensions from my past. And I wrote.. December 18, 1980 Myshkin, Russia My beloved, Have you ever ask yourself... What's your life purpose? If.. Are you doing the right thing? Are you on the verge of confusion, loneliness, unhappiness and being stagnant? Day dreaming into your own world? Too much questions filled in your heart and mind. Too much of everything that you don't want. Too much! To clear out my confusion and to have more clarity about myself, I dig deeper inside me. Reminiscing my childhood moments and cherish them. Facing the darkest and painful moments of my memories. Those memories of repeating horror, memories of loss, memories of death. Yes, I did face it all. I cried hard. After decades of those patterned memories... This is the first time that I realized.. How I treated myself so badly. And I really wanted to give back to myself. By appreciating my past. Appreciate yourself more... Love yourself more... And you will discover more... I have discovered each words, all feelings, expression, harmony just fits well to take steps in writing this poem for my past. ***A LETTER FOR MY PAST SELF*** My dearest self in the past... I have been visiting you lately in a vast... You are carefree, immature and FEARLESS, You go out more, loving the sun and grasses, Full of sweat and sun-kissed from above. Joyous days, feet touching stones and green Oh How glorious those days have been Flowing like water in every storms within And wind touches, caressing my skin Telling me, It's ok dear, everything has it's purpose". A path full of journey and a dead rose All those rise and fall, I am with you... All those tears and laughter, I am with you... I am always with you til the end of time. You have no choice, we are both destined. Oh loving sun and dreamy moon, Grace us the light in our path divine, My past self, I thank you! For the wonderful memories... In my troubled present, found peace in you. Beatrix ********************************************** As I closed my journal... I just hear my Nana's footsteps and call out. "My princess, it's dinner time. Don't forget your coat, it's a bit freezing today!." "Yes, coming Nana!." I checked myself in the mirror for the last time, before sharing the table with Nana. The beauty in the mirror speaks of simplicity and elegance. I'm tall at my age of 15, around 183cm, with soft silver wavy hair and emerald green eyes. I'm looking at the reflection of my mother. And before my tears fall. "Beatrix?" A hint of annoyance in Nanas voice. "Yes, sorry Nana." Then, we silently eat our beetroot soup. In the same month, in different year. Our mother gather all of us, her children, near the fireplace hearth, made of granite and marble stone. My eldest brother Maxim played the piano while my older sister Annika played the flute. While me and my mom, cheerfully singing. Then, our beloved father Dimitri, joined us in our joyfulness. Amidst our liveliness, the commotion outside the House of Oblonsky raised our fears. People shouting with torches and guns. My father Dimitri was stunned. I'm crying in horror. I hugged my father...for the last time. When.... My small voice... bellowed "NO!!!!" "Mama, Papa..." "Maxim, Annika..." 

L_StellaLuna · History
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35 Chs

THE GRIEF

Nana is dead.

Lada is kidnapped.

Captain Viktor, the captain of the yacht is luckily alive.

He helped me through the remaining hours of our voyage.

We are now closed to the port of Moscow.

I changed clothes.

Since the suitcase is still in the cabin.

I checked the contents of it.

Nana prepared everything for me.

I hugged the suitcase tight.

It reminded me of how loving and caring my Nana is.

My tears dried up.

My heart aches, too much pain, too much grief.

I felt something hard in the suitcase pocket.

I opened the small outside front pocket.

A small velvet black pouch is inside.

With a hand stitched name on it "Beatrix".

Then, I pull out the content.

A gold necklace with a gold locket cage egg pendant with a bullet inside.

And a small piece of folded paper comes with it.

It reads...

To my beloved Princess Beatrix,

Keep it safe.

Give it to your Uncle Charles.

Love,

Nana.

Tears started to fall again.

My eyes are puffy and swollen.

My head is aching.

O how cruel they are!

They killed my family.

They killed my Nana.

They kidnapped my only friend, Lada.

I will make sure, they will pay for it!

I returned the necklace into the pouch with the message and put it in my leather hand bag.

I lay down in bed and rested to nap.

Then, the yacht blown it's horn.

I'm awaken from a nightmare.

I heard voices from above.

Then a knock on the door of the cabin, forced me to stand and open the doors.

I saw...

"Leonid!?!?!"

I run to hugged him and cried.

"What happened? I have been here waiting past the hours of your supposed arrival Princess. Where's your Nana?"

I cried narrating the happenings.

Leonid was shocked and stunned by the news.

His heart is broken.

He cried hopelessly.

Then he said "I'm so sorry... I was not there to protect all of you. O my loving Irina. Her death will never be forgotten."

He hugged me tight with tears in eyes.

And he continued " Our Princess, as scheduled, I will bring you to Alaska for your safety, as instructed by your Nana. We will change to a different boat. Are you ready?"

I nodded in response.

I took my hand bag, a wool coat and a new winter head scarf.

Then Leonid took the suitcase for us to move to another boat.

We are very cautious and mindful as we walk through the port.

Leonid is very vigilant.

We avoid crossing through crowded area.

Concealing ourselves from people will protect us.

We walk swiftly.

Leonid brought with him his firearm, securely in a gun holder on his waistline.

He even give a small pistol to keep in my hand bag, for me to be able defend myself.

Leonid never failed to educate me and Nana on how to use a gun and self defense.

I have my own tutor for my studies in language, arts, music and business.

All throughout the years of my concealment.

Education is always on top priority.

Leonid stopped and talked to a man in sailors uniform.

The ship's name printed in front "MARVEL"

I surveyed the people in the boat.

They are all carefree and full of merriment.

A joyful music is filling the air.

Then, Leonid called me to move and step into the stairs.

And I silently followed him.

"We will travel two days to Alaska." Leonid said, while a crew carried the suitcase.

I'm distracted by the crowd around us.

We are walking through the alley and going into our private cabin.

We passed through a big banquet hall with dining tables.

I'm amazed by the it's elegance.

I am stunned by a painting in the wall.

It reminded me of our family's last picture.

"Amelia? " Leonid called.

"Yes, I'm coming." I responded.