Chapter 15 High School Classmates

It has been three months since Santichai last saw Asnee. After being discharged from the hospital, he started a new job at a sewing company with the help of Decha. He usually walks to work or he rides his old moped he's had since high school. He's a quick learner and is good at numbers, so cutting and sewing pieces of cloth isn't difficult for him.

Since Asnee left him, he has decided not to be in a relationship anymore. From birth to death, he knew; he was destined to be abandoned. His biological parents abandoned him. His adoptive parents abandoned him, and now Asnee has abandoned him. Every time he opens up, his heart is always hurt by the people he loves. He took small, slow steps each day so as not to think too much about Asnee. It was difficult for him because they had known each other for seven years. He was cooking in the kitchen when the door to his apartment opened when Asnee walked in. He was taken aback.

Asnee rushed over and hugged him tightly in Asnee's arms. Asnee cried, "Chai, I can't forget you. I tried my best, but I still can't forget you. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry for breaking up with you."

Santichai's tears had already fallen, and he hugged Asnee tightly, "Asnee, I can't forget you either, I miss you so much."

Asnee kissed Santichai's forehead. He said, "Chai, I can't stay here with you, but you can stay with me. Every night I lie on that soft bed, and I think of you. I think about how hard this sofa bed is. This hard bed can put a lot of pressure on your injured back. Knowing you're here, I don't want to sleep on a soft bed. Please stay with me and leave this place with me."

"Asnee, how can I be with you? You said to yourself, if you were with me, your parents wouldn't support you through college," Santichai said. "My low income will not be able to support you." He cried. "You know very well that I cannot financially support your lifestyle."

Asnee said, "Santichai, go back with me, I will find a way."

Santichai said, "Asnee, since we've broken up, so be it. I can love you from a distance because I know I'll never be able to give you what your parents gave you."

Asnee said, "Then love me from a distance. I love you and I love my parents. I can't choose you over them, or them over you. Why can't one of you took a step back and leave me some space to breathe? Any of you know I'm suffocating to the point where I can't breathe? My body is going to class, but my mind wanders elsewhere." He knelt on his knees. "Chai, please come home with me. Please do this for me. I love you so much, my feelings for you overwhelm me."

Santichai knew that next year was Asnee's last, and if he didn't do well in his exams, he would have to start all over again. He slowly knelt in front of Asnee and said, "Asnee, I lost this love game to you, but could you please promise me one thing, I can change however you want me to change, but please don't leave me for another person."

Asnee pulled Santichai into his arms and said, "I promise you, no matter what happens in the future, I will not leave you for another person. When I graduate and have a stable job, we will leave this place together."

The next day, Santichai moved into their apartment. The apartment is a two-bedroom apartment. The kitchen and living room are separate. Asnee asked the moving company to bring all fifteen boxes of Santichai's belongings into the second small bedroom.

Santichai asked, "Asnee, do you have any extra hangers?

Asnee asked, "What do you need a hanger for?"

Santichai said, "I'm going to hang up my clothes."

Asnee said, "Chai, you can't hang your clothes in the closet. What if my parents suddenly decide to show up?"

Santichai looked at Asnee with some disappointment. He asked, "Then where do you want me to hang my clothes?"

Asnee said, "Keep them in the box." He smiled at Santichai. "A year will go by very quickly."

Santichai said sadly, "You want me to keep my stuff in these boxes?"

"Yes. I don't want my parents to know that we are back together," Asnee said.

Santichai suddenly wonders if it was a mistake to live with Asnee again. He looked at Asnee and asked, "Asnee, are you hiding something from me?"

Asnee said, "No." He picked up his phone. "Ma...where are you?" After listening for a few minutes. "Okay. I'll come down right now. You don't have to come up." He hung up, looking at Santichai. "I'm sorry, I forgot to tell you, I made an appointment with my mother for dinner, and I'll buy you something to eat later."

Asnee wants their relationship to be kept secret, and Santichai has no problem with that. He didn't talk back to Asnee because Asnee was nicer to him. Even after Asnee graduated from college, Asnee didn't move out and leave the city, but went to work at his father's company. Santichai didn't mind at all because when his father retired, the company would belong to Asnee.

In their ninth year together, Santichai's sales manager asked Santichai to accompany him and two other colleagues on a three-day promotion sale in different cities. Santichai waits outside the airport, but Asnee is nowhere to be found. He called Asnee before letting Asnee know when to pick him up. After waiting for Asnee for two hours, Santichai decided to take a taxi home. He wasn't mad at Asnee because there might be an emergency at Asnee's company.

When Santichai got home, he opened the door and walked in. He found their place full of rubbish and bear cans. He threw his backpack on the sofa and went into the bedroom. He opened the door and went in. In front of him, Asnee lies naked in the bed, holding a naked woman. He was more sad than angry. He wanted to shout, but nothing came out of his mouth. He walked out slowly and closed the door. Then Somak came out of the other bedroom and stretched his head from side to side.

Somak yawned, "Hey..." He rubbed his eyes. "Santichai? Oh, it's just you, you finally showed up. Ai nong, you came a little late to the party." He patted Santichai twice on the left shoulder.

Ruangsak walked to Asnee's bedroom and said, "Damn, I'm dizzy. It's all Ai Nee's fault." He started knocking hard on the bedroom door. "Hey, wake up... your lover is here."

Asnee walked out of the bedroom frantically, "The fuck is your problem." Seeing Santichai, his face suddenly turned pale. "Chai.."

Santichai looked at Asnee expressionless, "Good morning, Asnee."

The woman came from behind Asnee, wrapping her arms around Asnee's waist. She kissed his cheek and said, "Good morning, pi Nee." She looked at Santichai. "Who is he?"

Asnee stammered, "He... he..."

"We were high school classmates," Santichai said, looking around the room. "Hey man, now that the party is over, I'm heading out." He picked up his backpack and walked out the door.

Santichai didn't know where to go, so he asked a taxi driver to drive him to nearby lake. He sat on the bench, watching the flying birds, the wind blowing on his face, he could taste the sweetness and bitterness of the lake odor in the air; the bitterness of the lake odor was not as bitter as the bitterness in his heart, but he did not cry.

Santichai knows that no matter how hard he tries to make himself better, no matter what changes he makes, it won't change Asnee's behavior. Over the past few years, Asnee's actions have allowed him to slowly build a wall to protect his fragile heart from harm. As the affection dies, so does the will to continue to love.

Decha sat next to Santichai. He sighed, "I knew you'd be here." He handed Santichai a bottle of water. "How was your trip?"

Santichai asked, "Why are you here?"

Decha said, "Ai Nee asked me to track you down. He was worried that you would hurt yourself."

Santichai said, "I won't."

Decha, "He also asked when you were going home."

Santichai said, "I don't know yet."

Decha, "He said he was kneeling at home waiting for you to come home. If you don't go home, he will kneel until you go home."

Santichai said, "He won't continue kneeling."

"Ai Nee told me what happened last night. He said he was too drunk, and he wasn't sure what happened," Decha said.

Santichai said, "Frank, is there anything else you know but won't tell me?"

Decha said, "I don't know anything, but what I do know is that you love Ai Nee so much that you are willing to let him hurt you." He put his arms around Santichai's shoulders. "Chai, as a good friend, I want to tell you that no matter how much you love others, you must also remember to love yourself."

Santichai said, "Frank, if you think you'd betray Asnee by telling me, you don't need to answer me. You just nod or shake your head."

Decha said, "Okay."

Santichai asked, "Is Asnee dating that woman?"

Decha sighed and nodded. He looked at Santichai, whose tears had already fallen, and drew a salty trace on down his soft white cheeks. "If tears leave a trail, you're going to have millions of trails all over your face," he said, looking at Santichai. "Cry if you want to."

Santichai sobbed and leaned against Decha's shoulder.

(Memory End)