Thirty Two

I look up at the time on the alarm clock. It's just past midday. Abbs should still be home, seeing how it's around seven in the morning. I picked up my tablet and dialled her number. I should have FaceTimed her a while ago. She must be beyond worried. After a few rings, she finally picked up. "I'm glad to see that you're still in one piece. How have you been?" Abbs asked sincerely. I smiled meekly at her. "I've had better days, but life just aren't the same without him. I miss him so much," I stated. "Then get your ass on a plane, he misses you too." My eyes teared up by hearing her revelation. "I can't. Not now. Not yet!" "For God's sake Sam, what do you mean by that? Haven't you had enough time to clear your mind?" Abbs harshly asked me twin questions. "Yeah, I have but I literally can't come back now. I have to stay until the end of October," I swallowed. Her facial expression, unreasonable. "What do you mean? Why?" A year escaped from my eye and rolled lonesomely down my cheek. It didn't go unnoticed. "Sam, talk to me. What's wrong?" I wiped the tear away with the back of my hand. "Doctor Carter don't want me to get aboard a plane until my..." I left the sentence unfinished. I sighed deeply. "I'm pregnant, Abbs!" She covers her mouth in shock. "Please! Please, don't tell Namjoon?" I begged of her. "He has a right to know about this. He's frequently asking out about your whereabouts. He loves you Sam," she informed me. I placed a hand upon my stomach as I responded: "I know Abby. I love him too. This is me keeping him safe." She huffed at my reply. "Are you sure about that or are you just purposely withholding the truth from him?" I looked at her in complete dismay. "How could you even ask me that, Abbs? I love him more than words can say. I want him to be a part of our lives." I inhaled sharply before continuing: "I'm keeping him safe from my psycho father. He would literally blew if word were to caught wind and kill Namjoon on the spot. I know what his capable of, sad to say that his not bluffing either." By now tears were freely falling. Her expression softened. I can really use a hug right now. "I won't tell," she agreed. I know that she can't promise me that she won't tell Seokjin about the pregnancy, but I'm grateful nonetheless. "Will you please do me a little favour, Abbs?" I asked her hopefully. She nodded. Her eyes telling me that I should name it. "Would you kindly send Namjoon my love? Tell him that I miss him irrevocably." New tears were already forming behind my eyes. She gave me her word that my message will be delivered. I promised her that I would keep her updated about the pregnancy and how I will send a photo of the first sonar printout. With that being said, we greeted each other. I so badly want to give Namjoon a call and ask him to fly over. Tell him about everything and how much I need him to be here with me. A soon as I reached his number, my courage faded away. I should have asked Abbs to send me a photo of him. That way I could look at it and know that this isn't just some bizarre dream.

Days came and went in a blur, it's hard to keep track. In the meantime, I meet up with my sister and her husband. They were all happy for me. I informed them how my soulmate as well as the father of my unborn child is Asian. They too had no ill words to say about it. Instead they told me that they would help talking some sense into dad's head. This is my life. We're talking about our baby's future. Before I knew it, I were back at the practitioner's office. After taking a urine sample and making sure that my iron levels are fine, the Doctor asked me to lay down. He rolled a 3D sonar scanner into view. "This will be a little cold, so just relax," he warned me beforehand. He squirted a decent amount of gel on top of my tummy. He pushed a small device (which reminds me of an old phone) over my stomach. Almost instantly I'm greeted by a strong heartbeat. "There's your baby," he said as he zoomed in on the fetus. I touched the monitor's screen with my index finger. "Hello baby," I said with a smile. He laughed at my reaction. "You're going to make a wonderful mother." I smiled at him dearly. He took the measurements of my baby, write down some mental notes and asked: "Would you like to know the gender?" I nodded at Doctor Carter. Excitement washed over me. "It's a baby boy." Tears pricked at my eyes, like I haven't cried enough as of lately. He smiled warm-heartedly as he handed me a tissue. "The father must be just as excited to meet this little one," he asked rhetorically. I lied to the Doctor. Thankfully he didn't take much notice in my dishonesty. "Doctor may I please trouble you for a printout?" I asked. He nodded, pushed a few random buttons and gave me a black and white photo. I can't wait to inform my family and Abbs about the newest details. A healthy baby boy. A pang of guilt hit me like a wrecking ball. Namjoon should have been the first to know!