The Burden

Jay is a boy who has a sunshine like personality but when he teach us the dance steps it changes randomly.

No one expect him to be this strict and scary.

He is like Yoo when it's about dance practice.

He caught every single mistake that we make. Even if it's just too minor to be noticed he, make us repeat from the beginning of the music.

Everything should be perfect.

"Again.. One two three four... five six seven eight bam!" He is showing the choreography of the song he made one more time.

"Now everybody." I tried to follow the step but they are too fast.

"Bro!What are you doing?"

I flinch knowing that he is talking about me.

Again..

"Stop.. Stop.."

He made us all stop.

I feel like I'm slowing down the practice..

I inhaled deeply.

He stood beside me then repeated the dance step.

"Yeah.. thats right... your getting it now.."

I showed my best..

"Aish.. I'll take a break first."

Yoo lay on the floor.

"Bro, repeat this until you get it. I'll teach Joon too."

He went to Joon to show the exact dance move.

I stop dancing.. Did I made the right choice to be in this group?

I looked around everyone is doing well.

I feel like I'll drag this team down.

"Bro, are you okay?"

I nooded. I continue practicing. After the end of our dance practice schedule. They all left. Only Joon and me decided to take more time.

"Bro, we need to work harder."

I look at him. I feel like he felt the same.

"We can do it." It is more like I am convincing myself.

We spend more hours, we didnt notice the time. Its 3 am already.

We decided to leave and go home.

At the dorm everything is quiet. The lights are off.

I saw food on the table with a note on it.

"Just heat this before you eat." The note says.

After heating the food I saw Joon writing down something.

"What's that?"

I places the food on the table. We started eating.

"I'm writing lyrics for our album."

I feel guilty.. They are working so hard. I am the oldest but I feel like I am being useless and my effort is just not enough.

It's been hard for me to sleep that night. What can I do to help the group?

The next day, I woke up with my body feeling heavy. My muscles is aching but still I need to go and practice.

I wear sweat shirts and baggy pants to be more comfortable.

I saw them eating breakfast.

I remembered how JM tried to loose his weight for the group.

I ate just enough to relieve hunger.

I need to lose weight too.

We walk from the dorm to the practice studio.

I saw a school supply store.

I ask them to leave first. I need to buy something.

I went derectly to the notebook section of the store.

I bought a notebook and a pen.

Maybe I can write lyrics for the group too.

Its been a month now since we all been together. I need to help. I need to do something.

I entered the practice room.

I saw Jay with a serious look.

"We've been waiting for you."

I feel bad. I know that I'm not good as them, I get tired easily too I feel like I'm getting old.

No, I am older than them.

I need to work two times more than they do.

"I'm sorry." I said.

JM whispered again.

"Bro, are you okay?"

I tried to give him my brightest smile.

"Of course."

We all start practicing. The practice went well.

But I still feel like I need to improve more.

I spend days doing the same routine.

Not like the other days. Joon left early to submit his song to our producer. I was left alone practicing.

I need to work harder.

I feel like my body is getting heavy again.

My body is out of energy.

I lay on the floor..

I heared the door open.

"Bro, are you okay?" I saw JM standing beside me. He looks worried.

"You're still here" I sat down.

"You scared me! I thought you collapse."

" I laugh, of course not. I am very healthy you know."

"You're eating less and you practice late too. I am afraid you'll end up like me before."

I saw that he's concerned.

"Don't worry."

I get up to continue practicing.

" Bro, you know what, if you need help, you should just ask for it."

I look at him.

"I don't like to bother you guys."

"Lets practice together from now on. I'll help you get better."

He explained everything to me slowly. JM's patience made me learn more.

After an one hour we decided to go home.

"I feel like I can do everything now." I said. We are walking on our way to the dorm.

"Bro, If you're having a hard time, It wont hurt you to ask for help. We are a group remember. Let's fill each other gap. That's what will make this team as a whole. You always comfort us and make us laugh, it's a big thing for the group. You always take care of us. Let's take care of each other weaknesses from now on."

Jimin is younger but I feel like he is more reliable and talk maturely than me sometimes.

"Okay, lets do that then."

I gave him a smile.

We entered the dorm.

"Did you practice late again?"

They are all sitting in the living room.

"I'm sorry, bro if I gave you a lot of pressure last few days." Jay stood up and tapped my shoulder.

"We are waiting for you Jin bro. You've been acting weird lately." Hyun has a really strong sense when other people is feeling down.

"Im okay now. I understand you Jay. All of us should work hard if we really want to be a great team.Thank you for worrying."

"How about ordering chicken? Let's just keep it a secret." Yoo said.

My stomach begun to growl.

"That's a good Idea." Joon make his way to call the delivery.

I feel like there is nothing to worry now.

We are eating like there is no tommorrow.

"Woah! Chicken is really the best!"

Hyun said making sure that every meat is cleaned off the chicken bone.

"Its been a month since we have this." JK agreed.

Someone knocked on the door. We all looked at each other.

"I think its manager." Jay said.

We all panicked.

I hid the boxes of chicken with the throw pillows of the sofa.

Namjoon place his chicken on his pocket.

JM tossed the bones under the table.

We made sure that everything is clear.

We heared the door open. Manager has his spare key.

We all tried to act normal.

Manager entered.

He scanned the room.

"It smells like chicken."

Our shoulder dropped.

I saw Hyun continue chewing.

We are all dead.