February and raisins, envelope, chocolate, and Time

It was cold.

Still not cold enough for me, but cold enough to make me satisfied with my decision to go home.

It was a weird feeling that caught me every time I walked in the middle of the main road. It was a mix of The Stray Cat Feeling and something like I Finally Know What I'm Doing Even For A Second Feeling.

And a little bit of Please God Don't Let Any Lost Car Jostle Me Feeling. But only a little bit, because as I said the risk was rather none.

When I reached home my nose and cheeks were all red from the temperature. I didn't even need to check it in the mirror. It was always that way.

I knocked and the door opened straight away like someone waited on the other side.

"Hey, May." I said.

May smiled and hugged me in response.

"Oh, stop it. You're sick!"

"Not anymore! I'm feeling better!"

I got out of her arms and without taking off my boots I dashed into the kitchen.

"Ew. With raisins?"

"I like raisins."

"God..."

It was a complicated operation to get the raisin out of a cookie without damaging its shape. I got to work with May staring at me with puzzlement. Like I didn't do that before.

"So... She left me a letter, right?" I said after a moment of hesitation.

"Yeah."

"Where it is?"

"I should have known that you care."

"I don't! Where is it?"

I freed one of the cookies of raisins and admired my work for a while, before getting it into my mouth.

"But.. Why block her then?"

I didn't respond. I was chewing the cookie. It was not so bad and still a little warm, which I appreciated, but raisins... They left a mark on this poor cookie.

"Feb?"

"You don't know her..." I said finally.

"So?"

I shook my head and took the next cookie to free it of raisins.

"She is..."

May frowned.

"It doesn't even matter! Where is this letter?"

"On your desk."

I packed a cookie into my mouth and got into my room. My desk was a mess, but a letter was there indeed. The envelope was a little crumbled, so I didn't feel bad when it rent a little.

"Febbie, I know you're mad, but I really need you. I'm at Chocolate's.

T."

"Feb?"

"Yeah?"

"Everything okay?"

"Yeah..."

I turned to May. She looked tired and like she needed sleep.

"Want something from Chocolate's?"

Chocolate's wasn't crowded. People liked to go there in the evenings after school for work with friends and family.

It was a cozy place, however, you could easily see that furniture and tables were old and kinda worn out. You could... Unless you've loved this place for years and you could never admit that this pink floor hopelessly needed a mop or these spindly-looking chairs needed a cleaning. Even when you've come here in the middle of a day, not like usually...

I and my heartbeat stopped at the door. I haven't seen Time for a month. A month that didn't feel like a month at all...

If she didn't reach out to me I know I would have finally called her and apologized for... For what exactly? I thought of her so often since our fight I wondered if she didn't trick me into this in some way.

I didn't want to admit it, but it scared me, what she could do. If I were to admit it, I would have to concede that meeting her now was a mistake.

I pushed the door and the scent of melted chocolate filled my nose. I smiled yet my nerves were on edge.

"Time... Please don't do this again..." I thought.

I spotted her. Her long hair on her back and slender shoulders.

I imagined this conversation so many times and now... I forgot all the words. But still, I missed her, her voice, her face...

I got to her table.

"Time?"

She turned to me and grinned.

"Hey, Febbie! I got you hot chocolate with cinnamon! It will warm you up."

"I'm not cold."

She laughed. I sat next to her, but she still felt distant.

"Yeah, that's what you say."

She didn't order anything. Not a brownie, as she promised, not chocolate. It was my favorite place, not hers.

I stared at her as she checked her phone and then fixed her hair.

It was really disappointing of her not to like chocolate, especially when her eyes were just in the color of a well-backed brownie and I could trade-off all of the cacao in the world for her smile as it was sweeter than all chocolate I could ever eat.

I blinked. I felt blush on my cheeks and heat on my neck beside the collar of my third sweater and my skin.

"Time?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you doing this?!"

She chucked.

"Doing... What exactly?"

"Sweeter than all chocolate I could ever eat?" What?! I... I didn't think that..."

"But you could have, right?"

She did this. She did this again.

"What the hell?! How can I ever trust you?! I told you not to..." I shook my head. "You still don't understand! You can't mess with people like that!"

"Oh, it was a joke! Don't be mad!"

"It's not funny!"

"Oh, well... I'm sorry."

She didn't look sorry.

"Do you read minds?" I asked one more time. "Be honest."

"No. I already told you. I can suggest you to think particular thing... And I can't even check if it worked... And yeah, I play with time. But that's all! Promise!"

I didn't want to fight anymore. I wanted to kiss her and she...

I blinked.

"Time!" I screamed. "Stop!"

She shrugged.

"God, Febbie. I didn't do anything."

"You..." I was sure I didn't think that. I just wanted to talk... "I... We need to talk."

"As you wish." She smiled again.

It was easier to breathe when she was around. She could make the world easier. If she pleased she could, make someone kinder or more relaxed. Also with her all of the boring places I visited alone suddenly reminded me of some fantasy novel lands...

But how could I even know if it was my opinion or hers?

"You need to stop messing with my head."

She played with her hair.

"But you like it when I mess with others."