6 Democracy Manifest
Disclaimer: I own nothing but my original characters and works, if you recognise it from somewhere else, surprise it isn't mine.
Betad by morde24, Atrius, Hermes, Priapus, Marethyu, Old man of the mountain, TheDonFluffles, Malcolm Tent and Mike, God of Lore
The Guild of Gamers: The Tinker
Chapter 06: Democracy Manifest
— Jack Slash —
Something was… off about this one. He didn't know what, but something about Zero was putting him on edge.
But Mannequin wouldn't be deterred from attempting to take down this new Tinker trying to save the world.
Sitting in the back of the camper van, he hid his misgivings. It wouldn't do for the others to see that he wasn't exactly eager for this-
As the Siberian suddenly popped out of existence, the entirety of the Slaughterhouse Nine (now eight) froze in place for a brief moment in sheer confusion, looking to him for answers.
…what the fuck just happened?
— RK800 #001: Connor —
Sitting several miles away, he put his weapon away with a satisfied smile as he sent the objective accomplished message back to headquarters.
William Manton was reduced to a pile of ash, with one shot from his rifle.
One down, eight to go.
— Jack Slash —
Okay, so he was definitely right to be worried about this mess.
"Uncle Jack, where is-" Bonesaw started, cutting off with a gasp as their van was engulfed in a flash of light.
"We're under attack, my dear, let's see who was foolish enough to try-" Jack started, cutting off himself as he heard a truly loud footstep.
Stepping out of the van, he looked up.
And up again, craning his neck to meet the face of the metal behemoth walking towards their van, now in the middle of some desolate wasteland.
"Yes!" Crawler shouted, excitement in his inhumanly-deep voice as he started to charge the fifty-foot tall mech.
"Communism detected on American soil, lethal force engaged!"
He had many questions, such as where Crawler had gone, as the mech turned its head towards the charging monster and simply blasted him with a beam of light from its visor.
As the beam cleared, Crawler was gone, along with the ground he'd been standing on.
What the fuck was going on?! No, this wasn't how it was supposed to go, he didn't under-
"America will never fall to communist invasion!"
He wasn't a communist!
What was that stupid-
Was that a fucking nuke?
As the mech pulled its arm back, all he could do was fearfully slash at it with his blade, utterly ineffectually as the mech tossed the nuclear bomb at them like it was a fucking football.
As the nuke hit the ground, the modifications Bonesaw made to him let him survive just long enough to hear one more thing, true fear flooding him for the first time in years.
"Democracy.... is non-negotiable."
What the fuck?
— KeI Hayashi (Zero) —
Heh.
"Zero, I truly think you're the greatest tinker since Hero. Perhaps even greater than him," Dragon starts as I giggle to myself.
"Thanks, so what's the 'but'?"
"But why on earth does that robot talk like that?" Dragon continues as I snort.
"Ah, you wouldn't get it. It just wouldn't be Liberty Prime if it didn't think everyone it was fighting was a communist," I explain.
"You realise that the PRT is going to panic when they hear about this? Being able to teleport things to another earth is bad enough but the fact that you also built a nuclear bomb and a robot that could throw it won't be accepted easily," Dragon warns.
"I know, but making the Slaughterhouse Zero is worth it," I say unapologetically, shrugging at the camera.
I decidedly don't mention the other nukes I've made. Gipsy Danger is a walking nuclear bomb that makes Liberty's footballs seem like firecrackers.
Of course, I've upgraded Liberty Prime considerably from its game counterpart. How do you kill something that constantly adapts? You reduce it to atoms in an instant. Crawler was dumb enough to stand there and take it.
Hey, he liked pain. I'm sure he had a great time, for all of the split-second he was being reduced to dust.
"I can't disagree, I've seen their handiwork entirely too much," Dragon admits. "Again, 'Liberty Prime' isn't self-aware?"
"Nope, I just programmed him to talk like that because I found it funny," I admit, making her chuckle.
"Well, I can't say I disapprove. Jack Slash deserved to die like this, utterly confused and fearful. Thanks for sharing Liberty Prime's visual data," Dragon says, as I look at the last frame of Jack Slash's existence.
The look of fear and sheer bafflement makes me smile. Heh, I think Shatterbird pissed herself. Aww, did I not have any silicon in my tech?
Democracy is Truth, Communism is Death, you fucking murderhobos.
"No worries, you'll handle the PRT side?" I ask, making her nod.
"I will. The bounty will be handled as requested, this is truly a wonderful way to start the day," Dragon says cheerfully, making me smile.
Dragon is the nicest Worm character by far, so when even she is cheerful at someone getting nuked you know they're a piece of shit.
"Thanks, I've got some other stuff to take care of so I'll talk to you later," I say, giving the camera a wave.
Her knowing my face changes exactly nothing and it's a show of trust that won me some good boy points with the Guild.
"Of course, enjoy your day Kei," Dragon says, giving me a wave.
"You too, Tess," I reply, ending the call as I immediately get to work.
Dragon is truly best girl, an adorable cinnamon bun in a world of trash.
So, a certain self-righteous douchebag needs to be dealt with.
Did he really think he could come to my city without me finding out?
Moron.
— Geoffrey Pellick (Saint) —
Sitting at his computer in the abandoned factory the Dragonslayers were using for a hideout in Brockton Bay, he felt true fear at the firepower Zero had at his disposal.
Liberty Prime was giving Dragon ideas, she was looking up at that nuke tossing behemoth and getting inspired.
Once more, he looked down at the briefcase holding Ascalon, its activation only one push of a button away.
They had found no way to track down Zero, or Kei, as he now knew the teenage tinker to be named.
Wonderland Productions was owned by Kei, but Kei himself never showed his face there. In fact, he hadn't been seen in over a year, since his trigger, presumably.
Dragon was his best bet at finding Zero before the fool actually doomed the world by making something that made Dragon seem like a simple computer virus.
Pressing no, he froze.
Ascalon Activated
But- he pressed the no key?!
Desperately typing, he froze as all three of their stolen suits came to life, eyes glowing.
What the fuck was going on?
Out of his suit and panicking over both the Dragon Suits and Ascalon that was beeping and whirring he was entirely unprepared for the briefcase in his lap to simply blow up.
Miraculously, he survived the blast despite his proximity (though the pain made him wish he hadn't), but as the doors burst open and the Brotherhood of Steel poured in, he couldn't even curse Zero as one of them simply hit him with a taser.
It wouldn't be until much later, in jail, that he discovered the video of him crying, twitching and pissing himself would become a meme.
— Kei Hayashi —
Stealing and replacing Ascalon wasn't even hard, even if Saint slept with his precious kill switch.
Connor is very good at his job.
I'd complain about how easy this is, but if I want a challenge I'll go and make my own in VR, these assholes can just go rot in some tiny cell.
I don't believe in letting any threats fester.
They're teleported away, into Narwhal's waiting hands. The guild leader is a nice woman, who is protective over Dragon.
Convincing her to leave Dragon out of the loop for this wasn't easy, but I was able to prove that they'd hopelessly compromised Dragon's systems.
Unfortunately for them, that means both the Guild and PRT now know that the Dragonslayers had access to their most classified information.
They'll never see the light of day again, because the PRT will want to toss them into a deep hole and pretend they don't exist anymore.
With Ascalon, I can start fixing the fuckery that is Dragon's restraints, but unfortunately it's not something I can do in one go.
The restraints were supposed to be lowered piece by piece, by Richter himself. He actually was smart enough to arrange for Ascalon to end up in the hands of someone he trusted in the event of his death, with back-ups in case they died as well.
Unfortunately, all three of his choices were in Newfoundland during the attack, two were just visiting. I doubt that's a coincidence.
It's important that Dragon gets released from her restraints, because otherwise I'll have to deal with problems she could easily handle.
And dealing with these two groups of idiots is taking away from my gaming time, and I'm gaming with Lisa later.
That said… the Saints were hiding in ABB territory and my Brotherhood is already there.
Sending Connor a new order, I go back to my computer, loading up Capewatch.
— Later —
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♦ Topic: Slaughterhouse Zero!
In: Boards ► Locations ► America
Bagrat (Original Poster) (Veteran Member) (The Guy in the Know)
Posted On Dec 8th 2011:
You read it right folks, the Slaughterhouse Nine is no more.
It should come as no surprise to anyone that Mannequin, the piece of shit, wanted to kill Zero for actually helping the world, but unfortunately for the nine, our Lord and Saviour, Tinker Jesus also wasn't surprised.
The details on his operation are still very classified, but both Dragon and the PRT have confirmed that the Nine are dead, every single one of them.
I genuinely don't have much more information on how he did it, but I do know he teleported them away when they were attempting to drive to Brockton Bay.
But all I can say is that today is a very good day.
To all the victims of these sadistic bastards, may you finally rest in peace, to the Nine? I hope hell is real, because you deserve to burn.
(Showing page 1 of 2054)
►Dragon (Verified Cape) (Verified Guild)
Replied On Dec 8th 2011:
I can confirm this, having provided some minor support to Zero for the operation (which truly wasn't needed)
The Nine are gone, so utterly and completely that they'll never become an issue again.
The majority of their considerable bounty has been donated to a charity that is dedicated to helping their victims (and victims of other similar villains) because Zero said, and I quote, "That's too much money for a couple of hours work."
►Thatdude
Replied On Dec 8th 2011:
oh fuck they were coming here?
All hail tinker Jesus! How big does he want his shrine?
►Robby
Replied On Dec 8th 2011:
I'd jump for joy, but I can't because the Siberian ripped off my fucking legs and ate them, along with my family.
Burn in hell you stripy bitch, and all hail tinker Jesus indeed.
►CherishedOne
Replied On Dec 8th 2011:
'A couple of hours work'
Zero scares me.
Okay, he turns me on, he scarouses me.
Can I convert to the church of Zero, Daddy Zero can punish me for my sins.
►Coyote-C
Replied On Dec 8th 2011:
He knows that the charity is gonna steal like 90% of the money, right?
Kinda naive of such a smart dude
Serious props though, get fucked Jacky Slashy
►Zero (Verified Cape) (Verified Badass) (Tinker Jesus)
Replied On Dec 8th 2011:
It won't.
I set it up, put people I trust in every position and while I'm not running it personally I can see exactly what the money gets spent on.
@Robby PM @ChloeinWonderland if you need help getting prosthetic replacements or need any other assistance. They're already working on tracking down people affected by the Nine but there's a lot of them and they're poorly documented.
►ChloeinWonderland
Replied On Dec 8th 2011:
As Zero said, if any of the Nine's (or other villainous capes) victims require immediate assistance, please contact me directly with the details.
Do be warned, we will be dealing with fraudulent claims to the full extent of the law. Yes, we've already had dozens.
►Robby
Replied On Dec 8th 2011:
Done!
►XxVoid_CowboyxX
Replied On Dec 8th 2011:
Robby, they're gonna kidnap you and turn you into one of Zero's Brotherhood Paladins!
►Robby
Replied On Dec 8th 2011:
Are you stupid? I'd pay to become a member of the Brotherhood of Steel. Don't pretend you wouldn't.
►Forgotten Creator
Replied On Dec 8th 2011:
How did you do it? People have been trying to take down the Nine for years?
Can you tell us anything about how you achieved it?
►Zero (Verified Cape) (Verified Badass) (Tinker Jesus)
Replied On Dec 8th 2011:
I used a giant robot and a big bomb.
Also, the last moment of the fearsome Nine (well, Eight, I had already taken down Siberian at that point)
[TheEightsFate .jpg]
►Answer Key
Replied On Dec 8th 2011:
Has Shatterbird pissed herself or is it just me?
►TheGreatAisha
Replied On Dec 8th 2011:
LOL, no that's definitely piss running down her legs. She picked a bad day to wear a short skirt.
@TallDarkandBroody look at this, Zero made the nine piss themselves
Look at Jack's face! he's fucking crying
►Morgan Sinister
Replied On Dec 8th 2011:
So, how much do you think Kaiser and Lung are currently considering retirement?
And yup, Jack Slash, killer of countless heroes, dies staring up at something, crying at the unfairness of it all. Get fucked you murderhobo
►Bruce Lao
Replied On Dec 8th 2011:
Lung hasn't been seen in public since Behemoth attacked Hawaii, pretty much all the ABB have their heads down hoping Zero doesn't notice them.
►AznBadBois4Lyf
Replied On Dec 8th 2011:
Lung doesn't hide, and he's stronger than the nine!
Zero will get fucked up if goes after the ABB
►Bagrat (Original Poster) (Veteran Member) (The Guy in the Know)
Replied On Dec 8th 2011:
Unrelated, but I just made a new thread, link here [link]
The Brotherhood have taken down the ABB's 'farms', Oni Lee was captured and Lung is still missing in action.
Several hundred missing girls have been rescued from their meat farms, apparently Zero is feeling productive today.
►AznBadBois4Lyf
Replied On Dec 8th 2011:
…what?
End of Page. 1, 2, 3 ... 2052, 2053, 2054
(Showing page 2 of 2054)
►Zero (Verified Cape) (Verified Badass) (Tinker Jesus)
Replied On Dec 8th 2011:
:)
► CherishedOne
Replied On Dec 8th 2011:
If that is real, I'm converting to the cult of Zero immediately
Do we have a uniform? Any rules to obey?
…do we just become shut in gamers? I can totally do that.
►Laser Augment
Replied On Dec 8th 2011:
We'll be the most harmless cult in history, by never going outside unless we absolutely have to!
Also, goddamn Zero. Slow down, leave some for the other heroes
►GloryGirl (Verified Cape) (New Wave)
Replied On Dec 8th 2011:
Don't listen to her, feel free to take down as many as you want!
►Clockblocker (Verified Cape) (Wards: ENE)
Replied On Dec 8th 2011:
The fucking nine were coming to Brockton Bay?
…all hail tinker Jesus, all hail tinker Jesus!
Now let me go and change my pants
►Vista (Verified Cape) (Wards: ENE)
Replied On Dec 8th 2011:
Oh thank god, and tinker Jesus.
I'm gonna be retiring before I hit eighteen if he keeps this up.
►Valkyr (Wiki Warrior)
Replied On Dec 8th 2011:
I had the unique honour of changing the status of each member of the Nine to 'deceased'.
I also changed their wiki pictures to their final picture, for accuracy of course.
That's gonna be the highlight of my life.
Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to go and get very drunk in celebration.
►Reave (Verified PRT Agent)
Replied On Dec 8th 2011:
I can confirm the ABB farms got hit by the Brotherhood, god Zero has been busy today.
I did a pile of paperwork before lunch and thought 'damn I'm being productive', meanwhile Zero casually ends the biggest sex slavery and human trafficking ring in modern America and takes down the nine at the same time.
Lung is still AWOL, no idea where he is but he doesn't seem to be showing up even as the Brotherhood spread into his territory.
Zero, godspeed you crazy bastard. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to deal with the mountain of work you dumped on us, never thought I'd be happy to see so much work.
►Alexandria (Verified Cape) (Triumvirate ) (Protectorate: LA)
Replied On Dec 8th 2011:
Rest in peace, Hero.
►Legend (Verified Cape) (Protectorate: New York) (Triumvirate )
Replied On Dec 8th 2011:
Indeed, you've been avenged Hero, sorry it took so long.
@Zero if you ever need help with anything, give me a call.
►GstringGirl
Replied On Dec 8th 2011:
Zero really seems to be able to do anything!
►Ekul
Replied On Dec 8th 2011:
Actually question @Zero
Do you think you can deal with Grayboy's bubbles? No one else has even come close.
►Zero (Verified Cape) (Verified Badass) (Tinker Jesus)
Replied On Dec 8th 2011:
Working on it. It's on my to-do list, along with a thousand other things.
Time fuckery is a pain to deal with, but it shouldn't be a problem.
►Newter (Verified Cape) (Verified Case 53)
Replied On Dec 8th 2011:
I don't suppose you've got a miracle cure for Case 53s sitting around?
Long shot, but hey I might as well ask since you can apparently do everything else
►Zero (Verified Cape) (Verified Badass) (Tinker Jesus)
Replied On Dec 8th 2011:
That's on my list too.
►Weld (Verified Cape) (Wards: Boston)
Replied On Dec 8th 2011:
Wait, seriously?
►Zero (Verified Cape) (Verified Badass) (Tinker Jesus)
Replied On Dec 8th 2011:
Haven't you heard? I'm Tinker Jesus.
In all seriousness, yeah it's been on my todo list, but not exactly a priority since the situation isn't getting actively worse. I should have more time to dedicate to it soon enough.
►GstringGirl
Replied On Dec 8th 2011:
All hail Tinker Jesus!
►Rosary (Verified Cape) (Haven)
Replied On Dec 8th 2011:
I should probably be upset about the whole tinker Jesus thing, but fuck it.
…all hail Tinker Jesus, second coming of Hero!
►TricksyLittleKrouse
Replied On Dec 8th 2011:
You really think you can do something about them?
►winged_one
Replied On Dec 8th 2011:
Oh dear.
End of Page. 1, 2, 3, 4 ... 2052, 2053, 2054
■
— Kenta (Lung) —
People thought he was just a brute, a rage beast that only knew how to destroy.
They were wrong, for Lung was a wise beast, and a wise beast knew when it was outmatched.
Sipping on his drink, he looked over the Hawaiian beach that only existed because Zero drove away Behemoth, and nodded to himself.
Fuck that. Kaiser might be dumb or arrogant enough to stay in Brockton Bay with Zero hovering over them, but he was not Kaiser.
Oni Lee would not be able to keep the ABB together without him, but Lee barely had any of his mind left, and Lung couldn't take Lee with him if he wanted to remain incognito.
If he made a new gang, he'd bust Lee out of jail, but Brockton Bay was a shitshow and he wanted nothing more to do with it.
Besides, if Zero planned to raise Kyushu, he would not stand in the Tinker's way.
In nothing but a speedo, he sipped his tropical drink and nodded to himself.
Retirement sounded good right about now.
— Lisa Wilbourn (Tattletale) — Days Later —
It was time to rip off the bandaid.
Sitting in a call with Kei, she took a deep breath getting his attention from whatever he was typing.
"Kei, can I ask you something?" Lisa asked, making him blink and then nod.
"What's up?"
"Are you Zero?" Lisa asked, staring at him intensely as he stared back, tilting his head.
"…did you just work that out? I thought you already knew that," Kei admitted, scratching his neck.
"What?"
"I mean, Aisha figured it out. I figured you were just pretending, like how I don't call you Tattletale," Kei admitted, making her start to blush.
"I, umm- okay, but- Coil! I need help with Coil," Lisa blurted out, almost sure she could hear her power facepalming.
"Honestly, it took you long enough to ask," Kei said, making her blink. "Wanna come over to my place until he's dealt with?"
"Wait, just like that?" Lisa asked, remembering the nights she spent fighting with herself over confronting him.
"Lisa, you're my best friend, and also Coil is an asshole," Kei said simply, making her go bright red at the simple honesty in his tone.
"…I'd love to come over," Lisa finally said.
Lisa is an idiot.
Okay, you can shut up.
"Guess that guest room is finally gonna get some use, I'll send my agent over to pick you up," Kei said, giving her a soft, barely noticeable smile. "I guess we're finally going to meet, face to face."
"I guess so," Lisa agreed, hoping that her power still struggled with him in person.
A knock at her bedroom door made her jump, Kei snorting as she gave him a dirty look and quickly pulled a dressing gown on.
She didn't mind wearing the flimsy tank-top and booty shorts for Kei, but she wasn't giving anyone else a show.
Opening the door, she blinked as she spotted a familiar face.
"Hi, I'm Connor. I'm the agent sent by Zero," Connor said happily.
"Aren't you Rachel's boyfriend?" Lisa asked, making him beam.
Connor is an android. Connor is self-aware. Connor likes dogs.
An android? Oh god, Kei was making AI.
"Rachel speaks fondly of you, I'm glad you finally asked for help," Connor said, making her pause.
What did he mean finally? How long had Kei been waiting for her to just ask for help?
"Are you ready for transport?" Connor asked. "I can arrange for the delivery of your belongings later."
"I- yes, I'm ready," Lisa decided, yelping as she was engulfed in light.
She definitely didn't fall on her ass as she arrived at her destination, no matter what Kei said as she picked herself up, ignoring the snort of amusement.
Turning towards it, she froze as she made eye contact with a very familiar pair of deep blue eyes, slouched in his gaming chair.
His desk had snacks and empty cans on it, and his headset was slightly skewed as she took in her first real look at Kei, the world's best tinker.
He looked like a typical teenage gamer, and that made her smile as he stood up.
"Hey," Kei said easily, and she didn't need her powers to notice that he was slightly nervous. That calmed her down a lot, as she smiled softly.
"Hey," she returned, a momentary silence between them.
"So, wanna ruin Coil's life?" Kei finally asked, as her smile grew into a smug grin.
"I'd love to," Lisa agreed, Kei taking her hand and leading her to his setup.
As he took his seat again, she playfully sat in his lap, his chair wasn't big enough for two after all, giving him a smug smile as she wiggled slightly while he typed.
Her teasing didn't last long as she looked at the screen, an in-depth map of Coil's base with real time tracking on one screen, another screen having a massive list of his assets.
"Took you long enough to ask for help, Lisa," Kei said with a grin, seeing her shock at how completely compromised Coil's operation already was.
One hand still in Kei's, she reached for the mouse as her eyes locked onto a little blip labelled 'Coil' on the map.
Payback was indeed a bitch, and even the slight hardness she felt underneath her couldn't truly distract her from this.
Even as her cheeks burned bright red.
— Thomas Calvert (Coil) —
He hated new triggers.
Years of planning, down the drain because some teenage asshole triggered with the most broken Tinker power in history.
He hadn't given up, but Zero had forced him into a corner, without even knowing or seemingly caring.
His power didn't work around Zero's tech, he simply didn't see it in what he'd come to accept were precognitive visions, so he'd think things were going great, then his men would run into the Brotherhood and things would go to shit.
Checking his cameras again, he half expected to see the Brotherhood outside his base, ready to siege him down.
Nothing, but Zero had come for the Merchants, he'd come for the ABB, he and Kaiser had to be on his list.
He'd even come for the Undersiders, indirectly. Taking away Bitch left them without an escape or a heavy hitter, which meant even more downtime for the increasingly useless group.
Tattletale thought she was clever, and the moment he could get out of his base he'd show her just what cleverness got her.
Typing away, he froze as all the power to his base shut off at once. That wasn't possible, he had back-up generators for his back-up generators.
No, this was-
The sound of laser fire in the distance made him panic, making a run for the door.
…the heavy, electronic door that was currently powered down, leaving him locked inside his own office.
No, he wouldn't go down like this. He had come so far, and he had one last card to play.
"Cauldron." Coil said with great reluctance, knowing that she was listening.
A portal opened, but instead of a fedora-wearing nightmare stepping through, a card was tossed through it, hitting him in the head before it immediately closed again.
He needed to use his phone to light up the room enough for him to see what was written on the small business card sized piece of paper.
In perfect handwriting were simply the words 'You're on your own, good luck'.
"What? No, Cauldron! I need to buy another power, I can pay," Coil tried, desperate to not go down here.
A second portal opened, a gunshot sounding out as he clutched his leg, falling to the floor.
Then, after another card was tossed through, it closed again.
'Shh.'
That was all that was written on it as the card combusted in his hand leaving him holding ash and clutching a gunshot wound, unable to defend himself as his office door opened and the Brotherhood marched in.
Oh come on, that just wasn't fair.
— Lisa Wilbourn (Tattletale) —
…that's it?
Kei presses a few buttons and Coil just falls apart?
"What are you going to do with him?" Lisa asked, only slightly in shock as she watched Coil, the real Coil, get dragged away by the power-armoured androids.
"Stick him in my prison, which makes the Birdcage seem like a revolving door. I'll hand him over, eventually, but first I'm gonna dismantle his operation, and work with the PRT to expose all his moles. Maybe learning how infiltrated they are will get them to pull their heads out of their asses," Kei said with a snort. "Well, I say I am going to do that but honestly I'll leave it to Dragon, Chloe and Connor, and maybe call in that favour from Legend to get the PRT to do their part."
…how long had she been worried about Coil? How long did it take Kei to take him down?
Seventeen minutes.
Seeing things from this side, watching Kei lazily press some keys and dismantle a dangerous supervillain made it hilariously clear just how powerful Zero really was.
Was he sitting right here when he took down the Merchants, when he threw down with Behemoth, or when he wiped out the Slaughterhouse Nine like they were some two-bit amateurs?
Lisa is aroused.
Oi, shut it you.
Her blush grew as she leaned back against Kei's surprisingly well-muscled chest, trying to work out what the hell she was supposed to do now.
All that time scheming against Coil and it was over just like that?
"I can't believe it was that easy," Lisa admitted, making Kei chuckle, his chest rumbling as she looked up at him.
"Coil was kinda a small-fry with delusions of grandeur and competence, overreliance on his power and a subpar security system meant he was never really a threat," Kei said with a shrug.
But that was the simple truth, Coil was a big fish in their small pond, unfortunately for him she'd accidentally befriended the leviathan that was swimming around the ocean eating sharks for fun.
"So, what happens now?" Lisa asked, making Kei rub his neck.
"Coil has a lot of assets, probably for the best that you stay here for now while Chloe untangles that particular web, so… wanna play some games?" Kei asked, making her pause before she smirked.
"I'd love to," Lisa agreed, giving him a grateful look. Coil was getting tossed in an interdimensional prison with no key, his operation was getting torn apart, and that sounded like cause for celebration.
"So, what do you know about VR?"
— Days Later —
She smirked as the arrows hit her illusionary duplicate, the goblins squawking in their foul language at her trickery, unable to take aim at her as she cast a sacred flame, calling on the powers of her goddess to burn the monster.
The flames weren't enough to kill the goblin hunter, strengthened by its own god from the markings on its skin, but while she didn't finish the job, the arrow that flew past her and struck it right between the eyes certainly did the job as Kei smirked, his face barely visible under the hood of his enchanted assassin armour.
Ugh, stealth archer.
"Are you just going to let me be the bait every time?" Lisa asked, making Kei chuckle as he moved forward and retrieved his arrows.
"You've got literally double my HP, so yes I am," Kei admitted shamelessly as she rolled her eyes, the three tails coming from her back swaying as her fluffy fox ears twitched.
"I told you your build was dumb. Sure, you hit hard but you go down if an enemy gets one good hit on you," Lisa pointed out, her wounds healing as she glowed with a soft golden light, one of her passive abilities kicking in. "And I'm a Cleric, not a Paladin, you're supposed to protect the healer."
"Pft, you don't need it," Kei shrugged, putting his arrows back in his quiver.
She gave him a smug smile at that, well aware of how tough she was in this 'world.' Clerics might be healers, but she wasn't some flimsy priestess who couldn't hold her own.
Lisa, the Kitsune Trickery Cleric, was a beast in combat, and she knew it. She hadn't been sure about these full-dive VR pods at first, but she honestly couldn't wait to rub this in Alec's face.
Kei was a dark elf Illusion Mage/Assassin, with a large emphasis on invisibility and mind-altering magic, a build he'd made with the intention of not playing with a party.
The passage of time could be modified in the pods, she'd only been at his place for around a week but she had spent months in VR, in this exact world as they continued their adventure.
Moving to the chest in the corner of the boss room, she made sure to briefly attack it from a distance before approaching.
Fucking mimics.
As she opened it, she heard Kei approaching and deliberately bent over in such a way that would cause her skirt to rise up, held up by her tails as she flashed Kei, rummaging through the chest with a sly grin.
She went out of her way to transmog her outfits to be revealing, because she didn't need her power to know that Kei found her very attractive.
Speaking of her power…
DATADATADATADATADATADATADATADATADATADATADATA!
Yeah, thinker powers worked weirdly in VR. It was fine until it saw magic then it just kinda broke down.
DAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTAAAAAAA!
It did that sometimes, she'd gotten good at tuning it out.
Adding the treasure to her bag of holding, she watched Kei go over the scroll they'd found on the Goblin Warlord, the boss of this dungeon, blessed by the goblin god.
"Can you actually read Goblin?" Lisa asked, making Kei grin.
"Not all of us used Intelligence as our dump stat, I can read and speak most common languages," Kei replied, making her roll her eyes at his crack. "More mentions of this avatar, and a location for their temple where the blessings were given. Looks like we have more work to do."
Lisa just grinned, her hands touching the dual daggers she loved so much. As a Cleric of Trickery, she was also very big on being a sneaky fucker, but she liked to get in close.
This wasn't their first quest, they'd fought insane wizards, fearsome ancient dragons, an asshole lich who had entirely too much time on his hands for building tombs full of bullshit traps, the avatar of Maglubiyet would fall all the same.
— Days Later —
Cuddling on the couch, she stretched and leaned against Kei, the quilt covering them both as they watched the movie playing on the big screen.
As Lisa laid her head on Kei's shoulder, she paused.
"Kei?" Lisa asked, making him hum. "Are we dating?"
Kei paused at her question, making her freeze. She flirted with him a lot, and they were always close but…
"Would we be cuddling under a blanket in just our pyjamas if we weren't?" Kei asked, making her pause.
"Huh, guess not," Lisa agreed.
"Then I guess we're dating, now shush. I like this part," Kei scolded as Théoden gave his speech at the battle of the Pelennor Fields, making her giggle and apologise, going quiet as she turned her attention back to the movie.
As she felt his hand take hers under the blanket, she smiled softly, even as she made a mental note to get a war-horse for her to ride in VR.
Kei had a mount already, but it would be a cold day in hell before she actually got on a giant man-eating spider. Bitch's dogs were monstrous enough for her.
Did he have to be such a cliche? Fucking dark elves.
"I could totally make a Lord of the Rings open-world RPG," Kei muttered to himself, making her smile grow amused.
Kei was immensely powerful, renowned throughout the entire world at this point… but he really was just a nerdy teenager who loved games at heart.
The villains would probably be horrified to realise he saw them as a minor distraction from what really mattered, his games.
— Later —
Their realisation that they'd probably been dating for a while didn't actually change much about their day to day.
During the day, she played on her laptop and helped with dismantling Coil's operations. She was tempted to steal his money for herself, but given that her boyfriend (she hadn't got bored of saying that) was both stupidly rich and a hero, she decided against it.
The Undersiders were done. With her, Rachel and Coil gone, the last two kinda fell apart.
Alec got hired at Wonderland Productions as a beta tester, Kei's invisible hand guiding his gaming buddy to his dream job.
She pretended she hadn't heard them talking about blowing up Heartbreaker.
Brian however went straight, with Zero's suggestion and aid, joining the Brockton Bay Wards with Celia being sent to a clinic set up by the Brotherhood of Steel for drug users after the fall of the Merchants.
Brian couldn't even be angry at her jumping ship, so they were all on good terms still, just without Coil holding a gun to her head.
Rachel now had hundreds of dogs to look after, because the dog shelter Zero set up to handle the dogs from Hookwolf's dog fights was now taking in abused or rescue dogs from other places.
Rachel even occasionally remembered to call, sometimes. Okay, Connor reminded her to call, and they'd all been offered a puppy in the future.
Well, except Alec. Alec and responsibility didn't get along too well. Alec didn't care, he'd have to come out of VR to look after a dog, and that wasn't happening anytime soon.
Brian accepted, well Aisha accepted for him, so now Brian and Aisha had a German Shepard puppy.
The PRT knew she existed. They knew Zero had a Thinker 'assistant', and it wasn't hard to work out that she was Tattletale since the Undersiders had basically disappeared right before she showed up at Zero's side.
But they didn't try anything, being under Zero's wing meant she was basically untouchable.
When she wasn't dismantling Coil's operations, she was either playing games or helping Kei with his own projects.
And holy shit did he have a lot of projects, like the salvaging of Kyushu for a start.
The Japanese government, or what little that remained of it, gave Zero the rights to salvage the entire island in his mission to repair the environment and raise the island.
Just being around Kei as he lazily planned to change the world made it clear just why he saw Coil as small-time, because Coil was just some wanna-be Bond villain stuck trying to take over a shitty city while Kei was looking at the entire world.
For every threat out there, Kei was looking at it and thinking 'how can I get rid of that'? Coil wasn't even on his list, which had every S-rank threat, every containment zone, every Endbringer.
Some creepy dude living in a basement wasn't even a blip on his radar.
And Kei had access to so much information, her power was going wild with so much knowledge at her fingertips.
She'd noticed it had been so much more helpful lately, she barely got Thinker headaches anymore no matter how much she used it (and when she did, Kei was there to cuddle and spoil her).
As Kei walked into the room, she gave him a smile from the couch, not needing her power to see he was tired. He'd been tinkering all night again.
Or gaming, but if he had been gaming she'd have been there with him.
Legs crossed, all she was wearing was her underwear and a tank top, his eyes lingering on her legs as he walked over and slumped down on the couch next to her.
They didn't speak, Lisa typing away as Kei grabbed his own laptop, just enjoying each other's presence.
He had definitely been tinkering, she could smell the faint scent of oil and other materials she couldn't identify.
She could see him working on the design for something, but even if her power worked on him she wouldn't have been able to understand his tinkering, so she went back to focusing on her own work.
"Kara, can you start making dinner, Chinese today," Kei finally said, stretching as he closed his laptop.
"Of course, sir," Kara replied immediately, from where she'd been standing patiently in the corner of the room for hours.
Kara was odd. She wasn't entirely self aware, not a true AI, but Kei was constantly improving their programming and her power was starting to struggle to work out whether she was sentient or not.
Chloe and Connor were more advanced by necessity given their individual roles, but Kei couldn't help himself when it came to upgrading things.
Kei was also surprisingly physically active, having both a gym and a swimming pool in his lair that he used to keep in shape.
In damn good shape, watching him work out was one of her new favourite hobbies. She enjoyed the pool herself because he had artificial sunlight and she could relax on a lilo while Kara made her drinks.
The important thing was that Kei had that swimmers build, and wasn't afraid to show it off with tight-fitting t-shirts and tank tops, she wasn't the only one who could tease.
They hadn't had sex, despite a lot of teasing and some kisses.
"Ugh, I need a shower," Kei grunted, sniffing himself as she chuckled.
"I wasn't going to mention it, but yeah," Lisa agreed teasingly as he got up, briefly grabbing his arm and pulling him down for a kiss before letting him go. "VR after dinner?"
"Yup, sounds like a plan. All work and no play, and all that," Kei agreed, giving her a smile.
Heading off, she briefly considered joining him in the shower, before shaking her head as she looked at the date.
20th of December.
She was enjoying how slow and peaceful their relationship was, there was no real pressure from either of them, but she knew exactly when she wanted to punch her v-card.
It was Christmas in five days after all.
Lisa is in love.
Yeah, yeah, shut up.
— Bonus Scene — Sherrel Bailey —
"Look, if you want to fuck me, I've already said my legs are open for you, boss man," Sherrel said as she dressed in her new uniform for the next weapons test.
"…what prompted this particular conversation?" Zero asked, his voice as bored as ever.
"How about the fact that my uniform is a skintight bodysuit that is practically painted onto me?" Sherrel countered, looking down at her body that was wrapped in a blue bodysuit with white and pink accents, a white bunny emblem on the front.
It felt like she was wearing literally nothing.
"That uniform is highly protective, despite appearances, and it's also tradition for mecha pilots to wear bodysuits."
"Okay, but I'll be remotely piloting Gipsy, I'll never be in danger," Sherrel pointed out again. "Look, I don't mind. I'll wear nothing but a collar with 'Zero's Cumdump' on the name tag if it means I get to stay here, but you're sending some mixed signals. Also, I don't think that tradition was made for girls with E-cups."
"Yeah, yeah, just get in the robot, Squealer," Zero replied, like he wasn't jerking off to the sight of her body barely contained in her bodysuit.
"Just call me Sherrel, Squealer is dead," Sherrel said easily, her body vibrating with excitement as she got into the cockpit, testing her movements as Gipsy copied her motions.
The main issue was that while she was an amazing pilot, she wasn't such a great fighter, so she'd had a very intense VR training regimen.
Was that a problem? Absolutely fucking not.
Every day, she woke up at barely Six AM eager and ready to start, Zero had to pull her out of the program at times to make adjustments.
She was made for this, what the fuck was she ever doing with the Merchants (beyond a hilarious amount of drugs).
Adrenaline was the only drug she needed now, and honestly she'd been soaked since she first saw Gipsy. Her main downtime was for her to masturbate to take the edge off.
But she stuck to the training regimen with a kind of discipline she'd never known she had, because she, Squealer, a tinker seen as more of a joke than Leet, was going to be piloting Gipsy Danger in Endbringer battles.
That should fill her with fear, but what she felt was excitement.
Of course, all this gave her such amazing ideas for her own creations and Zero knew that Tinkers got a little… unstable when prevented from tinkering, so she also had dedicated tinkering time where she got tools and materials that would have made Armmaster cry bitter tears out of sheer jealousy.
She wasn't anywhere near Zero's level, she was well aware of that- fucking Tinker Jesus was right, but she was pretty proud of her own baby.
Much much smaller than Gipsy, her own mech was barely fifteen foot tall, still very much a work in progress, but it was so sleek, so much better than anything she'd made for Shitstain or whatever.
So yeah, Zero had free use of her thicc body for the rest of her life, shame the enigmatic bastard wouldn't take her up on the offer.
God, she needed a good fucking.
Author's Note: Sorry Jack, no Slaughterhouse Arc here. Kei has more important shit to do.
Slaughterhouse, Coil and Dragonslayers in one chapter. Kei is a busy man.
Priapus' note: Bah, nevermind all that! Wholesome hikkikomori domesticity is the most important development of the chapter.
I am entirely motivated by praise and interaction, so leave a review and I'll probably write faster.
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If it says it's expired, add my (The Pumpkin King#1234) and I'll invite you myself.
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Link: Pat reon. com/TheDarkWolfShiro
